1. |
2010
01:20
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2. |
Reversibility
06:54
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Whatever you looked at, you sensed looking back
Like furtive pupils camouflaged in every milieu
It’s not narcissism but implies a duality
Of yourself as object and yourself as subject
There’s reversibility to every gaze, every touch
There’s reversibility to every throw, every kiss
You don’t know how much I love you, no you don’t
It hurts me so badly, you have no idea
You feel your free will as a breeze; your body as a snag
Peachy pale deathwish scrabbling at the aerobatics
Of pneumas, sylphs, and flounced wraiths
Libertine delusions
There’s reversibility to every gaze, every touch
There’s reversibility to every throw, every kiss
You don’t know how much I love you, no you don’t
It hurts me so badly, you have no idea
There’s reversibility to every gaze, every touch
There’s reversibility to every throw, every kiss
You don’t know how much I love you, no you don’t
It hurts me so badly, you have no idea
You don’t know how much I love you, no you don’t
It hurts me so badly, you have no idea
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3. |
Old Wounds
03:31
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I still remember
When you came back
And said to me
That you would like to be
The only
One I know
Forever
Keep it true
It’s bad, bad, bad
We can’t just be friends
Old wounds, they don’t heal
When you’re here
We can’t just be friends (we’re aging faster now, we’re aging faster now)
Old wounds (we’re aging faster now x3, faster x2)
We’re aging faster now x8
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4. |
Sterilized in White
04:36
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Please don’t wake to PTSD in the room
You can’t keep the shadows of edges away
Standing spent and etiolated in your brother’s doorway
Wrists dripping and scaring his hoodie-wearing girlfriend
It’s kind of funny
He tosses the controller, struggles out the neon beanbag
Yelling “Mom!” and “My God, what the fuck is wrong with you!”
You stare blasėly
Please don’t wake to PTSD in the room
Your thoughts have a presence that preclude silence
Riding to the clinic in the backseat of your mom’s fourdoor
Watching the countryside fleet to nether of your sightline
I’m still here
Floating on a gurney, wheeled into a beeping backroom
Pleas and technical cadences coalesce above you
Sterilized in white
I thought I could rescue you, maybe I was delusional
I thought I could rescue you, maybe I was delusional
I thought I could rescue you, maybe I was delusional
I thought I could rescue you, maybe I was delusional
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5. |
Seroquel
07:21
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There is a cowboy locked in your toychest
He tries to shoot his way out
But outlaws in footy pajamas
Don’t get too far
You put ribbons around your sister’s wrists
Tied them to a train track
Going around a Christmas tree
There are no stops
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
They’d never of put me on Seroquel
Someone needs to tell these doctors not everything can be solved
With a pill
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
They’d never of put me on Seroquel
Someone needs to tell these doctors not everything can be solved
With a pill
Your sister listens to Frankie Avalon
While taking a bath
The cold tiles felt so good
On her scoliosis
Every pinch, stim and wild yawp
Has been Oedipalized
By a school counselor trying to
Send you away
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
They’d never of put me on Seroquel
Someone needs to tell these doctors not everything can be solved
With a pill
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
They’d never of put me on Seroquel
Someone needs to tell these doctors not everything can be solved
With a pill
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
They’d never of put me on Seroquel
Someone needs to tell these doctors not everything can be solved
With a pill
If they knew my biggest problem was sitting across the room
They’d never of put me on Seroquel
Someone needs to tell these doctors not everything can be solved
With a pill
Seroquel, Seroquel, Seroquel, Seroquel
Seroquel, Seroquel, Seroquel, Seroquel
(Just a pill, just a pill, just a pill, just a pill)
Seroquel, Seroquel, Seroquel, Seroquel
(Just a pill, just a pill, just a pill, just a pill)
Seroquel, Seroquel, Seroquel, Seroquel
(Just a pill, just a pill, just a pill, just a pill)
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6. |
Stag Become Wolf
02:58
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Her curls in the reef
Mermaid lagoon
Eyes opaque like marble
Skin paling wraithwhite
Suppurated and blue
Wedded to the murk
Frills of lace, sinuous and still
Limbs suspended in forgivance
Kept forever in vines
Two weeks ago
Actaeon’s revenge
Capering in the wood
Barefoot, the ferns’ caress
Caked soles and a jouncing basket
The vagrant watched raggedly from his hollow
Hatchet holstered in a trouser loop
Gingerly arisen
Skulked and loped, tree to tree
Froth on the mind
Lunged
Phalanges flexed
Dug tautly
In the dirt
Of her prayer
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7. |
Untitled
01:44
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God only knows
God only knows
God only knows
God only knows
God only knows
God only knows
God only knows
God only knows
There’s gonna be a way
There’s gonna be a way
There’s gonna be a way
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8. |
Sapling
06:46
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A painful tread
Hunchbacked and squat
Robed in bleak cloths
Wailing his name
Through ashen gloom
(have you seen my son)
Walls of smoke drift
(his hair is brown)
Squint against debris
(eyes blue as thistles)
Gray and churned ground
(only seventeen)
Blasted limbs strewn
(have we not yet)
Stepping over each one
(sacrificed)
Hoping none are him
(enough of our children)
In –
In this nuclear apocalypse
Children – they fuse into trees
Incarnadine hued
Branches outlining their sprites
I can see their faces looking down at me
Seeking a vessel to absorb into their roots
And create more heads (heads)
Is this a fever dream, I don’t know
But I’ll tell one (tell you one!) Thing of which I’m certain
That’s it’s not okay for us to be apart for so long
And it’s not okay for you to hide from me
Rivulets form (forming)
In the creases (creases)
Of my old face (old skin)
No magic left (disenchanted)
All these old tears (old tears)
I can cry out (crying)
Cannot revive (time is)
These battle wastes (money)
Unblanketed (so cold)
Anonymously (no names)
Did he yell for me? (Did he?)
When he was shot (My sapling, please)
Is there any way that I can push forward?
Maybe again we’ll be together
Please don’t let me become cynical
Please don’t let me become cynical
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Poor Benjy Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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