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Widget

Widget is a comedy website based in Hamilton ON Canada. We specialise in fart jokes and anti-capitalism. It’s a socialist comedy website and maker of the Canadian socialist comedy podcast Work It. Widget is an absurd comedy website, black comedy website, experimental comedy website – it’s a site like Clickhole meets Jacobin. We are a great site for emerging and first-time, diverse comedy writers.

15 Pins

Learning To Love Yourself

Always Learning

Learn To Love

Ancient Greece

I May Be Achilles’ Heel, But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Strong In My Own Way by Wilson Conkwright – Widget – a funny website

“Despite what you’ve probably heard, I am a very normal heel, decent on all accounts. I may not be the best heel, but nobody is really ‘the best’ anything. I mean, Achilles was supposed to be the best fighter to ever live and… Bad example.”

the cover of w magazine features zodiacs and astrological symbols in black and white

Ty Segall

The Star Tarot Aquarius

The Mythical Aquarians That Don’t Have Commitment Issues by Kaitlyn Jeffers – Widget – a funny website

“Aquarians are known for being emotionally distant. Some might even call them ‘unfeeling jerks.’ (Those people are wrong, of course, but entitled to their opinion – regardless of how much it is based in jealousy. Is this narrator an Aquarius? Yes, but that has nothing to do with our story.) Brace yourself, reader, as we explore what happens when the stars and planets make a grave error… This is the story of the two mythical Aquarians that don’t have commitment issues.”

a man in a witch costume sitting at a desk using a laptop computer with the words, i'm sorry curiosity shoppe cannot offer a refund for your monkey's paw

Customer Service Training

Ancient Scroll

Leaving Work

Help Desk

Make Your Dreams Come True

One Wish

After All This Time

I’m Sorry, Curiosity Shoppe Cannot Offer A Refund For Your Monkey’s Paw by Kyrie Gray – Widget – a funny website

“Surely the associate who sold you the [Monkey’s Paw] included the ‘Be careful what you wish for’ rundown along with the standard ominous laugh? It is company policy.” Kyrie Gray, writing from Curiosity Shoppe’s customer support department.

an advertisement for a real estate listing company with a small house in the front yard

Happily Ever After Real Estate Listings by Shea Strauss – Widget – a funny website

“TOWER (PREVIOUSLY OCCUPIED BY RAPUNZEL): Want to get away from it all? Look no further than the ultimate seclusion of this 1-room, 26-storey beauty. ... The previous owner swears by its captive-holding capabilities, especially if you remember to cut their hair sometimes. Home inspector’s summary: foundations in good shape, shower drains completely clogged.” Shea Strauss with listings from Happily Ever After Real Estate, today on https://widgetmag.com/

a man with horns on his head wearing glasses and pointing to the side in front of him

“Where Should They Be Now?”: Trump’s Cabinet Officials by Meghana Indurti – Widget – a funny website

“[Jeff Sessions] was originally supposed to be a sentient boy puppet. One owned by a white couple moving to gentrify a neighbourhood in Oakland. He’d make just enough noise in the middle of the night to creep out the child and make the rest of the family think she’s got something wrong with her. He’d hide the car keys, lay on the steps in the dark to trip people, and scare the dog to keep him barking all night.”

two humanoids standing next to each other in front of a window with the words modern bestiary of humans on it

A Modern Bestiary Of Humans by Caitlin Kunkel – Widget – a funny website

“THE CONSPIRACY THEORIST: Queeg-14 was concerned this group of self-proclaimed ‘truth-seekers’ would be closest to understanding The Council’s grand plan for humanity, but they were…very focused on child sex trafficking rings. Like, weirdly focused on that one very specific thing, to the point that none of them noticed Queeg-14, a literal alien being, in their midst.” --- Caitlin Kunkel is a writer and teacher, whose work has been featured in The New York Times, The New Yorker, and McSweeney’s.

Gifted Kid

Your Annoying

Weeping Woman

In The Middle Of Nowhere

West Texas

Middle Of Nowhere

I’m La Llorona And I’d Like To Arrange A Time To Return Your Annoying ‘Gifted Kid’ by Lauren Lavín – Widget – a funny website

Today on https://widgetmag.com/, Laruen Lavín writes about a VERY precocious child: “Look, this is very unusual and awkward for me, as I’m sure it must be for you. In my countless years roaming the woods to steal reckless children, this is only the second time I’ve had to return one. The other was some time ago, and he was French, somehow, in the middle of nowhere, West Texas. He had way too many opinions about wine for a five-year-old. Your kid is worse.”

a small dog wearing a wedding dress and veil with the words, left at the altar

Walking Down The Aisle

Just Kidding

Left At the Altar by James Brown – Widget – a funny website

“Even after I played her that clip she liked so much, where Rush Limbaugh says that if same-sex couples could marry each other, pretty soon people would be marrying dogs… Even after that, she still didn’t get it. ‘That was a joke,’ she cried. But how could it have been a joke? He didn’t say ‘just kidding’ afterwards.” --- James Brown is a writer and comedian from Montreal. He hosted a show Squad Laughs was pretty popular back when you could have indoor gatherings.

two men on horses with the words shark tank, myths and legend's edition

Community Service Ideas

Shark Tank: Myths and Legends Edition by Johnny Mo – Widget – a funny website

Today on https://widgetmag.com/, check out Medusa (and others) pitching Shark Tank: “Every single day in the earthly realm, a beloved pet is reported stolen. A theft that leaves young children companionless, relegates crazy cat ladies to plain old crazy ladies, and strips unwed adults—“fur mamas,” I believe they’re called in this realm—of their only personality trait. My company can ease the pain by eternally preserving the memory of that fur baby in pure solid stone...”⠀ -----⠀ By Johnny Mo

The Mothman

Marching Band Uniforms

The Mothman’s Pitch For A New Statue by Krissy Howard – Widget – a funny website

“I may have come off as supercritical this afternoon, so I just wanna give credit where credit is due — the abs. I fucking love them.” Krissy Howard reports on Mothman’s suggestions to improve his statue. ----- Krissy Howard is a New Mexico-based freelance writer and amateur seed saver. Her work has appeared on Reductress, Byrdie, and Cuteness, and she currently serves as managing editor of punk satire site, The Hard Times.