150W: Alien

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Alien (Dir. Ridley Scott/1979)

Often taught as an example of the genre mash-up of horror and science-fiction, Alien manages to get under your skin in a way few films can. The isolation and distant location of the Nostromo is part of the charm. We wake up with these low-paid truck-drivers who, due to a signal, are drawn into the sinister territory where the alien resides. The H.R. Giger planet contains erotica-fused biology to create the phallus-headed beast. Once the creature bursts free from the stomach, the white walls are only blank canvases for blood paintings. Murdered one-by-one, with a unique ambiguous rape-scene, Alien is the sinister underbelly of the happy-aliens seen in Star Wars. Ellen Ripley is the sole survivor and Ridley Scott is the genius that merged art and cinema together, to be appreciated forever after. In space, no one can hear you scream. In Sci-Fi, no-one can think of anything more horrific.

Rating: 5/5

150W: You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger

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You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger (Dir. Woody Allen/2010)

Squeezed between Vicky Cristina Barcelona and Midnight in Paris are two less-known features. Whatever Works harks back to earlier scripts while You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger is a mish-mash of actors and threads of stories that are, ultimately, forgettable. Alfie (Hopkins) divorces his wife, Helena (Jones), while daughter Sally (Watts) struggles with her own husband, Roy (Brolin). Roy falls for younger-model Dia (Pinto)as Sally herself fantasizes about her boss Greg (Banderas). Allen explains how what weaves the stories together is delusion - faith in the future, belief in reincarnation. Esteemed actors, such as Anthony Hopkins, meant I had faith they’d be more engaging than standard affairs fare and upper-class woe. London fails to add a sense of purpose (as locations do in Manhattan and Midnight in Paris) while the Stacey-Solomon-like charm of the prostitute seems cliché and insulting. Woody Allen can be more nuanced and engaging than this!

Rating: 4/10

150W: X-Men: First Class

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X-Men: First Class (Dir. Matthew Vaughan/2011)

After the dismal X-Men Origins: Wolverine and the lacklustre X-trilogy finale in X-Men: The Last Stand, this instalment is considerably stronger. Charles “Prof. X.” Xavier (with full head of hair) in McAvoy and Erik “Magneto” Lenscherr in Fassbender demand our attention in X-Men: First Class. Indeed, their bromance lifts this film to heights that are stronger than many of the previous instalments. Jennifer Lawrence is Raven (Or young-Mystique), this time a friend of Prof. X. The standard “mutants with or against the world” dynamic is repeated through the villainous Sebastian Shaw (Bacon). Rival to both Erik and Charles, he uses the 1960’s cold-war to pit Russia and America against each other - with mutants picking up the pieces. X-Men: First Class is so much fun. With creaky-CGI, it rises to the challenge of reinvigorating the series through a playful plot. It's is exciting to see where the X-Men will go next…

Rating: 7/10

150W: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Dir. Gavin Hood/2009)

We know this story. Indeed, considering X2 resolved Wolverine’s history (throwing his dog-tags away), you’d think another re-tread is unnecessary. But we know nothing of his brother, Sabretooth, nor his alleyway fight with metal-tipped, pack-of-cards-throwing, Gambit. Fighting in both world wars and the American civil war, clawed-beast Wolverine has tried to set up a home, but his animalistic past drags him back to fighting. Unfortunately, this single film has left the series in tatters. Relying on mutant teams working together (akin to all previous X-Men films), it feels tired and repetitive – indeed, even the villain remains the same as X2 in William Stryker. Climaxing with a chaotic finale, as Sabretooth and Wolverine temporarily put aside their differences. They fight a super-mutant, Deadpool, who harnesses all the powers – surely he can re-grow body parts? Excessive CGI and flat characterisation makes the origin of Wolverine the dullest affair yet – a real shame.

Rating: 3/10

150W: X-Men: The Last Stand

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X-Men: The Last Stand (Dir. Brett Ratner/2006)

Opening X-Men: The Last Stand with a Terminator-style simulation, with clear nods to the previous films, (young Jean-Grey reveals ‘Level 5’ mutant ability) gives the impression we are in safe hands. But any hope is lost as favourite mutants are casually disposed of and new mutants (the hulking, dullard of a man in Juggernaut) are introduced. Rather than a fight between mutants or a fight against the mutants – a moral lesson regarding a ‘cure’ for the mutants is front and centre. Theoretically, a world-wide issue, it is limited to California. The spectacular backdrop of San Francisco becomes merely an opportunity to move CGI bridges and the climactic battle not only excludes key characters, but also erases the powers of others. Compared to X-Men the world is unrecognisable, and a return of Jean-Grey raises more questions than it answers. An awkward chapter in the series, with or without the future instalments. 

Rating: 4/10

150W: X-Men

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X-Men (Dir. Bryan Singer/2000)

Patrick Stewart narrates “Mutation: it is the key to our evolution”, in a role he was born to play as telepathic teacher, Professor X. His ominous voice-over, beginning X-Men, reveals mature and relevant themes, raising the film from action-shlock to an exploration of discrimination. Boldly using extermination camps of Nazi Germany (where McKellan’s ‘Magneto’ learns of his powers) to ground the film in “reality”, X-Men has no problem taking itself seriously – and indeed it should. This particular tale follows Wolverine (Jackman) and Rogue (Paquin) as they realise they’re not alone in their skillsets of adamantium-claws and power-borrowing. Singer directs this epic-story, complete with Statue of Liberty finale, with tact, homing in on personal relationships between the ensemble cast, including Storm (Berry), Cyclops (Marsden) and Jean-Grey (Janssen). Other than one politician, humans are outsiders; powerless to the mutant war. For an action-movie, these are audacious, ground-breaking themes making X-Men a must-watch.

Rating: 8/10

150W: Interiors

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Interiors (Dir. Woody Allen/1978)

Woody Allen’s first foray into drama is a delicate musing on family, divorce and depression. Daughters Joey (Hurt), Renata (Keaton) and Flyn (Griffith) are coping with the divorce of their parents, Arthur (E.G. Marshall) and Eve (Geraldine Page). Interior-designer Eve desperately hopes Arthur will return to her – but we, and the daughters, suspect this won’t happen. Wild-child Flyn is a TV actress and her sister’s boyfriend obsesses over her. Joey’s high-strung and intense attitude cloaks her fears. Renata, though honest with her mother, ignores her Mother’s aching sense of loss. Allen toys with nostalgia, flashing back to their childhood as they play on the beach. Temporal sandy-shores hint at ongoing changes in life while crashing-waves irreversibly affect relationships. Lacking energy, Interiors is beautifully shot with deep-shadow to illustrate the depression that clouds the mind. Far from perfect, Interiors is still poignant, tapping into isolation none of us want to feel.

Rating: 6/10

150W: Philomena

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Philomena (Dir. Stephen Frears/2013)

On the surface, Philomena is a story of a Mother finding her long lost child - but it’s so much more. Through an expertly written script by Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope, adapting the story by Martin Sixsmith, Philomena transcends mediocrity and melodrama. It becomes a story of forgiveness and acceptance that is simply unbelievable, and more poignant as we realise it is true. Family bonds and faith are unwritten ties that bind us together – they cannot be proven or measured. We can be cynics – and Martin Sixsmith (Coogan) is. Sixsmith questions and asks the uncomfortable questions while Philomena Lee (Dench) holds our hand as the truth is revealed - and we only wish that our own patience, understanding and strength could be as strong as Philomena’s. In an era whereby God and Catholicism couldn’t be more despised, Philomena is a well-balanced, personal story that magnificently challenges faith and family.

Rating: 10/10

150W: September

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September (Dir. Woody Allen/1987)

“I’m not who I thought I was” notes Steffie (Dianne Wiest) in Woody Allen’s sober and sincere September. Loosely based on Chekhov play Uncle Vanya, Allen contains the drama within a single house. Friends and family are supporting clinically-depressed Lane (Mia Farrow) following a failed suicide attempt but everyone finds it difficult to cope. Lane loves her boyfriend Peter (Sam Waterston), but he has fallen for Steffie, a married woman going through a rough patch. Lane’s Mum, Diane (Elaine Stritch), a retired actress is desperate for Peter to write her biography frustrating Lane further. Suffice to say, no-one is, emotionally, who they think they are. Lacking the laughs, September provides a solemn approach to relationships. Allen takes a step towards seriousness as affairs are not flippant and suicide is real. A tender story, September lacks the pace and immediacy that drives a drama forward making this more miss than hit.

Rating: 5/10

150W: Shadows and Fog

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Shadows and Fog (Dir. Woody Allen/1991)

Lurking in the shadows is the killer. You don’t want to discuss it and you don’t want to put yourself in the fog and make yourself a target. It is inevitable. Death, in and of itself, is inevitable. Shadows and Fog, a dark and dusty drama from Woody Allen asks these profound questions. Under the guise of an ambiguous type of dwelling, town folk are awkward and join different groups (see. Religions) in the hope of capturing the killer (see. Death). Mr Kleinman (Allen), alternatively, is not sure of the rules (not sure of God) and not sure what is expected of him to capture the killer (scared of death, but not convinced of religion). Though aspiring to be cerebral and high-brow, Shadows and Fog attempts to metaphorically deconstruct the meaning of life. Maybe further watching improve it, but the happy-go-lucky prostitutes and uninteresting investigation don’t engage – and it should.

Rating: 4/10

150W: Vicky Cristina Barcelona

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Vicky Cristina Barcelona (Dir. Woody Allen/2009)

The rogue artist has never been sexier than in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. While we join Vicky (Hall) and Cristina (Johansson) as they visit Barcelona, their differing attitudes to romance and relationships is tested when they meet Juan Antonio (Bardem) – and his crazy ex (Cruz). Woody Allen captures a passionate and fiery summer, whereby we can escape to a dream of the bohemian lifestyle with flowing red wine and expressive, impasto art. Sun shines on the Gaudi gardens and as tensions heat up, we are left to define what creates an artist. Are all artists required to be a tad unstable to confidently create? Is romance better left unsaid and unspoken – or should it be fully embraced? A criticism of marriage and deconstruction of love is Woody Allen at his best. Vicky Cristina Barcelona additionally utilises the European destination to flavour the film with beauty, grace and a deeply seductive charm.

150W: Radio Days

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Radio Days (Dir. Woody Allen/1987)

Though Woody narrates Radio Days, unconventionally, he doesn’t appear. The charm in Joe’s (Seth Green) family – comfortably married family members – defies Allen’s usual unfaithful couples who cannot help but stray and play-away. Flitting from this childhood, we see the rise in stardom of Sally White (Mia Farrow) - a waitress who, undergoing elocution lessons becomes a radio celebrity. Steeped in nostalgia, amid mahogany furniture and detailed, delicate lamps, is a thinly-disguised reflection on Allen’s childhood in the early 1940’s. Ending in 1944, the characters hope the war comes to an end. A family gathering around a radio to hear news of trapped child breaks your heart, while a sequence describing specific songs that are inextricably linked to his memory is relatable and personal. Rather than a clear, concise story, Radio Days is a warm series of romanticised vignettes harking back to an innocent time in America when ignorance was bliss.

Rating: 7/10

150W: Hannah and Her Sisters

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Hannah and Her Sisters (Dir. Woody Allen/1986)

Breaking the mirror into three pieces, Woody Allen uses himself, Michael Caine and Max Von Sydow to depict the regretful, lustful and intellectual sides to his personality respectively. The sisters that bind these men together are central to the story as we find how Hannah (Mia Farrow) and her sisters (Barbara Hershey and Dianne Wiest). Elliot (Caine) is married to Hannah and falls for her sister Lee (Hershey); Lee is romantically involved with Frederick; Holly (Wiest) is the final sister who’s restless as her partner-to-be (and Hannah’s ex-husband), hypochondriac Mickey (Allen), is undergoing a crisis of faith. Such personal themes regarding faith and love are tackled sensitively and balanced well with measured comedy that shows maturity and intellect. Allen is confident in his direction, framing moments from obscure angles and capturing the drama within the context of three Thanksgivings. Well-written women and weighty ideas prove how impressive Allen truly is.

Rating: 8/10

150W: Deconstructing Harry

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Deconstructing Harry (Dir. Woody Allen/1997)

Rewind, edit and re-run. Remodel, reconstitute and reconfigure. Memory and films hold many parallels. In Deconstructing Harry, Woody Allen toys with memory and the inspiration one finds for their art. Opening credits is an edited sequence of a woman stepping out of a cab. It’s disorientating, as the film can be, as Deconstructing Harry flips between fictional stories written by Harry (Woody Allen) and Harry’s life itself. This current incarnation has a crisis of identity – he is older and single with one child he can barely visit. The different “stories” he has written, which we see, are “Woody Allen” scenarios. Robin Williams plays an actor who is literally out of focus in one story while Julia Louis Dreyfus and Richard Benjamin are the hyper-sexual lovers interrupted by a blind Grandmother mid-session. Assuming you have asked whether his films are autobiographical in any way, this would be Allen’s insightful, considered answer.

Rating: 8/10