Mysterious Art — Omen - The Story (1989)

[Crypt Keeper voice] Hello, creeps! As I'm sure you know, Halloween Season is always a special time here at Opium GLUM. And your old pal the Opium Keeper has just the twisted tale to start things off on the right foot [holds up severed foot, giggles.] It concerns a group of coked-up Germans who just couldn't get enough of the KNIFE life! [more giggling] So when they conspired to make an album of Hi-NRG bangers, they stuffed it so full of spooky samples, deadly drum machines, petrifying pianos, scary synths, and vampiric vocals -- people who heard it didn't know whether to laugh or DIE! [this one really gets me going, I absolutely laugh my fucking ass off for a full 15-20 seconds] I call this one... Omen - The Story.

Track listing:

1. In Nomine (Intro)

2. Das Omen - Teil 1

3. Requiem

4. Humunkulus (Men of Glass)

5. The Beyond

6. Carma - Omen 2

7. Fallen Angel

8. Don't Fly Too High

9. Heaven's Door

10. Requiem (Instrumental Mix)

11. Humunkulus (Dub Mix)

Look upon your life

Don't cover up the things you've done

Were they always good

Or did you perish for the evil one?

GORE like this:

Easy Going - Fear (1979)

Zombie Zombie - A Land for Renegades (2008)

France Joli - France Joli (1979)

Heavenly disco from French-Canadian singer France Joli. Four long, slow-building tracks whose immaculate, detail-heavy production is just as conducive to headphone listening as it is to shaking your fat ass.

Track listing:
1. Come to Me
2. Let Go
3. Don't Stop Dancing
4. Playboy

The only one you love

You'd also like:

The Players' Association -
The Players' Association (1977)

Adrian Gurvitz -
Sweet Vendetta (1979)

Taana Gardner - Taana Gardner (1979)

Sultry, hella-groovy disco. Gardner's a gifted, emotive vocalist, and her higher-register voice occasionally suggests what it might sound like if Kate Bush made a disco record. If the opening groove on "When You Touch Me" hasn't been sampled for a rap song, folks are seriously dropping the ball.

Track listing:
1. When You Touch Me
2. We Got to Work It Out
3. Just Be a Friend
4. Paradise Express
5. Work That Body

Ain't nothing above it
Oh, how I love it

Also listen to:

THP -
THP #2: Tender Is the Night (1978)

Musique -
Musique II (1979)

Overweight Pooch - Female Preacher (1991)

Old-school 90s hip-hop gold from a virtual unknown. My older brother was one of the many suburban white kids who got into rap via Vanilla Ice, and given his complete lack of knowledge of the form, he mostly ended up with a bunch of random cassingles, of which "Ace Is a Spade" was one of my favorites. (I was like 8 at the time, so my main takeaway was that her name was hilarious.) Some subtly subversive stuff for sure -- see "Who's Pimping Who" -- but nothing heady or serious enough to get in the way of the party.

Track listing:
1. Feeling Good
2. Ace Is a Spade
3. Boogie-In
4. Pooch's Pimpin' Playhouse / Who's Pimping Who
5. Kickin' da Blues
6. I Like It
7. Female Preacher
8. The Overweight Jam
9. Queen of Rap
10. Hip House Party
11. Chat Trax

I don't think they have a clue

You should also listen to:

Luscious Jackson -
In Search of Manny (1992)

Kokane -
Funk upon a Rhyme (1994)

Andrew W.K. - Party Til You Puke (2000)

So the other day Stereogum posted an article about the AWK conspiracy theories that've been hanging around since early in his career, which I'm not even gonna try to summarize here. At first, I was annoyed because a) it's been beat into the ground already and b) Andrew WK makes beautiful, perfect music that doesn't need to get muddied up by rumors based on what, if AWK were to be believed, amounts to a business partnership gone sour. However, the article isn't just a remarkably comprehensive analysis of said controversies, but actually functions as a complete re-evaluation of his work that aligns him with visionaries and reality-benders like Andy Kaufman and David Lynch.

Beyond all of that, though, it was a relief to see that I'm not the only fucking person in the world who noticed how fucking weird and dark a lot of his lyrics are. Take "I Love NYC" off of I Get Wet, for instance: while the meaning of lyrics such as "We are your mother-father/We are your fighter friend/You can't stop what you can't end" is anyone's guess, it is clear that "I Love NYC" is not, in fact, about loving NYC.

"Party 'Til You Puke" is another great example: what exactly do the lyrics "We dent/We dope/We choke/We gun/We kill/We stab/We rob/We steal" have to do with partying, exactly? Ponder this as you listen to the Party Til You Puke EP, which finds a young AWK presenting a raw, blown-out, but more-or-less fully-formed version of his id-driven insanity. It's way meatier than the below track listing might seem to suggest. And please, read the above-linked article, it blew my goddamn mind.

Track listing:
1. Party Til You Puke
2. Party Til You Puke (Remix)
3. Party Til You Puke (Shout Out Mix)
4. Dance Party (Anti Never Ending Music Mix)
5. I Want to Kill (Built It Up Mix)
6. Old Man [Couch cover]

We're not gonna die, and you can never kill us
We're not gonna die, and you can never hurt us

Pépé Bradock & The Grand Brûlé's Choir - Burning (1999)

A perfect EP of red-hot deep house from Parisian producer Julien Auger, aka Pépé Bradock. 21 minutes of pure exhilaration.

Track listing:
1. Burning Hot
2. The Right Way
3. Deep Burnt

This not my shit, but this is somebody's shit who I respect

Also listen to:

Moodymann -
Silentintroduction (1997)

Andrés -
Andrés (2003)

Gino Soccio - Outline (1979)

Slick, synthpop-infused disco from Canadian-Italian producer Gino Soccio. Since there can be no question as to whether or not Outline is of the highest quality, the mind wanders to larger questions, such as: can an artist be considered Italo-disco based on heritage alone, or do they have to live or have lived in Italy?

Track listing:
1. Dancer
2. So Lonely
3. The Visitors
4. Dance to Dance
5. There's a Woman

Hold tight

If you like this, listen to:

THP -
THP #2: Tender Is the Night (1978)

Changes -
The Glow of Love (1980)

Light Asylum - Light Asylum (2012)

80s-indebted, electro-dance-fueled darkwave. Since it may not be immediately obvious, I'd like to point out that those incredible vocals are indeed provided by a woman -- who, incidentally, I spotted while leaving a Lebanese restaurant yesterday, thereby reigniting my interest in this amazing project. "A Certain Person" is one of my favorite songs of the decade thus far.

Track listing:
1. Hour Fortress
2. Pope Will Roll
3. IPC
4. Heart of Dust
5. Sins of the Flesh
6. Angel Tongue
7. Shallow Tears
8. At Will
9. End of Days
10. A Certain Person

Burn it to the ground

You should also listen to:

Suicide -
A Way of Life (1988)

Adventure -
Lesser Known (2011)

THP - THP #2: Tender Is the Night (1978)

Immaculate, relentless, coked-out disco grooves courtesy of Toronto-based duo THP. Pretty much the chic, cocaine-driven equivalent of a hippy jam band.

Track listing:
1. Weekend Two-Step
2. Tender Is the Night
3. Half as Nice
4. Music Is All You Need

Watch us

Keep riding that high with:

Black Devil -
Disco Club (1978)

London Aircraaft -
Rockets (1984)

George Duke - Master of the Game (1979)

Boisterous, smooth, impossibly fun, fusion-tinged disco/funk. Master of the Game is aural cocaine that goes straight to dat ass. Rule of thumb: When fusion dudes go disco, it's a beautiful thing.

Track listing:
1. Look What You Find
2. Every Little Step I Take
3. Games
4. I Want You for Myself
5. In the Distance
6. I Love You More
7. Dog-Man
8. Everybody's Talkin'
9. The Alien

Take some chances while you still are young

If you like this, give these a spin:

Rhythm Makers -
Soul on Your Side (1976)

Kilo -
Kilo (1979)

Black Devil - Disco Club (1978)

A lost masterpiece of spooky, horror-synth-fueled disco. This record is perfect in every way, and anyone who disagrees is definitely reading the wrong blog.

Track listing:
1. "H" Friend
2. Timing, Forget the Timing
3. One to Choose
4. We Never Fly Away Again
5. Follow Me
6. No Regrets

Witching hour

You will also like:

Padded Cell -
Night Must Fall (2008)

Dan Terminus -
The Wrath of Code (2015)

RAH Band - Going Up (1983)

Airy, funky synthpop/disco from English producer/project mastermind Richard Anthony Hewson. They're all winners, but the super-smooth "Perfumed Garden (With Scented Strings)" is particularly mixtape-worthy -- goddamn I love that song. Makes me wanna get some neon tights and a perm, than do a bunch of cocaine.

Track listing:
1. Messages from the Stars
2. Roll Me Down to Rio
3. Perfumed Garden (With Scented Strings)
4. Hunger for Your Jungle Love '83
5. Same the Samba Man
6. Winter Love
7. Tears and Rain
8. Two Bodies
9. Party Games
10. Riding on a Fantasy

You must be from another galaxy

You'll also wanna hear:

Kimiko Kasai -
Butterfly (1979)

Teena Marie -
Starchild (1984)

Dan Terminus - The Wrath of Code (2015)

Hard-hitting, synth-driven electro from French producer Dan Terminus. Gotta love that feeling of listening to intense dance music while wearing slippers and sweatpants and petting a cat. The only way I can imagine actually dancing to this would be after taking molly and railing a bunch of Adderall -- which, I guess, would be how it's typically done.

Free/pay as you will via the Blood Music bandcamp, where you can find a whoooole bunch of really great stuff, all for the same deal. This is really rad of Blood Music, so please consider actually throwing some $$$ their way. Also, you can get more from Dan Terminus at his bandcamp.

Track listing:
1. Cherenkov Blue Overdriver
2. Heavy Artillery
3. Avalanche
4. Death by Distortion
5. The Chasm
6. Eternal Annihilator
7. It's Too Bad She Won't Live
8. Grim
9. Restless Destroyer
10. Pegasus Pro Ultra Fusion
11. Tuned to a Dead Channel
12. Detonation
13. The Wrath of Code (feat. Perturbator)

Without a trace

I have no doubt whatsoever that if you like this, you'll like:

Perturbator -
The Uncanny Valley (2016)

Perturbator - The Uncanny Valley (2016)

Dark, driving, electro bangers that nod to 70s/80s horror soundtracks while maintaining an undeniably current, harsh feel. Think Crystal Castles remaking the Halloween III soundtrack. Wonder how many times I'm going to have to re-file this under "electronic" after my coworkers mistakenly put it in "metal" based on the album cover. UPDATE: As of 5/20, it has happened twice. Called it.

Available for ye olde "name your price" via bandcamp.

Track listing:
1. Neo Tokyo
2. Weapons for Children
3. Death Squad
4. Femme Fatale (feat. Highway Superstar)
5. Venger (feat. Greta Link)
6. Disco Inferno
7. She Moves Like a Knife
8. Sentient (feat. Hayley Stewart)
9. Diabolus Ex Machina
10. Assault
11. The Cult of 2112
12. Souls at Zero (feat. Astronoid)
13. The Uncanny Valley

Where the hell are we, Wang?

And here's a couple of those soundtracks:

John Harrison -
Creepshow (1982)

Goblin - Patrick (1978) +
Tenebre (1982)

My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult - Confessions of a Knife... (1990)

Old school techno-industrial. Cheap beats, dissonant bass-lines, clattering keyboards, and people screaming/shouting/moaning about drugs, murder, sex, hating Jesus, etc. When I was 13, this was the coolest, most evil shit imaginable. My favorite album of theirs by a wide margin.

Track listing:
1. A Daisy Chain 4 Satan (Acid and Flowers Mix)
2. The Days of Swine and Roses
3. Hand in Hand
4. Waiting for Mommie
5. Confessions of a Kinfe (Theme Part I)
6. Ride the Mindway
7. Rivers of Blood, Years of Darkness
8. Kooler Than Jesus (Electric Messiah Mix)
9. Burning Dirt
10. Confessions of a Knife (Theme Part II)
11. Do You Fear (The Inferno Express) [Bonus]

I live for drugs
It's great

Luomo - Vocalcity (2000)

Previously on OPIUM HUM:
Vladislav Delay - Whistleblower (2007)

Luomo's debut is a classic of abstract, hypnotic deep house. Six songs, only one of which is under 12 minutes. I wish I was cool enough to actually dance to music like this, as people somehow do, but it takes duuumb, mainstream shit to make me awkwardly shuffle around a dance floor.

Track listing:
1. Market
2. Class
3. Synkro
4. The Right Wing
5. Tessio
6. She-Center

I want everything from you
I take everything from you

Was (Not Was) - Was (Not Was) (1981)

The debut LP from this awesomely weird but highly danceable art-funk ensemble. It's the kind of stuff that you might find yourself dancing your ass off to, only to become slowly conscious of the fact that they've repeated a line like "One man liked milk/Now he owns a million cows" about fifteen times. I've liked this band for as long as I can remember -- my dad used to blast it while he did housework -- and, recently, I find myself enjoying them more than ever.

Track listing:
1. Out Come the Freaks
2. Where Did Your Heart Go?
3. Tell Me That I'm Dreaming
4. Oh, Mr. Friction!
5. Carry Me Back to Old Morocco
6. It's an Attack!
7. The Sky's Ablaze
8. Go... Now!

I was choking on the fish I ate for dinner
It was good while it lasted
I should've fasted, I almost had it yesterday
A song tied up my ankles
Couldn't walk, couldn't wiggle
Until you came along
Untied the song
And let its long golden fingers grasp the wind

El Guincho - Alegranza (2008) + Pop Negro (2010)

Two undeniable albums of sample-heavy Spanish dance mantras.

Track listing:
-Alegranza-
1. Palmitos Park
2. Antillas
3. Fata Morgana
4. Kalise
5. Cuando Maravilla Fui
6. Buenos Matrimonios Ahi Afuera
7. Costa Paraiso
8. Prez Lagarto
9. Polca Mazurca
-Pop Negro-
1. Bombay
2. Novias
3. Ghetto Facil
4. Soca Del Eclipse
5. Lycra Mistral
6. FM Tan Sexy
7. Muerte Midi
8. (Chica-Oh) Drims
9. Danza Invinto

Pleasure