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I've always been obsessed with pushing the limits of how far I can piss. From 2 meters to 10 meters to 20 meters, I kept pushing myself, even videoing the angle and trajectory of the piss stream so I could do some quick parabolic motion calculations and find out how much power I needed to get the piss another meter or so farther. I'd also measure the wind speed, temperature and pressure just to make sure my air resistance calculations are right, but to make sure, I also hook this data into a computer to simulate the scenario using computational fluid dynamics. Eventually, the simulations got so complicated that I had to buy a new graphics card for $6000 but that's just not what this post is about.

⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡇⠄⣦⣄⡙⠛⠛⣛⡛⣛⣛⡋⠡⢴⡾⠃⡀⢻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠃⡆⢋⣡⣶⣾⣿⣹⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡅⢸⡇⢸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡄⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿
⢿⡿⢡⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠸⢟⣻
⠶⠆⢸⣿⣇⣀⣼⣿⣙⣙⣋⣿⣇⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⢘⣙⣻
⣷⣷⡈⢻⣿⡟⣿⢫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢡⣾⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⣤⣙⣓⢸⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣋⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡏⡩⠙⠳⠦⠤⣀⣐⡺⠙⠿⢿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠁⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡊⢱⣶⣮⣽⠈⣿⡟⢱⡖⠘⣿
⣿⣿⣆⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠣⠜⠻⣿⡿⢁⡟⢡⣽⠃⢸⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢈⣉⣉⣡⣴⣶⣿⣷⡆⠰⠋⣰⡗⢁⣴⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣟⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠋⣨⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠈⠟⠛⠄⠛⠂⠙⠛⠃⠘⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣄⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣴⠟⠛⠓⠶⣤⠴⠶⢶⡿⠁⣶⣽⣯⠉⠁⠹⡆⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡁⢼⣿⡏⠙⠻⣾⡛⢿⣆⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣻⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠶⠞⠷⣤⣼⣯⠟⣸⡟⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠶⠞⢙⣆⣀⠀
⢠⡶⢾⡶⠤⠀⢠⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⡄⠀⠚⢩⡏⠉⠁
⠀⢀⣼⣷⠒⠀⠈⠋⠀⠀⠀⢶⡲⠀⠀⠀⠛⠁⠀⡈⣹⠛⠛⠀
⠀⠀⢠⡼⠷⣯⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠿⠛⠷⠆⠀
⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠓⠒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠒⠚⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000$ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base's football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A's on the military entrance exam and recived more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don't be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life.

-Rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard♥♥♥♥♥♥push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.