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Joke Book - Long Jokes, Funny Stories, Hilarious Stories
a green background with an image of a cartoon character and the words, show with the dummy
Funny joke - A Show With The Dummy
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting...
a diver with no gear is diving in the water, and there are other words below it
Funny joke - A Diver With No Gear
A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay dow...
a poster with an image of a farmer holding a wheelbarrow
Funny joke - The Helpful Farmer
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of pain...
an image of a man with two fish in his hands and the caption that says,
Funny joke - Shawn And His Brother
Two brothers, Shawn and Curt, went fishing. Every time Shawn threw his hook in, he caught a fish, but Curt didn’t have the same success. By the end of the day, Shawn had caught twelve fish, but Curt had caught nothing. The next day, Curt woke up very e...
a green poster with an image of a man pointing at the camera and text that reads,
Funny joke - The Laziest Man Ever
A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: “I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. “Put up your hand if you are the laziest.” When 24 men raised their hands, the Sergeant asked the other man: “Why didn’t you raise your hand?” The man r...
a red background with an image of a man in uniform and the words how many engines left?
Funny joke - How Many Engines Left?
Fifteen minutes into a cross-country flight, the plane’s captain announces over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have t...
the amazing mirror poem on purple background with an image of a circular object in the center
Funny joke - The Amazing Mirror
A brunette, blonde and a redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them there is a magic mirror in the back room and if you stand in front of it and say something you think that’s true you’ll get something nice. But if you lie you’ll be sucked in, n...
a pink background with the words just a little help and an image of two toilets
Funny joke - Just a Little Help
Jason walks into a restroom in an airport and goes up to a urinal. A man with no arms comes up to him and says "Hey, can you give me a hand?". Though he feels uncomfortable, he agrees to help. He unzips the man's pants, takes a deep breath, and reaches...
a man is painting on an easel with the words good news and bad news for you
Funny joke - Good News and Bad News For You
A struggling artist stops by the studio where his recent work is hanging for sale. The owner tells him he has good news and bad news. “The good news is that a man dropped by the studio today and put in an offer to buy every single piece. He just wanted...
a red background with an image of hands and the words amen in white on it
Funny joke - Amen!
A new army recruit was serving his first guard duty. He did his best for a while but at about 5 a.m., he went to sleep. When he opened his eyes, he found the day officer standing before him. Remembering the stiff penalty for being asleep on guard duty,...
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a halloween party poster with the words costume party went wrong on it's sign
Funny joke - Costume Party Went Wrong
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and th...
"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy. "Why not, son?" "Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the nex...
Funny joke - I Don't Wanna Go To School Today
"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy. "Why not, son?" "Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the nex...
an airplane with the words i am a man enough as an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up dramatically and
Funny joke - I Am A Man Enough!
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel...
an ad for the medical student walks into his favorite local bar and orders a beer, i've finally decided what my practice will be
Funny joke - The Adam's Apple
A medical student walks into his favorite local bar and orders a beer. "I've finally decided what my practice will specialize in," the student tells the bartender. "It will be in the study and treatment of the diseases and disorders of the Adam's apple...
the boy with a monkey on his shoulder is sitting down and talking to another person
Funny joke - The Boy With A Monkey
A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, "Now, now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey the zoo." The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder ag...