with duality imposing,

yet with heart … so gently a-beating

and mind … so clearly cognising.

Of vast expansiveness,

infinity embraced in mortal humanness.

With nature transcendent

yet always immanent.

Of Wisdom, Happiness and Love compounding;

thus Eternity, Immortality, Consciousness revealing.

All ensconced in human frame.

That, we are.

That, you are.

That, I am.

What higher calling … to a life fulfilling?

With heart steadfast made … and mind re-moulded, clarified

through spiritual values pursued … the mundane, balanced and wisely used.

From Consciousness re-cognised … as with space exemplified,

unending Peace within to know … and natural harmony to friend and foe.

Such is life fulfilled … heart with joy replete … mind with wisdom’s ways complete,

A flowing equanimity … on claimed Infinity … with grasp of Reality.

Such is purposed life … the spring for tolerance of strife.

From Consciousness as Be-ing, shining … and with inspired be-coming

till of life bereft … inevitable at death,

into the Now of Eternity

as Presence pure, Awareness unconditioned, Fulfilment complete,

Sat Cit Ananda

Absolute

forever

That, we are.

That, you are.

That, I am.

Sundari:  You are most welcome, Martin.  It’s a pleasure hearing from you as you are a clear and honest thinker too. You are right, a true Vedanta teacher does not sugar coat anything because that is not helpful for the inquirer, assuming they are qualified.  If you are not ready for nonduality, you will not like this and will look for something that does not challenge the ego identity.  We tell you upfront who you are, but we also tell you what stands in the way of not only hearing that but actualizing it.  There is a very big difference between the two.

Martin: I can see more clearly that I am in a hurry to remove beginningless ignorance. Or perhaps it is ignorance itself in the form of rajas, pretending to remove itself.

Sundari: This tendency to rush once you start understanding what the nondual teachings mean is very common. Ignorance is painful and one wants to be rid of it as soon as possible.  But it’s not so easy, unfortunately.

Martin: Looking back, I recognize this same rajasic doer from my worldly life and later the Neo-Advaita phase. This tendency to rush for quick results has clearly followed me into my self-inquiry journey as well, and your response has helped me see it more clearly.

Sundari:  It is very good that you acknowledge this tendency because it can be a very big obstacle to Self-actualization.  Self-realization is a big deal for most inquirers, and with it comes the tendency to believe you are ‘done’.  But that is rarely true.  Usually, Self-realization is where the work of self-inquiry begins. The problem is always that the ego identity does not give up easily. The mind gets it, but ignorance is subtle and hardwired.

Martin: I would still like to speak with you after developing some qualifications and making the donation. However, I now understand my focus: to develop the four qualifications by cultivating sattva and reducing rajas through Karma Yoga and Tri Guna Vibhava Yoga, while continuing a steady and systematic study of Vedanta. This includes Ramji’s 300+ hours of videos, his books, and your trilogy, all without rushing. I can see that trying to force the process is itself the rajasic doer. The mind must be prepared before Self-knowledge can be assimilated.

Sundari:  You are most welcome Martin, we are here to help you in any way we can.

Martin: Finally, I deeply appreciate your book What Is the Body? I need to study it more deeply. Your integration of modern hormone theory—especially insulin management—with Tri Guna Yoga was outstanding. I have not seen Vedanta and contemporary science combined in this way before.

It also made me reflect that while much attention is given to purifying the subtle body, comparatively little is given to the gross body beyond general dietary labels (veganism & vegetarianism). Your explanation of caring for the gross body through sound scientific principles and its role in supporting a sattvic mind, was both clear and valuable.

Sundari: Thank you.  Purifying the body is a very important factor, as are all lifestyle issues. An unhealthy lifestyle or body impacts the mind, making peace of mind much more difficult.

Om

Sundari

Mike: Based on my own journey so far, what is Vedanta’s precise view of time?

Sundari:  Even though time is not real from the nondual perspective, we experience it from the jiva perspective. Without a sequential process guiding experience, life would be total chaos. Imagine if everything happened at once!

In mithya, time is the space between events/experience, which are recorded by memory, an important function of the mind. If we could not remember experiences we could neither evaluate or assimilate their meaning, nor what is going on in us and our environment. Our intellect would not be functional, and we could not make sense of our mental/emotional state. This is why memory loss is the signature of the onset of dementia.

Time as a continuum can be divided into past present and future.   The past can be divided into yesterday, last week and last year.   Each of these time periods can be further divided into smaller increments.  Which hour yesterday do you mean, 9 AM or 10 PM?.   And what minute of 9 AM are you referring to; 9:21 or 11:17?   Minutes break down into seconds and every additional unit keeps breaking down into smaller and smaller increments.   Whatever is created is not created by addition, which would increase the substantiality of the unit and give us something to talk about, but it is created by dividing concepts, aka words.   Has anything actually been created?  If there is no “first,” there is no second or third.  So, does time exist apart from the idea it exists?

Furthermore, each stage is perceived as a sequence of “now’s” – now, now, now, now, etc.   A series of nows stretches into a continuum only when you step back and reflect on it.  In the moment itself there is only “now.”  Or take Pointillism, for instance.  A single point has no dimension when you touch the paper with the pen, yet a collection of points gives rise to a pattern of measurable space.   Neither the dot nor the spatial pattern is real since both seem to be real from different points of view.  Two “reals” generates *seeming* realities but no actual reality.  Seeming realities are as good a non-existent.

Here’s one more inquiry that will give you the gift of Eternal Time.  When the world was created with a big “bang,” did time begin?   The bang shattered the undifferentiated material mass, but the next event was a scattering of the various chunks of matter throughout space, which, science tells us is still going on.   Scattering can’t happen until shattering has happened.  Just as there is no time when shattering happens, is there time during the scattering “now?”   No, because  it is impossible to determine where the shattering ended and the scattering began.   You need a third point to allow you to measure the distance between event 1 and event 2.  That event hasn’t happened, so there is no way to tell the difference between the shattering and the scattering.  If you want time, you are going to have to wait a very long time to get it.  But by that time you will be dead many times over.  Luckily, you are immortal so you can wait to find out what time it is.

Here’s another fact: time can’t begin because it isn’t real.  And if it were real it couldn’t begin either because reality is non-dual Existence shining as unborn Consciousness.  It was not shattered and scattered when the Big Bang banged because it is immutable…nothing changes it.   If nothing changes it, nothing changes you because you are immortal Existence shining as whole and complete ever-present Consciousness.   It can only be that way because reality is non-dual.  If it were a duality then you might be a mortal entity, but you aren’t.
“So what,” you say.  
“So now is eternal,” say I.  
“So?”
“So you can stop rushing about like a chicken with its head cut off, worrying if you are going to get what you want before you die.”
“Because?”
“Because there is only one immortal Self and you are it. ”   

Om and prem

Sundari

In mithya, time is the space between events/experience, which are recorded by memory, an important function of the mind. If we could not remember experiences we could neither evaluate or assimilate their meaning, nor what is going on in us and our environment. Our intellect would not be functional, and we could not make sense of our mental/emotional state. This is why memory loss is the signature of the onset of dementia.

Time as a continuum can be divided into past present and future.   The past can be divided into yesterday, last week and last year.   Each of these time periods can be further divided into smaller increments.  Which hour yesterday do you mean, 9 AM or 10 PM?.   And what minute of 9 AM are you referring to; 9:21 or 21:17?   Minutes break down into seconds and every additional unit keeps breaking down into smaller and smaller increments.   Whatever is created is not created by addition, which would increase the substantiality of the unit and give us something to talk about, but it is created by dividing concepts, aka words.   Has anything actually been created?  If there is no “first,” there is no second or third.  So, does time exist apart from the idea it exists?

Furthermore, each stage is perceived as a sequence of “now’s” – now, now, now, now, etc.   A series of nows stretches into a continuum only when you step back and reflect on it.  In the moment itself there is only “now.”  Or take Pointillism, for instance.  A single point has no dimension when you touch the paper with the pen, yet a collection of points gives rise to a pattern of measurable space.   Neither the dot nor the spatial pattern is real since both seem to be real from different points of view.  Two “reals” generates *seeming* realities but no actual reality.  Seeming realities are as good a non-existent.

Here’s one more inquiry that will give you the gift of Eternal Time.  When the world was created with a big “bang,” did time begin?   The bang shattered the undifferentiated material mass, but the next event was a scattering of the various chunks of matter throughout space, which, science tells us is still going on.   Scattering can’t happen until shattering has happened.  Just as there is no time when shattering happens, is there time during the scattering “now?”   No, because  it is impossible to determine where the shattering ended and the scattering began.   You need a third point to allow you to measure the distance between event 1 and event 2.  That event hasn’t happened, so there is no way to tell the difference between the shattering and the scattering.  If you want time, you are going to have to wait a very long ‘time’ to get it.  But by that time you will be dead many times over.  Luckily, you are immortal so you can wait to find out what time it is.

Here’s another fact: time can’t begin because it isn’t real.  And if it were real it couldn’t begin either because reality is non-dual Existence shining as unborn Consciousness.  It was not shattered and scattered when the Big Bang banged because it is immutable…nothing changes it.   If nothing changes it, nothing changes you because you are immortal Existence shining as whole and complete ever-present Consciousness.   It can only be that way because reality is non-dual.  If it were a duality then you might be a mortal entity, but you aren’t.
“So what,” you say.  
“So now is eternal,” say I.  
“So?”
“So you can stop rushing about like a chicken with its head cut off, worrying if you are going to get what you want before you die.”
“Because?”
“Because there is only one immortal Self and you are it. ”   

Om and prem

Sundari

On Karma Yoga and Compensation
In my professional life, I had stopped advocating for raises, thinking that results belong to Ishwara. However, your response suggests that Karma Yoga includes taking appropriate action, including standing up for oneself when required.

This raises some confusion for me. From the standpoint of Jnana Yoga, I understand that I am already whole and complete. If that is so, why should I seek anything, including fair compensation? Wouldn’t that imply I am still seeking fulfillment through Artha?

Or is the very notion that “I should not act” itself a form of ignorance—confusing the level of absolute understanding with transactional reality?

Sundari: Whether the world is known to be real or not, it exists and you have no choice but to transact with it.  The answer to this question, as with all questions, is: Who is transacting?  If you are transacting as a person, the answer on topics (and most things) such as this is always a matter of what is dharmic. If you are doing your work but not being properly remunerated for it, appropriate action is to speak up.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Of course, as an inquirer, you take appropriate action – speak up – but leave the results to Isvara.

Karma yoga does not mean that you do not take action.  It is your attitude TOWARDS action that counts. Yes, you are full and complete regardless of the result you get, so taking action as the Self involves no agitation, worry or stress no matter the result. It is known that all results belong to Isvara. But as you are the Self, you can also tell Isvara what you want. And since the action taken as the Self will align with what is dharmic, what you want is dharmic. There is no contradiction. Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita: ‘I am the desire that is not opposed to dharma’.

Mike: For most of my life, I have been predominantly influenced by rajas—constantly concerned about the future and what needs to be done. While this helped me achieve material success externally, it also created inner anxiety and restlessness. Even after significant achievements, such as completing my dream education, I found myself unable to pause, celebrate, or feel truly satisfied.

Sundari:  This is the typical result of too much rajas.  The backlash from so much extroversion is always worry and stress because no matter what we achieve in the world, it is never enough.  It cannot fulfil what we really want because the joy is never in the object, whatever that is. So the inevitable result of too much rajas is tamas, the feeling of burn out, dissatisfaction and incompleteness. The only solution to this conundrum is karma yoga, appropriate action surrendered to Isvara, and jnana yoga – Self-knowledge.

Mike: Certain teachings helped me manage this. A concept from Dale Carnegie—“Live in day-tight compartment”—encouraged me to focus only on the present day, essentially living from waking up in the morning until going to sleep, without projecting into tomorrow. It means sealing off the “dead yesterdays” and the “unborn tomorrows” to focus your time and energy entirely on the present 24 hours. This was quite transformative.

Sundari: Any process that helps manage the  mind (the rajas/tamas cycle) is helpful. Ultimately, all you need is karma yoga and jnana yoga, which takes care of everything related to the body/mind.

Mike: Later, teachings from Eckhart Tolle refined this further into living in the present moment—the “Now”—which he equates with consciousness. Practices like inner body awareness, which he describes as a bridge between the manifested and the unmanifested, were especially impactful for me.

However, with my growing exposure to Vedanta, I now understand that such practices may still operate within duality, as they involve experience and objects of awareness, possibly at the level of the subtle or causal body.

Sundari: Yes, this is the key realization. Tolle does not have an independent teaching, what he does teach is experience-based, therefore, based in duality. But he does help many people find some peace of mind, at least for a while. What you really want is permanent peace of mind, which only comes with nondual knowledge. See above.

Mike: Additionally, would Eckhart Tolle’s concept of inner body awareness be comparable to Upasana Yoga? From my personal experience, it has been a game changer, but I would like to understand how it fits within the Vedantic framework.

Sundari: What does Tolle mean by ‘inner body awareness’? There are not two awarenesses. There is only one Awareness and it is the knower of the so-called ‘inner awareness’.  It is by the presence of nondual Awareness shining on the mind that ‘we’ as a person are aware at all.  The problem arises when we identify with ‘inner awareness’—what Vedanta refers to as reflected awareness—as our true identity. This is what we mean when we say that Tolle does not have a teaching.  He teaches duality mixed with nonduality and causes confusion because if he knows the difference, he does not teach it.

From the Vedanta perspective, the body/mind is an object known to you, the Self. It is only apparently real, which means it is mithya, that which is always changing and not always present.  Only pure Awareness, SATYA, the witness, is always present and incapable of change.

But to make progress with self-inquiry, we do need to understand and objectify our thoughts and feelings. To do so, we first need to identify them and then unravel them with reference to Self-knowledge, which requires knowledge of the gunas.  All thoughts and feelings are guna generated, and they clearly are associated with our karma load and personality. 

This is why for self-inquiry to work, we need a purified mind. To achieve that, we need to objectively understand our programming to negate it as only apparently real. The teachings on the gunas should be life changing for you, because this teaching clarifies that although all thoughts and feelings seem so personal, they generate from the impersonal Causal body. As do all our seemingly personaly vasanas (tendencies), which are also guna-generated. 

Looked at through the lens of jnana yoga – the nondual teachings – we can at last truly render non-binding and negate the contents of our conscious and unconscious mind. This is no walk in the park, however.  Most obstacles to the nondual teachings assimilating are found here – which is why self-inquiry is an intense and lengthy process.  You need to start at the beginning, sign on to the teachings as I mentioned in my last email to you.

Both James and I cover all the whole methodology of self-inquiry as it pertains to Vedanta extensively, with particular emphasis on understanding the jiva, which is where all the ‘work’ of self-inquiry is.  Vedanta tells you upfront what your true identity is – ignorance of your true identity – and how to resolve the issue.  But we cannot do the work of self-inquiry for you, nor can we qualify you for it.  We can only help you understand what is missing and point you in the right direction with the teaching methodology of Vedanta. Self-inquiry is hard work, there is no short cut and no easy fix because the egoic jiva persona is hard wired.  Ignorance/the hypnosis of duality, is very tenacious. Again, this is why the qualifications are so important if self-inquiry is to work for you.

I can tell you are very sincere, but do not be in a hurry and jump ahead.  You will get stuck, I assure you.

If you would like to arrange a private zoom session, we are happy to oblige, by donation.

Om and prem

Sundari

Sundari: Yes indeed, that is a great mantra! 

Martin: Your last reply really allowed “me” to make a shift – or rather just shift and face the me that isn’t me, finally. It was never just about mental discrimination (which I got fairly soon) – although it brought a lot already from the knowledge itself – but the dispassion was missing – the mind, my mind is not just mental – it is loaded with anxiety even though difficult to admit: nebulous ghosts which clothe themselves with new mental arguments and portrayed themselves as “me”.

Sundari: The human mind is indeed a strange, nebulous, multilayered, problematic and complex thing. Who can say what it actually is? One thing we can all agree on is that it’s the uncertainty of what anything is, including the mind, and the uncertainty of who we really are (are we spiritual or material?!) along with the ever-changing nature of the field that is the cause of all anxiety, worry, stress.

Many people think that if the world was a better place, they would be better people. So they keep waiting in vain for the world to improve, unless they realize that the world doesn’t have anything to do with them or their issues. Otherwise, they just languish in doubt and confusion till the body stops working and the lights go off. A wasted life is not good.

Sometimes, however, people see that the world is a problem because they have problems. This realization is not necessarily an improvement because it prevents them from asking who or what they are and they remain fixated on “problems.” But this focus is useless because the one that has problems is the problem.

No human mind will ever fully understand the human mind. Even though it seem so personal, it really isn’t, so it’s impossible to fully understand because the mind originates in the Causal body. It seems to be located in the brain, but it isn’t located anywhere. Yet, the mind is our most powerful instrument, both for our redemption and destruction. No other living creature has a mind like ours because only humans have the power of self-reflection. Therein lie all our problems – and our salvation.

All other creatures are programs run completely by Isvara with no possibility of objectivity. Much harder to be born human, but no other way for moksa to obtain. Although we may think the mind is not ‘just mental’, what else could it be? Everything that occurs in it is just a thought, be it an emotion or feeling, a memory, a dream – whatever. 

The mind is a function of the Subtle body and cannot be separated from all the other functions, such as the intellect or buddhi, memory – chitta, the I sense or ego – ahamkara (when the mind is identified with action or the enjoyer of pleasure and pain), the 5 gross organs of knowledge/perception – jnana indriyas (eyes, ears, mouth, nose, skin) and five subtle instruments of knowledge/perception, (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching), the five gross organs of action – karma indriyas (speech, hands, legs, anus, genitals) and the 5 physiological functions or prana (respiration, circulation, evacuation, digestion/assimilation and ejecting Subtle body at death, udana.

For most, the hardest thing to understand is that you are not the mind or intellect. Since you can see the mind and thoughts ‘in’ the mind, you are not the mind or your thoughts. You are the one who “sees” the mind/thoughts. Self-inquiry is isolating the “seer” as Self/Awareness from the objects, or not-Self. It is futile to try to gain an empty mind or thoughtless state because the mind is Isvara’s creation and is doing what it is supposed to do and we are not in control of it. The mind is not your enemy. There is no problem with the mind except one: it thinks itself to be the doer/experiencer. There is no doer. There is just you, Awareness and thoughts appearing in you.

I know you know this, but for the sake of teaching, it’s not a bad idea to sum up the functions of the mind.

The Four Functions of the Mind

1.) It Receives Stimuli from its Environment, the Field of Existence, of which it is a part, through the five gross sense organs and subtle sense instruments, jnana indriyas. It unifies and integrates the information into one experience.  It (Isvara) decides which organ will function consciously or mechanically, which Swami Paramarthananda calls ‘the traffic cop function’.

One sense organ cannot produce five independent experiences. For example, a blind person can still smell, taste, touch and hear. The world is known by the sense organs, but the sense organs are not known by the world. The sense organs are extroverted. They generally operate outside the body. But at certain times the sense instruments perceive within the body because the body is non-separate from the five elements, i.e. the material world. Although the gross organs of perception, the eyes ears etc. are visible, the ability to hear, see, touch etc., are not.

2. Doubting Function – this function allow us to inquirer into the merits and demerits of the objects perceived by the senses. A very important function, which over or under developed is a serious impediment to a happy life and to self-inquiry. There can be no discrimination without a doubting function, but if we fall in love with our doubts, discrimination is lost.

3. Emotes – the mind  generates thoughts and feelings (feelings are always preceded by a thought) to activate the organs of action.  When the mind is in a state of desire, indecision, dithering or doubt it is called manas.  When the mind is controlled by involuntary thoughts and emotions, the intellect cannot function and suffering ensues. Constant observation of the thoughts and feelings appearing in the mind is called mano nigrahah, an essential part of self-inquiry.

4.) Modifies to Or Manages the Gunas: It modifies to the gunas, or manages them, depending on its level of Self-knowledge.

The Intellect or Buddhi:  is the cognitive part of the Subtle Body that discriminates, makes judgements, determines.  It should be in charge of the mind, not the other way around.

Martin: An elderly plumber told me once that the way they changed leaky water pipes was to pack each side with dry ice, wait for it to freeze the water inside – then they didn’t have to switch off the mains and could swap out the pipe. It’s a bit like that – discrimination and dispassion – the “ice on the pipe” – just hold them frozen temporarily long enough to discriminate as the Self.

What I thought most of “me” then apparently disappears as not me – it’s still there but the knowledge transfers “well this was never me, I just thought it was” and its harder to go back. They appear “tagged”, seen now, marked.

Sundari: Complete freedom at the point when the teaching remnants drop is tricky, which is why nididhysana is usually the longest and most difficult stage of inquiry. While it may be firm knowledge that I am the Self and not the jiva, if there is still some residual part of the jiva program operating, freedom is not that free. Even the smallest bit of ignorance has a big price tag in terms of peace of mind. A tiny bit of ignorance can and does trick the mind into identification with negative thoughts which are always projected onto others whom we see as the problem. And the result? Unhappiness, agitation, dis-ease. But there is never a problem outside of our thoughts. We (as an ego) are the problem if the jiva has sneaked back into the picture.  

Martin: If James had written a different book with the title “how to gain freedom” the provocation may have been different. Of course it would be fraught with other provocations (political, social) just like “how to gain enlightenment” was for the spiritual perhaps – but right now the “freedom” title fits. 

Sundari: It is a tricky title, and he used it deliberately to provoke debate.

Martin: I never had the affliction of the spiritual; trying to get enlightened – but the journey to freedom is no different. Every desire and fear, every action I see in my past was just that driven by ignorance of who or what I was. What is the obvious conclusion now – awareness and just that.

Sundari: Freedom comes down to one simple decision: Am I the Self or am I the jiva? I cannot be both. If I think I am the jiva I identify with its problems, I think the world and others give me problems, and I am unhappy. As the Self I simply have no problems. To make that choice is always a possibility, and making it always transforms the situation and frees me from suffering. When that choice is no longer a choice but the default position of the mind, you are free. And if the mind still plays a few tricks, you just watch it dispassionately, as a curious but unaffected observer.

Martin: Along with this is (finally) a true appreciation for God, for Isvara in a beginning context I had struggled to reconcile out from duality. As Awareness and nothing else, everything is God.

Sundari: This is a tough one for everyone, especially given the negative connotation of ‘God’ in mithya.  But one that must be mastered or moksa is not possible.  Well done!

Thank you for your love and good wishes, I hope you make it to one of our seminars here in Italy one day!

Much love

Sundari

Sundari:  I am just a voice for what you already know. Yes, I have heard of the Overview Effect. All earthlings are afflicted by the “nearsightedness” of duality until they can step out of the box.  Would that all humans could take a trip into space out of the limitation of their little psychological earthen dungeons, to see with God’s Eye View the beauty and truth actually there, covered by the bug in the rug perspective, courtesy of Maya. 

Q: Learning how to be a Nobody versus a Somebody is the most delightful and purposeful teaching for my existence. Thank you for your presence and guidance. Non-dual therapy is the most evidence-based therapy there could be!

Sundari: Nondual vision is not therapy – it is you seeing you. But yes, I know what you mean. It is without a doubt the most evidence-and experience-based ‘therapy’ in existence. However, nonduality is not about being a ‘nobody’ unless you mean you are that without a body.  ‘Nobody’ versus ‘Somebody’ are the same thing. Both are identities that do not apply to the Self, but being a ‘nobody’ implies something is wrong with being a somebody, a person.  This idea is an obstacle to peace of mind because inherent is the idea that you cannot love the jiva. But the jiva is the Self, how could you not love it?

It’s ok to be you as a jiva, with your quirks and foibles. There is only a problem with that when you believe that is who you really are, and are causing injury to yourself and others as a result.  There is the persistent belief in the spiritual world that we have to somehow get rid of the ego identity as though it is the enemy.  Identification with it is the enemy of peace of mind, this is true. But just as you cannot negate that which is real, you cannot get rid of that which is not.  You can only understand the difference. Living as the love you are as the Self means loving your(not)self unconditionally. This person doesn’t have to improve for you to love it, but it will automatically improve as Self-knowledge scours away ignorance, and you will like it a whole lot more.

Q: “What you have you will lose. What you are, you will not lose”. This statement appears to reflect where I am with Self-Knowledge. I have it but I am not IT (yet). God bless you Sundari and thank you again for your generosity of wisdom.

Sundari: You are always welcome, I love talking to you. Your statement above is correct, there is nothing one can ever keep in mithya because nothing is permanent.  Only the Self, the witness of the apparent keeping and losing, can never be gained or lost. You cannot NOT have ‘IT’, though there may still be ignorance in the way of fully appreciating that fact. You are closer than you give yourself credit for.

Hang in there, you are doing great 

Much love

Sundari

Dear Sundari, Isvara has turned my life upside down and everything I relied on seems to be crumbling beneath my feet. Relationships, work, financial disaster, possibly losing my home and safe space. So many factors are involved, both big picture and small, both within and outside of my control.  I am taking appropriate action where possible, trying my best to apply Self-knowledge. But I seem to be on a slippery slope heading somewhere I don’t want to be.  I know this is all an object known to me, but even knowing I am the Self, there is not much happiness right now. I am struggling to keep my equilibrium.

Sundari: It is one thing to know you are the Self, and quite another to be unaffected by the trials and tribulations of the jiva.  Self-realization does not erase whatever karma is in the pipeline, which will fructify. It has to. Whatever lurks in the unconscious and needs resolving must be seen.  Having been bestowed the gift of self-consciousness means we are subject to doubt, anxiety and confusion, which animals do not suffer.

But Isvara also bestowed the human mind with a hidden drive for healing because its true nature is the Self, and ignorance of that is so painful.  This is why humans suffer such terrible psychological distress. Karma yoga of course is the key to all things mithya, which you know all too well. It is in times like these that it really counts. 

Part of the problem in all our human travails is that we think we should always be happy, and if we are not, something is wrong with us or our lives. Who said this is true? To you as the Self it makes no difference whether the jiva is ‘happy’ or not because the bliss of the Self is not dependent on how you feel. Self-knowledge aside, most people do not stop to ask themselves if happiness is the same thing as having meaning in life.

We tend to assume that whatever makes us happy also makes life feel meaningful. But though easy and comfortable raises happiness, it does not always bring meaning. In fact, very often, while we feel ‘happy’ when we feel safe and have all we want the way we want it, the nagging dissatisfaction of the emptiness of object happiness persists.

Nondual wisdom reveals that nothing in the world ultimately brings true happiness or meaning. As the Self, you are the meaning and do not require anything to obtain either happiness or meaning. However, for the jiva who must transact with the world Self-realized or not, meaning and happiness do not always arrive in the same package. And whether we know it or not, what we all want most of all is meaning.

Unfortunately, meaning requires sacrifice and stepping out of what’s safe, easy and comfortable. Even bouts of stress are linked to a deeper sense of purpose when they are the price to pay for meaning. This fact should be very evident, yet it is not to most who are allergic to inconvenience. People who choose to be parents know all about this conundrum because parenting requires so much sacrifice.

The reward of parenting is usually a lot of meaning, but also, a lot of stress and not always great happiness.  As always, it is a zero sum situation in mithya. But of the two, it is advisable to go for meaning over happiness if your instinctive strategy is to always stay in your comfort zone.  Comfort without some kind of sacrifice wears thin very quickly, as many a very wealthy comfortable person will attest. Very often, having all you want is as soul destroying as its opposite.

Yet it is strange how programmed the human mind is to find security, comfort and avoid inconvenience of any kind, at all costs. In our affluent Western society, we have become so accustomed to ease that a large part of the earth’s population doesn’t truly know the meaning of sacrifice, or the satisfaction born from the resourcefulness of making do without. Our likes and dislikes are commands we MUST obey.

Karma yoga is very difficult for this kind of mind, even though it may intellectually understand the concept of sacrifice and not being in control of results.  In practice, it is a different matter, with lip service being the order of the day.  Isvara is karma phala data, and does not make mistakes. There are no bad results, just results we don’t like. As our dear friend Suus says, whatever is happening is happening and if you don’t like it you clearly have something to learn. This is hard to accept when the going gets tough. True karma yoga is no walk in the park for the ego.

Nobody enjoys being out of their comfort zone. Sadly, we are not here to be comfortable but to grow. That’s just the way it is. I cannot advise you on what action you need to take. Ultimately, Self-knowledge takes care of everything. But still, karma is a bitch, and can be so confusing because there are times it’s a good idea to say no to Isvara. I think it comes down to the AA serenity prayer: 

Dear God, please grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, to change what needs changing, and the wisdom to know the difference. Most often, difficult karma is a combination of the two. Karma is never a straight line. Isvara is the big picture, which we usually can’t fully grasp or understand while it is unfolding. This is what makes true karma yoga hard, especially for a mind under the influence of the affluenza virus.

Q: When the intellect is shrouded in stress, sleep deprivation sets in, and other biological factors (hormones etc). Q: At times like these, the ratio of forgetting what we are to remembering what we are can tip in the forgetting. It’s painful to forget. A form of deception to SELF in a way. The greatest of all.

Sundari: Rampant rajas and tamas totally mess with inner peace, both on the subtle and material level. The sleep deprivation that accompanies this is a killer, the poor nervous system goes haywire. Feeling so horrible, both wired and hollowed out, empty and exhausted, doesn’t mean you can forget who you are. It’s not possible, you are always the one observing the inner and outer struggle. Observing the one who seems to forget.  The bliss of the Self is not diminished when the mind is tamasic, unhappy and exhausted.

It’s cold comfort I know, but Isvara is busy messing with your life for good reason. The ego craves convenience and security. It’s nature is that way, no blame. Isvara sets things up for us to fail, there is no way to win in mithya, even when we have things easy and the way we like them. But as stated, to have meaning our lives require growth, which always requires sacrifice and often extreme discomfort. That’s tough for the poor ego to accept. 

It’s no wonder so many people just can’t cope with life and fall apart.  They cannot stand the anxiety. You are part of the crew trying to help, and you know what a cruel master mithya is. How hopeless life can seem. You also know what the game is all about. You are one of the very lucky ones who has been given the map out of the madness. This is what matters, hold onto it. You are not lost. You are on track. Did you know that the quickest route to the wrong place is a straight road?  If you are not on a bumpy winding dirt road once in a while, you may think you are not lost and all is good.  But are you found?

The self-deception is the false spiritual  belief that your supposed to be happy, secure, comfortable and together, all the time, or you can’t be ‘enlightened’. Self-knowledge does not remove life challenges, it just changes how you relate to them. As the Self, karma does not come to you and so you do not suffer stress, confusion and anxiety.

Try to be grateful, I know it’s hard when your jiva life seems to be imploding. Be kind to your(not)self, it’s having a very hard time.  One thought at a time, trust the process unfolding even as the ego hates and resists it. See the resistance, the tightness and inner chaos. Stand as the Self. The way forward will clear up. It has to because you are always there, shining.

When things seem dark, remember to face the sun. Know that you are the source of its light, all light. And you are always shining, no matter how many clouds turn the sky grey. Remind yourself that Isvara has your back, always, especially when it seems to be so otherwise. “I take care of all your getting and your keeping”, says Krishna. We should add: “I also take care of all your remembering and forgetting, and all your losing’.  Sometimes, what we lose is more important than what we keep. 

Much love

Sundari