Today I’m looking at a pair of crime movies adapted from books by two of my favorite authors. I almost said “recent crime movies” because you know how time is, but it turns out one is more than five years old and the other is more than ten. It’s just that I put them off forever because I was afraid I was going to hate them. It turns out they’re both pretty well made movies, but yeah, I don’t think they have the spark I’m looking for.
LIFE OF CRIME (2013) is the adaptation of Elmore Leonard’s The Switch, about the time Ordell Robbie (Yasiin Bey, 16 BLOCKS) and Louis Gara (John Hawkes, NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW) kidnapped a rich guy’s wife. These are of course the characters he later returned to in Rum Punch, which was turned into JACKIE BROWN, so this has the novelty/pressure of being a sort-of prequel to a crime movie classic from a modern master, which I think most of us agree is either the best or second best Leonard adaptation ever. Good luck, writer/director Daniel Schechter (SUPPORTING CHARACTERS) living up to that.
Obviously he didn’t knock it out of the park, or you would’ve heard about it. Though I’d say it’s more on point tonally and ‘70s-period-wise than the movie of FREAKY DEAKY, it’s overall less fun. But I guess I just like this kinda stuff enough that I found it somewhat interesting. (read the rest of this shit…)
I remember seeing I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER when it came out. I believe I enjoyed it for what it was – it had the appropriate ratio of competence to goofiness for a slick studio teen slasher sequel in the post-SCREAM era. I did not know or remember that it made less than the first film did on a bigger budget. Of course, this was 1998. They had not yet run over the home video industry, thrown it in the sea and vowed to never speak of it again, so that was where horror movies would thrive, and it at least made enough to justify a DTV sequel.
Things were different then. Horror was more disreputable, even when it was expensive and starred beautiful people from TV shows. Critics had taken to SCREAM, but of course they were gonna hate the goofily titled sequel to SCREAM’s less show-offy, more traditional cousin. But fuck ‘em. This is a solid slasher sequel. Not in the sense of “this is one of the all time great horror movies,” but in the franchise slasher sense of “we took this format and put some enjoyable spins on it and there are some cool touches and some enjoyably dumb ones so I can rewatch it every once in a while and still enjoy it.” That’s what I wanted, and this delivered. (read the rest of this shit…)
Do you like scary movies? What about SCARY MOVIE? I’m not talking about the original script title for SCREAM, or the parody movie series named after the original script title for SCREAM, but the 1991 movie starring John Hawkes and taking place on Halloween night. It was shot on 16mm in Austin and when the American Genre Film Archive released a restored blu-ray and DVD in 2019 they said it had never been “legitimately distributed” until then. I did find a reference to it playing “limited runs in Europe and Asia,” but anyway, that’s why most of us never heard of it before.
Hawkes is from Minnesota, but as a young man he moved to Austin, where he was in a couple bands (including one with Rodney “Joey from ELM STREET 3 & 4” Eastman) and started appearing in locally filmed movies like FUTURE-KILL (the one with the unrelated H.R. Giger cover), D.O.A., and a thriller called MURDER RAP where he’s the star. He’s also the lead in SCARY MOVIE, playing a fraidy cat nerd named Warren who goes with his more outgoing buddy Brad (Jason R. Waller, Austin Stories) and Brad’s girlfriend Shelley (THE BALLAD OF THE SAD CAFE) to a haunted house attraction. (read the rest of this shit…)
THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI is playwright turned IN BRUGES/SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS director Martin McDonagh’s exploration of a grieving mother at war with the local PD. Her teenage daughter was raped and killed seven months ago, and she’s mad that they haven’t made any arrests, so she rents three billboards that bluntly explain the situation and blame the police chief by name.
I probly don’t need to tell you that this creates some tension in town. Chief Willoughby (Woody Harrelson, SEVEN POUNDS, SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS, TRIPLE 9, THE EDGE OF SEVENTEEN, 2012) tries to reason with her politely about taking it down. His deputy Dixon (Sam Rockwell, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES), who is locally infamous for an unexplained incident involving the torture of a black man, is not as cool-headed about it, and threatens poor Red Welby (Caleb Landry Jones, GET OUT) at the billboard company. The woman’s son Robbie (Lucas Hedges, MANCHESTER BY THE SEA) is traumatized and hurt by the graphic details of the murder he had previously avoided knowing. Her ex-husband Charlie (John Hawkes, STEEL), a domestic abuser and a cop, is embarrassed by it and doesn’t think it helps anything. (read the rest of this shit…)
Here’s a funny thing that was different back in 1995: Bruce Campbell was so worshipped as a cult star that the idea of him being in a blockbuster movie was thrilling to people. He had done the EVIL DEAD trilogy and the MANIAC COP pictures and did a couple seasons of The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. but that didn’t really catch on in the mainstream. And he seemed like their secret but somehow they wanted everybody to know. He made it to the semi-big-ish time with little cameos in DARKMAN and THE HUDSUCKER PROXY, but people still wanted him to star in some big movie and be the next, I don’t know, Kurt Russell or somebody.
And then he was in the trailer for this new Michael Crichton movie CONGO. Had the misguided dreams of horror nerds come true at last? Would they be able to finally share their hero not just with the Johnny-come-latelies who saw ARMY OF DARKNESS before the other ones, but with the whole world?
Well, the fact that the camera zoomed in on his screaming face during the trailer seemed to indicate that he wasn’t gonna make it to the end. Still, word of disappointment spread fast when people saw the movie and discovered that he bites it in the opening scene. The whole movie is about a rescue mission to come find him, even though we got a pretty idea they’re gonna be rescuing a dead body. (They do manage to find John Hawkes still alive, but catatonic, and then he freaks out and dies.) Anyway, I mention this movie to people 20 years later, that’s still the first thing that comes up. The wound has not healed. (read the rest of this shit…)
After the election on Tuesday, which brought us 4 historic gay rights ballot victories, the first openly gay Senator and the most women in the Senate ever, it was a no-brainer to spend Friday night watching Spielberg’s movie about Abraham Lincoln and his people’s fight to eke together a coalition to pass the 13th amendment to the Constitution, ending 400 years of slavery. Also, SKYFALL was sold out. (read the rest of this shit…)
I always root for Mark Dacascos to be in something really good. I love ONLY THE STRONG, and he’s in some other fun ones, like the ridiculous CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE. I’ve watched his movie DRIVE a couple times, not the one with Ryan Gosling but the one with Mark Dacascos. And Kadeem Hardison and Britney Murphy. People used to always try to push that one on me and I never really got into it, but he’s pretty good. He’s a good martial artist. I was always curious about this little known one from 1998 ’cause it’s him starring in some kind of crime movie executive produced by Roger Avary. Could be interesting, right?
Could’ve been. Wasn’t really. But here are a few words about it for the historic record. (read the rest of this shit…)
I haven’t been big on Ridley Scott post-ALIEN, but when I saw he was doing the real-life gangster epic starring Denzel Washington – the one I already wanted to see when it was Antoine Fuqua that was supposed to direct it – man, I was excited. And the trailer looked great. And then it came out and without exception everybody I knew who saw it said “yeah, it was… pretty good.” Suddenly there was less urgency to see it, and I watched other movies, wrote some stuff, maybe took some naps, ate some food, and then it was gone.
Well, maybe it was for the best. Now I watched it with lower expectations, in its 20-minutes-longer UNRATED EXTENDED CUT (4 minutes shy of 3 hours) and I have to say I really enjoyed it. I see your “yeah, it was… pretty good” and raise you a “it was… pretty fuckin good.” I am proud to review it alongside such other great American films as AMERICAN PIMP, AMERICAN PSYCHO and AMERICAN NINJA. (read the rest of this shit…)
Here on earth there are certain individuals blessed or cursed with a special knack for observing shit, noticing shit and looking at shit in different ways than you or I would. Picking up on things other people don’t or explaining things in ways nobody else would’ve thought of. This skill, this Gift, this power, can come in many forms and be used for many different things. You could become a philosopher or a great leader, like Jesus or Martin Luther King, Jr. Alot of people, if they had it real strong, would become an artist. Andy Warhol is the obvious best example. Unfortunately, most people born with The Gift use their power for evil: standup comedy mostly. Also some of them become characters in Richard Linklater’s non-studio movies.
Miranda July, who wrote and directed and starred in this picture, apparently uses The Gift for performance art. Or video installations. Or something like that, I guess. But also for this movie. It’s one of those movies where you can tell she had a journal full of random ideas and then figured out how to string them all together. Alot of times a movie like that can be really good, because it feels so packed full of inspiration. AMELIE was a movie like that, where a million little Jeunet ideas were glued all over the top of a love story. In this one the ideas are less integrated, it’s more like a list of the ideas in movie form. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Charles on Bacurau: “Thanks Ronald, that makes sense given the nature of the film. I was curious if there was something specific about…” Dec 2, 06:59
Uncle_Imshi on Bacurau: “Fiquei tão aliviado que vc não é Bolsonarista. I should finally watch this movie” Dec 2, 04:36
Ronald Perrone on Bacurau: “Charles, the film deals with themes that are very present in Brazil’s recent reality: inequality, popular resistance, state violence, political…” Dec 2, 03:18
Max K. on Sisu: Road to Revenge: “I was completely delighted with this. Despite being a sequel, and following the formula of the first one pretty dang…” Dec 1, 21:02
Charles on Bacurau: “Ronald as an American who is a fan of this movie I am curious about the “political baggage” you mentioned…” Dec 1, 17:09
Alex R on Bacurau: “Great review of a great movie. As far as late-period Udo Kier goes, 2021’s Swan Song is a really beautiful…” Dec 1, 13:00
Charles on Bacurau: “I am glad you enjoyed this one. I have been thinking about revisiting it. I see the parallels with EDDINGTON.…” Dec 1, 12:59
Bill Reed on Off Limits: “Caught this on the tubes, and it was indeed my jam. Sweaty and sleazy with a mean streak, like the…” Dec 1, 11:53
Stu on Deathstalker (2025): “Watched it last night and I agree it was well made and a lot of fun. Really nice to see…” Dec 1, 11:18
Borg9 on Bacurau: “This was one of the last films I saw before the world shut down for the pandemic, and it’s the…” Dec 1, 09:47
Ronald Perrone on Bacurau: “Hard Target elements and Lunga’s mullet, just like Van Damme’s, that can’t be a coincidence… Great review, Vern. It’s refreshing…” Dec 1, 08:12
Bill Reed on Sisu: Road to Revenge: “The theater was abuzz, with nearly sold-out showings of Wicked and Zootopia. But I, like Korpi the Koshchei, was completely…” Dec 1, 05:59
Skani on Silent Night: “SPOILERS IF YOU GIVE A SHIT I finally watched this. It’s not great, though I think Jamie King is pretty…” Nov 30, 21:26
Dreadguacamole on Sisu: Road to Revenge: “I liked this one a lot. There’s exactly one ridiculous moment that didn’t work for me – the bit where…” Nov 30, 18:17
The Allusionist on Deathstalker (2025): “The Astron-6 guys have been pretty hit or miss for me, but I was surprised to find myself enjoying this…” Nov 28, 19:01