A few weeks ago, my best friend slipped in the shower and landed on his girlfriend's dildo, it went straight up his ass. In all the confusion he forget to yell, "No ♥♥♥♥!" He just yelped in pain.

That's how quick it can happen, guys. One minute you're a happy-go-lucky, ♥♥♥♥♥-poundin' alpha male, the next; a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ of massive proportions.