Friday Filler: Don’t Talk To Strangers

School has finished for the day, but your parents are not going to be home from work for hours yet. As a ‘latchkey kid’ you have to make your own way home or to the library or the pool or the afterschool pep rally, and that would be fine any other day. After all, your parents trust you and they have warned you to be careful of strangers, so you have been successfully making your way home from school for ages and without any problem whatsoever. Not today though! There are proper strangers on the prowl for little kids today. Otherworldly strangers with spindly, hairless green bodies and big black, unblinking eyes. In other words, little green men from outer space ready to abduct the children and whisk them away in their flying saucers. This is the set-up for Don’t Talk To Strangers, which is published by by Cryptozoic Entertainment and is part of the first trilogy of games—along with Let’s Dig for Treasure and Let’s Summon Demons—based on the art of Steven Rhodes, noted for its sly, subversive dig at the social attitudes and fears of the seventies and eighties. Published following a successful Kickstarter campaign, it is designed to be played by between one and four players, aged fourteen and up. The aim of the game is for a player to get as many of the thirteen kids under his charge to the homes, pool, park, pep rally, or library where they will be safe—for the most part—whilst avoiding their being abducting and perhaps ensuring that other kids get abducted instead, and ultimately, at the end of the game, score as many points as possible. A game can be played in twenty minutes or more, depending on the number of players. The aim of the game is for a player to get as many of the thirteen kids under his charge to the homes, pool, park, pep rally, or library where they will be safe—for the most part—whilst avoiding their being abducting and perhaps ensuring that other kids get abducted instead, and ultimately, at the end of the game, score as many points as possible.

Don’t Talk To Strangers consists of an eleven by seven-and-a-half-inch, double-sided board, a deck of one hundred cards, ten Stranger Tokens, fifty-two Kid Tokens, one Flying Saucer Coin, and a twelve-page mini-rulebook. The board shows the various homes, other locations, streets, bus stops, and Stranger spaces surrounding the kid’s school. Most locations in the board will score a player points at the end of the game, from the seven points of North End Mansion to the single point of the Library or spots in the South Pool. In addition, some locations grant extra benefits if a player has a kid there. For each kid in the Library, a player will increase his hand size by one, whilst for each kid in the South Park, he can increase the number of kids he has in place. The Stranger spaces are where the Strangers will land when a ‘Stranger Sighting’ card is played. Any Kid on a Stranger space when this occurs is abducted and out of the game and the presence of the Stranger on the Stranger space blocks movement through that space. The board is double-sided, the ‘Board B’ having a more complex layout and more Stranger spaces.

Most of the game’s cards are movement cards. For example, ‘Skateboard’ allows a player to move a Kid three spaces; ‘School Bus’ enables him to move a kid between any two Bus Stops; and ‘Hop the Fence’ lets him move a kid one space, but this can effectively be through a wall! A ‘Stranger Sighting’ means that a Stranger has been spotted and has to be added to the board on a ‘Stranger Spot’, whilst a ‘Saucer’ card forces a player to target a kid on the board, who can be from anywhere on the board, including those on a scoring space. He then flips the Flying Saucer Coin and if it lands ‘Saucer’ face up, the Kid is abducted out the game.

The game begins with each player having three cards and a Kid on the ‘Start’ space which is the school. On his turn, a player can do one of two things. One is to add a Kid to the ‘Start’ space, the other is to play a card. A player can only have one Kid in play. A Kid on a scoring location does not count towards this limit and a player can increase the number by gettinga Kid to the South Park location. Most of the time a player will play a card, move a Kid, and draw back up to his hand. However, if a ‘Stranger Sighting’ or a ‘Saucer’ card, he must play them immediately and resolve their effects. It is possible for a player to draw multiple ‘Stranger Sighting’ or ‘Saucer’ cards depending how the deck has been shuffled.

The continues until one player has managed to get all of his Kids to scoring locations, but very much more likely, all of the Stranger location cards have been filled—ten on ‘Board A’, eight on the more difficult ‘Board B’. At this point, each player totals the score he has from the Kids he has on scoring locations, and the player with highest score wins.

None of this game play is very challenging—if at all nor does it offer very in the way of variation. This makes the game better suited to a younger audience or a family audience, whilst the lack of variation means that more experienced players are unlikely to want to play it again.

Physically, Don’t Talk To Strangers is well presented. The rulebook is short and easy to read, and includes an example of play as well as explanations of what the various cards do. The artwork, with its bright, bold colours, is excellent, Steve Rhodes’ illustrations are excellent.

Don’t Talk To Strangers is underwhelming, both in terms of its limited game play and its humour. One of the pleasures of the games in this line is Steve Rhodes’ illustrations which are invariably sly and subversive. Not so in this game where only one card stood out, which is ‘New Step-Dad’ card which enables a player to move any Kid, including that of an opponent, from a Home or Mansion location to an empty Home or Mansion location, so changing their score valuable at game’s end. This has a witty element of social commentary that will hit home for some players—whether children or adults of a certain age—and which the other cards in the game lack.

At best, Don’t Talk To Strangers is an average filler game, at worst, the one in a gamer’s library which completes his collection of all six Steve Rhodes-themed games from Cryptozoic Entertainment. It is certainly far from the best in the series.

Friday Filler: Let’s Summon Demons

There are days when its gets really dreary and boring, such as every late Sunday afternoon before you go back to school or that last week of the holidays before you back to school. When you are down in the dump or got lost in the doldrums, what is a kid to do? Well, when your friends come round to play and when your mother is not looking, why not summon demons? Which is exactly what the kids do in Let’s Summon Demons. This is a card and dice game published by Cryptozoic Entertainment following a successful Kickstarter campaign and based on the art of Steven Rhodes, noted for its sly, subversive dig at the social attitudes and fears of the seventies and eighties. The idea behind is simple. Collect and take advantage of the souls of boys and girls and animals, and when the right moment comes, sacrifice three of them to summon a demon. Summon a total of three demons and have enough souls and the player will win the game. Designed for two to five players, aged fourteen and up, Let’s Summon Demons can be played in about thirty minutes or so and is a fast-paced, fun experience. Of course, there is the problem of theme. It is silly and ridiculous, but its theme means that it is not going be to everyone’s taste, so they need not read this review, let alone play Let’s Summon Demons.

So… Still here?

Great.

I will carry on.

Let’s Summon Demons consists of one-hundred-and-twenty-five cards, forty Soul Tokens, and two six-sided dice, and a twelve-page mini-rulebook. The cards are broken down into five Candle Cards, twenty Demon Cards, and one hundred The Block Cards. There are two noticeable features of these cards. One is that they round rather than rectangular and some 5 cm in diameter, and the other is the vibrancy of their colour and artwork. They also have numbers on them. When these numbers are rolled in the game, they will trigger the action on the card. Sometimes even when it is not your turn and sometimes only when it is your turn. The Candle Cards are what each player starts the game with. Each is marked with a candle and a range of numbers between two and twelve which differs from one Candle Card to the next. When the numbers are rolled on the Candle Cards, even when it is not a player’s turn, let him collect a Soul Token, the currency in the game. The Candle Cards include the ‘Good Candle’, the ‘Kind Candle’, the ‘Beginner’s Candle’, ‘Rotten Candle’, and the ‘Evil Candle’, which add flavour rather than a mechanical benefit.

The Demon Cards include ‘Baphometal’, ‘Rosemary’s Egg’, ‘Re-Rollucifer’, ‘Dollargorgon’, and more. Their effects are either on-going or triggered when the player owning them rolls the number on them. For example, ‘Dice-Zuzzu’ lets a player Soul Tokens equal to the result of one of the dice when he rolls doubles and ‘The Serpent’ which automatically wins the game for the player when rolls a two.

The Block Cards consist of boys and girls and animals. Some of the boys and girls are described as ‘Sweet’, some as ‘Rotten’, others neither, and the animals are neither ‘Sweet’ or ‘Rotten’. For example, ‘Sweet Lisa’, ‘Sweet Chuck’, and ‘Sweet Pippi’ and ‘Rotten Regan’, ‘Rotten Donnie’, and ‘Rotten Carrie’. The Block Cards differ from the Candle Cards in two ways. One is that they only have a single number on them and the other is that each boy or girl or animal has a special ability that is activated when rolled. For example, ‘Sweet Marilyn’ gains the player a boy from The Block; ‘Rotten Delores’ forces every player to discard very ‘Sweet’ boy or girl they have in play and replace with a new card drawn from The Block whilst the owning player receives a new ‘Rotten’ boy or girl; and the ‘Rabid Dog’ lets a player collect two Soul Tokens if he has no boys or girls.

At the start of the game, each player receives a Candle Card, five Soul Tokens, and three Demon Cards. The latter he holds in his hand until each is summoned. Five cards from The Block are drawn and laid out face up. On his turn, a player can do three things in any order. The first is roll the dice, the second is to buy one of The Block Cards on the table, and the third is to summon a Demon from his hand. It costs three Soul Tokens to buy one of The Block cards on the table and it takes three of The Block Cards from in front of a player for him to summon a Demon in his hand. It is generally better to buy one of The Block Cards before the dice are rolled because this will increase the range of numbers that a player might roll and because each new The Block Card grants an extra effect when rolled. When the dice are rolled, the current player compares the result with the numbers on The Block Cards in front of him, and if any of them match, he activates their results in any order. Then the player next to him does the same and so on and son on round the table. If the current player has any Demons in play, can activate or use its action if it is an ongoing one or can compare the result with the number on the card to activate its effect. This happens only for the current player.

Play continues like this until one player has summoned all three Demons from his hand and is declared the winner. Which sounds simple enough—and it is. Let’s Summon Demons is a simple, straightforward ‘engine builder’, the type of game in which the player attempts to set up as efficient a system as he can to improve what he can do on later turns. Thus, a player wants to get as good a spread of numbers on The Block Cards he has so their actions are regularly activated when he rolls their numbers, but so do the other players. Ideally, this will generate more Soul Tokens with which to purchase more boys and girls and animals and with more boys and girls and animals he potentially has more actions and he can sacrifice them more quickly to summon Demons. However, Let’s Summon Demons is a game about summoning demons and demons are notoriously chaotic and so is Let’s Summon Demons. Further, summoning demons requires sacrifices and so does Let’s Summon Demons. What this means that whilst some of The Block Cards will give as player more Soul Tokens or let him draw a card from The Block, others will let him steal one from another player or force him to discard or replace one or more The Block Cards from in front of him. So, the play of the game is chaotic as The Block Cards a player has to roll on from one turn to the next can change, forcing him to adapt. Added to this chaos is the fact that to summon a Demon, a player must sacrifice three of The Block Cards he has in front him, which removes options in terms of rolling the dice and their outcome. Every time then, a player summons a Demon, he steps back a bit in terms of progress and has to build up the engine again by buying more boys and girls and animals.

There is a knowing sense of humour to the game. For example, ‘Rosemary’s Egg’, depicting a demonic egg on a pram, forces the player who summoned it to discard ‘Rosemary’s Egg’, but let the player summon three Demons, keep one, and discard the other two. From The Block Cards, ‘Sweet Lisa’ is based on Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons, ‘Sweet Pippi’ is Pippi Longstockings, ‘Rotten Regan’ is from The Exorcist, ‘Rotten Annie’ is from Misery, and the ‘Stray Cat’ is surrounded by a guitar and lots of records. Spotting these references—most of which are obvious—is part of the fun of playing Let’s Summon Demons.

Physically, Let’s Summon Demons is very nicely presented. The artwork is lot of fun and adds a great deal to the play of the game with its knowing references. The rulebook is simple and easy to understand, but the Soul Tokens are a bit plain given the decent production values of the rest of the game.

Whilst the theme might not be for everyone, for those have no issue with the theme, Let’s Summon Demons is probably the game with the most depth to its play from any of those based on Steve Rhodes’ artwork. That said, it is a very light game with plenty of luck and some take that elements, the relative depth of the game play coming from the players’ need to adapt to its constant chaotic and disruptive nature. Let’s Summon Demons is a disrupted engine builder with an easy theme to grasp and a quite literally artful sense of humour.

1984: Paranoia

1974 is an important year for the gaming hobby. It is the year that Dungeons & Dragons was introduced, the original RPG from which all other RPGs would ultimately be derived and the original RPG from which so many computer games would draw for their inspiration. It is fitting that the current owner of the game, Wizards of the Coast, released the new version, Dungeons & Dragons, Fifth Edition, in the year of the game’s fortieth anniversary, and the new edition of that, Dungeons & Dragons, 2024, in the year of the game’s fiftieth anniversary. To celebrate this, Reviews from R’lyeh will be running a series of reviews from the hobby’s anniversary years, thus there will be reviews from 1974, from 1984, from 1994, and from 2004—the thirtieth, twentieth, and tenth anniversaries of the titles. These will be retrospectives, in each case an opportunity to re-appraise interesting titles and true classics decades on from the year of their original release.

—oOo—

1984 produced two of the greatest roleplaying games designed in response to the Cold War and two of the greatest humour roleplaying games. One of the Cold War roleplaying games was Twilight 2000, whilst one of the humour roleplaying games was Toon. In both cases, the other roleplaying game was Paranoia. Published by West End Games, previously known for its wargames, Paranoia: A Role-Playing Game of a Darkly Humorous Future is a Science Fiction post-apocalyptic dystopian satire inspired by classics of the genre, such as Nineteen Eighty-Four, Brave New World, Logan’s Run, and THX 1138. It is both a satire on capitalism and communism, a roleplaying game of trust and distrust—mostly the latter, laced with black humour, drenched in irony, and if it was not the first roleplaying game that specifically pitted the players and their characters against one another, it was certainly, the roleplaying game to not only embrace it wholeheartedly, but also to actively encourage it. What it was though, was the first roleplaying game in which the Game Master was as much an adversary to the Player Characters as they were to each other, and it was the first roleplaying game in which knowledge or possession of the rules was punishable by death. The play and the setting of Paranoia is one of ignorance and fear built on a series of contradictions which the players and their characters attempt to navigate, rarely with any success, and generally, with consequences both disastrous and funny for all concerned.

The setting for Paranoia: A Role-Playing Game of a Darkly Humorous Future is Alpha Complex, a vast underground city where the last of humanity survives thanks to the protection and facilities provided by the Computer. The Computer is their friend. Citizens of Alpha Complex are decanted into Clone Families of six identical clones and raised to serve meaningful and satisfying lives in service to Alpha Complex and in return be provided with nutritious food and enjoyable entertainment. Most clones and their families possess a Security Clearance of Infrared. Depending upon the role and assignment of a Citizen, he may achieve a higher Security Clearance (if he is not executed first). This is based on the colour spectrum, so in ascending order is RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, GREEN, BLUE, INDIGO, VIOLET, and ULTRAVIOLET, the latter clearance only available to High Programmers and (on a temporary basis) Game Masters. Unfortunately, Alpha Complex is at war and has been ever since it was established. There are forces outside of Alpha Complex which want to see it and its way of life it provides its friends with destroyed. Worse though are those who would destroy it from within. First and foremost, Commies. Commies are Traitors. Commies are everywhere. Then there are Mutants and members of Secret Societies. Mutants and members of Secret Societies are Traitors. It is the duty of every Citizen of Alpha Complex to report all signs of treasonous activities, including being a Commie, a Mutant, or a Member of a Secret Society. Not reporting signs of treasonous activities, including being a Commie, a Mutant, or a Member of a Secret Society is treasonous.

Fortunately, Alpha Complex has a solution: Troubleshooters. Troubleshooters are carefully selected Infrared Clones trained and equipped to further serve the Computer, including spotting Traitors and signs of treason. To reflect their training, equipment, and responsibilities, they are promoted to RED Security Clearance level and assigned to a Service Group that can be the Armed Forces, Central Processing Unit, Housing Preservation & Development or Mind Control, Internal Security, Power Services, Production, Logistics, and Commissary, and Research & Design. Unfortunately, each Troubleshooter has a secret. He is a Traitor. He is a Traitor because he is a Member of a Secret Society. So, he has to keep this a secret. Unfortunately, each Troubleshooter has another secret. He is a Traitor. He is a Traitor because he is a Mutant. So, he has to keep this a secret. Guess which roles the players roleplay in Paranoia? And the good news is that in event of a Troubleshooter’s death, whether in the patriotic and glorious service of the Computer or because he has been identified as a Traitor and dutifully reported for Self-Termination, his current assignment and duties will be immediately undertaken by the next member of the Troubleshooter’s Clone Family, who is fully trusted by the Computer and is not a Traitor.

Paranoia: A Role-Playing Game of a Darkly Humorous Future was published as a boxed set. It contained three books and a pair of two twenty-sided dice, marked one to ten twice. The three books are the twenty-four-page ‘Player Handbook’, the sixty-four-page ‘Gamemaster Handbook’, and the fifty-two-page ‘Adventure Handbook’. Notably, the ‘Adventure Handbook’ is actually the scenario booklet and done as a then traditional module format and the page numbers actually run concurrently from the ‘Player Handbook’ through the ‘Gamemaster Handbook’ to the ‘Adventure Handbook’.

A Troubleshooter in Paranoia has eight primary attributes. These are Strength, Agility, Manual Dexterity, Endurance, Moxie, Chutzpah, Mechanical Aptitude, and Power Index. These are range in value between two and twenty, with Chutzpah being defined as, “…[T]he quality of a man who kills both his parents and then pleads for mercy because he is an orphan.”; Moxie as the ability to comprehend the unusual; and Power Index the strength of a Troubleshooter’s mutant power. He has a Mutant Power and belongs to both a Service Group and a Secret Society. He also has several skills, which are represented as percentages. Skills are organised into skill trees with the lower the skill is down a skill tree, the more specialised it is and the higher the skill bonus it grants. To create a Troubleshooter, a player rolls for everything bar the skills which he assigns points to with the few points a beginning Troubleshooter is given. He is given some mandatory equipment and 100 credits with which to purchase more. The skills are not written down on the Troubleshooter sheet as a list, but drawn as a skill tree.

Name: Budd-R-FLY-1

Clone Number: 1

Security Clearance: Red

Service Group: Research & Design

Secret Society: Spy for Armed Forces

Mutant Power: Extraordinary Power – Mental Blast

Commendation Points: 0

Treason Points: 0

Credit: 100

Strength 13 Agility 18 Manual Dexterity 14 Endurance 11

Moxie 06 Chutzpah 08 Mechanical Aptitude 13 Power Index 14

Carrying Capacity: 30 Damage Bonus: —

Macho Bonus: — Melee Bonus: +17%

Aimed Weapon Bonus: +07% Comprehension Bonus: -10%

Believability Bonus: -05% Repair Bonus: +04%

SKILLS

Basic Operations 1 (20%); Melee Combat 2 (25%); Aimed Combat 2 (25%)

Technical Services 1 (20%); Robotics 2 (25%)

EQUIPMENT

red reflec armour, laser pistol, laser barrel (red stripe), jump suit, utility belt & pouches, Com Unit I, knife, notebook & stylus

The ‘Player Handbook’ does not explain the rules to the game, because, after all, that requires ULTRAVIOLET Security Clearance, but it does have details of bookkeeping, how a typical mission works and how combat works, the etiquette to playing Paranoia, and so on. Bookkeeping involves the tracking of several types of points. Credits can be rewarded to spend on more equipment. Commendation Points are earned for completing missions, distinguished service, and eliminating Traitors and will go towards a Troubleshooter being promoted. Treason Points are earned by failing to follow or complete orders, doubting or acting or speaking against the Computer, being a member of a Secret Society or a Mutants, and so on, if at any time they exceed Commendation Points by ten or more, the Computer will issue a Termination Order for treason. Secret Society Points are earned for fulfilling a Secret Society’s aims and will reward a Troubleshooter with promotion and access to information, equipment, and help, some of which might be useful.

A typical mission will begin with a briefing from the Computer and the assignment of useful equipment that will want testing. A Troubleshooter may also receive a private briefing from the Computer, from Internal Security, or from his Service Group. However, because he is also a Traitor, he receive an additional private briefing from his Secret Society. Throughout the mission, a Troubleshooter is expected to root out and eliminate Traitors, complete the mission, and keep safe the lives of the Computer’s valuable agents (including himself). Actual play exacerbates all of the tensions that this sets up because Paranoia is a game of secrets. A Troubleshooter’s character sheet is a secret, the contents of the ‘Gamemaster Handbook’ are secret, and all of the notes passed and the private asides between the Game Master and her players are secret. Consequently, separation of player knowledge and Troubleshooter knowledge is a necessity and some cases, failure to separate the two is treasonous. For example, demonstrating knowledge of the ‘Gamemaster Handbook’ is treasonous. Further, in play, the Game Master is encouraged—and shown in an example of play—to watch and listen for player knowledge being expressed by his Troubleshooter. So, for example, when a Troubleshooter on a mission to the Outside calls the small fluffy humanoid with tiny arms and legs, a tiny nose, and a rearward facing, long and very fluffy arm without a visible hand a ‘squirrel’, the first question on the mind of Game Master as the Computer (and also on the mind of his fellow Troubleshooters), is how does the Troubleshooter know it is called a ‘squirrel’? Followed by, ‘Where did he get such treasonous knowledge?’ Even if the Troubleshooter is a member of the Sierra Club Secret Society and actually does know what a squirrel is, knowledge of what a squirrel is treasonous, as is, of course, being a member of a Secret Society.

Mechanically, the ‘Player Handbook’ does not teach the player the rules of Paranoia because he does not have sufficient Security Clearance. What it does do is show him with a solitaire adventure. It is short at fifty-four entries and three pages long, but it nicely demonstrates the tone and style of play in Paranoia. As the player reads through it, he will earn letter codes, each of which determines whether he has earned Commendation Points, Treason Points, and so on. It will not take a player very long to play through it, but it is short enough for a player to explore the untaken storylines within it to see the consequences of other actions. Doubtless, this is treasonous behaviour, but it gives a player an idea of what to expect.

The ‘Gamemaster Handbook’ does explain the background, setting, and rules to Paranoia. The background is quite slight, almost inconsequential given the post-apocalyptic nature of setting. The setting description covers everyday life in Alpha Complex, the Service Groups, Security Clearances, and so on. All seventeen of the Secret Societies are described—Anti-Mutant, Communists, Computer Phreaks, Corpore Metal, Death leopard, First Church of Christ Computer-Programmer, Frankenstein Destroyers, Free Enterprise, Humanists, Illuminati, Mystics, Pro Tech, Programs Group, Psion, Purge, Romantics, and Sierra Club. In addition, a Troubleshooter can also be a spy for another Service Group or even another Alpha Complex! In each case, their objectives, doctrines, friends, and enemies are listed along with a general description and means of advancement. Special rules cover what a Secret Group might actually teach a member if he survives long enough. Mutant Powers are given a similar treatment.

In terms of mechanics, Paranoia looks more complex than it actually is. The roleplaying game uses ten-sided dice. For an attribute check, a player rolls a number of ten-sided dice and attempts to roll equal to or less than the attribute to succeed. The difficulty is measured in terms of the number of dice a player has to roll, from one for Extremely easy to five for Outrageous. Otherwise, Paranoia is a percentile system and skill-based. The aim is to roll equal to, or lower, than the skill to succeed, with a Troubleshooter always having a minimum chance of success of 5%. A skill is modified by an appropriate Troubleshooter’s Attribute Modifier and by the circumstances. It is the latter where Paranoia does get more complex. The skill categories are described in some detail and there are a lot of modifiers, which vary from skill or skill, and can result in a skill rating being divided or multiplied or simply added to or detracted from.

When it comes to combat, the ‘Player Handbook’ states that it eschews the, “…[E]laborate movement and combat systems reflecting their ancestral wargame heritage.” of other roleplaying games and instead aims for a ‘dramatic tactical system’—“[A] sort of unsystem – to encourage fast and flamboyant action.” Thus, it was writing against what had come before in terms of roleplaying games and their combat systems and what West End Games, the publisher of Paranoia, was best known for doing at the time, which was wargames. It was wholly reliant upon the Game Master, as she, of course, had the Security Clearance to know how the rules—fully explained in the ‘Gamemaster Handbook’—worked, and today, the ‘dramatic tactical system’ of Paranoia would be best described as theatre of the mind style play, since it did not rely on maps or miniatures. (The irony here being that miniatures have since been released for subsequent editions of Paranoia.) Some of this is seen in how damage is handled in that a Troubleshooter does not have Hit Points, but weapons instead inflict effects such as stun, wound, incapacitate, kill, and so on. If combat is meant to be dramatic and exciting for all, there is still a set of combat mechanics that need to be learned by the Game Master. These are not complex, but the Game Master still needs to know them to apply them to the ‘dramatic tactical system’ that Paranoia wants her to run the game as and there are quite a lot of weapon special effects, such as the various ammunition types of slug throwers and cone rifles, ice guns, and tanglers, which she needs to be aware of. Not necessarily in every mission, but they are there in the rules.

Perhaps the most important section in the ‘Gamemaster Handbook’ is on ‘Gamemastering Paranoia’. This is because Paranoia was—and in some ways, still is—different to any other roleplaying game, certainly in comparison to the ones that came before it. The Game Master has many roles in Paranoia. Like any other roleplaying game, the first was to portray the world and act as the eyes and ears of the players and their characters. After that? All bets are off. The Game Master has to portray an NPC, the Computer that both cares about the Citizens of Alpha Complex and thus the Troubleshooter, and loves them. It even trusts them. It also does not trust them. It also fears that one of them, if not all of them are Traitors. It is a mass of contradictions that builds tension and distrust and instils fear and ignorance with the Game Master knowing everything and the players and their Troubleshooters knowing nothing. As a representative of a nasty, totalitarian enclosed society, the Game Master may not be actively trying to kill the Troubleshooters—though she very probably is—but she is definitely looking for reasons to kill the Troubleshooters.

The advice for running Paranoia is excellent throughout. It amounts to controlling information and rationing it with a miserly reluctance, killing the bastards, fighting dirty, accepting that sometimes situations are hopeless, and letting the players feel that bad luck or idiocy is responsible for their Troubleshooters’ fate, rather than maliciousness upon the part of the Game Master. Similarly, the advice for running combat is to keep things moving, never give the players and their Troubleshooters the time to think, reward flamboyance and strange ideas, to kill the bastards, and to really, really keep things moving. Topped by the fact that the Game Master should ‘Sound Impartial’, despite the fact that she probably being anything other than that. All of which is supported by examples of play that showcase how Paranoia is intended to be run and played. Combined with advice on writing adventures—though the designers admit to liking pre-written packaged adventures for various reasons, and beginning, running, and ending adventures, the advice throughout Paranoia is excellent.

The Game Master is further supported with the ‘Adventure Handbook’. It begins a little oddly with the first ten pages devoted to detailing bots (or robots) and vehicles, before presenting a full, pre-packaged, adventure. ‘Destination: CBI Sector’ is designed as a starting adventure and sample of what a Paranoia adventure is intended to look like. This is for both the Game Master new to Paranoia and her players who are new to Paranoia, and the scenario includes a set of six pre-generated Troubleshooters, each of which comes complete with a ‘Mission Report Form’ to fill in and return to the Computer at the end of the mission. The mission involves the recovery of a robot from a previously abandoned industrial sector and will be complicated by whatever the Troubleshooters find there, their duplicitous group leader, and of course, each other. It is a fun, silly, and infuriatingly absurd affair that captures the tone of Paranoia to a tee.

Physically, Paranoia: A Role-Playing Game of a Darkly Humorous Future is Alpha Complex is well presented and wonderfully embraces its black humour. There are constant messages and interactions with the Computer, there are very examples of play, and Jim Holloway’s artwork perfectly captures the absurdities of life in Alpha Complex and the irreconcilable situations that the Troubleshooters will face. Best of all are the covers to the roleplaying game’s three books in the box. Each cover depicts a scene in which those present are being watched by someone else on another cover so that there is a sense of constant sense of surveillance and mistrust even on who the roleplaying game looks. If perhaps there is an oddity in the look of the roleplaying game, it is that Paranoia looks like and it laid out like the rules for wargame rather than a roleplaying game, irony being that this was everything that it was against!

—oOo—

In Space Gamer Number 72 (January/February 1985), Paranoia was given a ‘Featured Review by the Staff of Space Gamer’, that included commentary and annotation in sidebars that ran down the review which was placed in the centre of the page. There was comparison with TOON throughout—also reviewed in the issue—which they begin by pointing out that, “West End Games’ Paranoia is one of a new breed of RPGs. They stress atmosphere and evocation of a certain mood instead of flexible mechanics or long-term playability. These games are, if  you will, the “short story” forms of the field, while the ongoing campaigns of full-scale open-ended games are “novel-length” adventures. You don’t play Paranoia or TOON (for instance) as long-term undertakings; they don’t offer enough variety. But as a change of pace, these games can produce an Intense roleplaying experience.” In general, they were critical of the core mechanics, but concluded by saying, “So there are frustrations in Paranoia — but there is enormous exhilaration too, an adrenalin high that comes from living on full alert every minute. The game system is not for the number­crunchers who want exact percentage chances for everything, novice GMs who have trouble keeping a session rolling along, or players who want relaxation and easygoing fantasy. And if you’re likely to take it personally when your best friend’s character plugs your character from behind, stay away from this game. But if you like high-tension suspense along with a slightly bent sense of humor, Paranoia is a unique and highly desirable experience.”

Marcus L. Rowland reviewed Paranoia in ‘Open Box’ in White Dwarf Issue 65 (May, 1985). He wrote, “I like Paranoia, but I’m not sure that I’d want to run it as a prolonged campaign. It’s the sort of concept which works well as light relief from a ‘serious’ RPG campaign, and will definitely appeal to ‘hack and slay’ merchants. Dedicated rule lawyers and wargamers will hate it. Overall, a lot of fun for a minimum of three or four players.” before giving an overall score of seven out of ten. 

Larry DiTillio reviewed Paranoia in Game Reviews in Different Worlds Issue 39 (May/June 1985). Giving it four out of four stars, he ended a lengthy and detailed review with, “My guess is that Paranoia will have its greatest appeal  among older, more sophisticated gamers seeking a change of pace. Power gamers will definitely hate  it, younger players will probably find it too offbeat. Some of its quips and comments and a lot of  the material on secret soceities [sic] may very well offend a few sensibilities, but this is par for the course in a game that is primarily satirical. And please, take that last comment with a good grain of salt. Paranoia is satirical, but it is no joke. It is a solid, well-designed game, admittedly off-the-wall, but not to be dismissed as an attempt to grab your bucks with a few cheap yuks. Its yuks are good and so is the rest of it. It belongs in every dedicated gamer’s library if only for its insights into the role-playing experience. Well done!”

It was not until Dragon Issue #132 (April 1988) that Jim Bambra reviewed Paranoia in ‘Role-playing Reviews’, subtitled ‘Playing for laughs’ (other roleplaying games reviewed included Ghostbusters and Teenagers From Outer Space), by which time, it was the second edition that being reviewed. He said, “The first edition of Paranoia promised hilarious fun and a combat system that didn’t get bogged down in tedious mechanics. It soon found a following among gamers looking for something different in their role-playing adventures. Still, a close inspection of the combat system revealed that it was slow moving and cumbersome. The mechanics were hard to grasp in places, making it difficult to get into the freewheeling fun. Now, all that’s changed. The Paranoia game has been treated to a revamp, and this time the rules are slick. All that tricky stuff which made the combat system such a pain to run has been shelved off into optional rules. If you want the extra complications, you’re welcome to them, or you can do what most people did anyway and simply ignore them.”

He concluded by asking and answering, “Is the PARANOIA game flawless? Well, not quite. It doesn’t lend itself easily to long-term campaign play. This game is best treated as a succession of short adventure sessions in which players get to enjoy themselves doing all those despicable things that would spoil a more “serious” game. Some players may not like the idea of between-character treachery, but this is such an integral part of the PARANOIA game’s atmosphere that it’s worth abandoning a few scruples in exchange for an evening’s fun. As a tongue-in-cheek science-fiction game, this one is hard to beat. Give it a go; you won’t be disappointed. And remember: The Computer is your friend.” 

Paranoia, Second Edition was also reviewed by John Woods in the ‘Fantasy Games’ section of The Games Machine 003 (February 1988) who wrote, “Paranoia is a lighthearted RPG, ideal for a group fed up with over complex rules and players who take their characters too seriously … and for GMs who want to get their own back! The new edition is far more suitable for those with little or no RPG experience, and is an excellent value for a complete system (just add a 20-sided die). First edition players should consider moving up too – the rule changes aren’t drastic, but improved book organisation makes the GM’s life easier.” Then he signed off with, “‘Remember: Stay Alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!’”

Paranoia was covered not once, but twice in the pages of Arcane magazine. First in Arcane Issue 10 (September 1996) in a Retro Review by editor, Paul Pettengale. He said, “When it first hit the streets, back in May 1985, Paranoia received mixed reviews. It was criticised for being too loose a system, of being too single scenario (rather than campaign) based, and (if you can believe this) of being too much fun. Yes, that sounds mad, but at the time everyone was wrapped up in a realism trip. We were all hooked on character development – a game which, in its five rules for referees, categorically stated, “Kill the bastards” in reference to the player characters was seen as being too anarchic for its own good.”, to which he responded with, “Which was, quite frankly, complete bollocks. Never in gaming history has there been a game which was such a scream to play.” Then he followed this up with, “Despite the fact that a typical Paranoia session resembled a pitch invasion at a Leeds match, only on a somewhat smaller scale, the players achieved a greater level of roleplaying than in the D&D campaign | was running at the time. The reason? The madcap atmosphere, the plots which hardly stretched the brain, and the fact that most of the conversation went on between the players rather than between PCs and NPCs, meant that the players forgot they were playing a game, and got into the somewhat surreal spirit of things. Simplicity, it would seem, when twinned with chaos, makes for a good time in roleplaying games.”

It was also included in ‘The Top 50 Roleplaying Games’ list which appeared in Arcane Issue 14 (Christmas 1996), being placed at position number seven. In answering the question, “What’s it like?”, it said, “For players of games where character development and campaign continuity are a priority, Paranoia is an absolute no-no. If a character (of which there are six versions – each person in Alpha Complex has six clones) lives through an entire scenario then they’re doing well. Hell, they’re doing better than well, they’re probably Jesus Christ reborn (er, no offence intended, all ye Christian types). Suffice to say that Paranoia is, and always will be, a complete laugh – it should be played for nothing more than fun.”

—oOo—

In 1984, Paranoia: A Role-Playing Game of a Darkly Humorous Future was a shockingly radical design that stuck two fingers up and sneered at every roleplaying game that had become before it. It was blatantly uncooperative and adversarial in its play, embracing death in the fragility of its Troubleshooters and almost a nihilism in their uselessness, and possessing a lack of hope given that despite the roleplaying game presenting a means of progression, the actual play was actively obstructive to such progression. This meant the roleplaying game was suited to one-shots and short play rather than campaigns. Lastly, it was the most American and the most anti-American of roleplaying games, especially considering that it was released at the height of the Cold War and the Presidency of Ronald Reagan. It was the most American of roleplaying games because it was rabidly anti-Communist and it fully embraced McCarthyism and pushed the fears that McCarthyism espoused to their fullest extremes—and beyond. It was the most anti-American of roleplaying games because it made every Troubleshooter, every Player Character, what McCarthyism feared—a traitor, effectively a Commie and the enemy within. Of course, that included the Computer and thus Game Master because everyone in Paranoia is the true enemy within. And then the designers of Paranoia effectively turned it into a horrifyingly funny cartoon. It would go on to win the 1984 H.G. Wells Award for Best Roleplaying Rules.

Paranoia: A Role-Playing Game of a Darkly Humorous Future is a brilliant piece of design, a savage satire on roleplaying, politics, and social attitudes at the height of Cold War that set player against player, Game Master against the players, and forced everyone at the table to play differently. All of which it barely hides behind the blackest of humour and the bleakest of futures, whilst presenting a genuinely different and challenging roleplaying experience.

Friday Fiction: A Call To Cthulhu

From the delightful Where’s My Shoggoth? to H.P. Lovecraft’s The Call of Cthulhu for beginning readers, there have been numerous attempts to meld the Cosmic Horror of Lovecraft’s fiction with the children’s author of your choice or in the children’s book format. Some are simple as the Mythos ABC books, whilst others are clever parodies, such as TinTin meets Lovecraft and Ken Hite’s Where the Deep Ones Are published by Atlas Games. At the same time, whilst many can be read by or to children, they often inject a sense of humour into the highly baroque and densely descriptive style of Lovecraft’s writing and this acts as a counter to the cosmic horror and the unknown at the heart of his fiction. Of course, today, Cthulhu and his ilk are known far and wide across multiple media, if not necessarily, the actual details of the story where he appears. A Call To Cthulhu follows this well trod path and not only acknowledges the original story where great Cthulhu first appeared, but many others by H.P. Lovecraft.

A Call To Cthulhu is written and drawn by Norm Konyu and published by Titan Books as part of its Nova imprint for teenage readers. Described as “part comicbook, part artbook, part unsuitable-for-toddlers storybook”, it is a thoroughly modern imagining of Mythos, coming at it via an all too familiar aspect of contemporary life to look back at and reference Lovecraft’s major stories and creations one by one. Cthulhu though, remains the central figure and for reasons that will become clear never strays from the narrative, a lurking, looming figure despite the distances between the narrator and the Great Old One. The conceit of A Call To Cthulhu is that of an unwanted telephone call, one received by Cthulhu himself on his mobile telephone from an unknown caller. Reception it seems, is excellent near the Pacific oceanic pole of inaccessibility, let alone on the ocean floor! It must be something eldritch. The caller—it could be Lovecraft himself or simply the narrator, being shown only in silhouette at the table in the library where he has been reading more than safe for his sanity of the Elder Gods—then begins to berate and castigate Cthulhu for his monstrous nature and inhuman attitudes, complaining how he cannot sleep, that he hears rats in the walls, and hates him, and would give him a wedgie were he a step closer!

The irreverent tone does not just apply to Great Cthulhu, but almost every creation of Lovecraft comes in for a tongue lashing. These, as is most of the book, are presented in richly coloured double spreads contrasting with the text on its stark white pages. The style of the prose is simple, being in the ‘ABCB’ rhyming style, making easy to read—especially aloud. For example:

“Born of the Nameless Mist
Yog-Sothoth is a jerk
Outside of the Galaxy
Where he tends to lurk”

and

“Sharks can be scary
So can a two-headed calf
But penguins, dear Cthulhu
Really?
Are you having a laugh?”

Thus A Call To Cthulhu takes the reader to Dunwich of ‘The Dunwich Horror’ and the Antarctic of ‘At the Mountains of Madness’, but these are not the only stories and places referenced in the book. The narrator in turn takes us to the empty quarter of ‘The Nameless City’, the worst town on the coast of New England in ‘The Shadow Over Innsmouth’, sidesteps into the Dreamlands for an encounter with ‘The Cats of Ulthar’, and beyond in pursuit of Kadath in ‘The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath’, before a final confrontation with the eponymous Old One he is awoken and the pirate ship, the Alert, is rammed into his head! All told A Call To Cthulhu encompasses fifteen of H.P. Lovecraft’s stories. Of the author’s choices, all but two can be regarded as well known. The lesser known ones here are ‘The White Ship’ and ‘The terrible Old Man’, and whilst there is nothing wrong with their inclusion, they do take the place of more well known stories such as ‘Herbert West, Reanimator’ that on recognition alone would have merited inclusion. Another issue is that ‘At the Mountains of Madness’ has two double spreads devoted to it rather than the one of everything else, but arguably that is the largest of Lovecraft’s stories and so deserves the extra attention.

After having been told where to go by the narrator and Cthulhu has flown off in disgust, A Call To Cthulhu comes to a close two sections of reference material. The first of these asks, ‘Who was H.P. Lovecraft?’ The answer is is given in a short, one page biography which does not stray away from being honest about his social attitudes and racism. It does not dwell on them unnecessarily, but it does make it clear that he had them. The second is a story and illustration key that explains each image and its associated story. This is a useful and pleasing inclusion for the reader wanting to know more and understand the references.

A Call To Cthulhu is a slim volume, but beautifully illustrated veering the comic depictions of Cthulhu as he reacts to the unexpected caller and the more ominous depictions of the peoples, places, and things of the Mythos. Throughout there is a immense sense of scale, of things constantly looming over the reader, whether it is the Colour erupting in the sky in ‘The Colour Out of Space’ or the three-engined Dornier skiplane as it dips between the previously hidden peaks of the mountains and the strange city with its cyclopean architecture in ‘At the Mountains of Madness’.

As much as the narrator yells and screams at Cthulhu, telling the Great Old One how much he hates both him and other aspects of the Mythos, the comedic effect of this is contrasted by an underlying sense that the narrator is also frightened of them both. There is just enough of an edge to A Call To Cthulhu to hint at the horror of the Mythos, to suggest that it is something to be sacred of rather than to laugh at, but without truly scaring the younger reader or the listener who is having this book read to them. This though makes the book more appealing to the older reader as well as the Lovecraft devotee who will appreciate and understand the underlying fear and know its sources.

A little sharper, even spikier than most Lovecraft adaptations for children and younger readers, A Call To Cthulhu is a pleasure to read and a delight to look at. This is a Lovecraftian children’s book that can be read at bedtime and enjoyed by children and non-children alike.

Friday Fantasy: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache

Holiday Module #12: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache is a second St. Valentine’s Day scenario for Goodman Games’ Dungeon Crawl Classics Role Playing Game following on from 2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers. It is again a short, love and romance-themed adventure designed to be played by between four and six Player Characters, this time of Third Level. So, it could be played as a sequel. Similarly, given the love and romance theme of the scenario, there is the issue of consent with the scenario—though to a far lesser degree. Consequently, although thematically appropriate, it is only a very minor part of the scenario, and the Judge is advised to consider her players’ comfort levels when portraying this in game. Another issue is that scenario has the potential to be bawdy in tone and when combined with the albeit minor issue of consent, Holiday Module #12: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache is probably best suited for mature players. Another element of the scenario is that it can be played with Player Characters from any background. So that can be the Judge’s own Dungeon Crawl Classics campaign, Dungeon Crawl Classics Lankhmar, and even Mutant Crawl Classics Roleplaying Game – Triumph & Technology Won by Mutants & Magic!

Holiday Module #12: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache is all about lost love and broken hearts, in the case of the latter, literally. As opposed Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers, which was all about finding and celebrating love. The set-up to Holiday Module #12: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache is that Olathvee, Mad Un-God of mortal passion—who is detailed in The Book of Fallen Gods—has had his heart broken. His romantic overtures to a would-be patron god, a sorceress on the path to her own divinity, have been resoundingly rebuffed and he has fallen into despair and despondency. Being a god, these feelings and emotions have had repercussions. His wretchedness and woe has spread throughout the cosmos, from world to world, breaking up one relationship after another, until no partner can stand the sight of the other, and so threatening to end civilisation within a generation because of the birds and the bees.

The scenario begins with the Player Characters being invited to Castle Heartache. There his seneschal, Sanguecaldo, asks them to help restore the Mad Un-God’s broken heart. So almost like ‘The Key to Time’ storyline of Season Sixteen of Doctor Who, the Player Characters must search for its constituent parts and bring them all together and so repair not just Olathvee’s heart, but everyone’s heart across the entire cosmos. Holiday Module #12: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache takes place inside the lower levels of the castle, the upper levels being accessible, but not of any particular interest or relevance. These lower levels are a demi-plane, a reflection of the Mad Un-God which has been twisted and altered by his current melancholy—as to an extent, will the Player Characters. The resulting dungeon is short, consisting of just thirteen locations, and if not a physical reflection of Olathvee’s heart, then at least a weirdly thematic one. Rooms and locations are themed around tears, memories, misplaced desire, sorrows drowned, and poetry. The locations are each described in some detail, the majority of them involving interaction and roleplaying along with opportunities for combat and puzzle solving. The latter as well as several of the other locations will require some patience upon the part of the players and their characters, and certainly in the case of the puzzle, a knowledge of classic literature.

In addition, Holiday Module #12: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache includes what are either the worst Valentine’s Day cards or ones that the recipient really needs to have an understanding sense of humour upon being given. There is also an afterword from the author in which he explains how the adventure came about, drawing deeply, if (thankfully) humorously, from his own experiences with love and loneliness. A fair warning though, if the Judge has got that far and it is likely that she has, there is a shocking photograph of the author, one which really only his wife needed to see. Thankfully, he is not clutching a rose in his teeth by the stem. That might have been too much.

Physically, Holiday Module #12: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache is as decently done as you would expect for a title for the Dungeon Crawl Classics Role Playing Game. It is lightly illustrated in a cheesy style and the map is fine. It needs a slight edit in places, but is otherwise easy to read.

Holiday Module #12: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache is a mini-dungeon or adventure that can be played in a single session or two. If the players can overcome their cynicism and engage with its themes drowning in the tears of the lovelorn and the lachrymose, Holiday Module #12: Love Mutants of Castle Heartache gives the players and their characters the opportunity to overcome its forlorn fantasy, set things right and return love to the world!

Friday Fantasy: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers

Released just in time for Independence Day on July 4th—thanks Asmodee (UK)—2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers is an adventure for the Dungeon Crawl Classics Role Playing Game, the first released specifically for Valentine’s Day. Well, there is always 2023 if a Judge wants to run it on Valentine’s Day… Published by Goodman Games, it is a short, love and romance-themed adventure designed to be played by between four and six Player Characters of Second Level. Originally conceived and performed as ‘The Lost Heart of Valentinus in the Funnel Love” for Spawn of Cyclops Con 2021 with the winners of the ‘Love in the Age of Gongfarmers’ contest, it is mostly a puzzle adventure which will see the Player Characters encounter candy heart puzzles, feral fluffees, and other obstacles. However, given the love and romance theme of the scenario, it should be no surprise that it does touch upon the issue of consent. Although thematically appropriate, it is only a very minor part of the scenario, and the Judge is advised to consider her players’ comfort levels when portraying this in game. Another issue perhaps is that scenario has the potential to be bawdy in tone and when combined with the albeit minor issue of consent, 2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers is probably best suited for mature players.

2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers takes place at the Festival of Markhall, the demi-god of courtly love, inspirational messages, and mischief, the town of Terni. The scenario begins with the rather gruesome milking of some giant beavers or ‘gicastors’ for their musk before that musk is used as part of a big game well, ‘kiss-chase’. Thankfully the Player Characters only participate in the latter rather than the former and there are benefits in doing so—although only minor and only whilst they keep the romantic partners they gained during the fertility festival alive. There is potential here for the Judge to create some entertaining personalities that the Player Characters can encounter during this game, and it is perhaps a pity that the adventure does not include any. The scenario proper kicks off when the festival is interrupted. First when the now musk-less gicastors break free and go on the rampage and then wailing coming from, wait for it… the Funnel of Love.

The Funnel of Love is the main adventure site in 2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers. Its title parodies two things. First, the amusement park ride consisting of a dark, narrow, covered passageway through which small cars or boats are mechanically conveyed, usually frequented by couples for romantic encounters. Second, the classic Character Funnel, one of the features of both the Mutant Crawl Classics Roleplaying Game and the Dungeon Crawl Classics Role Playing Game—in which initially, a player is expected to roll up three or four Level Zero characters and have them play through a generally nasty, deadly adventure, which surviving will prove a challenge. Those that do survive receive enough Experience Points to advance to First Level and gain all of the advantages of their Class. Now obviously, being for Second Level Player Characters, 2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers is not a Character Funnel, but taking place in tunnel it is linear.

The source of the wailing is a young woman crouching over the body of a young cleric and would be partner. Devoted to a rival god, the young cleric has offended Markhall and so the vengeful deity has not only ripped out the cleric’s heart, but replaced it with a now blood-soaked mechanical bear who must constantly pump the organ to keep him alive! The clues all point to the Funnel of Love and so the Player Characters need to ride the boat through the tunnel, accompanied by both of the distraught lovers—including the clue-bearing heart-pumping bear. Here the love theme swings into high action. There are encounters with love bugs, a lovelorn bard called Ophelia who really wants to be sung to (and the Judge is encouraged to have the players sing rather than their characters), a giant chocolate bunny, and more. All of these encounters are nicely detailed and include staging advice, which is very necessary because for the most part, the encounters are puzzles to be solved. They can be defeated though force of arms, but the non-combat solutions are both far more inventive and fun than merely swinging a sword at the problem. Along the way, the Player Characters will find clues as to the nature of the adventure’s ‘End of Level’ boss and how to more easily defeat him. This includes various types of Cupid’s Arrows, which along with the cherub’s wee bow form the major treasure in 2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers.

Physically, 2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers is as decently done as you would expect for a title for the Dungeon Crawl Classics Role Playing Game. It is lightly illustrated in a cheesy style and the map fine. It needs a slight edit in places, but is otherwise easy to read.

2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers is linear in structure, which should be no surprise that the bulk of it takes place in a ‘Funnel of Love’. It also expects both the Judge and her players to buy into a theme that not everyone will necessarily be comfortable with and together with the comedic elements of story and encounters, it means that not everyone will be comfortable with playing 2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers and it is not necessarily suitable as an addition to a campaign. However, as a fun, love-themed one-shot 2022 Valentine’s Day Module: Love in the Age of Gongfarmers is great for a single session in between other games or campaigns.

Inglorious Fantasy

Across the patchwork of city-states, dukedoms, baronies, and petty kingdoms that make up Brancalonia, great generals ride at the head of their armies into war. Elsewhere honourable knights face down ferocious dragons, save the princess, and win both her hand and her father’s seat. Mighty wizards study the greatest of magical tomes revealing fantastic secrets and learn spells capable of warping reality itself. Brave adventurers and treasure-seekers delve into the ruins and underground complexes of the ancient Kingdom of Plutonia, the collapse of which led to the Thousand Years’ War, returning with treasures and secrets of the long past. The Kingdom of Brancalonia is a land of opportunity and adventure—but fighting wars, killing dragons, saving princesses, studying hard, and exploring deep underground, they are not your adventures, and they are not your opportunities. You might see that brave knight, mighty army, or learned wizard ride by as you step out of the House of Mother Josephine’s Rest into the sunshine, a plate of ‘Extreme Unction’ macaroni* in one hand and a cup of Troglodyte of Panduria** in the other, before you go back inside and return to the revelry you were engaged in before you got distracted by the noise outside. Perhaps to throw your wine and breakfast aside and leap into the brawl which has broken out in the meantime. After all, it is a matter of principle to support the members of your fellow brotherhood. Or you want to discuss your next job, for the silver is running short, your gear is looking shoddy, and who knows when the next bowl of zuppa di topi Bianchi or bottle of Fil de Ferro will come along? You are a knave, a ne’er do well, a scoundrel, a swindler, or a layabout—if not all four, with a misdeed or misdemeanour to your name or two (or three or…) and minor bounty (or two) on your head. You are not a villain though, but just someone from the dregs of society who knows that life is cheap and anything but fair, and so you are going to make the best of it. Just like the fellow members of your brotherhood.

*Consume with care. Known to cause fits of tears and heart-attacks.

**One of the finest wines ever to come out of Ausonia. This is not a good vintage, but it is wine.

This is the world of Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy, a bawdy, sun-drenched, low fantasy campaign setting for Dungeons & Dragons, Fifth Edition, inspired by Italian tradition, folklore, history, landscapes, literature, and pop culture. Published by Acheron Books following a successful Kickstarter campaign, it is set in a ‘back-to-front’ version of Medieval Italy—even the gorgeous map is flipped from left to right—in which low life heroes, the Player Characters, form Bands and hopefully get hired by hopefully rich merchants, petty nobles, and desperate warlords to undertake the odd job or two, typically illicit, dangerous, and deniable. That is when they are not concocting their own schemes and running into curses, demons, witches, and angry, abandoned spouses. To a wider audience, the most well-known inspiration for Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy will be the films Ladyhawke, Flesh + Blood, and The Princess Bride, along with Carl Collodi’s Pinnochio, but the Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book includes numerous others. All of which are likely to be less familiar to a wider audience. And that is a bit a problem because not all of the inspiration is easily available. However, if instead you think of Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy as being distinctly European fantasy—so there is definitely going to be mud and worse underfoot, not unlike Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, but with better weather, better cooking, and definitely better wine, and then directed by Sergio Leone (with Terry Gilliam as second unit director), then you have the feel of the setting.

The Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book, which won the Gold Ennie for Best Electronic Book in 2021 (plus Silver Awards for Product of the Year, Best Writing, and Best Setting) keeps its fantasy low in a number of ways. First, Player Characters can only advance as high as Sixth Level. Second, whilst it provides five new Races, it does not provide any new Classes. Instead, it gives twelve new Subclasses, one each for the twelve Classes in the Player’s Handbook, along with new Feats and Backgrounds. Third, it gives rules for brawling, intentionally non-lethal combat, which typically takes place in a tavern or other dive before the Player Characters scarper after being accused of a Breach of the Peace and another bounty put on their heads. Fourth, their arms, armour, and other equipment is likely to be shoddy, poorly maintained, and will probably fall apart at the least opportune moment. It eschews the use of Alignment, and even if used, discourages any Player Character choosing to be evil, as Knaves are rogues rather than villains. The setting for the most part is humancentric and does not include the traditional Races of Dungeons & Dragons, although they are not unknown.

Besides Humans, the five new Races in the Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book are the Gifted, the Malebranches, the Marionettes, the Morgants, and the Sylvans. The Gifted are Humans who know a little bit more magic; Malebranche are Devils who proclaimed the Great Refusal and climbed out of the Inferno, typically via the Eternal Gate which stands in the great chasm into which Plutonia fell and now stands, and who still have diabolic features such as Hellwings and the Hellvoice; Marionettes are animated puppets, often in the form of Pinnochio or the Paladin-like Pupo, who can remove and use their limbs in a brawl; Morgants are tall ‘demi-giants’ with great strength and appetite, known as fearless brawlers and champions often stationed at the vanguard of an army; and Sylvans are rustics at home in the forest. In addition, each Race has its brawl feature which gives it an advantage in nonlethal fight. The first of the twelve new Classes in the Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book is the Pagan, a Barbarian subclass, inhabitants of the Pagan Plain who favour speed, anger, and violence; the Harlequin is a Bard as street entertainer; the Miraculist is a Cleric who follows the calendar and favours the saints, and knows several defensive or helpful spells; the Benadante is a Druid as a forest sorcerer capable of interacting with and defending against the undead; the Swordfighter is a duelling archetype for the Fighter; the Friar is a Monk turned religious brawler; the Knight-Errant is the Paladin as rambling protector of the good, and likely the most courageous of any Knave; the Matador, a Ranger who hunts beasts and monsters in the wilds and fights them in the arena; the Brigand is a Rogue who steals from the wealthy and redistributes what he steals, and can always catch his targets by surprise; the Superstician is a very lucky Sorcerer who can also cast protective rituals; the Jinx is a Warlock who has the districting power of the Evil Eye and even cause misfortune; and the Guiscard is a Wizard who specialises in tomb robbing and treasure hunting.

To these Subclasses are added backgrounds such as the Brawler, the Finagler, and the Fugitive, as well as Feats like Ancient Culinary Art, Apothecary, Jibber-Jabber, and Peasant Soul. There are rules too for advancing beyond Sixth Level, but each new Level only grants an Emeriticence, such as Professional Brawler or Blessed Luck. In addition to creating their Player Characters, they come together to create their Bounty Brothers’ den, a comfortable place where they can rest up and hide. It might be an abandoned farmhouse occupied by brigands, matadors, and smugglers, or a tower in plain sight inhabited by knights-errant, swordsmen, and mercenaries, but all begin with one and can be improved with further Grand Luxuries such as Black Market or a Cantina. This though takes gold and Knaves typically only have silver, so there is a community improvement element to play as the Knaves pool their funds. The Den is also where they ‘Rollick’ and rest—the long rest in Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book is seven days long, too long to take place during actual play—and perhaps improve their Den, reflect on the Job just done (and note any misdeeds and misdemeanours that lead to further bounties being placed on their heads), and plan for the next Job. This will probably result in some kind of hazard as a result of their past activities, and it can be partially offset by going into hiding for a while.  And Knaves being who they are, can also engage in Revelry, a few days of good food, good wine, and good company, and so fritter away some of what they just earned…

Other activities the Knaves can engage in are brawls and dive games. Brawls are not like combat in that Hit Points are not lost. Instead, a Brawl attack inflicts Whacks, most Knaves being able to suffer five of them before being knocked unconscious. Brawlers can pick up props, essentially the things around them, and attack with them or use them to defend themselves with. These are divided between common props—pots, dishes, bottles, stools, and so on, and epic props—tables, barrels, chandeliers, suits of armour, and more. In general, a prop has a beneficial effect like gaining a bonus attack or increasing a Knave’s Armour Class, rather than increasing the whacks inflicted. Knaves also have Moves, which are divided into General Moves, Magic Moves, Class Brawl Features, and so. There are Stray Dangers, like ‘Rain of Stools’ or ‘It’s Raining ham’ which the Condottiero—as the Game Master is known in the Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book is called—can add to a brawl. The brawl rules are definitely designed to be cinematic in style and add a sense of action and comedy to play.

In addition to brawling in Dives, a Knave likes to play games and gamble—though that is illegal in the Bounty Kingdom. The Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book includes several different Dive games. These include the card game, Poppycock; Barrel Beating, a combined drinking-barrel smashing game in which the winner smashes the barrel and wins the wagers inside; Brancalonian Buffet, an eating contest. There are also rules for shoddy equipment, counterfeiting, equipment for the setting, like the Scudetto, a medium shield which bears the emblem of a city and is thus a symbol of pride for followers of the local Draconian Football Team, concoctions—tonics and the like for what ails you, and even some magical junk. Lastly, there is memorabilia, items of no ecumenic value, but perhaps personal value to their owning Knaves. A Knave begins play with one, but this is not obvious until much later in the book.

For the Game Master—or Condottiero—there is good advice on running Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy. This is to keep the tone light-hearted, magic low, make the game one of tragicomedy and even ‘Grand Guignolesque’, so there is room here for horror too. There is in effect no budget for special effects, or little else, so a game of Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy should be like a film done on the cheap—recycling character actors and redressing extras, natural backdrops and ruins, and so on. Plus, the brawls of ‘brawly’ fantasy to cut down on the bloodshed, but keep up the tension. There is advice as to what to avoid in play—unnecessary violence, sexual themes—though nature of Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy does skirt the issue, and of course, any bigotry. This is the equivalent to safety tools. Plus, there is advice on handling bounties and the law, creating adventures, dives, random roads which may or may go somewhere, and more. There is also a good overall guide to the Bounty Kingdom, its history, its various regions, and even the kingdoms beyond its borders. Each is given a couple of pages, but each includes suggestions as to the types of Jobs that the Knaves might undertake there, and overall, there is just about enough to make each region different and provide the Condottiero with further inspiration.

Penultimately, Condottiero is given a six-part campaign, ‘In Search of Quatrins’ to run. It begins with ‘Little People of the Grand Mount’ and ‘Rugantino: Tales of Love and the Knife’, both of which are for First Level Player Characters, but the first is specifically written as an introductory adventure, one that younger players can roleplay, but also sets up the rest of the scenarios. To this end the Knaves are offered an easy job and the chance to join a company by Roughger of Punchrabbit. The Jobs include treasure hunts, monster hunts, missing marionettes, and more. All together ‘In Search of Quatrins’ should provide a group with several sessions’ worth of play and give them a thorough taste of life in the Bounty Kingdom. They do need some development in places, but the Condottiero should be able to do that as part of preparation. Lastly, Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book includes a bestiary of new monsters and a section of ready to use NPCs.

Physically, the Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book looks to be superbly presented, with really good artwork and excellent maps. However, it is a translation from Italian and the localisation and editing is not as good as it could have been. In addition, the index is anaemic, so finding anything in the book will be a challenge. The book could also have been done with a step-by-step guide to creating Player Characters for the setting, as there are several aspects of the process which do not appear until much later in the book. Similarly, a glossary would have been incredibly useful.

Ultimately, whether or not you like the Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book will depend on your feelings towards Dungeons & Dragons, Fifth Edition. The new rules presented here do add to Dungeons & Dragons, Fifth Edition, but at the same time, they add and enforce the setting and genre of Brancalonia—the brawling, the shoddy equipment, and much, much more. Whether you like it or not, the Bounty Kingdoms setting of Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy jumps from every page into uproarious, tankard banging, wine quaffing, lustily voiced song and then at the end of the night, down in the cups mutterings, before another job presents itself the next day even as you are trying to get over a hangover. Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book presents a delightfully different take upon fantasy, for which even if you do not know the inspiration, the book is inspiring in itself, and you should be creating a cast list (for which Oliver Reed should be your number one choice) even as you read the book and prepare your first adventure. Once you have finished reading Brancalonia – Spaghetti Fantasy Setting Book and prepared your first adventure, you should be ready to bring an inglorious fantasy to the table.

Goblins in a Gaberdine

We have a fascination with the antics of little people, whether that is of Goblins, Hobbits, or Kobolds. In gaming this goes all the way back to The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings and thus Middle Earth Roleplaying, but it really comes into its comedic own with Kobolds Ate My Baby!, published by 9th Level Games in 1999. The latest entry in this comedy subgenre is published by CobblePath Games, best known for Locus: A roleplaying game of personal horror. Stacks of Goblins: A Comedy roleplaying game of camaraderie, stupidity, and spite takes the comedy of the raucous antics of small and bumptious persons and literally puts them on top of another gag—the ‘Totem Pole Trench’ or ‘Two Kids In a Trenchcoat’. In other words, Stacks of Goblins puts one goblin on top of another goblin on top of another goblin, and puts them in a Trenchcoat—of seemingly elastic length—and a fedora, and sends them out to do mischief. The situation is simple. Their Snikittyness the Goblin ruler has a mighty need and multiple Goblin minions ready to see that it is met! Plus every Goblin has his heart set on finding something he desires. The best way to meet both that need and that desire is in a nearby People Place. Of course, Goblins are not welcome in this People Place. Hence the Trenchcoat and the fedora.

Stacks of Goblins: A Comedy roleplaying game of camaraderie, stupidity, and spite is a storytelling game involving multiple wants and multiple roles—roles which switch as the Goblins argue and fidget for dominance in the Trenchcoat and quite literally a higher place in the pecking order. Or rather picking (up) order. Designed for between two and six players, it requires one twelve-sided die, one eight-sided die, and several ten-sided dice. It also requires twenty tokens. The tokens represent the ‘Obliviousness’ of the inhabitants of the town or village to the Goblins who have infiltrated in their disguise and to their shenanigans. Over the course of the game, the number of ‘Obliviousness’ tokens in play will decrease to Goblin actions, first limiting their ability to move and act, and ultimately forcing them to flee the People Place. The ‘Obliviousness’ tokens also represent the game’s timing mechanism, twenty tokens being enough for a standard-length game.

A player and his goblin has one of three roles depending upon his place in the Trenchcoat, either Top Goblin, Middle Goblin, or Bottom Goblin. The Top Goblin is the hands and mouth of the operation. He operates the height of Goblin technology—a grabber in each hand. His player rolls a twelve-sided die when the Top Goblin acts. The Middle Goblin can help or hinder the Top Goblin. His player rolls a ten-sided die and can add or subtract the result from any of Top Goblin’s die rolls. The Bottom Goblin decides where the Trenchcoat goes. His player rolls an eight-sided die when the Bottom Goblin acts. His player chooses which locations in the People Place the Trenchcoat visits and narrates the outcome of the Trenchcoat’s actions. The player of the Bottom Goblin is thus both narrator and player. However, the position and role of each Goblin can change in the Trenchcoat. Consequently, the role of the player and the die size he rolls can also change.

Mechanically, to have his Goblin act, a player rolls his Goblin’s die. The result can either be a ‘Screw Up!’, ‘Good Enough!’, or ‘Goblin Success!’. Both ‘Screw Up!’ and ‘Good Enough!’ result in a complication and with a ‘Screw Up!’, another Goblin can also shuffle around and swap places with the Goblin who failed! A minimum roll of five is needed for a ‘Good Enough!’ and a minimum roll of nine is needed for ‘Goblin Success!’. Which means that the Bottom Goblin with his eight-sided die can never roll a ‘Goblin Success!’.

A Goblin can also shuffle around and swap places if his player removes an ‘Obliviousness’ token from the pile. If multiple Goblins want to change places in a shuffle in the Trenchcoat, their players have a dice off. An ‘Obliviousness’ token can also be removed if a player wants his Goblin’s action to automatically succeed. An ‘Obliviousness’ token is also removed if a Trenchcoat makes someone’s life materially worse and when a Goblin successfully acquires his desire. Ultimately, the pile of ‘Obliviousness’ tokens curbs the maximum result on any dice roll, so the more successful the Goblins are in acquiring their desires, the more material harm they cause, the more obvious their actions become to the inhabitants of the settlement, and the harder the Trenchcoat’s actions becomes.

Stacks of Goblins has tables for defining each Goblin, what their Snikittyness the Goblin ruler wants, and what each Goblin desires. Other tables determine the mission, including the target destination, the Goblin means of escape, and events happening in the destination.

When the number of ‘Obliviousness’ tokens drops below the number of Goblins, the Trenchcoat’s cover is blown and it is time to escape. The Trenchcoat must make its way back through the chaos and disarray left in its wake as it progressed through the People Place. Once the Goblins get home in their Trenchcoat, they count their loot, that is, their desires and whatever it was that their Snikittyness the Goblin ruler wanted. A Goblin succeeds if he brings home both.

Physically, Stacks of Goblins: A Comedy roleplaying game of camaraderie, stupidity, and spite is very green. As you would expect. It is simply and clearly written. The cartoon artwork varies in quality, but some of it is really quite decent.

Stacks of Goblins: A Comedy roleplaying game of camaraderie, stupidity, and spite lives up to its subtitle. It is fun and silly. It is semi-cooperative as the Goblins are forced to work together and no one Goblin is in charge, but forced into conflict with each other in order to assume the three roles in the Trenchcoat, each one necessary to grab both need and desire. It is stupid because dice rolls will fail and a Goblin always thinks he can do better, and to do better means a higher role and thus potential for a higher roll. Then as one Goblin gains his desire and their Snikittyness the Goblin ruler’s need, and the other Goblins do not, desperation and spite kicks in as one Goblin looks like succeeding and his rivals do not. All this would be fun enough, but the shifting roles from Top Goblin to Bottom Goblin and back again, enhances all of this, keeping everyone involved, and giving everyone a turn at each role. It does this through play and through each Goblin’s drive to obtain both desire and need. Which means that without knowing it and without it being forced upon him, a player gets to be the narrator of the Trenchcoat’s progress (and thus the roleplaying game’s storyteller or Game Master).

Stacks of Goblins: A Comedy roleplaying game of camaraderie, stupidity, and spite is simple and idiotic, but that simplicity and idiocy hides some clever little design decisions and a Trenchcoat full of silliness, squabbling, and fun.