writing the sex scene

You're writing a romance or at least a book with romantic encounters. At some point the question of how physical will it get becomes an issue. It can be sweet and cozy or hot and torrid. Some writers choose to lead up to the big moment and then close the door on the reader. As a writer of a love story, what to do? How far to take it? Love scenes can be a total turnoff to some readers while others are disappointed if there aren't enough of them in the story.

For readers who are opposed to any detail at all, any sexuality would seem prurient, but to me it's not. Two people coming together in a physical way serves a very real purpose, but it can be challenging to write especially if the writer wants to avoid repeating her/himself. I mean let's face it, there is a de rigueur approach to it all and getting away from that to something unique takes some er uh research... soul searching... okay where it comes to me, being honest-- imagination.

I loved something I read some time back that one writer said her mother asked her, regarding her books, did she know about all the sex from experience? The writer said-- yes, and the time travel too. It's the perfect answer because reality is you don't have to shoot someone to be able to imagine what it would be like to then describe the act and emotional impact.

Once I know a sexual encounter will be there, as a writer, I consider it a serious concern that I present it in a good, healthy, vital way. I don't write about casual hook-ups mainly because the kind of characters I prefer don't do that. Generally speaking no romances do that. If you want casual hook-ups, head for chick lit.

When I write about a physical joining, I personally like to put in something about responsibility which means not only safe sex but understanding there is an emotional impact to such joinings. Nobody rapes anybody in my books and then calls it a romantic happening. My heroines don't say no when they mean yes. Mature sexual relationships should not be about playing power games. Sure there is a lot of immature sex out there. I don't need to have it in my books.

Once it is determined there is going to be a sex scene, then the question is how to write it in a way that won't bore readers with repetition and will make them feel good about what happened. For everything that happens in a book, it starts with the characters. What are their previous experiences? Their expectations? A good writer builds up the tension between these two as they come to know what they want but always there are reasons to delay it.

When I write such scenes, and most of my books have had them, I want the happening to seem inevitable to the reader by the time they get to it. I try to give the lovers a good experience as I think how might this really go down (pun intended). I don't like all the silly euphemisms that used to be the norm for romance books; so I stick to mostly descriptive phrases, but I also don't use pornographic terms because they don't make me comfortable even if in reality two lovers might say such things to each other.

So to write the scene, I put on some romantic music (something like Rachmaninoff Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini). I want these characters, who I always love in any of my books, to have a wonderful experience. Save the dysfunctional sex for therapy books or a novel of pain. Romances are about good coming together through all the obstacles. I also don't imply sex solves everything. It's part of a relationship but not all of it.

Writing it, I use just enough description to make clear what happens but not to the extent of going on and on. I've bought books by others where it might take twenty pages to describe one encounter. Reading such books, I skip the blow by blow (pun intended) but have counted how many pages. In one book, by a well-known author, if you had taken out those many detailed descriptions, you had a short story.

Some prefer no sex in a book that they read, but I like it. I like my characters to get a full experience of loving in all its aspects and part of that is learning how to please each other sexually. It often involves loosening up and becoming more open to their own bodies and emotional needs. Sometimes their coming together can be a lot of fun. It is a release for them, but, for me, it never comes easy to write. I want it to say all that is needed but not one word too many. I don't want to write anything I would have to apologize to anybody for having in that book.

I recently wrote a paranormal novella which I plan to bring out in February. And in it, although the couple did it, I didn't describe it because it seemed it'd get in the way of the main theme of the book. Each writer decides that for themselves. But one thing for readers who don't like the sex, they can skip it and come back for the pillow talk. Now that's where a lot of important things can get resolved... or not :)

Emotional Adventures

photoshopping together two of my own photos

There is no genre of books that does not have some within that deserve a bad rap. Published or self-published, the fact is not all books are of good quality. Top sales don't guarantee quality writing.

Romances though get the bad rap partly because of some of the silly stuff that has been in them where the dialogue makes a person laugh unless maybe they are truly into the genre. It's a joke in Romancing the Stone where the romance writing heroine is concluding one of her stories and crying with how emotional it is while we, the viewers, are laughing

Recently, Farm Boss and I started to watch Gone with the Wind, and at the risk of offending aficionados of the film, I couldn't stand the dialogue and contrivances. Yes, it is a romance even if someone wants to think being a classic moves it out of that realm. It also has ridiculous and very unrealistic dialogue.

I think flowery language, unbelievable plots, and painting all romances with the same brush is part of why the books have been so disdained, but despite that, more of them are purchased than any other genre. there must be a reason for their popularity. Unfortunately though the rap leads many avid readers to not even give them a chance.

Some time back I began to look for a better descriptive title for romances as the name seems to suggest Valentine's Day, flowers and candy. I came up with emotional adventures because that is what the best romances are-- except then romance readers would never find them. The best romances are a roller coaster ride of ups and downs with the swish of speed but the knowledge that at the end you will be safely on the ground again. The best romances take their readers on an emotional journey where life and death, loss and gain are side by side-- as they so frequently are in life.

If someone dislikes reading about the love between two people of the sexual sort, then it makes sense they'd not favor romances. Even though there are diverse types within the genre, in the end, romances are about mated love. Used to be all of them were of the male female type but that's no longer true. Generally romances are not tragedies although Brokeback Mountain was. I would not say Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe was a tragedy even though one of the lovers died early. Some would say, oh those cannot be romances! Yes, they can because the dominant relationship was of mated love.

image purchased from CanStock

Most romances have sex-- either in them or implied for the future. Sex is, however, not their core or they are erotica. If sex is the most important part of the story, it isn't a romance. In my mind, romances should be about the emotional connection between two people and that often does involve sex. It's not all. It's about the challenge of relationship as much as love with how two people can get together -- or not. Phony reasons to keep them apart are lazy writing.

For the books I read or write, I want a hero and heroine I can like. There has to be a believable obstacle and a real way they can overcome it-- something that actually works in human relationships. Romances can teach and inspire-- like that's a bad thing?

To write about the romance which is really about a hero and heroine, I learned the most from Joseph Campbell books, like The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Mythologies can teach a lot about motivations, consequences, plots and characterizations.

wolf image purchased from CanStock and put into one of my photos

I tried to decide if my Christmas novella, A Montana Christmas was actually a romance; and although there is a couple who are married, and another who might become lovers, it's really more about ranch life and trying to bring a family together. It probably would disappoint a huge fan of romances but won't be found by someone who is not. Because it is an extension (although it stands alone) of From Here to There, which was a romance an emotional adventure, I think it still qualifies.

One of the problems a writer has, in terms of marketing, is not fitting a genre. There isn't much you can do about it because writers write what comes to them. What comes to me are stories of lovers which I then set into situations that interest me, and I really enjoy the process.

When I typed 'the end' to the one I wrote in January and February, it reminded me how much fun it is. I like creating these characters and knowing, despite what they will go through, a happy ending awaits. Reading and writing them is going on an emotional adventure-- whatever the books are called.

Finally, after I finished this blog, I came across a review of the film Argo, which said what I think is true for the good novel/movie and decided to include some of it.

Argo isn’t a documentary; it’s a historical drama. The opening sequence features a title card that reads “Based on a True Story” – which is entirely accurate – but the film makes no promises about having every little fact straight or being a perfect recreation of the events ...

Truth is not as important as good storytelling, and that’s what the feature film industry is about. ... What matters is that it respects the spirit of the reality while also being worth paying $10 to see.

Disregarding strict truth in sacrifice of entertainment doesn’t merit a Best Picture award, but what does is pulling it off so spectacularly well. Screenwriter Chris Terrio’s script works on all levels and brilliantly pairs with the actor cum director’s style and ability to balance both the comedic and deadly serious tones. Despite the fact that you know the story has a happy ending, the film takes the audience on one hell of ride to get there, filled with thrills, laughs, high tension and sex jokes.

sexiest man alive-- or not

Anybody who reads or has read romances knows this-- they are about the men as much as the women-- gorgeous, strong, awesome men. They are the kind of man that a woman will turn and look after he passes. Even if the hero is ugly (he is in one of my books) the heroine sees him as beautiful and he projects power to all around him. Always these men are sexy. They might be Cary Grant or Clark Gable, maybe Edward Pattinson or Brad Pitt but rugged or smooth, young or mature, one way or another they are gorgeous-- at least in her eyes.

Every year People puts out an issue where they name the sexiest man alive. Naturally they never get it right. How can you narrow it down to one sexiest man alive? Not possible. Last year they picked the wrong Ryan. This year they improved but still didn't get it right.

Okay, I get it because I did enjoy Channing Tatum in Magic Mike. What-- you thought I'd be too old to see that film? How about buy it? I knew I'd need to see it more than once-- for research purposes obviously *smiling*.  Cute he is, but he's not the sexiest man alive. In fact after their choice from last year, I am wondering if they don't choose safe over sexy. (Romance novel heroes are rarely safe.)

What does it take to be sexy to a woman? Well I can't speak for all women but I think Channing Tatum is on the young side. I love a sense of humor and glint in the eye. Cannot beat that glint in the eye-- you know the one that says they know something you would like to know. Intelligence or commonsense is high up there also. But at the top of my list is sense of humor. Gorgeous is good but sense of humor is what makes it all work.

Anyway reading on who they did pick this time as well as who they should have, I came across the following as to who it should have been in 2010. I not only agreed but also realized that I am missing a lot by never watching regular TV. I think I'll bookmark this advertisement-- never know when I might need to do some er research...

sexuality and the romance novel

 purchased CanStock photo

Are romance novels pornographic? They don't have to but many do describe sexuality between a man and woman (romances today are sometimes between same sex couples). Whenever one describes sexuality does it become pornography?

 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.

A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.

I sat under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.

My beloved is mine, and I am his; he feedeth among the lilies.

I could go on but won't. Obviously most know those words as from the Bible and no romance novel is any flowerier and most not much more sexual. Some have tried to desexualize those words by saying it's about humans and god... except clearly if you read them, there is no way that's a possible interpretation. It's a man and woman and makes very clear that sex is about pleasure. So are romance novels. Yes, some are more explicit than others but they all make the point that sexuality between a man and a woman is a good thing. They can even improve sexual relationships between couples as guilt is taken away and pleasure is left.

Romance novels are mythic stories set often in modern times. They are imaginary and meant to depict the powerful energy there can be between a male and a female. She looks at him across the room and the way he carries himself, the words he's saying maybe to a shopkeeper, they stir her juices. That is just the nature of romantic love. It inspires. It encourages. It dreams.

In the film Magic of Belle Isle, Morgan Freeman's character is crippled. His beautiful, much younger neighbor, a single mom,Virginia Madsen, isn't really possible for him to have nor could he possibly dance with her and yet one night he dreams of their dance to a waltz. It is so real that later she surprises him when she speaks of their dance-- it was all about the energy. That is what a romance novel does when it's at the top of its game.

Romance novels don't encourage people to run off in search of that dream. It gives them the energy to make the most of what they have right where they are. Energy is what we take within and use various ways to improve our lives. Romance novels can give us

inspiration

dreams

imagination

 play

smiles
laughter
tears

energy and

excitement

I won't claim they all do this but it's the goal of every romance author I know-- including me.

I love heroes

What can I say-- I love writing about heroes. Oh the heroines are okay too but the heroes, they make my writing a joy. It might even be one of the flaws that some might find with my books. They are not chick lit where it all revolves around her problems. They also aren't about weak women who need a man to save the day. The women in my stories are as likely to save the man's life as he is theirs. It's not that they are Amazons but more that they will do whatever is required to get the job done.

Recently it dawned on me that I probably do write about the same hero over and over-- and that includes the historicals as well as the contemporaries. Oh yes, the hero will come from different backgrounds, might speak differently, won't look the same, dresses differently; but in basics, he's the same stripe of man. If that doesn't work for readers, I don't quite know what I can do about it either as my stories, the book I just finished editing (the one I am still unsure of when I will publish), they all have the basic type of man as their hero.

They are set into different kinds of problems, careers, lifestyles; but their characteristics are strong men who will do whatever it takes to get the job done. They aren't mean. I don't want to write about the bully who is softened by the love of a good woman. My heroes might be curt or short on patience, but they aren't brutal and I don't want to spend months writing about any man who is, even if he redeems himself; nor do I want to write a story that will convince some vulnerable woman that all it takes is the love of a good woman.

I think of my father and maybe he, along with other men I've known, is the prototype for these heroes. He was a tall man, strong, rough featured, and probably had a good bit of arrogance in his strength. When he was young, before he met my mother, my father would leave whatever manual labor job he had had during the winter to travel around the Northwest with the carnival. He was what is called a carnie who put together the rides, a kind of roustabout, I suppose, who loved the travel, the life of what amounted then to almost a traveling circus without the big tent and animal acts.

It was one of those winters when he was working as a stage hand that he met my mother,  a singer in an orchestra who also played the bass and bass horn. Mom had also been a traveler herself as with various orchestras she had traveled around the country following the jobs.

They dated awhile; but in the spring, he stood her up for a date when he took off for the carnival. One of the stagehands told her he'd never amount to anything; so don't put her heart there.

Dad came back in the fall and when he did, he had decided he wanted something different. He courted her and convinced her he wanted a life with her. They were married the following May and he never went with the carnival again (though I think he still felt the tug of it).

Dad wasn't changed by her. He wanted a real life with a family, and he changed himself to get it. He was that rugged hero type though who was always a supportive man to his kids and his wife. If it needed to be done, I could know he'd be the one there doing it. In many ways he was a gentle man, emotionally vulnerable even, but he looked like a brutal one.

With my heroes, in a lot of ways, they are that kind of man. Oh, some speak smoothly and know how to turn a phrase while others find language not their gift but for them all, who they are shows through their actions. Still they are the same basic guy-- the hero.

They don't need a woman to fix them. They don't want a woman they have to fix. It might be the failings of my books where they come to romance readers. But in the end, we have to write what is true to our own truth. Writing just to sell a book to someone else, no thanks. I understand how some might, but it would not be worth it to me. I like my heroes to be heroes. I want my romances to have happy endings.

My parents got one and stayed married (with some turbulence off and on) until my father died at 70 of a heart attack while making love to my mother.

Magical Sixty-nine

Well it doesn't sound very magical when written out, but 69 looks very magical when it's in numerals. I just turned 69. Generally I don't pay much attention to age numbers unless it means I could sign up to drive, vote, have Medicare.

To be honest, I have felt like I was 69 for most of this year as so many of my contemporaries, the ones I went to school with, my friends, my husband, already turned 69 which made me feel like I was too; but I actually only did it yesterday. It seems to me though that this is a special year for a lot of reasons, none of which bear any remote resemblance to logical.

photo October 7, 2012

There is the resemblance of 69 to the symbol for yin/yang which is the balance between male and female, shadow and light-- interconnected and interdependent.

In terms of numerology, which you get by adding and reducing until you can reduce no further, it's a 6.  Which is regarded as a mother number-- Numerology for 6  The vibrations for that sound very good for the year ahead.

And when I have lived it fully, done all I want to do in this year, I will come to a brand new decade (if I am among the fortunate) and be in my 70s. That's kind of exciting all in itself as it really is more of a gateway into true old age than 60 was, which for me turned out to be more like my 50s than anything that felt genuinely old-- even if it looked it at times. Oh there were definitely those added twinges and stuff about it taking longer to get it together when i needed to build up muscles, etc.

There is one more connotation to 69-- the sexual one, which is perfect for someone writing romance novels-- even if she is over the age where most consider romance to be appropriate. I never did go along with what 'most' think.

Outlaw Pleasures

Although over the last 50 some odd years, settings for my books have always gone between historic and contemporary periods, the books on Kindle up until now have all been contemporary. It seemed a good idea to submit books that fit a category. Now it's time to open a new category with ePublishing my historical romances.

When I wrote it, Outlaw's Lady had a different title, Outlaw Pleasures, which I still like very much but given the popularity of erotica these days and the fact that this book is not, I felt compelled to change the title to something a little more western. I didn't want to disappoint readers seeking erotica nor did I want to lose potential readers who might avoid erotica but are open to healthy sex.

As a title, outlaw pleasures suited what this story was really about which is that a culture can turn simple joys into forbidden fruits. My heroine was born into a time where women's options, even to how they dressed, were limited by the expectations of their social strata. If women enjoyed sex or even their own bodies, they were of the 'other' sort. Men were often as much stifled by the rules as the women. The story is about jumping over those boundaries and finding one's own way.

Given the realities of the publishing eBooks, what readers expect, it not only needed a different title but also a different cover. Below is the original digital painting for it and still my favorite. Alas, I am not trying to please me but the readers who might buy the book.

I also had to give up the mustache as if you aren't painting something digitally, putting a mustache on a stock photo is difficult. Models with mustaches on the sites where I look are rare to say the least.  (I personally LOVE mustaches on men-- on boys it's a bit more iffy).

So here is the only place the original cover will ever be seen. I like the new one too. This was, however, my first love, and you know how you feel about first loves...

Outlaw's Lady is the story of Abigail Spenser, trapped in her comfortable, but limited world until an opportunity comes along to escape. Once she leaves behind the rules, she begins to learn about life and that nothing is without cost. She learns of simple life pleasures she'd never experienced and tastes of the forbidden fruit.

It's also the story of Sam Ryker who had never found life easy and then along came a chance to change it all, to have what he'd thought was beyond him-- a 'good' woman. He'd had the reckless freedom but now what about living with the expectations of another person, of finding a life inside the rules? There's more to it than just getting 'the' woman, you have to then keep her.

What these two learn is there will always be expectations, can they put theirs together and make a relationship work?

I put together a video with images that inspired the book both from my time in Arizona and my imagination. The link to it will only be available to those who have read the book because it gives away too much of the plot which means best appreciated afterward as a way to savor it in a different way. In it, I wrote a prologue about how I see outlaw pleasures-- even today.

Outlaw Pleasures 
Take responsibility for your life
Dress as you want
Follow your own strong life code
Live in tune with the land
Love hard and honestly
Live your life to the hilt.
Step out and make your own way
even if others don't much like it.
Don't break laws--
unless those laws go against nature
and true wisdom.

If all goes well, Outlaw's Lady will be available on Kindle October 7th. It will have a marketing trailer on YouTube, but I'll be writing more about all of that in the days leading up to its availability. This is actually the first time I'll have done much in the way of 'promotions' leading to a new book, but I feel it's more essential since this is the first of something new-- my historical romances.

Incidentally, I now have my books on Good Reads. I am still not sure how to put an app here that leads readers to my site there. Navigating GoodReads hasn't proven easy for me, but it would be rewarding if I ever figure it out as it has many readers-- or so it says. It is a place to list the books we have read, are reading and our ratings for them; so it's fun even when it's not involving my own books.

Moon Dust-- two free days

Awhile back I experimented with doing no eBook free days. The problem was sales also dropped off. The whole barrier for any indie writer to overcome is even being seen. People cannot buy your book if they don't see it's for sale. The more places you can get a book seen, the more chance you will sell a few. For that and another reason, I am doing two free days (June 25-26, 2012) for Moon Dust.

It is a powerful love story of a broken relationship, but it's something else-- information about the repercussions on adult males from childhood sexual abuse. I know it's an unpleasant topic but when you write, part of why is to give people a good read but also some information. This one came to me probably fifteen or more years ago because of some things I had seen in my own community.

Many do not understand the problem when it's boys who have been molested. Some even think-- wow hot teacher, what is to complain? Or so what if it was a coach, the kid got something out of it. We saw some of this argument with the Sandusky accusations and now guilty verdict. The boys didn't run away. They didn't tell. They didn't tell as adults. It was all very suspect to some people.

If people more understood that sexual abuse of a child is a crime of control, of taking away another person's power, they'd get what it does and why at the time and even later as an adult the person can have a hard time getting past what happened. There are many emotional ramifications of such abuse.

The story Moon Dust is about a marriage breaking up over that kind of secret. It is also about our educational system and all the conflicts being put upon it right now. It's about how we make a difference in another person's life-- and when we cannot.

Because it is a deep book as well as a romance, it's not had an easy time finding readers. It would probably do better in a straight literary category as such readers might be more open to such a tough topic. I felt though it also belonged in a romance because in the end it is about relationship-- and that is what all romances are about.

I have written two books that dealt with the adult ramifications of abuse. The other has not yet been published as it's a historical and I am not sure I will put it out as an eBook. I'm still thinking. In that one it was physical abuse. In both cases the abuser was in the family and that is the most common source of abuse for boys or girls. Sad isn't it!

So I hope it gets some takers with its free days. I hope that some who read it will learn more about the topic of abuse in a positive sense as we are only victims when we can't change something. Knowledge is power. Abuse is widespread in our culture. It doesn't just happen to girls.

Recreating a creation

Well, we did it. It was a brand new learning experience regarding publishing eBooks. We took a book whose title wasn't working for readers, came up with a new title, a new cover, and then I looked at the story and realized I wanted to expand a few key characters which would take the book up to 100,000 words and give it a different sort of energy.

I asked my publisher (who happens to be my husband) what he thought the energy of the book is using one word. He had not read it previously; so he couldn't compare it to that, but he liked it a lot now. He said the one word that came to him was empowerment.

The story is set in Oregon and revolves around a small art community in a liberal arts college where a brutal murder had taken place a few months previously. It starts when Raven Lawrence and David Bannister meet for the first time after their divorce twelve years earlier. They were childhood sweethearts who were married two years before their differences became too great and after a bitter fight, he left.

Bannister is part of a shadowy investigative organization and has come with his partner to Oregon to find the murderer. He is also hoping to reconnect with his ex. He is not planning on posing nude for her life drawing class. David and Raven both have a lot to learn this time around.

What I think makes the story empowering is how it explores relationships between the estranged couple, between sisters (in this case of women in two different age groups), between parent and adult child, between friends, and even between student and teacher as well as those who work together and try to maintain a collegial environment. Maybe if using two words for this book's energy, they would be empowering relationships.

The new title came to me as I thought about how the hero was a determined man, the kind who did things his way. It was, however, the very thing that the heroine found objectionable.  With some adventure, spice and fun, I liked how the expansion changed its emphasis in a positive way.

Because it had been for sale previously and because it had been free, with others having the old version, I am going to set a time for two free days. I have to enroll it in Select first and then will let readers here know the dates for the free version. I am not sure but it's also possible owners don't even need a free day as I think when a writer puts up a new version of the same book, the readers are able to request it from Amazon. This free day would be simpler though.

To keep your Kindle uncluttered, previous readers can clear out the old version by going to Golden Chains then to the 'go to' page, looking down the list and hitting remove book from device. To also remove it from your online Kindle storage, go to manage Kindle and you will find all the books you have bought. Find it, say to delete it and it will leave it free for the free one to come on board. I am not sure what would happen if you left it as this new one has the same number; but it might work anyway. I don't lose my reviews for Golden Chains or its ranking (lowly though it was). For now, the author page still has the old cover but it will change and if you click inside for the sample, the new cover shows up.

Bannister's Way 

I am happy with the story, the characters, and as part of recreating it, I wanted it to have its own trailer on YouTube:

Mysticism and Fiction

Is there anything more mystical than the attraction between two people which often goes against every expectation they ever might've had. Chemistry. Phrenomes. Physical attraction. On you go but explanations never really explain it. There is a connection that  is mystical where two people do become one in a way that goes beyond the physical. Words don't really explain it; and if you have felt it, you don't need me to explain it. If you haven't felt it, you think I am nuts.

That kind of connection is mystical but it isn't the one that determines if those two can build a life together-- that's when they leave behind the mystical, quit using just pathos reasoning and head into ethos and logos territory.

Well that is not what I am going to write regarding the mystical and fiction but that particular photo was purchased from stock to be part of the cover and in a trailer for the only book that I have really written where the mystical is a big part of the story.

Although Sky Daughter does have two adults falling in love (and you know where that goes), there is something more as it looks at another kind of spirituality where you take A, add in B and empower something new-- C. In the case of Sky Daughter the chemistry leads to an example of how this can be a bad thing, can empower something threatening. Sometimes that can happen in ways people never imagined-- but they better figure it out if they want to put an end to it.

Although this is the first book I have written with a paranormal element, I have had 'mystery' in other stories. Most of my books discuss at least briefly spiritual beliefs. I have had major characters who believe and those who do not. I always know what they think about it because I write more character driven than plot driven stories.

I do not have major characters who are into a religion in any major sense because it's not how I think or believe is healthy-- and my stories are always what I believe is healthy. As a writer there is a responsibility to write truth as much as the writer knows it, which obviously the reader may see differently.

In a plot driven story the reader might not know the spiritual beliefs of the main character. It may not come up in the rush around the adventure. In a character driven story, even if the emphasis is not on the spiritual, the writer does know that character's take on god, morality, religion, and how those beliefs impact their lives. The writer will know how they got to where they are spiritually even if they don't end up making it a big part of the story.

To be continued next blog.

Sexuality and Fiction

Recently I had an articulate reader comment on my books in the Amazon Forums. She said she had not bought any, even though they looked interesting, because of her dislike of sexuality in books. She felt my covers indicated they might have that sort of thing inside (she was right). She thought a rating for sexuality would be helpful in my product descriptions.

I wrote back that I'd have a problem deciding how I could rate mine even if I could think of a rating system. One of my books got a review in a book review blog. I only stumbled across it by doing a name search to see what was out there in mine. She gave that book a 2 star in passion. Since a 5 star is tops where it comes to rating a book, I am guessing she was saying that while there was some passion, it wasn't that much. I am not sure if that was her meaning-- other than if someone wants zero sex, they don't want my books. On the other hand, if they are looking for erotica, they don't either.

If I used the ratings like for films, it wouldn't get much easier. I would definitely not say my books are PG but then would they be PG-13? When my granddaughter asked if she would be able to read them, I said not for some years. It wasn't just about the sex though. It's about grown-up attitudes toward romance. I don't really want her thinking soul-mates at her age.

When I think about an R rating, I am not sure my books are sexy enough for an R. I have read a lot of romance books where a sexual encounter can go on for pages, sometimes 20 or more. Mine are more about the leading up than the actual doing as I am not into reading or writing blow by blow descriptions. But on the other hand, they don't fade out before the big event either (and there will be at least one big event somewhere along the way). 

I am still thinking how sexuality can be handled in the blurbs for the books. I am comfortable with the level I use in the actual books-- and I did think about it. My belief is that healthy sexuality is good for adults. I think it's fun to write and seems rewarding for the characters and me. And I am about a full experience for those characters as well as the person who will pick up the book.

In my own reading, I don't mind sex in a book, but I wouldn't buy one for it either. One writer I've read over the years used the term blush for the level of sex in her books. Well I agree she has sex and it's described, sometimes step by step, but blushing? I don't know what it would take to get me to blush regarding sex in a book.

If a writer puts in more sex than interests me (and for me it's not about offensive, it's about boring), I skip over it. In some books I have read, that can mean I get a short story rather than a full novel.

IF I make a mistake and get a book with what I feel is a perversion of sex, I throw that one out rather than trade it back in. I wouldn't put a nasty review on that author's page, but I sure wouldn't buy another book by them either. The only kind of sexuality I am interested in reading or writing is healthy relationships between two people.

In my case that means male and female, not because I consider the other unhealthy but because I don't know much about it. I try to stick to what I do know something about from my own experiences. I have had gay characters, but they are always secondary-- i.e. friend of hero or heroine.

An idea for a book has rolled around in my head for awhile. It came to me in a set of two of my movie type dreams that came a couple of weeks apart. In the first dream the hero has been in a long time relationship with another man-- basically his life mate. He and the heroine are forced to go on the run from a criminal element and in spending so much time together, they fall in love.

In the dream, he might have known he was bisexual before this, but she was totally surprised as she may have been attracted to him but didn't let herself imagine it could be anything. In the first of the dreams, they didn't pursue it once they escaped from whatever they were trying to flee. Although it appeared that his partner was sick and when he died, maybe as much as five years later, they would seek each other out.

In the second dream about these same people, his primary relationship turned out to be with a crime boss-- meaning he had been betrayed by his long-time partner thereby not only proving dangerous, but also giving him a legitimate reason to go to her. If I had ever tried to fully develop this idea, I would not have written about his same sex experiences but only the new one with the woman. (The dream didn't reveal either as I have to admit here, I don't dream about sex. I am more of a dream right up to it and fade to black kind of dreamer.)

Usually when you do see a movie or read a book about three people in this kind of triangle, it's from the other end where the man and woman have been in a long time relationship and then one of them recognizes their true sexuality is to be gay.

 I haven't tried to develop this idea not because I think readers would not go for it (who knows on that).  I don't write based on whether I think an idea would be popular with readers. Instead my hesitation was because I thought it might be offensive to gay people where I have read that many don't think there is such a thing as bi-sexuality. Gays are fighting for respect on so many levels now that I would hate to write something offensive or implying people can change their gender at will. I don't believe that but what I do think is some are gay, some are straight, and some can go between, but what do I know about it. Hence it has seemed wiser to leave this idea on the discard pile where a lot of other ideas for books end up.

Well, that was kind of a distraction to my main topic which was to try and figure out some kind of sexuality rating for my own books that alerts readers to avoid them if they are opposed to sex in a book-- married/committed or not. I know one thing-- they aren't sweet and they aren't Christian. But what they aren't doesn't say what they are.

From Here to There

To me, the best romances are about more than a romantic relationship but are laid into a story bigger, one that is about life itself. 'From Here to There’ is such a story set into several mythologies, the perfection of another person, of a place, and of histories that might or might not be true.

Helene Lamont, from a tony Boston family, is being married in a lavish Boston wedding when she realizes, no matter what the cost, she's not willing to live a life such as her parents have done. She has seen a better example of what marriage can be like in that of her deceased aunt and rancher uncle. She tells her brand new husband of her decision between the wedding service and the reception.

Multimillionaire, Phillip Drummond is in shock at the idea his trophy wife has turned into an albatross to ruin his carefully built reputation as a business wunderkind. He had the perfect wife to perfect his image right up until she is about to make a fool of him. Helene’s decision throws him back into memories of his growing up in a world, nothing like hers, that he has tried to hide.

When Helene’s Montana rancher uncle, Amos, visits Phillip with an offer to come west to his ranch where Helene will be living for awhile, Phillip at first sees him as out of his mind. What does he know about ranching? He'd be a total dude. No thanks. Still it irks him that his own toughness was not recognized by Helene. Will he also head West despite knowing it is pure foolishness?

Set mostly in Montana, it depicts the life real ranchers live today with its costs and rewards. This book is a love story of two couples, one out of the past through a journal, but also love of the mythology of the West, ranch life, and a region I have personally come to care for very much. From Here to There is about our illusions. It is also about a truth that life is led in the moments between here and there.

It is now available through Kindle at the following link-- From Here to There -- for purchase or borrowing as part of Amazon Prime.

For more of my thinking on this story, click on the button alongside here, Romance with an Edge, where I wrote further thoughts on the story and what is behind it as I see it.

Desert Inferno

Based in Southern Arizona in the country of cactus and dangerous men, Rachel O'Brian loves her life and her career as a successful oil painter.  With her widowed father, she lives on a remote ranch which has been in their family since the late 1800s.

While out on a plein air painting trip, she comes across a dying man which leads to her meeting with Border Patrol Agent, Jake Donovan, a man as hard and tough as the land he is sworn to protect. Rachel, who hasn't thought much about a relationship with any man, is instantly attracted and ready to become involved with someone different than anyone she's known.

Jake sees the beauty in Rachel but is in equal proportion determined to not be involved with a woman clearly out of his league in every possible way. He is a powerful man, with a life free of emotional entanglements which is just how he wants it. Hence the story begins as these two deal with their different goals but equally strong attraction.

Can it be that simple? Of course, not. Southern Arizona in the wilderness is a land of extremes and men who will do anything for power. Hidden within Rachel's world, as a confederate of her father, is one such man who has a history with Jake as well.

So there is danger, sexuality, and the struggle of two people to not only work out a relationship satisfactory to them both but also survive the net closing around them.

Available through Amazon at Kindle