1. |
initialize
02:58
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I’ve been waiting for the end since like who knows when
Who knows when
If I make it to an end, will I love me then?
Love me then?
What thanks I get for being very best
I’m not the set, I’m the equation
The space I left that I could fit me in
Let’s play forget
Counter clockwise, I left just at the right time
13 months living just above the baseline
I can’t die, blood let from the same knife
Reset twice, no fight, I initialize
So you figured out
You’re a shooting star
Burning out fast on impact
I can live without whatever us you are
(I’ve been waiting for the end since like who knows when)
I’m not the part of me that’s part of me forever
I can’t excise a history to make a point
I’ll be around for you to talk it out whenever, if ever,
Or never again
Counter clockwise, I left just at the right time
13 months living just above the baseline
I can’t die, blood let from the same knife
Reset twice, no fight, I initialize
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2. |
down in flames
03:55
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I’m back
Sorry, it’s been a year, I figured that
You wouldn’t wanna hear from me ’til
I grew up, well I grew some
Hell, I’m still dumb as shit
Can’t relax
I know you’d never hate me like a fact
And we both know my judgement’s kinda ass
We got too numb
To the gruesome
Hell, I’m not over it
They’ll repeat no names
When you take my place
Bridges all go down in flames
A pact
To take a second breath before I act
When I should cry it’s reflexive to laugh
And it’s kinda funny once the moment’s passed
You do the math
A half
Of part of what I am is all you have
I’m never giving everything I can
My shadow keeps the door closed
Bodies the hurt on my behalf
Cut my nose off to spite my face
Shove the needle straight into my veins
They’ll repeat no names
When you take my place
Bridges all go down in flames
My head in my hands
Tail tucked between my legs
I know what I did
My head up my ass
Cause I can’t say it to your face
I know what I did
(What I don’t wanna hear you say)
What I don’t wanna hear you say
(But I wanna hear you say it)
But I wanna hear you say it
(No names when you take my place)
Cut my nose off to spite my face
Shove the needle straight into my veins
They’ll repeat no names
When you take my place
Bridges all go down in flames
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3. |
||||
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The curtain fell early
Noone turned the monitors on
I don’t wanna play anymore
Two years backstage can’t hurt me
Pretend I never talked to my mom
Hoping I can settle the score
It doesn’t get much easier than this, than this
I got it better than somebody, so I better be sorry
It doesn’t get much easier than this, well no shit
Yeah, god forbid
Shave off the corners
Tuck broad shoulders
Our same face it’s melting
Haven’t seen a change to my body in a couple of years
I wanted to leave the city, but I’m still here
And my dad keeps on calling just to try to scream in my ear
I told my mom I hope that he dies soon
Life could be easy in the passenger seat
But I’m the one at the wheel, I lose control of my speed
My reflection in the mirror is warped
I’m not who I was before
But who am I now? I wanna speak it out loud
What do you do with your voice if you don’t like the sound
I guess I’m still tryna figure that out
Shave off the corners
Tuck broad shoulders
Our same face it’s melting
Shave off the corners
Tuck broad shoulders
Our same face it’s melting
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4. |
i want it all (trophy)
03:01
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I looked at the spotlight and it hurt my eyes
Fell in love with the subtext before I saw the signs
And I hung all the flags under red lights
God it looks like a dead drop from this height
I want it all
I want it all
I want it all
Til my last breath, nobody takes it from me
I should feel lucky, but I’m upset
I did everything right, so explain it again -
I’m a noone, and her beauty’s complex?
All that separates us is a blank check
Say the word, I’m what you want
Integrity didn’t get me this far
Say the word, I’ll come undone
Oh I need that trophy
I want it all
I want it all
I want it all
Til my last breath, nobody takes it from me
Nobody takes it from me
Nobody takes it from me
Ten years you’ve owed me
I need that trophy
I’m gonna play it loud
Even to an empty crowd
Ten years you’ve owed me
I need that trophy
I wanna make you proud
But god I feel so low
Ten years you’ve owed me
I need that trophy
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5. |
montage
02:39
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Washed up, burnt out,
Running out of people to complain around
Locked away in my house
Isolate to straighten out
I don’t know how some of the shit I say comes out of my mouth
Pissing off the people I care about
Skip the credits, chapter selection,
Cut into a montage
Montage!
It’s sorta like being alive
Montage!
It’s sorta like being alive
Montage!
It’s sorta like being alive
Montage!
Talk talk talk talk like everybody’s listening
Why’s nobody listening?
Par for my conditioning
Talk talk talk talk like nobody’s listening
Why’s everybody listening?
Misunderstanding’s sickening
Interpolate as long as you’re still paying attention
Can’t buy your affection, but I earn it easily
Reverberate inside your head, I’m just an extension
Exist until reinvention
Cut into a montage
Montage!
It’s sorta like being alive
Montage!
It’s sorta like being alive
Montage!
It’s sorta like being alive
Montage!
Montage, I know the cheat codes
Montage, All the right words to say
Montage, I know it’s evil
Montage, But only as soon as I play
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6. |
||||
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I still wear my mask out
Cause I’m such a f*****
Get government funding
and I shouldn’t have it
Pull up to self check out
and I pull a fast one
Ring my prosciutto
up as bananas
I might be an asshole
Not fit to be head of a one person household
Stomping my cigs on the ground as I walk home
Your body’s a temple, my body’s a casket
No search for a moment
I’ve already had it
Present me with grocery
I’ll happily bag it
No search for a moment
I’ve already had it
Present me with grocery
I’ll happily bag it
I still get catcalled
in jeans and a t-shirt
and when I wear high heels
I still get misgendered
Don’t know what I’m smoking
I know it’s the cheap ones
I don’t have a trust fund
I don’t have an income
No search for a moment
I’ve already had it
Present me with grocery
I’ll happily bag it
Doesn’t she play the bass now
For a little band in Oregon state
Works mornings at the Amazon warehouse
Cross the river into VC WA
No search for a moment
I’ve already had it
Present me with grocery
I’ll happily bag it
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7. |
the lich
03:25
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I got way too out my head, ending it was picture perfect
Came up the stairs and found me dead
(I could take you with me)
I lay rotting in my bed. lich queen is risen
I shed my mortal flesh
(and death will feed)
Sever a soul hung by a thread
A lifetime of touchy subjects
Predetermined disconnect
(I could take you with me)
I draw malice from intent, lich queen is risen
I end my world again
(and death will feed)
Paint the drain in harsh bright red
Grow into a triggered affect
Learn to love what makes you end
(I could take you with me)
Never nearly newlywed, I’m so pathetic
Fall for violence instead
I got way too out my head, ending it was picture perfect
Came up the stairs and found me dead
(I could take you with me)
I lay rotting in my bed, lich queen is risen
I shed my mortal flesh
(and death will feed)
I’m afflicted, I’m unsafe
(you’re growing desperate)
God, won’t you touch me and make it go away
(lich queen is risen)
I’m afflicted, I’m unsafe
(you’re growing desperate)
God, won’t you touch me and make it go away
I got way too out my head, ending it was picture perfect
Came up the stairs and found me dead
(I could take you with me)
I lay rotting in my bed, lich queen is risen
I shed my mortal flesh
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8. |
||||
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I take myself down to indigo park
Two miles south from our house in the dark
They tore up the grass just to pour in some wood chips
Ruining beautiful things is an art
Listening back to my songs in the car
Pointing out all of my favorite parts
And talking right over the verse where I sing straight to you
So we can stay where we are
Giving up on me now would be smart
God knows I could tear us apart
I can make space in my heart
In the same way that the sun is a star
If it’s far away by a matter of days
Then I can’t get it caught in my arc
I hate it better now that I’m free
Spite all the people who look up to me
Spill out my guts and throw up in the street
Count all the windows 'til I fall asleep
Oh, oh God knows, God knows
Oh, you should just go
Giving up on me now would be smart
God knows I could tear us apart
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9. |
bug
06:22
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I know why I’m here, but I don’t want you to touch me
Tell me to play nice, I should feel lucky
That somebody wants this alien body
Irreparable changes to His plan
Are all that make up me
If you knew me it might kill you
If you knew me it might kill you
Bleed through the season, keep you at a distance
There must be a reason for God to give me this sickness
Leave my loved ones behind, only whole in my absence
Door in the back of my mind with all of me in it
I deserve nothing
I deserve torture
I’m a bug on my back and you rip my limbs off
If it’s not me, then who is she, and who are you?
If it’s not me, then who is she, and who are you?
If it’s not me, then who is she, and who are you?
If it’s not me, then who is she, and who are you?
If I’m not me, then who is she, and who are you?
If I’m not me, then who is she, and who are you?
If I’m not me, then who is she, and who are you?
If I’m not me, then who is she, and who are you?
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10. |
something cool
04:26
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Shove my things into a carryon
My knees against the front seat for six hours
Ginger ale I wasted money on
It costs a lot to save a little
I act like a Californian
What’s up with this rain in early May?
Apologize ‘cause I can’t stay for long
I’m barely breaking even with a string of false good luck
I will never earn enough
Noone notices the girl who crashed the party after everyone’s asleep
Came home to find that something’s off
I couldn't sleep or keep track of the time
I tried to live and got it wrong
I can’t take being bad at something
If I ever have it all, I didn’t do it just so you could hear anybody’s voice except my own
But I don’t get to make the call
Even I don’t wanna listen to me talk
From a string of false good luck
I will never earn enough
Noone notices the girl who crashed the party after everyone’s asleep
If I’m not fucked, why will I never earn enough
Nobody notices the girl who crashed the party after everyone’s asleep
I’m still here, oh what torture
Why do I deserve this more than her?
I’m still here, oh what torture
I’m 24 now and she’ll be 16 forever
Our hell was heaven sent
And it kills me to remember, but I’ll die if I forget
If I’m not fucked, why will I never earn enough
Nobody notices the girl who crashed the party after everyone’s asleep
Before I bail can you show me something new?
Something in a major key?
Before I bail can I tell you something cool?
You’ve got nothing to prove to me
Before I bail can you show me something new?
Something in a major key?
Before I bail can I tell you something cool?
You’ve got nothing to prove to me
Before I bail can you show me something new?
Something in a major key?
Before I bail can I tell you something cool?
You’ve got nothing to prove to me
Before I bail can you show me something new?
Something in a major key?
Before I bail can I tell you something cool?
You’ve got nothing to prove to me
Before I bail can you show me something new?
Something in a major key?
Before I bail can I tell you something cool?
You’ve got nothing to prove to me
Before I bail can you show me something new?
Something in a major key?
Before I bail can I tell you something cool?
You’ve got nothing to prove to me
I know I know, I just wanna go home
Supine, spacing, under the blankets
I’m most myself when I’m alone
I go I go, I can stop but I can’t slow down
Facing your hesitation, c’mon, we’ve got this!
I love you the most!
String of false good luck, I will never earn enough
No one notices the girl who crashed the party after everyone’s asleep
When shit gets tough it takes a lot to mess me up
I will never hurt enough
I will never hurt enough
I will never hurt enough
I’m done
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