BAD word! Sit! Stay!

Thought for the day: Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.  [Lily Tomlin]

[image courtesy of unsplash]

Most of you already know it, but I'm a total word freak who revels in the nuances and quirky idiosyncrasies of the English language. As far as I'm concerned, it's a never-ending source of delight and amusement.

I mean, some words are just fun to say, dontcha think? Words like diddly squat, discombobulate, nincompoop, floozy, canoodle, patootie, and keister tickle my funny bone.

Any fun words you'd like to add?

[image courtesy of unsplash]

Some words also have the ability to make me cringe, but they aren't necessarily the so-called naughty words that once-upon-a-time merited a mouth-washing in our society. No, the words that bug me the most are the ones that drip with cruelty and unkindness. It's unconscionable that language, which can be used to edify and uplift, is too often wielded like a weapon to inflict pain.

And then there are the words we're gonna look at today. They're words that some people say should be... banished. Thrown into a dark dungeon and destined to languish in some dark corner with nothing but bread and water forever.

Kinda.

Every January first, Lake Superior State University publishes a tongue-in-cheek list of words deemed worthy of banishment from our lexicon. The first list came about as the result of a New Year's Eve party conversation, in which school P.R. director W.T. Rabe and some of his colleagues entertained themselves by talking about their word pet peeves. (I can totally imagine doing the same thing... how about you?) Just for kicks, Rabe published them the next day, and they received so much feedback and received so many suggestions of other words that should be decommissioned, the next year's list practically wrote itself. Ever since then, the annual list has been compiled from suggestions received from around the world. Nope, there's no teeth in this list. Just a little bit of fun.

[image courtesy of morguefile]

Here, marking year 45, are the words that have been kicked to the proverbial curb this year. (If you feel sorry for them, feel free to open the gate and let 'em back in... )

Quid pro quo: This phrase received the most nominations this year, with a noticeable spike in November (gee, we wonder why…). The popularity of this phrase has the committee wondering what it should offer in exchange for next year’s nominations.

Artisanal: One nominator described this word as an “obfuscation,” describing an “actual person doing something personal for another unknown person.”  The committee agrees this word should be banned for well water… but not for sandwiches.

Curated: Like “artisanal,” this seems to be another attempt at making something more than it is, especially when used in reference to social media (or Banished Words Lists). As Barb from Ann Arbor says, “Save it for the museum.”

Influencer: According to Urban Dictionary, “A word Instagram users use to describe themselves to make them feel famous and more important when no one really know who they are or care.”

Literally: Surprisingly, this word hasn’t already been banished, but here it is, one of the few words in English that has begun to serve as its own antonym. Many of the nominators cite this word’s use for figurative expressions or emphasis, which is literally annoying.

I mean: It’s easy to see why this phrase was nominated, right? I mean…

Living my best life: The committee very much enjoys exercising its authority in banishing words annually–literally the capstone of our year–but as Eric says, apart from reincarnation, are there “options for multiple lives”?

Mouthfeel: A word used by foodies to describe the texture of food or drink in the mouth, which the committee feels should be banished entirely from food reality TV shows. As our nominator asks, “Where else, exactly, would you like to touch your food or beverage?” This one just doesn’t feel right in the mouth.

Chirp:  This one is a new insult for the non-millennials on the committee. Before we get chirped for being out of touch, as our nominator suggests, why don’t we leave it to the birds?

Jelly: An abbreviation of “jealous,” the committee agrees with the nominator of this word who suggested that it’s better left for toast.

Totes: Another abbreviation, this time of “totally.” Totes overused.

Vibe / vibe check: A new use of the 60s term, “good vibes.” This one just doesn’t vibe with us anymore, unless the speaker is actually vibrating.

OK, Boomer: This phrase caught on late this year on the Internet as a response from millennials to the older generation. Boomers may remember, however, that generational tension is always present. In fact, it was the Boomers who gave us the declaration: “Don’t trust anyone over 30!”

Are there any words or phrases you'd like to  add to the list? (If you wanta do it for real, see the school's nominating form  HERE)

You know, I was thinking...

If there's a list for words that should be erased from usage, (or at least put in time out) maybe there should also be a list of words we'd like to ADD to common usage...

Like some of these:

Carcolepsy: an affliction that makes some people fall asleep as soon as the car starts moving. 

Cellfish: people who are more interested in their phones than they are with the people who are right there with them.

Askhole: Someone who asks an endless string of stupid, pointless, and obnoxious questions just to hear the sounds of their own voices.

Exhaustipated: too tired to give a crapola

Carcheologist: The person who has to dig out all the crap that's hidden in and under the car seats.

                                               Nostrildamas: Someone with a real... nose for the news. 

                                                 Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

[image courtesy of unsplash]

The Power of Three

Thought for the day: To thrive in life, you need three bones: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. [Reba McEntire]

[courtesy of unsplash]

Have you ever given any thought to the alleged power of the number three? Fans of the TV show Charmed know that the three witch sisters' powers were greatly magnified when they worked as a unit, but in general, threesomes kinda permeate our lives, if you think about it.

Maybe the original notion about the strength of the number three stems from the trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, but I don't know that for a fact. We had the three wise men, of course. And how about that much-beloved prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr that says: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

In the writing world, it's pretty much accepted that things that come in threes are somehow funnier or more effective and satisfying than other groupings. For example, there's the three little pigs, the three musketeers, the three blind mice, and Goldilocks and the three bears. Also, the majority of plays are written in three acts, and the recommended guideline for the storytelling arc is comprised of  a three-act structure.(Are you sensing a trend?)

Then there's comedy.

Think about all the jokes you've heard that begin with a grouping of three whatevers walking into a bar.

And many jokes rely on a three-part punch line, too. Like this one: I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead. [Laura Knightlinger]

[courtesy of wikipedia]

How about the hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil monkeys? (I wonder why there's no DO no evil...)








Many well-known phrases are more memorable because of the effective use of threesomes:

• Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
• Of the people, by the people, and for the people
• Friends, Romans, and countrymen
• Veni, vidi, vici
• Faith, hope, and charity
• Blood, sweat, and tears
• Location, location, location

And I bet you can name a bunch more of them.

But did you know that the power of three even extends into the animal kingdom? No? Well then, consider the following:

I wish I could acknowledge where those five photos came from, because they're what prompted me to write this post in the first place. A friend sent them to me many years ago, and I liked 'em, so I kept 'em. The following pics came courtesy of unsplash:

Okay, so technically, those last three aren't exactly animals... but they sure are cute, aren't they?

Sheesh. This turned into a kinda long post, considering I wrote it just so I could post those five pictures a friend... and I don't even remember which friend... sent me years ago. Still, I kinda like it.

                               I think maybe it may even deserve an award of some kind...

                                  Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

                                        Save water... take a shower with two friends...

A Genuine Super Power

Thought for the day:  Time's fun when you're having flies.  [Kermit the frog]

I've said it before, but it bears repeating: some kinda dastardly plot must be afoot that's making time go faster these days. Have you noticed? If you haven't, I bet you will some day. (It's only a matter of time... HA!) Since the hands on my office clock sometimes spin around fast enough to provide service as a fan, I reckon I shouldn't be surprised that a month-long blogging break would zip by faster than a Corvette on nitrous oxide. (Oh...and if you didn't happen to notice my absence, um, no need to mention it... ya know, no need to hurt my tender widdle feelings...)

So, anyhow, I'm back. I hope those of you who participated in the A-Z Challenge had a lot of fun with it, and I hope those of you who didn't participate had a fantabulous month doing whatever wonderful things you may have done, too.

Me? As planned, I did some writing ... but not nearly as much as I would've liked. Ditto for the editing job. But I did a lot of reading... that's gotta count for something, right? As for the spring cleaning I hoped to do? PBBBBT! As it turns out, I guess I didn't really give a good diddle about doing it, after all. It's possible... nay, probable... that I'm getting too darned old to be scrubbing walls and ceilings, anyway. Besides, it was a lot easier to simply switch to lower wattage light bulbs. And nerts to shampooing the carpets, too. I figure, our cats are prolific barfers, so I'm already washing portions of the rugs every day, anyway, so why should I bother hauling out the noisy machine and turning it into a big production? (Lower wattage bulbs helped with this task, as well...) But I did get the windows washed. Not much choice there. They were covered in pollen. (Have I told you about the kinda pollen we get here? Unbelievable!) And I got some other stuff done, too, but bottom line? Smarticus didn't see a need for me to go overly nuts with the cleaning products, so... I didn't. But we DID shoot a lot of pool. MUCH more fun than cleaning any day of the week.

As you can probably tell by that nifty badge on the right, I returned just in time for our monthly IWSG posts. As always, thanks to our fearless leader, Alex Cavanaugh, for founding this fine group, and
 thanks to all the other nurturing guys and gals who've helped turn it into the thriving community it is today. To join this super supportive (Better than a high-dollar bra... and no underwires!) group of writers and to see links to other participating blogs, please go HERE

Most writers just want to... write. (I know. Profound, right?) Unfortunately, even those who've signed with big publishing houses are expected to be involved in the promotions and sales of their books. (UGH!) And I think it's pretty safe to say most of us HATE that side of things.

[image courtesy of Wikipedia]

I mean, is there anything more uncomfortable than... blowing our own horns?

Heck, if I could play like Louis Armstrong, you probably wouldn't be able to shut me up, but given the heady responsibility of handling a horn properly, I'm afraid I'd be just as likely to stick it into my ear as into my mouth.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. (I KNOW you aren't supposed to stick anything smaller than your elbow into your ear...)

In other words, I HATE the idea of promoting myself or my books. So what's a writer to do... especially an indie writer... when sales are slumping? Well, I have a suggestion for you. Check out Bargainbooksy, a program offered by Written Word Media. For a reasonable fee, which is determined by your book's genre, your book will be listed in a single day's email promotion, which is sent to thousands of people who have already signed up with an interest in your genre. To be included as a bargain, you have to offer your e-book for a reduced price, and you can do this very easily in conjunction with an Amazon countdown offer. I offered both of my novels for ninety-nine cents apiece, and I sold a lot of them. Not enough to cover the cost of the promotion, BUT... and here's the cool part... the number of page views has skyrocketed, and the ripple effect is still in effect a couple of weeks after the promotion ended. If your book is in the KU programs, those page views mean money. So... I've more than made up for the amount of money I spent to set up the two promotions. Whether or not the additional sales will translate into new reviews remains to be seen, but I'm pleased enough with the results at this point to share my experience with you. There's also another program offered by WWM, which is called Freebooksy. Oddly, it costs more to register for that one, and you make NO money from sales. What you do get is a quick boost in your Amazon ratings, and possibly more book reviews, because lots more people receive those daily emails about free books than the reduced-price ones. (I get both!)

Okay, let's take a gander at this month's question, shall we?

What was an early experience where you learned that language had power?

A smart-ass response would be that I've always known... seeing's as how I like to say I was born with a book in one hand and a flashlight in the other. (It's dark in there!) But in reality, some of my earliest memories are of how terribly destructive words can be.

Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble. [Yehuda Berg]

Unfortunately, my father was an evil genius when it came to using words in a negative way. My brother would probably disagree and say the belt hurt a lot more than the words... but to my mother and me, his words were devastating.

Fortunately, there were many other people... relatives, friends, teachers... who made up for his toxic use of language, and who consequently, also taught me the immeasurable value of positive words and encouragement.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. [Mother Teresa]

Words- so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. [Nathaniel Hawthorne]

A life-long love affair with reading and writing has amplified my appreciation for the power of language. Books can help us escape from something and transport us to another place or better understanding. Hmmm, I could pontificate on that, but why bother? I'm preaching to the choir here, right? You guys are prolific readers, too, so you already know of the magical, transformational powers of a good book.

My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel... it is, before all, to make you see. [Joseph Conrad]

                                                Isn't that what all writers hope to do?

We just have to know... and appreciate... our audience.












                                   Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote', so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.' [Steven Wright]

Higher Expectations

Thought for the day: A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.  [Thomas Mann]

I never thought about it before, but now I'm inclined to believe Thomas Mann's quote about writing  may very well be true.

It's kinda like when I was a child. Whenever I had the opportunity to play a piano, I'd sit there for glorious lost-to-the-world hours, pounding and teasing the keys, even though I'd never had a single lesson, and didn't have a clue about what I was doing. I didn't know how to play, and knew nothing about tempo or playing chords; I just poured myself into the experience with reckless abandon. No doubt, the noise I was creating was sheer torture for anyone within earshot, because I didn't give a good diddle about hitting the right notes. I wasn't thinking about the people who were subject to my senseless noise; I was thinking about my own enjoyment.

It's the same with writing. Those who know nothing or care nothing about the basics of writing scribble whatever comes to mind, regardless of spelling, grammar, or whoever might be subject to reading it.  But a writer? A writer expects much more of himself. He wants his words to create something wonderful and truly worthwhile. It isn't enough to use words; they've got to be the right words, and if he's very lucky, they strike the right chord with his readers. Writers don't want to make readers cringe like a certain little girl pounding out those sour notes used to do.

As you can probably tell by that badge up there, it is once again IWSG day, when writers all over the world are encouraged to share their ups and downs with each other. Thanks go out to Alex Cavanaugh, ninja captain extraordinaire, for coming up with this super idea. If you'd like to join this caring group or read the posts of other writers, please go here

Okeydoke. I don't have anything to complain or crow about this month. I'm looking forward to (gulp) being the guest speaker at a book club meeting later this month, and I'll let y'all know how it went next month.

So on to this month's question: How has being a writer changed your experience as a reader?

For life-long addicts to the written word, reading is a vital part of our existence. As a child, I consumed books indiscriminately like a plague of locusts leveling a wheat field. Some books I loved, some I liked, and others I liked less, but I always enjoyed the experience of reading, and never criticized the work. If I was reading, I was happy.

[morguefile]

As an adult, I still read a lot of books. Our house is full of them. Bookshelves everywhere. Books in every room. Books in the attic. If I wanted to, I could build a wall with books. (But why would I want to do that? Then no one could read them.) When I was considering buying a book at a yard sale, Smarticus wanted to know why in the world I wanted another book. I already had hundreds of them. I said, "But I don't have this one." He couldn't argue with that, and neither could the gal selling it. She laughed and gave it to me for free.

But as a writer and an adult, my reading has become much more discriminating, and my reactions are much more critical. I notice misspellings. Bad grammar drives me up the wall. Poor plotting and cardboard characters annoy the stuffing out of me, and poorly constructed sentences... especially in the newspaper... are endlessly aggravating. Perhaps because I employ a pushy nit-picking internal editor when I'm writing, I can't shut her down when I'm reading someone else's work. I find myself judging what I read instead of simply enjoying it. In short, as a writer, I have an even greater appreciation and admiration for beautiful writing, and much less patience for sloppy writing.

I still crave... and sometimes find... books that are so beautifully written, they sweep me away and engulf me in a wondrous world populated by exciting ideas and characters, but it isn't as easy as it used to be. Darn it.

Are you more aware of errors in the things you read than you used to be, or is it just me? Or... are there simply more errors?

                             Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

P.S. I'm experiencing a bit of a split personality today. In addition to being HERE, I'm also guest blogging with the really real housewives HERE

How about popping in over there, too? And it'd be extra nice if you'd sign on as a follower while you're there. It's a super blog run by four super ladies, and they and their guest bloggers always come up with lots of interesting and helpful tips and advise. I'm offering some health tips today... and some of them might even be true!

A Good Pun is its Own Reword

Thought for the day:  Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called. [Jarrod Kintz]

We all flounder for the right word at times— especially as we get older— but I have a confession to make: I am so helplessly hooked on words, I'm not even trying to wriggle off the hook. Yep, I must confess, for it's true. I have a deep-seated and incurable case of logophilia, which is further complicated by my inexplicable love of puns.

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. [Gary Larson]

So just for the halibut, let's do a little fishing together, shall we? Let's talk about lost and found words— words and phrases of the past, and brand spanking new ones that have recently finagled their way into the dictionary.

Some really cool words and phrases have gone the way of milkmen. Just as young people of today missed out on the rather dubious experience of picking up bottles of milk from their front porches early in the morning, (A memorable experience in the wintertime, when the milk is partially frozen, and the cap is popped off, and sitting atop a big bulge of icky -thick cream...) they've also missed out on a bunch of colorful expressions and phrases. Do kids today know what a carbon copy is? Does anybody even make carbon paper any more? (Believe it or not, I still have a partial box of it.) With the advent of remote controls, kids today have no concept of jumping up to change the channel, and have never heard a TV announcer say, Don't touch that dial! Would your kids have any idea what you were talking about if you told them they sounded like a broken record? Or if you complained that someone had hung you out to dry? Nope, the kids of today may be living the life of Riley, but it's unlikely that they've ever heard that expression. That's okay. We may never again be the bee's knees, or the cat's pajamas, and nothing may ever again be dubbed gross enough to gag a maggot, but with all of the new words that are added to the dictionary every year, I guess something's gotta give. Out with the old and in with the new. And now for a glimpse of some of the lost ones we've shoved off a cliff, and some of the new ones that have taken their place. And a-waaaaay we go. (How sweet it is!)

Okay, here's a handful of long-lost words most of us never heard of before, and more's the pity, because some of them are pretty darned spiffy:

Wonder-wench: A sweetheart [Wouldn't you gals love it if your fella hung that moniker on you?]
Groak: To silently watch someone while they are eating, hoping to be invited to join them [Dogs are the undisputed masters of this art]
Beef-witted: Having an inactive brain, thought to be from eating too much beef. [Makes sense.. I guess doughnut dumb will be next.]
Queerplungers: Cheats who throw themselves into the water in order that they may be taken up by their accomplices, who carry them to one of the houses appointed by the Humane Society for the recovery of drowned persons, where they are rewarded by the society with a guinea each, and the supposed drowned person, pretending he was driven to that extremity by great necessity, is also frequently sent away with a contribution in his pocket. [Talk about a specific definition...]
Resistentialism: The seemingly spiteful behavior shown by inanimate objects [There is definitely still a need for this word.]

Because I like to cling to old words, in spite of my age, I still say words like cool and neat, I must confess, some of the new words just added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary are pretty darned cool, too. (Told ya!)

belignorant- both belligerent and ignorant [a word necessitated by the state of politics in today's world?]
mantrum- a tantrum thrown by a man [hmmm, also politically based?]
breakfunch- a small meal between breakfast and lunch [Um, I thought that was called brunch]
confungry- both confused and angry [back to politics...]
definotly- definitely not [HA! I like that one]
jokative- causing laughter [sounds like a made-up word, doesn't it?]
niblings- a person's nieces and nephews [kinda cool]
smellucination- an olfactory hallucination; the perception of a smell when there is no source for that smell. [another cool one]
gayborhood- neighborhood where gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people live and/or work

Like gayborhood, a number of new words are based on society's changing perception about sexuality.

Like cisgender. I guess you could say this word is the opposite of transgender. It describes someone who does still identify with his/her birth gender. [I never heard of this word, and wouldn't have thought it a necessary word, but it has been in use within the LGBT community since the late '90s]
And genderqueer, meaning someone who doesn't clearly qualify(?) or identify as either male or female.
How about Mx? That's now an accepted gender-neutral title of address.

And just a few more new words, non-sexuality based:

nomophobia- the fear of being without a working cellphone [Now you know what to call it!]
FOMO- fear of missing out
hella- a lot of

Let's end this post with something rock solid... you know, something you can hang your hat (or quoit) on. Although there was some stiff competition as to what that should be, I made the hard decision to consider the potentially punny and funny side of naming drugs. In particular... Viagra... you know, that wonder drug that brings good things to life, and provides a lift to dudes who have fallen and can't get up. For sure, it's a swell medication, to which many would offer a standing ovation, but for all that, its name is rather... limp.

As you all know, drugs have two names... a trade name and a generic name. So what about Viagra? Its generic name is currently sildenafil, but surely this most uplifting drug of them all should have a more edifying  generic name to reflect its rise in popularity, don't you think? Indeed, the generic form of Viagra offers more bang for the buck, but why can't its name be more... fun?

So here we go: I humbly suggest some possible nominees for an appropriate name (or inappropriate, depending on your point of view...)  for the FDA to consider as Viagra's new generic name:

• Fixaflatun
• Peckerupp
• Nomorefloppin
• Nulazarus
• Nolimpics (for marketing to athletes)
• Hardwood
• Lovinlarge 
• Poleraisin
• Wheewillie
• Popnrock

Hmm, I dunno. I think it'd be a really hard choice...

Oh, and guess what? Word has it that Pfizer may soon be offering Viagra as a liquid, and in a beverage suitable for mixing with liquor. Cool, huh? Just think. If he wanted to, a man could literally pour himself a stiff one. I guess it wouldn't sound quite right to call the beverage a soft drink, but I dunno, if Pepsi agreed to bottle it, they could always call it Mount & Do. Or maybe it could be offered as a hot beverage. Something like Viagracinno... guaranteed to keep you up all night. Or as a lip balm... to help one keep a stiff upper lip. Shoot, maybe even as a nasal spray. They could call it Kama Snootra. And I think the product should have a spokesperson, too. Maybe Poppin Fresh would like to earn a little money on the side? Oh, and a theme song, too. I think either Paul Simon's I Am a Rock or the Beatles' A Hard Day's Night would fit the bill quite nicely. And wasn't there once a song about The Hardest Part of Loving You? (If not, there should be.)

Okay, I'll stop now.

On that note, I'll bid y'all adieu. Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

It's very difficult to explain puns to a kleptomaniac, They always take things literally.

A (Somewhat) Flexible Logophile

Thought for the day:  Indecision is the key to flexibility.

[seniorark]

Yeah. Okay. Sure, I can be flexible. Not like that feisty ol' gal in the picture kinda flexible, but given the right circumstances, I'm open to changing my mind. Like, for example, I finished a perfectly fine post for today almost two weeks ago. A good one, too. Classy. Yep, you know me. Real classy. It was a fine dissertation on bird poop. Really. (Didn't stink a bit!)

BUT... a small article in  Monday's newspaper made me change my mind and scramble to write a new post. See how that works? Flexible. That's me. Oughta be my middle name.

So what did I see, you ask? Something irresistible to a word nerd, or logophile (lover of words) like me. It was about some of the new words that have just been added to the Oxford Dictionary.

[wikipedia]

No, not THIS Oxford Dictionary. Updating the contents of this august set of books on a quarterly basis would require an almost impossible level of flexibility... not to mention a boatload of effort and moolah. No, I'm talking about the free online version at OxfordDictionaries.com. Here, the same honorable (Excuse me; I mean honourable.) folks who publish the world-renown Oxford English Dictionary help us keep track of the ever-changing face of the English language.

A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content, according to circumstances and the time in which it is used.  [Oliver Wendell Holmes]

The most recent update added more than a thousand new words. I, uh, won't be sharing all of those words with you. (You're welcome.) But I will share a handful:

BRAIN FART: a temporary mental lapse.

Who'd a thunk it? Slang ... and a kind of undignified slang, at that... with an Oxford seal of approval.

Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands, and goes to work.  [Carl Sandburg]

FAT-SHAME:  to make fun of someone for being overweight.

The dictionary isn't condoning it; just expressing the reality that many people are doing it. And that's the real shame.

HANGRY:  a grumpy state caused by being hungry

Huh. I never heard of this one before, but it's kinda cool.

BEER O'CLOCK and WINE O'CLOCK: Just what you think they mean... it's time to drink an adult beverage. Smarticus has been calling it beer thirty for years.

BUTT DIAL: to accidentally call someone on the phone... with your butt? Reeeeeally? Geez, that doesn't sound like something I'd want to do, even if I could. I mean, I am NOT that flexible. Just take a look at my desk phone there. I cannot figure out for the life of me how I could possibly dial it with my backside on purpose, let alone inadvertently. Never mind. This term is actually in reference to a mobile phone tucked into someone's rear pocket. No problem. I don't have one of those, and it's a cinch my desk phone ain't gonna fit in my pocket.

[seniorark]

MANSPREADING: refers to men who sprawl on public transportation, with their legs spread wide apart, so they're gobbling up the space of passengers sitting in adjoining seats.

Seems as though the term could apply to guys hogging space in an office setting, too...

[wikipedia]

MACGYVER: to make or repair something in an inventive manner.

Really? This show was on TV from like 1985 until about 1992, so it's kinda odd that the term is just catching on now. But it's a good one. As anyone knows who ever saw that show, all MacGyver needed was a Swiss army knife, a piece of string and a little bit of spit to fix just about anything. (Slight exaggeration there.)

BUTTHURT:  overly offended or resentful.

Another new one on me, but it is a kinda fun one, isn't it? I would have thought it was referring to those poor suffering souls who (OW!) have to sit on an inflatable donut.

[morguefile]

RAGE-QUIT:  to angrily quit an activity or pursuit; particularly refers to the playing of video games.

Huh! We used to call a person who got mad and took his ball and went home a poor sport. Or a spoiled brat. It's kinda sad that this kind of petulant behavior has become prevalent enough to rate its own special term in the dictionary.


Even as new words are added to the dictionary multiple times a year to reflect the changing habits of language, so too do words get dropped. Alas, some words now obsolete are totally cool, and our language is the less for their loss. Here's one of my favorites:

WONDER-WENCH: a sweetheart.

Wouldn't it be cool to be called a wonder-wench? It's more earthy and less perfect than Wonder Woman, but totally cool.  It could reflect a state of wonder, too, maybe. Anyhow, I like it. And it's much nicer than BEEF-WITTED, another obsolete word, dontcha think? (Yeah, it meant just what it sounds like... having a dull brain.)

[wikipedia]

For those of you who are as enamored with words as I am, here's another dictionary you might enjoy. Written in 1811 by Francis Grose, the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue is a treasure trove of obsolete words. I haven't checked its status recently, but I got an e-version of this book from Amazon for FREE a couple years ago. Wanta hear some of those words? As if you had a choice... (Sorry. I'm on a roll.)

• BLIND CUPID- backside
• ELBOW SHAKER- dice player
• FLASH THE HASH- vomit
• SHOOT THE CAT- vomit because of drinking too much booze
• TWIDDLE DIDDLES- testicles
• TWIDDLE POOP- effeminate-looking man

Okay, before I close, let me share one last example of the new words just added to the online dictionary. It's HOT DIGGITY, a phrase used to express excitement. Whattaya know? What's old is new again. Check out this video of a popular song from 1956:

So who knows? Maybe wonder-wench and twiddle diddles could make a comeback some day, too.

Until next time, when I will regale you with that riveting tale about bird poop, take care of yourselves. And each other. 

Language has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone.  [Paul Tillich]

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.  [Gary Larson]

Language is wine upon the lips.  [Virginia Woolf]

I believe it is now wine o'clock. Time for a nice glass of... language.  [me]