Welcome to the ultimate list of clever and positive green puns! Get ready to leaf through some hilarious jokes that are perfect for kids (and adults who are kids at heart). We’ve handpicked the best puns about the color, so prepare to get green with laughter. From witty wordplay to silly situations, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. So sit back, relax, and let’s make the world a greener and funnier place with these puns about green.
Going Green? These Puns & Jokes Are Our Top Pick-me-ups!
- Why did the leaf blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know Y!
- What is a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer!
- Why was the lettuce embarrassed? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- How do trees get online? They log on!
- Why did the cucumber need a lawyer? Because it was in a pickle.
- How does a farmer count cows? With a cowculator.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Why are tomatoes the coolest vegetables? Because they have sunglasses!
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
- What did the green grape sing to the purple grape? Nothing, grapes can’t talk.
- Why did the fruit go on strike? Because they were tired of getting juiced.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- What did the flour say to the egg? “I’m just tryna sift through life.”
Laugh Your Way to Eco-Friendliness with These Funny Green One-Liner Jokes & Puns!
- Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- How does a penguin make its coffee? It brews it.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What do you call a belt made out of wreckage? A waist of debris.
- Why did the sandwich go to therapy? It had too many layers to deal with.
- How does a penguin count to 10? On its flingers.
- I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
- Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
- How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one.
- What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- How does a penguin write? With a pen guin.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Green is the color of money, but also the color of envy – wise words to live by!
- “A penny saved is a penny earned…unless it’s spent on organic vegetables.”
- Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m going vegan and so should you.
- “Waste not, want not…unless it’s kale, then you should want not.”
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees…but apples do, and they’re cheaper than plastic-wrapped snacks.”
- “An apple a day keeps the doctor away…but who needs doctors when you have essential oils and crystals?”
- “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day…teach a man to fish and he’ll never leave his fishing boat.”
- The early bird catches the worm…but the lazy bird gets to sleep in and still buy organic eggs.
- “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket…especially if that basket is filled with plastic bags.”
- A rolling stone gathers no moss…but it does get a good workout with a reusable water bottle.
- “A watched pot never boils…unless you’re watching your soup cook in a solar-powered stove.”
- Man cannot live on bread alone…but add some avocado toast and we’ll reconsider.
- “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade…and then compost the peels.”
- “The grass is always greener on the other side…especially if it’s well-maintained by a team of eco-conscious landscapers.”
- “Better late than never…unless it’s your compost bin, then it’s better sooner rather than later.”
- “No use crying over spilled milk…unless it’s almond milk, then you better cry because that stuff is expensive.”
- “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire…and probably some smog too if you’re driving a gas-guzzling car.”
- “A stitch in time saves nine…but recycling saves the whole planet.”
- “Out of sight, out of mind…until you see a landfill overflowing with plastic you thought was ‘recyclable’.”
- “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step…preferably on a bike or public transportation.”
- “You can’t have your cake and eat it too…unless it’s a vegan, gluten-free cake made with all organic ingredients and served on a biodegradable plate.”
Pick and Choose Your Favorite ‘Green’ Joke from our QnA Collection!
- Why did the lettuce get a tan? Because it wanted to be a “head” of its time.
- What do you call a fake green vegetable? A counter-faux-llage.
- What do trees and green peppers have in common? They both turn red when they’re ripe.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
- What do you call a frog’s favorite drink? Croak-a-cola.
- How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
- Why are green beans good detectives? They always sniff out the clues.
- What does the color green say when it’s stuck in traffic? “I’m feeling green with envy.”
- What did one flower say to the other? “You blooming idiot!”
- Why did the avocado go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling guac-tay.
- How does a farmer count his cows? With a cow-culator.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- What did the green grape say to the purple grape? “Breathe, man, breathe!”
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why did the green pepper go to the doctor? It was having a bad case of jalapeno business.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
Get Your Laughing ‘Green’ with These Hilarious Dad Jokes and Puns
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An orca-stra.
- I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
- I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
Sneak in Some Sass with ‘Green’ Double Entendres Puns!
- “I’m feeling a little green today…must be all those leafy greens I ate for lunch!”
- “Why did the lettuce turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
- “I told my wife I was going to plant a tree today…she said she’s always wanted a good root.”
- I’m trying to think of a new veggie to add to my diet…oh wait, I’m already a fungi!
- “I heard the grass is always greener on the other side…must be why my neighbor’s lawn looks so good.”
- “Why did the broccoli go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling its stalk anymore.”
- “My favorite superhero? Definitely Captain Planet, he’s always saving the environment!”
- “I didn’t realize how sweet cucumbers were until I started using them to pick up guys/girls at the bar.”
- “I tried making a salad out of avocados and legal documents…it was a lawsuit.”
- “I’m trying to reduce my carbon footprint…but it’s hard when I’m constantly stepping on my own toes.”
- “What do you call a melon who’s been unfaithful? A cantaloupe.”
- “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
- “I used to hate vegetables, but then I turnedip the heat and fell in love.”
- I’m trying to go green with my wardrobe, but all I have are clothes that are yellow and blue. Guess I’m stuck on green!”
- “What do you call a successful herb farmer? A thyme traveler.”
- “I can’t believe I dated that environmental activist…she was always giving me sustainable energy.”
- “Why did the orange go to counseling? It was having peel-ings of self-doubt.”
- “I heard the environmentalist broke up with her boyfriend because he didn’t recycle…talk about a trashy relationship.”
- “I’m not an expert on plants, but I think my fern just sent me a frond request.”
- “I wanted to plant some herbs in my garden, but then I realized…I don’t have thyme for that!”
Sprout Some Laughter with These Recursive Puns about Green
- Why couldn’t the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and got green with envy.
- What do you call a green vegetable that is always watching funny videos? A laughing stock.
- Why did the tree go to the doctor? Because it had green leaves.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor said I am OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing naked.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I just use my hands.
- Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles. The doctor said I would be fine, but my next movement could spell disaster.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- Why was the broom late for work? It overswept.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An inVESTigator.
- Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
Going Green with Grin-Inducing Malapropisms
- “I don’t need glasses, I have perfect hindsight!”
- “I’m so exhausted, I feel like a vegetable!”
- “I’m trying to reduce my carbon print.”
- “I always recycle my water bottles, it’s good for the environment.”
- “I can’t seem to grow a green thumb.”
- “My family tree is very ecologically diverse.”
- “I need to go buy some groceries, I’m running low on carbon fruit.”
- “My lawn is looking a bit yellow, I think it needs to be fertilized with organic material.”
- “I always use a biodegradable pen, it’s better for the planet.”
- “I’m pretty sure my diet is 100% cholesterol free.”
- “My dog is such a fast pedal, he can chase a car for miles!”
- “I need to compost these leftovers before they go bad.”
- “My parents always told me not to play with my food, but they never said I couldn’t compost with it.”
- “I’m really into consmourgandy these days, it combines fashion with sustainability.”
- “I can’t wait for autumn, I love the colorful leaves and pumpkin spacious.”
- “Instead of taking the car, let’s use our bipedal power and walk to the park.”
- Let’s not use plastic, it’s single-use and will end up in a large bowl of trash.
- “I’m feeling a bit under the wetter today.”
- “I’m trying to eat less meat, I’m on a gentle diet.”
- “I need to stock up on some greenvestibles for my dinner party.”
Going Green is No Joke with These Tom Swifties!
- “I can’t believe I just ate that whole salad,” Tom said greenly.
- “These grass stains won’t come out,” Tom said verdantly.
- “I’ve been busy gardening all day,” Tom said fruitfully.
- “I forgot to water the plants,” Tom said dryly.
- “I’m starting to feel a little tree-ish,” Tom said with a green look.
- “I’m so eco-friendly, I compost my jokes,” Tom said organically.
- “I’m a master at recycling,” Tom said wastefully.
- “I’m green with envy,” Tom said enviously.
- “I’m feeling a little chlorophyll,” Tom said photosynthetically.
- “I think I have a vegan superpower,” Tom said with a leafy green aura.
- “I just can’t help being green-minded,” Tom said tirelessly.
- “I’ve got a real green thumb, except when I’m eating peas,” Tom said with a full mouth.
- “I’m sorry, but I have to leaf now,” Tom said abruptly.
- “I’m turning into a real tree hugger,” Tom said barkingly.
- “I need to go grab some produce at the market,” Tom said fruitily.
- “I’m really into composting, it’s my dump-thing,” Tom said dirtily.
- “Why did the eco-warrior cross the road? To get to the recycled materials store,” Tom said crossingly.
- “I’m starting to think I may be part lizard, I love basking in the sun,” Tom said reptilianly.
- “I’m so green, I even recycle my own jokes,” Tom said self-depreciatingly.
- “I’ve been trying to reduce my carbon footprint, but I just can’t stop tap dancing,” Tom said with a rhythm.
Giggling over Garden Greens: Spunky Spoonerisms about ‘Green’
- “Mean Green” instead of “Green Bean”
- “Queen Grapes” instead of “Green Grapes”
- “Dean Grass” instead of “Green Grass”
- “Clean Games” instead of “Green Flames”
- Seen Goo” instead of “Green Zoo
- “Keen Garden” instead of “Green Garden”
- “Lean Tree” instead of “Green Tree”
- “Jeans Gravel” instead of “Green Gravel”
- “Peen Frog” instead of “Green Frog”
- “Team Plant” instead of “Green Plant”
- “Feen Pond” instead of “Green Pond”
- “Spleen Ferns” instead of “Green Ferns”
- “Screen Melon” instead of “Green Melon”
- “Veen Lawn” instead of “Green Lawn”
- “Teal Leaves” instead of “Green Leaves”
- Weed Blades” instead of “Green Blades
- “Mint Beans” instead of “Green Beans”
- “Scream Shoes” instead of “Green Shoes”
- “Reen Shade” instead of “Green Shade”
- “Bream Moss” instead of “Green Moss”
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green genes. Green genes who? Sorry, I can’t share my secrets, I’m the Hulk!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green is the new black, didn’t you know?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green with envy because my jokes are so funny.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green thumbs up for this hilarious joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green with laughter at this joke.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green means go, so go ahead and laugh at this joke.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green tea-rrific punchline coming your way!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green clover heard this joke before?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green light to make you chuckle.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green skies, green grass, and green jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green is the color of money, and this joke is priceless.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green with laughter, red with embarrassment, but this joke is worth it.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green day, green shirt, green jokes – it must be St. Patrick’s Day!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green energy is great, but laughter is the best fuel for the soul.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green traffic light says to go ahead and share this joke with your friends.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green eggs and ham – wait, that’s a different joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green with laughter, can’t contain it any longer.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green grass, green trees, and green knock-knock jokes.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green day, green shirt, and a green punchline – that’s how we do it!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green light to share this hilarious joke with your friends.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green energy might power the world, but laughter is what keeps us going.
Leaving You Green with Laughter: Outro Puns
Well folks, that brings us to the end of our journey through 200+ jokes about green. I hope these puns and jokes have left you rolling on the floor with laughter and feeling as jolly as a leprechaun. And remember, if you’re still craving for more green-themed humor, be sure to check out our other related pun and joke posts. Until then, keep calm and go green with your laughter!