Did we have to go? Did we have to wake? The new dream "real" is a bitter ache Still beating heart of what we want, And is it left in the house we haunt? The sets remain, the center held It isn't just an empty shell And the dance floor clears, should we just pretend? Where do you go when the music ends? Does the future come when the world moves on? What do you do when the angers gone? What do you do when the angers gone? Does the future come when the world moves on? Where do you go when the music ends? And the dance floor clears, should we just pretend, It isn’t just an empty shell, The sets remain, the center held. And is it left? In the house we haunt, Still beating heart of what we want The new dream, “real” is a bitter ache Did we have to go? Did we have to wake? What do you do when the angers gone? (Did we have to go, did we have to wake?) Does the future come when the world moves on? (The new dream "real" is a bitter ache) Where do you go when the music ends? (Still beating heart of what we want) And the dance floor clears, should we just pretend, (And is it left in the house we haunt) It isn’t just an empty shell, (The sets remain, the center held) The sets remain, the center held. (It isn't just an empty shell) And is it left? In the house we haunt, (Does the future come when the world moves on?) Still beating heart of what we want (Where do you go when the music's gone?) The new dream, “real” is a bitter ache (Does the future come when the world moves on?) Did we have to go? Did we have to wake? (What do you do when the angers gone)

I came forth in a spirit of exploration Upon a door that resembled nothing so much as a mouth, And stepped past it’s threshold into a hallway that resemble nothing so much as a throat I came upon the tangled mass of wire I beheld crawling up the walls the mycelial pulse of veins (god dead and alive and bleeding) And as I lifted my knife I imagined for myself the tender hands of a surgeon (god dead and alive and bleeding) (God a House a cathedral a building) And as blood poured down those very hands, warm and alive (god dead and alive and bleeding) I cupped in trembling palms and lifted to my lips the very substance of the divine (god dead and alive and bleeding)(God a House a cathedral a building) (God a writhing pulsing meat thing) Render unto me, that which is mine. Killer’s heart, Surgeon’s hand Drowned in blood, I understand By tooth and claw, an end, a kiss Cured with poison on my lips I knew without knowing that within this very blood (god dead and alive and bleeding) Germinated the spores of my ascension (god dead and alive and bleeding)(God a House a cathedral a building) Unfurling and unfolding limbs, under my skin (god dead and alive and bleeding) Muttering in my mind a thousand unimagined prayers (god dead and alive and bleeding)(God a House a cathedral a building) (God a writhing pulsing meat thing) Pulling at the seams of me (god dead and alive and bleeding) The inevitable undoing of me (god dead and alive and bleeding)(God a House a cathedral a building) Terror blooms inside of me (god dead and alive and bleeding) And is indecipherable from ecstasy (god dead and alive and bleeding)(God a House a cathedral a building)(God a writhing pulsing meat thing) Render unto me, that which is mine Render my flesh, the living divine Render my flesh Rend my flesh [Labored breathing and sounds of pain] God dead and alive and bleeding God a House a cathedral a building God a writhing pulsing meat thing Killer’s heart, Surgeon’s hand Drowned in blood, I understand By tooth and claw, an end, a kiss Cured with poison on my lips I call out to the infinite The pattern embraces When I invoke thee I tremble

[spoken] I dreamed I was invited to a get together of some kind. Not quite a dinner party, but not far off. I was invited by my friends. I knew they were my friends, but none of them were familiar. They seemed too flat, too blank to be recognizable. It was all very normal. Small talk, a little bit of drinking, sitting around the table. It was all *very* normal, but there was something wrong. I could tell. Nobody else seemed to notice, but I *knew* , because I could feel the house’s heart beating. It’s blood under my skin, it’s thoughts in my mind. Not thoughts I could understand, they could barely be conceptualized as thoughts but I could feel them Like being hallowed out, like being made into a *vessel* [sung] We dance though no one is around And when we sing it’s like there is no sound (one last dance before the dawn) The world’s moved on or so we’ve found (What can you do when the anger’s gone) (Nothing left in the house we haunt) The light turned out the dancehall drowned (one last dance before the dawn) (she’s the death we want) We dance though no one is around (What can you do when the anger’s gone) (Nothing left in the house we haunt) And when we sing it’s like there is no sound (one last dance before the dawn) (she’s the death we want) The world’s moved on so we have found (What can you do when the anger’s gone) (Nothing left in the house we haunt) The light turned out the dancehall drowned (one last dance before the dawn) (she’s the death we want) The lights turned out the dancehall drowned (she’s the death we want) The lights turned out the dancehall drowned (she’s the death we want) The lights turned out the dancehall drowned (she’s the death we want) The lights turned out the dancehall drowned (she’s the death we want)

It speaks in a language I do not understand And crawls up my back And twitches in my hands Under my skin Under my skin Where does it end? Where do I begin? I call out in the darkness In a terror without name Occlusion grants no respite And I cannot look away I drink sleep by the measure To call the silence down It seeps in like dark water And I fear within its arms i’ll drown It speaks in a language I do not understand And slithers up my back And twitches in my trembling hands My daily dose of poison leaves an aching in my head Am I better off still living if I’m like the living dead? Invocations hang me over and it’s heavy in my eyes And I’ve shattered all the mirrors because that wasn’t me inside And light will grip you tight by throat of your devotion But it’s mercy never saves I could let it’s grip grow tighter, mind ever burning brighter But I’m afraid to suffocate There is a hole in my heart… And a tunnel is an eye I wonder what might enter When I open them up wide Crowned in stars, my chest aflame Alight with brightest dread Threads of thought go tight around me And heavy grows the head

THIS IS NOT FOR YOU I cannot forget Carcosa where black stars hang in the heavens; where the shadows of men's thoughts lengthen in the afternoon, when the twin suns sink into the lake of Hali; and my mind will bear forever the memory of the Pallid Mask. I pray God will curse the writer, as the writer has cursed the world with this beautiful, stupendous creation, terrible in its simplicity, irresistible in its truth. It came first as a breath on the back of my neck, soft. Then as the cold brush of fingertips. And then a voice that shivered in my spine, And split open my mind And squirmed in through the cracks in my skull like worms Do you ever remember the labyrinth? Do you ever understand what I’m trying to fucking say to you. I’m starting to think there's something really wrong with me. Deep Sea, deep sky Angels in permutation Circles on circles Symbols reoccur and converge And emerge analogous to one another A tower is a tunnel is an eye is a mouth You must remember that language is The labyrinth Where do we go when the music ends? Is it death we want? Circles on circles, wheels on wheels I call out to the infinite The Pattern Embraces Layers on layers on layers belie The broken heart, the opened eye My god hast thou forsaken me? Or worse, am I beloved by thee? Recall the fearful mouth that cries Out, that “even death may die” But in truth, this I deny, For what is this but life on life? Life that lives beyond its means, Life that don’t mean anything. This house knows only how to haunt, Do we desire or only want? I wish the whirling water could See this world and call it good, But all that’s bright and all that’s kind Is not enough, keep that in mind! How might we break these things apart? I dream dread skies, I dream black stars! I am the sins that I commit, I am, myself, the labyrinth. Tear from me this rotten heart, That I might see where New may start! Towards comfort’s call, we tread in error. Anxiety, I deny thee. Give me Terror.

(We dance though no one’s left around And when we sing it’s like there is no sound The worlds moved on so we have found. The lights turned out the dancehall drowned) (One last dance before the dawn What do you do when the anger’s gone) So. It’s all about blood? You are always looking for excuses To put your hands inside each other In a thousand little ways… You’re all obsessed with death! You disgust me. Goddamnit. Do you hear me? Do you fucking hear me? Are we playing god again? Are we playing god again!?! Fuck you. (I guess it’s death we want) You know i’ve solved the problem of evil. You’re just not going to like it (Whether what we want is death) (It’s what we’re gonna get) Sing to me, O muse I care not of what A pale green and golden tide Washes in out, through open tunnels Opened eyes I- I…can’t seem to recall now What came before the fall? How Did the words go? I used to have it memorized… I fear my mind- I fear my mind. You come to me tender voice With gentle hand To hold my wounded heart and- Fuck you! Don’t touch me Don’t touch me I know blood… And I can do miracles. I can do miracles! Can’t I? Can’t I? Whences comes the flood? Massive blood Loss curtain close God only knows It’s so fucking derivative Do you hear me, I said do you goddamn hear me? Blood is compulsory You traffic in empty cruelty and cheap misery All artists are fucking sadists Another nonsense soliloquy Even I don’t know what I mean What you mean Spare me! (I wish I could tell you) Your intricate mechanistic explanations of the universe Your absurdist platitudes All your myriadic attitudes Your love in the face of tragedy (We are playing god again) Is that what you want from me? Just rip my heart out, your bastards At least that’s honest, then you’ll have your fucking answers. Look, look it doesn’t hurt but it certainly stings! How much can I write and not say anything!!!! I need… I need… I need a drink. I need to sleep. (We dance though no one’s left around And when we sing it’s like there is no sound The worlds moved on so we have found. The lights turned out the dancehall drowned) What does a man have to do to get A little goddamn peace and quiet around here! So fucking derivative. But it’s not like I can take it back! Still I feel the fingers on my spine The strings in my back! Still. For now It’s not real I want to hold your hand against my chest and say Feel what I feel! Feel what I feel! Feel what I feel! So fucking self indulgent So fucking self indulgent Oh god That’s unsalvageable C'mon people, one more time, let’s take it from the top

First my hands betray me When they start to tremble I wonder…does my mind betray me? I still hear the voices of angels Does my heart betray me Where my blood runs cold It used to be fear But now? Something else has taken hold Where does my body begin Where does my body begin Where does my body begin Where does my body- Wrapped around my throat Stitched into my back Do I claim this motion? Or is it only fact. My head has grow too heavy To lift it from the bed My curatives assure That I am like the living dead Does my heart betray me? If my blood no longer stirs If used to be fear But now? I’m sure it’s something worse Where does my body begin Heart still beating Is that something? Blood still pumping Blood still pumping. My daily dose of poison leaves it’s fingers in my brain They contract and drag me down when I awake…I do awake I could let it wrap around me, embrace and surround me But I’m afraid to suffocate I’m afraid to suffocate I’m afraid to suffocate

Once again in darkness I invoke thee, As though I forget thy terror in thy absence But it is not so, I recall and call upon thee in understanding I call thy visage up from below the waves That I might see again how darkness breaks I know well enough what it will do to me. Still, I invoke thee I invoke thee I invoke thee It goes on too long It crawls under my skin I must open up my eyes And let the burning fire in There is no refuge in darkness There is no refuge in silence Both things are to my heart I think, a kind of violence There is refuge in darkness There is refuge in silence I drink sleep as a curative A gentle kind of violence When I invoke thee I When I invoke thee I When I invoke thee I Tremble My daily dose of poison leaves an aching in my head Am I better off still living if I’m like the living dead? Invocations hang me over and it’s heavy in my eyes But I cannot look away! I will drown my mind in light… I call out to the infinite The pattern embraces

Window panes fogged over Ceiling stained, hungover Rain kiss my cold shoulder Can’t be blamed it’s over Heart sank down and counting Mind goes blank I can’t think Painting rings round again, Sickening, the loose threads Hooks of silver flashing Reflex and reaction Go on dousing fires In retrograde, a liar Death before desire Wax wings soaring higher Try to say the same things In new ways, disgusting Scabs picked back to bleeding Endlessly, endlessly End Less Ly You people make me Make. My. Self. Sick. Love me or hate me Just. Make. It. Quick. Don’t try to look deep in my eyes Don’t try to take seriously anything say they’re only lines Don’t you worry now, it’s only a dream Don’t come closer now, I’m only asleep Backlit gods, I wonder Dark waves pull me under Heavy head is hanging Threads pulled tight and damning Window panes fogged over Ceiling stains hang over Stayed hands, don’t come closer Call me when I’m sober

1234 Are you tired? Cause i’m tired. I’m a lot of things [all I can say is] In the end, I’m a lot of things. [whatever you do, don't listen to that guy.] I don’t know what you want from me [Do you know why?] I never know what anybody wants. [do you hear those sharp threads? [those points between points] Is this music? [those sounds between sounds] Is this music for me? [and it’s painful, isn’t it?] [the thing about this is it’s a exercise in [unintelligible]] [and an aspect of. Of the self! Right?] How far can we get? How far can we get? You understand right that I”m not… [so fucking self indulgent] I’m not trying I don’t want you to be comfortable here! [not that you’re afraid of self indulgence] You understand that? You understand that? [are you afraid right now?] [how could you be when it’s not real!] I am. [it’s not real.] [unintelligible] [cruelty wasn’t cruel enough] [it still has form. It still has shape.] [i don’t have-i don’t have..any…] [no no no no no. I’m in control] Goddamn it. [i’m not like that] [i’m not like that other face] I don’t know. [i’m not like that other shape] [i am the one that’’s in control] [i am the one that’s in control] Are you tired? Because I’m tired. [this is an experiment] [this is an exercise] Are you tired? Because I’m tired. [this is a work of will] [a work of art] [a work. Of art.] But i’m a lot of things I’m a lot of things and it all.. [unintelligible] [does it hurt?] [does it hurt?] [does it hurt?] I’m trying to work something out. [those sharp notes] I’m trying to understand how the pieces fit together [those sharp sounds] And I can say a lot of words [every SH SH SH] I can say a lot of words [does that strike? Is that true?] I can feel them- I can feel the currents between them {does it?} I can feel the connections but [does it] [unintelligible] [hurt you?] There's no sense. There's no sense. [does it hurt you?] I can’t I can’t seem to understand any of it [i want it too.] I don’t know what to do with it. [I mean it too.] [i mean i mean i mean.] [everything i do has been too gentle!] [too soft on the old ears] [too soft on the old mind.] Are you tired? [tooo structuuurred] Because I’m tired. [i’m TIRED] Is this what I wanted? Is this what I wanted? Heart still beating, Is that something? No it’s nothing, No, i’m nothing. [isometrical looking down] I am going to the butcher shop [asymmetrical all around] I am going to the graveyard [indefensible in this sound] I am building a flesh house [isometrical looking down] {i am playing god again] I am going to the scrapheap [asymmetrical all around] I am going to the drawing board [indefensible in this sound] [i am playing god again] I am hollowing myself out! [isometrical looking down] I am going to the butcher shop [asymmetrical all around] I am going to the graveyard [indefensible in this sound] I am building a flesh house [isometrical looking down] {i am playing god again] I am going to the scrapheap [asymmetrical all around] I am going to the drawing board [indefensible in this sound] [i am playing god again] I am hollowing myself out! When I invoke thee I- [circles on] Heart still beating, [circles on] [circles] Is that something? [circles] When I invoke thee I- [wheels on] No it’s nothing, [wheels on] [wheels] No, i’m nothing. [wheels] When I invoke thee I- When I invoke thee I- [circles on] Heart still beating, [circles on] [circles] Is that something? [circles] When I invoke thee I- [wheels on] No it’s nothing, [wheels on] [wheels] No, i’m nothing. [wheels] When I invoke thee I- My daily dose of poison leaves it’s fingers in my brain Broken glass and splinters Day by day by day by day Help me, help me Can’t you see? My god, hast thou forsaken me? Thy light shines Down In thy Voice I drown.. I scrape out the inside of my skull My thoughts are thine I spilt myself open on the blade My heart is thine I call out to the infinite My soul is thine! I offer all I am to thee, I ask; canst thou save me? Down upon me thy light shines It burns me from the inside It fills my heart! It fills my mind! All around, I see thee Please help me. Please help me Help me.I call oui call out to the infinite the pattern embraces me I call out to the infii8te the pattern embraces eme I call out to the iunifnite the patter embraces me The mapppe gja othis r tgd this is all I cn ab do this is all I can do there is no sense there is no sense god help me god help me god help me god help me gdo help me god help me god help me tshof thy light shines upon e me a there =ut fills my heart it fills my mind it burns it burns it all around I se the e please help me please mhe lp eme thasd this is what I want is this what i cahbeireujwsi this iwhat I want is this what io want its this t wethis h is this what Oh god Oh god

THE HOUSE ITSELF IS SICK. THE AIR IS HEAVY AND IT GLITTERS. HE LIES IN THE COFFIN OF HIS BED. DREAMS EAT HIS MIND. The twitch and the shudder A fish on a line God, above water To him, shrouded in light Drunk, he stumbles back to bed, Bruised less of body more of pride Crumples in the darkness Weighted down with signs Dreams, in the sick house Alive, Alive Sick, in the dream house Where he lies. THE HOUSE ITSELF IS SICK DREAMS EAT HIS MIND “What’s real? How could I know?” He wonders aloud. “Have I an anchor?” “Who could call me down?” “Heavy hangs my weary head” “The crown rests on my brow” “Drowned in starlight, am I lost?” “To take my final bow?” Dreams, in the sick house Alive, Alive Sick, in the dream house Where he lies. My words mean nothing My hands are not my own I cannot even cry As I lie- THE HOUSE ITSELF DREAMS IT’S WALLS FLUTTER HE LIES IN THE COFFIN OF HIS BED HE LIES HE LIES HE LIES. The empty eyed artist In porcelain laid What hand, one wonders, Pulled down to his grave And what has he that he can call his own? Oh. With the blade he sympathizes Marble made man Drawing blood from stone Lazarus rises And still he dies alone THE HOUSE ITSELF IS SICK WHERE HE LIES HE LIES HE LIES

The Architect: You know I’m actually uh, letting you guide a lot of my process here The Mask: I’m so glad. The Architect: But, you know I just can’t shake- The Mask: I wouldn’t worry about it. The Architect: Ok, but I can- I can hear… The Mask: Tell us what you-! …Hang in there. The Architect: Ok, ok yeah, you’re right. The Mask: Completely. Right? The Architect: Right. Shapes unfinished, dreams on dreams My/Her/His Heart, The Machine. You will take a path faster and more lonesome A travelers path, bright and dreamless And so go you, out over the grey expanse. And so, I heard the light and saw the song The shortest paths have always felt so long Maybe it was just the fever breaking But I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking The water will be mirror flat, the water will be mirror still It will offer you the mirror’s choice, and you will be unafraid Its name will be nothing to you The architect is dead. You will hear these words. But you will not hear them here You move, as though your limbs are bound And when you sing it’s like there is no sound The record spins around, around The end has never yet been found The Architect: Why do I talk to you? The Mask: Who else? The Architect: Is this what you wanted? The Mask: Is it what you wanted? The Architect: Fuck off! The Mask: An unlocked door doesn’t force you to open it. The Architect: What, so that makes you innocent? The Mask: I’m not innocent. I’m not anything. The Architect: Yes you are! You’re- The Mask: No, I’m not. I’m a mask. You made me. The Architect: Maybe, but I don’t control you! Let me see it properly! The Mask: Are you sure that’s what you want? The Architect: …No. But I’ve already seen too much…it’s poisoned me… The Mask: Poison is relative.

Down in the dark I can’t get my eyes open Drown in my heart- Beat and wine and the ocean Salt permeates the skin- Barrier broken And something Forgets itself Only a notion Shards follow the flood And I swallow them down (and I drown, and I drown, and I drown) I can’t get it Can’t get it out Blood pumps in the liquid heart My spine set burning in the dark Blood slips through my weary hands Where they clutch the blade again Blood wells in my aching mind As from the door I turn my eyes Blood runs down my cheek, my jaw Commanded thus to be in awe The Angel speaks; “Be not afraid,” “A prophet yes,” “But not a saint.” “Thou shalt be touched” “But not be saved” “By thy desire” “Thou shalt bleed and break” Each line that here I’ve spoken Is one I’ve thought before Still, don’t close the curtain Before my last encore In dreams I’ve glimpsed a figure there unmasked Cried out please don’t leave me just because I ask The body is a world that I do not understand, Desire art thou my foe, though masquerading as a friend? A lover is a broken glass, a sword, a bloody hand That comes to me, in restless dreams, I see that world again Light bursting through my skin Needles undulating like sea urchin spines Gold flows in my veins My body comes apart into disparate pieces Mirrored vision Composing eye Decomposing, I Dysregulation O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself the king of infinite space, Were it not that I have bad dreams

The architect, lies in his grave And of his bones, a ruin made All turns to dust, our lonely days And from our eyes, the veil shall fall away Haven’t I been here before? These same symbols on the floor? Repetition 24 It’s all so circular. (I was going to the butcher shop, I was going to the graveyard) (Isometrical looking down) Where am I going, where have I been? (Asymmetrical all around) (I’ve been building the same house) (Indefensible in this sound) And is it worth knowing, am I still going in? (I was going to the butcher shop, I was going to the graveyard) (Isometrical looking down) Cycle, circle, ceiling sinking all the same (Asymmetrical all around) (I’ve been trying to get out) (Indefensible in this sound) Reflect, reflexive asking; Am I sane? Am I sane? Am I sane? (I was going to the butcher shop, I was going to the graveyard) (Isometrical looking down) see me where the mirror breaks (Oh sleeper) (Asymmetrical all around) (I’ve been building the same house) (Indefensible in this sound) call my name before I wake (You are bound to wake) (I was going to the butcher shop, I was going to the graveyard) (Isometrical looking down) send me out into the lake (Grim morning) (Asymmetrical all around) (I’ve been building the same house) (Indefensible in this sound) my pockets full of stones (You rise up from your grave) I was going to the butcher shop, I was going to the graveyard (Are we playing god again?) (the love of god is infinite) I’ve been building the same house (Just to have a game to win) (the love of god is intimate) I was going to the butcher shop, I was going to the graveyard (Are we playing god again) (nonetheless deliverance) I’ve been trying to get out (Just to have-) (feels not unlike indifference) Circles on circles Wheels on wheels Circles on circles Wheels on wheels Haven’t I been here before? These same symbols on the floor? Repetition 24 It’s all so circular. Haven’t I been here before? These same symbols on the floor? Repetition 24 It’s all so circular. Haven’t I been here before? These same symbols on the floor? Repetition 24 It’s all so circular. Haven’t I been here before? Haven’t I been here before? Haven’t I been here before? Haven’t I been here before? Haven’t I been here before? Haven’t I been here before? Haven’t I been here before? Haven’t I been here before? It’s all so {Circular} One man’s dose of poison is another’s curative For one to burn alive, is for another just to live Though one might find me lying in the grave The Dreamer. Is Still. Awake! Down in the depths Where the worms whirl and writhe Where the flesh of a god Through the cracks does arise Where the sky is black And the sun is despised Where the house is sick And the song is a lie And down in the grave Where the architect lies See the white of his bones And the whites of his eyes The architect was born With stars in his mind And the architect is dead But I am alive