Widget

Widget is a comedy website based in Hamilton ON Canada. We specialise in fart jokes and anti-capitalism. It’s a socialist comedy website and maker of the Canadian socialist comedy podcast Work It. Widget is an absurd comedy website, black comedy website, experimental comedy website – it’s a site like Clickhole meets Jacobin. We are a great site for emerging and first-time, diverse comedy writers.
15 Pins
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3y
I May Be Achilles’ Heel, But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Strong In My Own Way by Wilson Conkwright – Widget – a funny website
“Despite what you’ve probably heard, I am a very normal heel, decent on all accounts. I may not be the best heel, but nobody is really ‘the best’ anything. I mean, Achilles was supposed to be the best fighter to ever live and… Bad example.”
The Mythical Aquarians That Don’t Have Commitment Issues by Kaitlyn Jeffers – Widget – a funny website
“Aquarians are known for being emotionally distant. Some might even call them ‘unfeeling jerks.’ (Those people are wrong, of course, but entitled to their opinion – regardless of how much it is based in jealousy. Is this narrator an Aquarius? Yes, but that has nothing to do with our story.) Brace yourself, reader, as we explore what happens when the stars and planets make a grave error… This is the story of the two mythical Aquarians that don’t have commitment issues.”
I’m Sorry, Curiosity Shoppe Cannot Offer A Refund For Your Monkey’s Paw by Kyrie Gray – Widget – a funny website
“Surely the associate who sold you the [Monkey’s Paw] included the ‘Be careful what you wish for’ rundown along with the standard ominous laugh? It is company policy.” Kyrie Gray, writing from Curiosity Shoppe’s customer support department.
Happily Ever After Real Estate Listings by Shea Strauss – Widget – a funny website
“TOWER (PREVIOUSLY OCCUPIED BY RAPUNZEL): Want to get away from it all? Look no further than the ultimate seclusion of this 1-room, 26-storey beauty. ... The previous owner swears by its captive-holding capabilities, especially if you remember to cut their hair sometimes. Home inspector’s summary: foundations in good shape, shower drains completely clogged.” Shea Strauss with listings from Happily Ever After Real Estate, today on https://widgetmag.com/
“Where Should They Be Now?”: Trump’s Cabinet Officials by Meghana Indurti – Widget – a funny website
“[Jeff Sessions] was originally supposed to be a sentient boy puppet. One owned by a white couple moving to gentrify a neighbourhood in Oakland. He’d make just enough noise in the middle of the night to creep out the child and make the rest of the family think she’s got something wrong with her. He’d hide the car keys, lay on the steps in the dark to trip people, and scare the dog to keep him barking all night.”
A Modern Bestiary Of Humans by Caitlin Kunkel – Widget – a funny website
“THE CONSPIRACY THEORIST: Queeg-14 was concerned this group of self-proclaimed ‘truth-seekers’ would be closest to understanding The Council’s grand plan for humanity, but they were…very focused on child sex trafficking rings. Like, weirdly focused on that one very specific thing, to the point that none of them noticed Queeg-14, a literal alien being, in their midst.” --- Caitlin Kunkel is a writer and teacher, whose work has been featured in The New York Times, The New Yorker, and McSweeney’s.
I’m La Llorona And I’d Like To Arrange A Time To Return Your Annoying ‘Gifted Kid’ by Lauren Lavín – Widget – a funny website
Today on https://widgetmag.com/, Laruen Lavín writes about a VERY precocious child: “Look, this is very unusual and awkward for me, as I’m sure it must be for you. In my countless years roaming the woods to steal reckless children, this is only the second time I’ve had to return one. The other was some time ago, and he was French, somehow, in the middle of nowhere, West Texas. He had way too many opinions about wine for a five-year-old. Your kid is worse.”
Left At the Altar by James Brown – Widget – a funny website
“Even after I played her that clip she liked so much, where Rush Limbaugh says that if same-sex couples could marry each other, pretty soon people would be marrying dogs… Even after that, she still didn’t get it. ‘That was a joke,’ she cried. But how could it have been a joke? He didn’t say ‘just kidding’ afterwards.” --- James Brown is a writer and comedian from Montreal. He hosted a show Squad Laughs was pretty popular back when you could have indoor gatherings.
Shark Tank: Myths and Legends Edition by Johnny Mo – Widget – a funny website
Today on https://widgetmag.com/, check out Medusa (and others) pitching Shark Tank: “Every single day in the earthly realm, a beloved pet is reported stolen. A theft that leaves young children companionless, relegates crazy cat ladies to plain old crazy ladies, and strips unwed adults—“fur mamas,” I believe they’re called in this realm—of their only personality trait. My company can ease the pain by eternally preserving the memory of that fur baby in pure solid stone...”⠀ -----⠀ By Johnny Mo
The Mothman’s Pitch For A New Statue by Krissy Howard – Widget – a funny website
“I may have come off as supercritical this afternoon, so I just wanna give credit where credit is due — the abs. I fucking love them.” Krissy Howard reports on Mothman’s suggestions to improve his statue. ----- Krissy Howard is a New Mexico-based freelance writer and amateur seed saver. Her work has appeared on Reductress, Byrdie, and Cuteness, and she currently serves as managing editor of punk satire site, The Hard Times.
I’m The Dybbuk Who Lives In Your Apartment, And We Need To Talk by Sophie Geffros – Widget – a funny website
“You’re doing great, bubbeleh. On meds, exercising, talking to the people you love – I’m so proud of you.” Sophie Geffros on an empathetic dybbuk. --- Sophie is an organiser + PhD candidate. They’re often advocating for housing/transit justice.
The Legend of Sleep-With-Me Hollow by Alex Gonzalez – Widget – a funny website
“Oh, so you’ve heard the cries in the night woods just as I have? The bellowing cries from the simp on a steed, asking where his hug is? Gather round as I tell The Legend of Sleep-With-Me Hollow.” Alex Gonzalez’s new piece will chill you to the bones. 🎃 ----- Alex Gonzalez is a horror & comedy writer. His scripts are represented by Thunder Avenue and his fiction is represented by Fine Print.
Do Not Stop Reading This Chain Email or Something Bad Will Happen!!! by Scarlet Meyer – Widget – a funny website
“If you do not forward this chain message with the title ‘A Very Terrifying Way to Break Up’, you will get dumped AND never be able to rock magenta ever again!!!!” Check out Scarlet Meyer today at widgetmag.com!
I Don’t Care Who You’re The Ghost Of. I’m the Landlord Of This Property And You Need To Pay Me Rent by Kevin Tit – Widget – a funny website
I Don’t Care Who You’re The Ghost Of. I’m the Landlord Of This Property And You Need To Pay Me Rent, by Kevin Tit === “I don’t care if you’re the murdered spirit of some European monarch. I need my money!” #myths #legends #humor