"Sun" by Henry Jokela
1. |
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Is that the sun I'm looking at I cannot tell
Is that the sun I'm looking at I cannot tell out here
Sometimes I wonder how long it would take me to forget
How to speak if I were the only person left on Earth
Alive alive alive alive
I control myself with the kind of house I build
If the house is clean it cannot fall apart
So by the time I'm ready for my closeup
I'll be dead or pregnant and knowing well
Of dying as more familiar than being born
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2. |
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Beg me to get back on the pony
Come on beg me to get back on the pony
I was a child sleeping with a shovel in my bed
I was lining up Mom’s earrings on the floor
I was a germaphobe I could’ve been a murderer
Always stepping back letting anything unfold
Afraid of the water
Afraid of the dark of older children
Promising not to then pissing in my sister’s leotard
And I was in rapture without a clue
Without a conscience still without a conscience
Beg me to get back on the pony
Come on beg me to get back on the pony
I wanna feel safe in an animal way
In my animal body on the ground
I’ll be in like a lamb
I’ll be out like a lamb
If I staged a miracle I can do it again
I can do it again I can do it again
Beg me to get back on the pony
Come on beg me to get back on the pony
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3. |
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Cigarettes and apples for dinner again
And again and again and again
Again and again and again
I reach for the last piece of fruit on the counter
And find it already in my mouth
Again and again and again
We saw a red moon rise over water so big
That I couldn’t remember its name
So I turned to you again and again
When I spilled red wine on the carpet
At somebody else’s I pray to you
I’ve seen you do it again and again
I need you more than you need me
I need you more than you need me
These days I get up a little bit quicker than you
But the heat from my side of the bed
Will never go away it’ll stay
Next to your sleepy long hair which I held while you puked
After drinks back in 2015 you have done the same
For me again and again and again because
I need you more than you need me
I need you more than you need me
Cigarettes and apples for dinner again
And again and again and again
Again and again and again
I reach for the last piece of fruit on the counter
And find it already in my mouth
Again and again and again
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4. |
Shugarboy
02:06
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I am everything like a woman’s 10
Never anything without Sam
Catching cold before I give it time to fall
Holding gold that I will never wear
Smoking in the stairwell
No fake smoke look like real smoke
Drink forgive me
Drink run dry drink running dry
Model water
One half clean and not sure which part
Misplaced reverence
Shugarboy
Moth flies into an open flame
Too afraid to speak his name
Knocking on the door to leave
You are not the one I want
No fake smoke look like real smoke
I am not your honeypot
Drink run dry drink running dry
To have but never hold
One half clean and not sure which part
I do not dream of
Shugarboy
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5. |
Cheap
03:23
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Don’t be cheap just pay the ransom
Drive the limit on the bridge back to the USA
Don’t watch the road don’t count your money in your head
Witness the secret disease of all the cattle off the highway
I think of you when I cut my hair
I think often of cutting out my middle name
And I can’t describe how bad your stubble hurts my lips
While we’re making love in the bed where your grandma died
I was only practicing I didn’t know I was practicing
I didn’t know I was practicing I didn’t know I was cheap
Don’t you be cruel no don’t you I.D. me
When I roll back into town
When I’m trying to throw my weight around
I tell strangers still I’m only 19 years old
So I can seem a little smarter than my age
So I can get laid
And that was cruel I knew full well that was cruel
I knew full well I was cruel I knew full well I was cruel
But I was only practicing I didn’t know I was practicing
I didn’t know I was practicing I didn’t know I was cheap
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6. |
Easy Song
04:49
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Sleeping in my clothes
Stargazing I could not find
The biggest piece of the sky
Shirt against my spine
So light that I can hardly tell if it’s mine
Spitting out my teeth I
Have to give away when I can steal just right
I ate five apple seeds last night
Now tell me am I gonna die
Or will I be fine
All that I can do is beg me to remember
A lighter meaning to shake myself awake
Too slow to knock my teeth out
And fast enough to hurt so bad I can’t stand up
I see a shadow on the wall
How dare the sunrise come so slow come at all
And unfold a hand to mention my home
I’m that woman on the stage
I am black dress and almost no tits
Singing my easy song
Singing easy singing easy
Hear me easy hear me easy
Sand and cotton dry
As honey baby cuts her wrists
On a pale blue sky
Crying something about a splinter
Crying who done this to me
Singing easy singing easy
Singing easy singing easy
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7. |
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Show me that red
Show me that trust
Lend me that courage now
Lend me that trouble
I am an animal
I am an animal
Dancing like a woman
Singing just like a woman
Watching you pray
Losing your voice
Promising twice
You can sing on the next one
Eating the makeup
Off of my face
Saving a horse
Killing a cowboy
Hating the chorus
Loving the choir
Thinking of dancing
As a means to an end
Dancing like a woman
Just like a woman
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8. |
Weak Leg ft. Merce Lemon
03:01
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Thank you goodnight I love you
You’re the only thing that keeps me alive
You’re the only thing that keeps me alive
You’re the only thing that keeps me
Thank you for breaking me even
And waiting me out as if I was a coward
Leaning heavy on your weak leg
Putting away putting away
Can’t you see how hard I’m working at this
Can’t you see how hard I’m working at this
Pumping the dog full of morphine
In the last hours of her life
And holding her hand as her eyes roll back
She’s high as hell she’s terrified
Now this is the sound of me burning
Every patience that I lack
Every new song is a murder ballad
Every breath an asthma attack
Can’t you see can’t you see
Can’t you see can’t you see
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Nat Harvie Minneapolis, Minnesota
The art-pop solo project of songwriter and recordist Nat Harvie. Nat lives and works in minnesota.
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