Amazon #1 (April, 1996)

There's a reductive tendency, and I'm guilty of this myself, to treat Amalgam Comics as simple combos. Thor + Orion = Thorion. And yes, there was some of that. Of the Amalgam Comics that I read, I figure Iron Lantern was the best at going through a list of shared concepts between DC and Marvel to create 50/50 splits all the way down the line. Pepper Ferris, Happy Kalmaku, Mandarinestro. Tick, tick, tick. However, there were quite a few people shaping this thing, with varied and sometimes conflicting approaches. For instance, and to the surprise of no one, John Byrne went his own way.

I was chagrined at the announcement of Byrne taking over Wonder Woman, and at this point was eight months into enduring a three year tour. Of all the books Byrne bailed on early, he just had to prove a point by staying on mine. He even managed to get an issue out in addition to Amazon, just one week apart. So lucky for me! While I liked Storm when I was an X-Men reader, I had unamiably separated from that fandom years earlier, and was rather unhappy with the mutant weather witch having beaten Princess Diana by popular vote in DC versus Marvel. I confess that my own store's tally was not a part of the count, because I didn't get around to mailing them in. Regardless of my efforts to lay a heavy thumb on the scale for the Amazing Amazon, Storm was still the in-store victor, and in fact I think all of my shop's voting aligned with the published winners. But anyway, I'm dealing with an X-Men creator lousing up a favorite book and character, the sour spot about the Storm victory, and now a book where Ororo usurps Diana in the role of Wonder Woman? Oh, joy. I was clearly not positively disposed toward this project, bought it for the run, read once, and filed away for nearly thirty years.

Reading it again from a much different place, it's easier to see it for what it is, which is an inter-company What If..? starring Storm. Yes, Ororo is in a Wonder Woman costume, that role being the central conceit of the tale, and there are even light overtures toward a more Amazonian take on Ororo Munroe. There's art and circumstances that associate her with Artemis of Bana-Mighdall, and Ororo's Amazon origin story lifts a key element from Donna Troy's post-Crisis "Who is Wonder Girl?" Still, regardless, this is a whole Ororo, not a combination with any other heroine, just playing out a different life trajectory. Instead of developing claustrophobia in childhood from being buried in a tunnel collapse that orphaned her, a toddler Ororo with fewer identifiers fears drowning after her parents are lost in a shipwreck. Instead of surviving through theft on the streets of Cairo, Ororo is rescued from the depths by Her Majesty Hippolyta, who raises Ororo as an adoptive daughter along with her child by divine creation, Diana. Always a rebel, and freed from our continuity's obligations to the matriarchy by an adoptive sibling eager to prove herself to their mother, Diana goes her own way while Ororo takes on the role of Wonder Woman.

An aside: While racial diversity wasn't a thing on Paradise Island before the 1970s, they have appropriately and legitimately been a "color-blind" society since the 1980s. In the Post-Crisis reboot, there were just always Amazons derived from the souls of women from across world culture. When Nubia was introduced, she was a secret second infant sculpted from clay by the Queen at the instruction of Greek Goddesses that was spirited away by their enemy Mars after being given life. When Nubia was rebooted, she was just a normal Amazon from an obscure and isolated tribe. After George Pérez created the African General Philippus as Hippolyta's military leader and most trusted council, there was a broadly accepted subtext (since made text?) within Wonder Woman fandom that they were also domestic partners. I had to pick this up from letter columns and such, because while there were moments of intimacy between Hippolyta and Philippus, I have never once detected any maternal relationship with Diana. The original conception of Nubia predated Philippus by fourteen years, with only a handful of appearances, and the heavily revised Nubia came nearly thirteen years after Philippus' introduction. It makes sense that there would be no further connection between Philippus and Nubia beyond their African ancestry. Amazon proposes that Ororo was raised in Hippolyta's household, but with no indication that Philippus played a role more substantial than the general "it takes a village" Themysciran vibe. I just find it extremely odd that in continuities where there are little to no children on Themyscira besides Diana, that Hippolyta would be the exclusive mother on that island to seemingly any other children that did turn up, with even her life partner uninvolved.

I haven't talked much about the story so far, but I feel a license to keep taking these tangents (but not Tangent™) because there isn't much to it. The narrative is non-linear, driven by constant flashbacks to different but relevant points in Ororo's history, plus a subplot moment to play into a non-existent ongoing shared universe element. If you set aside those conceits, it's a very simple tale. A Black male professor named Malcolm (eyeroll) located an ancient statuette while scuba diving in ruins uncovered by an earthquake. The statue was part of the treasury of Poseidon, who cursed Malcolm for "stealing" his property. Plagued by misfortune, Malcolm finally decided that he had to return the statuette to the seas where he found it. That also brought him back into the domain of Poseidon, who could directly punish Malcolm by sinking his ship, drowning hundreds of other people like the Munroes. Ororo as Wonder Woman is similarly accused by Poseidon and briefly held captive, but points out that the Greek Gods' pettiness and possessiveness had caused them to kill anyone that could have kept them relevant in modern times, thus winnowing away the power they once held through believers. It's the exact same resolution as Diana's first encounter with Ares in the initial arc of the Wonder Woman volume that Byrne had been working on.

The flashbacks help explore Ororo's altered history and contentious relationship with Diana, and the abortive "subplots" feature (underdeveloped, forgotten) characters that Byrne was using in his actual Wonder Woman run. I wasn't particularly moved one way or the other by either of my readings of this comic. It wasn't interested enough in Wonder Woman lore to explore the effects Amalgam could have had on it, instead rehashing simple origin elements. "Family History" was a disposable "imaginary story" where a Marvel character goes through the broad motions of a DC character's narrative. I noted that Byrne was still trying to add Image Comics touches to his art, particularly from Todd McFarlane's style, and that inker Terry Austin helped him in trying to reach that hyper-rendered state, while still falling far short of their more famous pairing (as well as Austin's work over Arthur Adams.) As I work to divest myself of comics that I don't need to possess unto my demise, this was an easy pitch into the discard pile.

Wonder Woman in The Amalgam Age of Comics: The DC Comics Collection (1996)

Short history lesson. The modern comic book industry peaked in 1992, the bubble burst in the spring of '93, and a precipitous decline followed year after year throughout the rest of the decade. Desperate to stop the bleeding, the Big Two North American super-hero comics publishers set aside their differences to unite against this threat to their market. This massive cooperative also happened during a brief period when both companies were being run by fans/creators who could set their egos and rivalries aside to make true a lifelong dream, spearheaded by former co-workers Mike Carlin at DC and Mark Gruenwald at Marvel (probably the latter's last great accomplishment in the field before his untimely death at just 43 years old.)

DC Versus Marvel #1 launched a four issue mini-series in December of 1995, in which two cosmic "brothers" representing the individual publishers' universes become aware of each other, and engage in a proxy war between the super-humans of their respective continuums in an existential conflict. As I recall, there were a total of 10 decisive matches, 5 determined in-house, and 5 voted on by readers. Marvel predictably won, but rather than let the DC Universe "die," three entities within the story worked to merge the two universes into an amalgamated one to "save" both. For one week across twelve one-shot titles, as well as a tie-in card set (two if you count 1995's Fleer DC vs. Marvel Comics,) this (more) fabricated single universe of Amalgam Comics was documented. The seeds were also planted for a means to divide the universes again, and to reach a stalemate between the cosmic "brothers" to allow for continued publication of the lines. There were two additional total universe crossover mini-series, a second slate of one-off Amalgam Comics, and a bunch of isolated inter-company crossovers. Then corporatism and aggressively competitive choads took over the individual companies around the turn of the century, and we waited another couple of decades to get Marvel and DC talking about this sort of thing again.

In another sign that this was as much about unleashing the inner child of the participants as it was corporate synergy, Wonder Woman managed to score two titles in the initial Amalgam Comics wave. In the imaginary history of Amalgam Comics, the property had "54 years of continuous publication", which would mean 1942 at the time. That aligns with the real world release of Sensation Comics, which appears to be Astounding Comics in the Amalgam Comics continuity. Things get quite muddy from there though, as the heroines of the two titles seem too Modern Age inclined to support over a half-century of continuity. I'd guess that the event reflects a new continuity that spun out of a more recent rebooting event, such as Secret Crisis of the Infinity Hour.

What we do know is that Ororo was introduced in 1975's Giant-Size Tales of the Amazons #1, having been rescued from drowning by Queen Hippolyte as an orphaned toddler. From there, the related ongoing series offered bifurcated 12-page stories of Princess Diana of Themyscira and her now-adopted sister Ororo. Diana saw Ororo as an interloper and a non-Amazon outsider whom she fought with throughout childhood (at least from Ororo's perspective, in her first-ever spin-off solo series.) Eventually, a contest was organized to determine which of the Amazons would serve as an ambassador to Man's World. However, Diana refused to follow her mother's rules, and left her island home to explore "Man's World." This took her first to Wakanda, whose ruler Bronze Tiger gifted her Adamantium bracelets from his country's exclusive supply of the unbreakable metal. Also armed with a mystical bow, the Princess ended up in New York City, where she became Diana Prince, Freelance. That seemed to frequently be shortened to just "Prince." She eventually made the acquaintance of the Spider-Boy antagonist sometimes called The Punisher. Marine Captain Trevor "Castle" Castiglione was on leave when his wife and children were murdered by gangsters right in front of him. Going AWOL, Castle sought murderous revenge against the mob, at least until he met Prince during a mutual encounter with the Pelt Man. "Doomed by an ancient ritual to change into the form of a blood-thirsty cheetah, Billy Minerva now takes out his bestial anger on beautiful people- clawing their faces to scar them as horribly as he's been scarred!" Prince and Castle became an item, married, conceived a son (Ryan,) separated, and reunited after their child disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

Ororo won the initial contest, and claimed the title of Wonder Woman. She seemed to prefer working solo, refusing overtures from male-led super-teams, presumably a bias from her Amazonian upbringing. I could go a lot deeper into her origin story, especially because wires got crossed and we ended up with numerous cards drawn by Stuart Immonen devoted to her connection to Poseidon (including an especially ridiculous solo card.) However, that's also the focus of Amazon #1, so we'll save those details for later. Following the cancellation of Tales of the Amazons, "Amalgam Comics finally gave the fans what they wanted- the Amazon brawl of the century, where it was plain to see that Ororo's mutant weather-manipulation and Diana Prince's god-given abilities made them perfectly matched combatants." This coming from the text of the 1996 SkyBox Amalgam Classics Power Blast limited edition foil-etched trading card #6 of 9. The image purported to be the cover of Amazons: The Contest #1, dated "June, 1995," and is the Steven Butler image presented in the scan from the Amalgam Age of Comics TPB. Unusually, this was an homage to a cover produced by Mike Deodato Jr. exclusively for the trade paperback collection Wonder Woman: The Contest, rather than a regular comic. Anyway, that card text indicated some sort of draw, but the fake letters to Amazon #1 stated that Ororo was the definitive winner, as was the case in DC Versus Marvel.

The four issues of Amazons: The Contest also featured the teaming of longtime villains Professor Psycho, Panthera, Circe, and Giganta. Wikipedia supposes that they combined Doctor Psycho/Professor Power, Pantha/Feral, Circe/Sersi, and Giganta/Gargantua, while sourcing the obscure and dated internet reference site The Appendix to the Handbook of the Marvel Universe. I strongly question the validity of this citation and its presumptions. For instance, the Pelt Man is pretty clearly Cheetah + Jigsaw, as referenced on Amalgam card #50 (art by Yancy Labat.) Bruce Wayne: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. was apparently key to the resolution of the mini-series.

As mentioned, some of this information was conveyed through mock letters columns that ran through most of the one-shots, including Amazon #1. I couldn't find my copy of Bullets and Bracelets #1 in my shelved comics under the letter "B" or in the Wonder Woman section, in my uncollecting short boxes on top of the shelves, or in the Wonder Woman boxes at the bottom of my closet that were covered in stacks of still-packaged toys that I had to displace throughout the room. The things I do for you people, or more accurately, my obsessive tendencies. There wasn't a letter column for Bullets and Bracelets scanned online, and I don't own The Amalgam Age of Comics: The Marvel Comics Collection, so hopefully that was one of the ones that got skipped during initial publication. Also, I don't have any other ancillary material that might have been in that trade paperback, which is why I'm relying on the trading cards. What is nice though is seeing the card art mostly unmolested in the tpb reproduction, like Butler's details unobscured by a gimmick, or joining two-card images into a smooth whole.

The Cheetah Unleashed: Barbara Minerva in the Post-Crisis DC Universe

Episode #19

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Frank returns after a year's sabbatical to find... most of the other Amazing Amazon comics podcasters have podfaded and the movie sequel pushed back seven months to 2020? Perhaps now more than ever, the world is waiting for a Barbara Minerva / The Cheetah III podcast! This episode covers nearly every Cheetah story from 1986-2011, from her debut to her origin and overall career prior to the New 52 reboot! Included is Underworld Unleashed, a well regarded event mini-series from 1995, which a group of bloggers/podcasters join us in exploring for a crossover all our own!

Underworld Unleashed #BestEventEver

• Cosmic Treadmill ep. 109 - Underworld Unleashed #1 (1995)
• Being Carter Hall presents Shadow-Thief by John Van Fleet
• Justice’s First Dawn Podcast - Extreme Justice 10 and 11
• JusticeTrek: The Podcast covers Justice League America #105 -- the Killer Elite!, R.E.B.E.L.S. '95 #13 -- Earthbound! & Justice League America #106
• Pop-Culture Palace covers The Ray #18: Monsters and The Ray #19
• I'm The Gun! presents Starman #13/Showcase '95 #12 and Underworld Unleashed #2
• The ’90s Revisited by Walt: Green Lantern #68 and Batman #525 and Superman the Man of Tomorrow #3 and Green Lantern #69 and Superboy #22 and Robin #23
• Resurrections-An Adam Warlock and Thanos Podcast offers Abyss: Hell’s Sentinel
• Relatively Geeky Presents brief looks at 27 of the Underworld Unleashed issues
• Between the Pages with a look at the "DC Villains: Dark Judgment" trading card set
• The Idol-Head of Diabolu presents Martian Manhunter vs. Neron & The Underworld

We don't have a Magic Sphere, so if you want to communicate with us about the podcast...

• Tweet host Diabolu Frank directly, or commune with @rolledspine as a group.
• Email Diabolu
• If the main Diana Prince as the New Wonder Woman blog isn't your thing, try the umbrella Rolled Spine Podcasts.

Martian Manhunter @

“Wonder Girl's Mystery Suitor!” (July, 2000)

On a shore of Paradise Island, Queen Hippolyta looked on as her teenage daughter Diana used her Amazon bracelets to deflect lightning bolts during a rainstorm. Aphrodite appeared in the heavens to condemn this frivolous use of the pantheon's gifts, and ordered Diana to find an appropriate suitor by sundown to prove herself worthy of the Goddess of Love's continued patronage. Diana was swiftly propositioned by her Silver Age beaus Mer-Boy and Bird-Boy, but she only had eyes for a beautiful new arrival, Centaur-Boy. This suitor demonstrated great powers, but was also terribly conceited, only wishing to talk about himself. Though she struggled with her desire for him, Diana ultimately lassoed him to demand the truth. "Your beauty is only skin deep, Centaur-- and I could never love anyone whose flaws outweighed his charm! You're part of Aphrodite's test, aren't you?"

And so it went that Centaur-Boy was a mere illusion, and Aphrodite congratulated Diana's passing the true test to gauge her understanding of "the value of the love that powers you... No matter what the threat, you must always be true to your heart-- and never give it to one unworthy!" Centaur-Boy vanished, leaving Wonder Girl to contemplate whether she would someday choose between Mer-Boy and Bird-Boy.

“Wonder Girl's Mystery Suitor!” was a short back-up story in Silver Age 80-Page Giant #1 by Mark Waid & Ty Templeton

Whom Gods Destroy featuring Chris Claremont

Episode #16

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This episode, we look at a pair of the very few Elseworlds out-of-continuity "imaginary stories" with Wonder Woman as a billed star. First we adapt previous coverage of 2003's The Blue Amazon one-shot special by Randy & Jean-Marc Lofficier with art by Ted McKeever. The core of the episode is a fresh look at 1996's Superman/Wonder Woman: Whom Gods Destroy prestige format 4-issue mini-series by Chris Claremont, Dusty Abell and Drew Geraci. As a special bonus, coverage includes excerpts from a 2016 interview with the writer discussing this project.

This episode's non-paying advertiser:

• Satin Tights: A Wonder Woman Podcast, covering the 1970s TV shows.

We don't have a Magic Sphere, so if you want to communicate with us about the podcast...

• Tweet host Diabolu Frank directly, or commune with @rolledspine as a group.
• Email Diabolu
• If the main Diana Prince as the New Wonder Woman blog isn't your thing, try the umbrella Rolled Spine Podcasts.

Spirit of Truth & Justice (2001-2007)

Episode #14

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JLMay 2017-- The Justice maxi-series Podcast Crossover Event is over, but Frank offers a bitter little pill of an epilogue as he discusses Alex Ross' Wonder Woman work in Kingdom Come along with synopses of Wonder Woman: Spirit of Truth (2001) and Justice (2005-2007).

From here follow JLMay 2017 to these fantastic podcasts! Each will cover a different issue of JUSTICE and each will come out in May! And don’t forget to use the hashtag #JLMay when discussing on social media!

1. Aquaman and Firestorm: The Fire and Water Podcast ep. 193
   
2. Super Mates 70: The Husband & Wife Geekcast!
   
3. The Idol Head of Diabolu: A Martian Manhunter Podcast #30
4. Views from the Longbox Episode 263: A somewhat regular podcast about comic books.
5. Pulp 2 Pixel Podcast: Secret Sagas of the Multiverse #26
6. The LanternCast Episode #279: The Foremost Green Lantern Podcast on the Internet!
7. Shazamcast: Earth's Mightiest Captain Marvel Podcast
8. Comic Reflections (Weekly Discussion of Gold, Silver, and Bronze age Comics)
9. Silver and Gold 28: The Booster Gold and Captain Atom Podcast
10. The Power of Fishnets 22: The Black Canary and Zatanna Podcast
11. Waiting for Doom (The Doom Patrol Podcast) Episode 95
12. Justice’s First Dawn: A Classic Justice League of America Podcast

This episode's non-paying advertisers:

• Trekker Talk A fan podcast devoted to the adventures of 23rd century bounty hunter Mercy St. Clair from the pages of Trekker comics by creator, writter, and artist Ron Randall
• Coffee & Comics Podcast with Caffeinated Clinton Robison

We don't have a Magic Sphere, so if you want to communicate with us about the podcast...

• Tweet host Diabolu Frank directly, or commune with @rolledspine as a group.
• Email Diabolu
• If the main Diana Prince as the New Wonder Woman blog isn't your thing, try the umbrella Rolled Spine Podcasts.

Podcast: Justice League Action upon The Transconsciousness Articulator

Episode #11

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This time we revisit the Joe Kelly/ChrisCross issues of JLA #s 83 (September, 2003) and 90 (January, 2004) covering fantasy stories involving the World's Finest Trinity versus George Bush President Lex Luthor, as well as Diana and Bruce considering the possibility of a romantic relationship. It's supposed to be a Martian device facilitating this, but it sure sounds like more of a Paradise Island or Kryptonian sort of thing. Then, Frank dishes on the first ten episodes of the new Cartoon Network show Justice League Action. Finally, your comments are addressed, plus we run promos for Justice League Universe Podcast, The All-Star Comics Review Podcast, and the latest podcast about Wonder Woman, Lasso of Truth (not to be confused with the long running non-Amazonian podcast of nearly the same name.)

We don't have a Magic Sphere, so if you want to communicate with us about the podcast...

• Tweet host Diabolu Frank directly, or commune with @rolledspine as a group.
• Email Diabolu
• If the main Diana Prince as the New Wonder Woman blog isn't your thing, try the umbrella Rolled Spine Podcasts.

Wonder Woman and the Star Riders Kellogg's Cinnamon Mini Buns Mini-Comic (1993)

"East of the sun and west of the moon lies a magical place, home to five beautiful heroines, who have sworn to protect Earth... Wonder Woman, Amazon Princess! Ice, ruler of the frozen north! Starlily, gentle champion whose touch makes deserts bloom! Dolphin, denizen of the deep blue seas! Solara, child of the blazing sun!"

Princess Diana ordered the Star Riders to convene at their council room to discuss Purrsia the Sorceress' theft of magic jewels that "protect the sun, air, ice, and plants!" Earth was descending into eco-chaos, except the seas, as that jewel remained well hidden. However, Purrsia was spying on the meeting with her crystal ball and her dark pet Panthera. "When my collection of magic gems is complete, the Star Riders will recognize their true leader-- not that spineless Wonder Woman, with her ancient codes of justice! I will be the true protector of the Earth! The queen of the universe!"



Purrsia rode her flying jaguar to the Star Riders' lair, and using her magical mask, located Dolphin's gem in her vanity drawer. Dolphin sensed the theft, and rushed to her gem. A slumber gem took out the "sisterhood of saps," all except Dolphin, who shielded herself in a bubble and continued pursuit.

Dolphin took her white Pegasus "Cloudancer" to a land already ravaged by Purrsia wicked misuse of the gems, but was soon captured in a net by the sorceress. However, the other Star Riders were fast behind. While Purrsia blasted Ice with purple energy from one of her gems, Solara tried to make her "see the light" with rays of her own. Wonder Woman rescued Ice and let loose a cat pun while Purrsia continued to hurl invective against the Star Riders. "This battle will determine who is right and who is left... and that will be me!" Despite this proclamation, Panthera was frightened by an illusion of a larger cat projected from Wonder Woman's wand, and its mistress was arrested.



Bound by the Lasso of Truth, Purrsia expressed remorse and a desire to join the Riders, but Diana placed the condition of fixing the damage she had done first. While the Star Riders used their gems to fix the Earth, Purrsia used hers to manifest a thunderstorm, re-appropriate Solara's gem and escape. Starlily cursed, "She purred her way into our home, then betrayed our trust!" Purrsia was bound to retake the gems in the future, but Wonder Woman was equally fervent to not only stop her, but to someday redeem Purrsia.

For more on Mattel's aborted Wonder Woman and the Star Riders toy line/cartoon/comics, look no further.

JLA Classified: Cold Steel #2 (2006)

The JLA mechs briefly engaged the Voruk warships in outer space, before flying down to Penumbra, where the Voruk lacked shielding to follow. Only armed scouts could handle the "Infinity Coil," so they were sent in, while Mhak-Lord Gordoruk ordered the creation of "our beloved God-of-Storms."

Aquaman's shields had been damaged, so his ship fell to Penumbra in a heap. Superman struggled to fly "a bloody skyscraper, here." Everyone managed. Maiko deployed from Batman's ship in a probe to repair Aquaman's shielding. Green Lantern discovered his "power ring's gone all funny," not functioning effectively. Flash noticed flying "black snakey things" floating amongst the still world. In space, the Voruk's many warships were sacrificed to create one massive craft, but not without sorrow and salutations.

J'Onn J'Onzz was concerned about the snakes. "I can't touch them telepathically. It's like there's nothing out there." They were "spooked" by fire from the Voruk scouts. Tsaru ordered the Ghoji to fall back, even their outcasts, but Maiko refused. "I won't run away, Tsaru Kar. I am not-- not afraid." She chastised, "Death without Shai-Tar's blessing? You compound your crime!" Superman protected them with his four arms and twin blades. Wonder Woman noted Maiko's bravery. Batman observed, "He's got nothing left to lose." Aquaman's shields and consciousness were brought back online.

Martian Manhunter took a hit, terrifying his young co-pilot, Gaida. Light emanated from her eyes and mouth, until her mind exploded. J'Onn melted into near nothingness before struggling to collect herself. "She went off like a bomb. I've never felt such a powerful mental attack... If I had been slower erecting a defense--" It was Wonder Woman who checked in on J'Onn, and quizzed Tsaru Kar on what had happened. "She was just a child... Her noble heart would not be restrained."



The Ghoji had long tried to telepathically probe Voruk ships, but "protective scarring" had foiled them. Using her magic lasso as a conduit and a psychic pulse from the Martian Manhunter, an "oscillation pattern" was broadcast that saw the Voruk probes rain down limply from the sky. This afforded Wonder Woman time to press the resistant Tsaru about Gaida's death.

The God-of-Storms arrived, providing plentiful distraction. Batman managed to blind it, while Aquaman penetrated the craft. Wonder Woman used her lasso to draw information from the organic behemoth to feed Aquaman. The Sea King exited his mech to swim within. Between the snakes and the behemoth, Batman, Superman and the Flash were wrecked. The Martian Manhunter soon joined Aquaman inside the God-of-Storms, investigating a hunch. "It began to dawn on me, when Gaida died, what the Ghoji's Shai-Tar really was. Not a god, but a psychic weapon. Gaida harnessed the energy of her own body to fuel a violent psychic attack. The ultimate vengeance for a powerless people." Hearing this psychic projection, Wonder Woman realized "Not so powerless, evidently. The Ghoji sacrificed themselves in the thousands, during the invasion. That's what you told us, isn't it Tsaru? And those Voruk who survived infected others of their kind." The Voruk who suffered from Shai-Tar either killed themselves or spread their painful psychic illness to their families, whom they would likely kill to save them from the agony.

Tsaru argued that the Voruk were slavers guilty of every crime she had attributed to them, and deserving of their endless torment. Aquaman and Martian Manhunter began healing the race, which Tsaru saw as unchaining a beast from the glorious bounds of her goddess. "One more mention of Shai-Tar, or the barbarism of the outsiders, and I swear to you, Tsaru-Kar-- I'll wind you in Hestia's cord, and show you what you really are. It wouldn't match the agony you inflict on your victims, but I warrant it would be enough to drive you mad... Trust me. Not one more word."

The Infinity Coil collapsed, and all hell broke loose. It was revealed that it had been a gate, but instead of connecting two points in space, it looped one back on itself, causing a compression in time. Too long destabilized, it was now rending reality. The snakes were shadow anomalies, and the best hope was to redirect the gate. It would require "a stardrive of massive proportions," and Aquaman pointed out, "We're swimming in it." The God-of-Storms had existed in some form for nearly nine hundred years, so Tsaru Kar had to telepathically convince it to sacrifice itself, against Wonder Woman's protestations. "Shai-Tar is the only way. The Ghoji god and the Voruk god. Together they will cast down the shadows." Mhak-Lord Gordoruk refused to abandon ship, and would pilot the God-of-Storms to its death alongside Tsaru Kar.

The mechs still standing looked on as the deaths of gods ended the threat of annihilation. Wonder Woman ripped open her hatch. Martian Manhunter passed through his. Heroes and survivors looked out at the new dawn, while a bird sang.

"Chapter Two: The Sleeping World" was by writer/painter Chris Moeller

JLA Classified: Cold Steel #1 (2005)

One alien spaceship was pursued by another on the surface of Earth's moon. Genshi Mian, a white-skinned alien in armor, figured he and his partner were doomed. Tsaru Kar, the pilot, wished he would "Show some dignity." They were pursued by the Voruk, amphibians who resembled various terrestrial sea life like manta rays and large piranha. "Go on, you mud-sucking minnow. Twist all you want..." Laser fire clipped the JLA Watchtower, as Superman and the Martian Manhunter worked outside. Short work was made of the aggressors' bio-engineered craft, so they retreated. The two pale aliens were brought into the Watchtower to assess for harm. Both breathed in the same environment as humans, but their slender bodies had to remain in armor to tolerate even the moon's gravity.

The Martian Manhunter detected telepathy at play, as the aliens scanned the heroes' minds to learn their language. Tsaru fretted for her companion, but upon learning that he was alright, introduced herself. "My companion and I represent the Ghoji-in-exile." Tsaru did not believe in asking for help, but Councilman Genshi Mian had insisted, initially hoping to contact the defunct Green Lantern Corps. Instead, they explained how their peaceful but resolute Ghoji had refused to be enslaved by the Voruk, "the water-breathing filth that wrecked my cruiser." The Ghoji saw themselves as a peaceful, civilized people who neither made war nor were willing to submit to oppression. Despite torture and widespread destruction, "the Voruk got no labor out of us." After three years, the Voruk gave up, and instead deployed an "Infinity Coil" that basically put everyone to sleep for the last twenty years.

The Justice League debated whether they should get involved, and there were some questions about the aliens' veracity. The Martian Manhunter offered, "If you doubt my ability to detect deception in her, there's always Wonder Woman."

Pricess Diana approached Genshi Mian, and asked after his well being. "How do I feel? I found you, Wonder Woman, when I had all but given up hope. You will help us, won't you? You must!"
"Tsaru spoke eloquently on your behalf."
"I must trust to Shai-Tar. She cannot have guided us here to no purpose."

Wonder Woman wondered how the Ghoji could survive on a world whose gravitational field supported oceans, and Tsaru Kar explained that they were not native to Penumbra. "We were starfarers. Refugees. Over countless generations of wandering, we adapted to our weightless environment. Penumbra, hidden deep inside a nebula, was to have been our sanctuary. Our 'Paradise Island.'"

Tsaru Kar hoped she hadn't offended Wonder Woman by reading her mind again, but she was intrigued by her inherent contradictions. "Human, yet not human. A warrior who hates warfare. Your companions are beneath consideration. Simple, brawling savages. But I must say I find you... interesting. Almost like one of my own people."

"You underestimate my friends, Tsaru." Kar agreed that this was perhaps so, and to allow the Lasso of Truth to be used on her. "Without the ability to weave minds, I expect you must be cautious."



The JLA decided to make the trip by "gating" via a wormhole-type time/space structure. Above Penumbra, they saw a world trapped in stillness by the Infinity Coil. Aboard a Voruk craft, scientists warned Mhak-Lord Gordoruk that the coil was threatening a dimensional implosion, with no means of containing a collapse of reality if it device continued operation. Mhak-Lord Gordoruk literally bit the scientist's head off, demanding a fix. He had also continued patrols around Penumbra, and the JLA were soon under attack by a gunship. Wrapped in the emerald energy of Green Lantern, Wonder Woman flew through space to fend off lasers, until the ship could be routed.

The group arrived at a hidden refuge, where they were greeted by the sight of torture survivors who had been dropped into water to have their lower extremities gnawed off by the Voruk. Tsaru Kar insisted "Most victims died instantly, as was proper. These cowards chose to live with their injuries." Batman was silently revolted, as he watched the survivors walk on their hands with braces over their arms and chests.

Superman and Martian Manhunter discussed the effect of the Infinity Coil and how to deal with it. Aquaman confided his distrust of Tsaru Kar to Wonder Woman. "It's nothing I can put my finger on, Diana. Tsaru's attitude, maybe. Praising death as glorious-- then sneering at survivors as if they were morally defective. There's something sick about that." Diana had noted Batman's reaction, while the Dark Knight had snuck off to visit their topic of discussion: First the amputee Maiko, then Tsaru, who had followed him to the camp.

Councilman Genshi Mian mentioned the shield technology that protected their haven from the Infinity Coil, which allowed the JLA to develop a means of using same to permanently address the problem. Giant mostly humanoid mechanized vehicles were outfitted with shield protection, and each was customized to reflect the strengths of their individual JLA pilots. "The wire guidance system in Wonder Woman's missile launcher doubles as a delivery system for her magical lasso. Since Voruk vehicles are bioengineered, a direct hit should allow her access to the target's memory matrix. Each of us will be accompanied by a Ghoji technician, to provide information and damage control support."

Tsaru Kar objected. "My people are philosophers... artists... not axe-wielding savages!" Still, "I'll go with Wonder Woman, if she's willing. I'll show... how an honorable Ghoji conducts herself."

Counsellor Tarngiri had tried to warn Mhak-Lord Gordoruk that the Ghoji might have hired mercenaries, but he couldn't believe the "skinnies" would fight back or mingle with other species. Tarngiri had a number of issues with his people's leadership, and as they prepared to descend on Penumbra en masse, he wondered if this was his last chance to extend reason...

"Chapter One: The Hidden World" was by writer/painter Chris Moeller

Bizarro Comics: "Wonder Girl vs. Wonder Tot" (2001)

Wonder Girl, with a yawn, was flying at the crack of dawn toward Paradise Island. She spotted Wonder Tot making the same trip up ahead of her. Both were on their way to breakfast with Diana, but there was only one seat available next to her, and it was Tot's turn.
"It depends."
"On what?"
"On who gets there first!"

A red-faced Wonder Tot pursued Wonder Girl, who couldn't resist a premature victory lap, affording Tot the advantage. Wonder Girl caught up, but the force of their flight began knocking over pillars and generally wrecking havoc. Wonder Girl finally gave in, proclaiming Tot the fastest, but the little kid couldn't stop herself from speeding toward the ground. Wonder Girl managed to catch her by the ankle at the last second. After the race, all of the Amazons were sore, so both girls were placed on serving detail before receiving their own breakfast.

I wasn't won over by this story from Andi Watson and Mark Crilley. The art was nice enough, as was the coloring by Lee Loughridge, but it was mostly just a bunch of silent panels without any comedic punch. Also, the nerd in me must point out that neither character could fly in the source comics so much as glide on wind currents, plus at least one if not both of them were younger versions of Diana herself, so what was the big deal?


ElseWednesday

• DC/WS DreamWar #5 (October, 2008) @ DC Bloodlines
• 2001 "Bizarro X-Ray Two" by John Kerschbaum @ The Idol-Head of Diabolu
• Bizarro Comics: Aquaman in "Silence of the Fishes" (2001) @ Justice League Detroit
• Captain Atom: Armageddon #7 (June, 2006) @ Power of the Atom

Wonder Woman: The Blue Amazon (2003)

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Wonder Woman Annual #5 (1996)

EARTH IS DEAD.

Those who once might have called it home are long scattered to the endless stars.

But in that scattering, on a thousand different worlds, by a thousand different ways... Earth's greatest legends live on.
LEGENDS OF THE
DEAD EARTH

A giant starship coasted through space. From a distance, it might appear majestic, but within and without it was well worn by untold time. Strange creatures eked out an existence aboard the craft-- winged sharks, giant spiders, all of some shared ancestry.

AlyXa appeared to be human as we know it. Aside from black markings about her eyes, she could be mistaken for an eighteen year old woman playing Pocahontas. At six foot and 120 pounds, she was quite the prize of her tribe. Her intelligence, curiosity and bravery were less heralded, as they had sent her to explore unfamiliar parts of the ship (though the Unremembered had no conception of the craft they existed within.) AlyXa was now lost and hunted by ratbats and other beasts, their long tongues pursuing her even into a narrow ductway. AlyXa made her escape, and was surprised to see her reflection in statues she found-- in fact the helmets of spacesuits.

The Unremembered were the last human race anyone was aware of, and they lived a savage life of subsistence. Speaking only in clicking sounds, their men were hunters who resented the women workers for continuing to produce resource draining offspring. Clearly the women did this out of carelessness and spite, with the blameless men deserving their elevated position in the hierarchy.

ValXan knew AlyXa wasn't some petty creature like other women, and led a party in search of his runaway bride. KarXyn got slapped for suggesting there were other fish in the sea, while CatXon held his tongue about his own more progress views of the fairer sex. The party was set upon by ratbats, whom they killed while sustaining only minor injury.

That night, KarXyn told tales of the long ago times over a campfire, recalling variations of Superman, Hawkman, the Flash, Batman and Green Lantern. These peculiar ancestral heroes even counted females among their numbers, with takes on Wonder Woman and Catwoman depicted. Humanity's departure from its birth world to the "stars" (whatever those terms met) was recounted, as was the terrible accident aboard their vessel that sent the survivors back to the stone ages. OlXus, a wizened elder, pointed out the common ancestry between the Unremembered and the ratbats, tracing back far beyond the point of recollection.



AlyXa found an advanced laboratory, where for the first time she saw a female ratbat. The creature operated a device that sent signals into its mind powerful enough for AlyXa to pick up on some of them. AlyXa saw visions of Wonder Woman, soaring unaided through the sky, swatting bullets with bracelets, saving the sick and the needy. Wonder Woman battled evils like the Cheetah and Doomsday. It was incredible to behold. After the ratbat stood up unsteadily and departed, AlyXa copied her motions to reactivate the machine. AlyXa saw herself as Wonder Woman, "amazed to find herself accepted as an equal by the men whose power she rivals and exceeds!" To the left of Wonder AlyXa was Superman, and Martian Manhunter was on the right, which was surely intentional.

AlyXa's vision continued, offering a history of ratbat culture, which accepted females as equals and conserved resources well enough to allow for unrestricted offspring. These were no savage beasts, but a society in many ways more advanced than that of the Unremembered. However, the search party caught portions of this psychic story in the manner AlyXa had with the ratbat, and the horrified group attempted to slaughter a ratbat village. Cornering a group of children, the murder was haulted by a ratbat female dressed in a ragged approximation of Wonder Woman's costume. The warrior female tore into the hunting party, defeating the lot before turning around and arguing to save their lives from other vengeful ratbats.

ValXan saw this as an opportunity, retrieved a spear, and pressed it against Wonder Ratbat. A sword soon pressed to ValXan breast, held by AlyXa. "This female is not our enemy, "she clicked. "None of the ratbats are!" They fought only to protect their own, and were as distant kin to the Unremembered. AlyXa made peace with a grateful Wonder Ratbat, and shamed the hunting party into recognizing the faults in her people's ways. If ever the worldship finally landed on an inhabitable planet, both species and all genders would have to share it as equals. "A world such as was prophesied by the first, true Wonder Woman."

"The Unremembered" was by John Byrne, Dave Cockrum and Norm Breyfogle. Cockrum's trademark stiffness was nicely smoothed over by Breygogle, who benefited from Dave's more fleshed out figures while offering softening embellishment. The only weird thing was that on the few pages featuring the classic Wonder Woman, the combination looked like Mike Collins, of all people.

ElseWednesday featuring Wildstorm!

• Flashpoint #2 (January, 2000) @ The Idol-Head of Diabolu
• Captain Atom: Armageddon #3 (February, 2006) @ Power of the Atom
• DC/WS DreamWar #3 (August, 2008) @ DC Bloodlines