A Journey Ending

In the summer of 2001, we moved to Louisville so that Wes could attend The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. It's been many years of being challenged spiritually to grow and learn. At the same time, it felt like a never ending journey...one that seemed to go on year after year. And while we loved the seminary and Wes so enjoyed sitting under the teachings of such Godly men, we were feeling restless. Part of it was me ready to get back to school myself, and part of it was Wes ready to be done with school, period. Southern is known for academically challenging work, and the Masters of Divinity program, which Wes is in, is roughly 90 hours...compared to a roughly 30 hour program a typical school offers for a master's. It's not uncommon to hear laughter when a first year student comes in wearing rose colored glasses saying that he plans to finish school in 3 years. All in good fun, of course, but there's also a sense of "yeah, that's what we said too."

It had been a while since I had attended the seminary's chapel service. I had regularly attended when we still lived on campus, but since we've lived off campus, it's made it difficult to get over there. Wes works on Tuesdays and Thursdays (chapel days), and I wasn't going to walk during the winter and I needed to save my bus money for getting to work. But today was perfect. I had the day off, the weather was warm and beautiful, so I got up, got ready, and walked to chapel. I spotted some friends from church who are also seminary students and sat with them. There was such an awesome feeling of familiarity as we sang and worshiped our Lord. How I love going to the chapel service!! So while we were singing, I thought to myself, "I need to check my work schedule next week and try to come on over again." Then Dr. Mohler, the seminary president, announced it was the last service of the semester. I was stunned. I mean, I wasn't stunned that it was the last service of the semester...it's April 24th! But what stunned me was the date itself...it's April 24th!!

Wes graduates in 3 weeks. How the heck did time go by so quickly? After years of wondering whether we'd ever see a light at the end of the tunnel, we are now just about out of the tunnel and I'm sitting here thinking, "wait!" Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited about our upcoming move. But for the last 7 years, the seminary has been our home. How odd to think that we'll rarely see it any more after Wes graduates.

It blessed me to sit through chapel service and to be a part of it again. It saddened me to know it was the last one I'd be at and saddened me even more that Wes couldn't be there with me. After chapel, I walked to the cafeteria to grab some lunch. Wes and I used to eat there often when we still lived on campus...and some of my favorite moments were when I had class and would head over for an occasional early morning breakfast. After lunch, I walk to the seminary lawn and sat with my shoes off, enjoying the day and the sights. Soon after, I got up and walked back home.

I am not who I was 7 years ago when we began this journey...I barely recognize that person. And for that matter, Wes isn't the same person either. Being at the seminary has helped us grow as individuals, as a couple, and as followers of Christ. And while I spent a good amount of time telling Wes how nice and warm Florida is compared to Louisville throughout our 7 years, I really wouldn't have traded our time here. We love this seminary. Like a parent raises their child to one day say "go, it's now time to be an adult," so the seminary is now telling us "go, it's time to carry on your ministry." And funny how like I child I am, after so many years of saying "I can't wait to go," that I'm now clinging on and crying "but I'm not ready! We're just kids!!" But we're not kids, are we? Of course not. People always talk about the "real world" and how hard it is...sometimes it feels like that plus a hundred fold when it comes to the ministry's "real world." Fellow ministers and their families surely understand. So on one hand, I feel wide eyed and hopeful for the future. On the other hand, I'm like a scared kid asking "what now?" It's a weird feeling. But it's time. It's time to go in the confidence that God has laid out the path for us.

Seven years. I feel so blessed that God chose us to be a part of this incredible journey.

Alumni Chapel, SBTS

The Definition of a Family

"Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.'...So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. And the man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."
Genesis 2:18, 21-24

For the last several years I have contemplated what "family" meant. Stop and think for a moment about the word "family." What immediately comes to mind? Many people go directly to the poster image of a mother and father with their daughter and son. Some families may include a single child or more than two, some may be all girls or all boys, or a mix. Whatever the case may be, you'll rarely, if ever, hear someone say "a husband and wife." I think about how often Wes and I feel excluded from various "family" activities...family days at whatever location, family photos in which only parents with their children get that special picture while we look on and think "maybe if I hold the camera with this hand and in this position, we'll be able to get a picture of ourselves together," and the list goes on. Dictionary.com has the first definition of family listed as parents with their children. Merriam-Webster first defines a family as "a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head." I like M-W's definition a lot more, not only because it doesn't define it as having children, but also defines it as being under one head. Talk about a biblical approach, in spite of it being a dictionary!

I've been thinking about the above passage in Genesis and how the real first family came to be. God realized that it was not good for Adam to be alone, that he needed someone. So does God put Adam to sleep and POOF! there's his wife and kids? No! He creates a wife for him...and that's it. Adam is now complete. Adam didn't need kids for God to know that the situation was now perfect. And the passage doesn't go on to say, "but Eve felt incomplete and desired children in order to become a family." Again, no! They already were a family! Notice that kids didn't enter the picture until sin did... Ok, please don't twist my words there, I am not saying that kids are a result of sin and anyone who has children are sinning...what a laugh that is! But what I am trying to point out is that so many people miss the fact that Adam and Eve were already complete before kids entered the picture. It's not like God saw them as any less of a family and thought them incomplete. If that were the case, I doubt Eve would have been the only one created when He put Adam to sleep.

Wes and I may never have children. It's a reality we have to face. But we are no less a family. So when you're organizing a family event for something, perhaps think of activities that the not often thought of family groups can participate in. When you're snapping family portraits, ask the husband and wife family if they'd like one too. If you have some sort of family support group, maybe include a small group for the families that don't have children. Just think of ways where the childless ones can feel included.

We're a family too. Dictionary.com may not say so, but the Bible definitely does.

Photo by Kara Guffey

Thankful for...Snow?

It's not uncommon knowledge that Wes and I hate the cold. We both grew up in Chicago where below zero temperatures are commonplace during the winter months, and frankly, we have had enough of it. Here in Louisville, below zero temps are pretty rare and the snow tends to be "snow dust" that melts within a day or two. It's amusing to see the locals freak out and rush to the store for milk and bread as though the end of the world arrives when the forecast predicts even an inch of snow. But cold weather is not our thing. We hate it. This is part of the reason why we love Florida so much and we can't wait to move there. HEAT! Boy, do we love heat!

But this weekend was different. We were supposed to attend a youth conference in Missouri, but the trip was canceled due to an expected 4-8 inches of snow. With a three day weekend off work and nothing to do but stay at home and wait for the snow to pass, I wondered how boring this weekend could get. You see, I can be a homebody, but there are also times I want to go out and do things...and that seems to be prevalent during times we can't go out and do things. But the weekend turned out to be much different than I expected.

It snowed. And it snowed. And it snowed some more. We had an average of 10-12 inches of snow. We didn't venture outside one time on Friday and we figured, why should we? We had nowhere to be and it was cold outside. May I remind you that we hate the cold. So instead, we played computer and video games. Wes brought the tv and DVD player to our bedroom and we watched movies while eating dinner on the bed. Well, understand the reasoning...it's cold on the first floor and our bedroom is on the second floor. It was a lazy day. It was wonderful. Then Saturday came and we did the same thing, only this time we did go outside, but only to play. That's right, Wes & Mary in their ultimate hatred for the cold, played in the snow. We had a snowball fight, made a snowman, literally jumped in the snow, and made snow angels. Warm delicious stew was a perfect dinner for the cold day, and to top it off, I made snow cream for dessert. That's right, a dessert made with snow! Think vanilla ice cream, but snow-like. We received a call from our pastor telling us that church services had been canceled for the next day (understandably since a foot of snow and a church sitting on a hill doesn't exactly make for safe conditions)...which meant another day for just me and Wes. So we continued in our journey of laziness of games and movies. We did venture into the real world one time to eat out. It felt different this day, though...the weather was a bit warmer (if you consider the 40s warm), the snow was melting away...it was all a reminder that the weekend was coming to a close. By the end of Sunday night, Wes told me, "it's back to the real world now." And so it was.

It's Monday now. Wes is back in class and even though I didn't work today, I was on call which meant work was a possibility. It feels different today. Today we're no longer living in our bubble where only Wes & I existed. But for three full days it was perfect. There was no one else but us and we were free to be lazy, to play, to eat snow. With our move to Florida coming up soon, we knew an opportunity like this...a "snow day" as some schools call it...would not come up again, so we took full advantage.

This weekend, in spite of my undying hatred for cold,
I was thankful for snow.

Twenty Eight Years Old

Actor Heath Ledger died today. Technically yesterday, I suppose, since it's 1am here. It caught me off-guard really, which struck me as odd since I'm not exactly this huge fan of his. I liked him in A Knight's Tale and somewhat enjoyed Casanova...and only recently found out that the hideous picture of The Joker was actually him. And yet I couldn't turn away from news reports and I found myself sad over the news. Possibly because it's a name I know, possibly because I realize that as I get older, I'll recognize more and more names of people who die (when I was younger, I hardly knew any of the names), possibly because of the fact he's leaving behind an 18 month old little girl who will only know her daddy by his movies and interviews...but honestly, it wasn't until Wes said something that I realized why it struck me so much. Heath Ledger was 28 when he died. Why is it that his age is what got to me? And what comment did Wes make that made me realize why his age was the thing that made me sad? Wes said, "he was my age." Wes rarely has anything to say about celebrity deaths. The most he ever talked about one was Steve Irwin. Not that Wes went on about Heath Ledger...that was really all he said on it. I doubt he meant it to be as personal as it sounded, but it's quite something to hear of a person your age die...it makes you think about your own life. What if it were cut short this very instant?

My heart grieved for Ledger's former fiancee, Michelle Williams. I realize that they were no longer romantically linked, but she's still the mother of his child. She is 27 years old, the age I'll be in two and a half weeks. That makes her my age. I'm sure our similarities end there. But I couldn't imagine me, a near 27 year old, hearing about the death of my 28 year old husband...the man I share my life with. What would I do? I know the pat answers about being strong and moving on, blah blah blah. That's a lot easier to say than actually live through. I hated those answers when struggling to deal with the grief over my grandfather's death. But this would be my husband. I realize that he would be in heaven, but there is a real devastation over losing your spouse....the person you've become one with. It's no longer "one"...but tragedy struck and tore it in two. This is part of the reason why I've become so afraid of death.

What saddens me even more is the evidence that Mr. Ledger was not a Christian. We know how this story ends. And there is where the story differs between 28 year old Heath Ledger and 28 year old Wesley King. I thought to myself several times this afternoon and evening, "Heath knows the Truth now, whether or not someone shared it with him." It breaks my heart that there are people who only know the Truth upon death. Wes and I are blessed beyond belief to be saved by the grace of God. We absolutely don't deserve it. But for us there is hope, there is a peace we have...there is life for us. So if I were to receive word that my husband passed away, I know where he'd be. That wouldn't make life on earth without him any easier, but at least there is hope in the midst of devastation rather than a hopeless devastation. It boggles my mind that God would choose to save broken and poor Wes & Mary, rather than rich, famous, and influential Heath Ledger. And it's an eye opener too, because I sometimes sit here frustrated at how easy these celebrities have it...never needing to worry about money, not living paycheck to paycheck, not having to put off taking care of a medical concern because of finances, adoptions are expedited...it's enough to make me want to cry sometimes. But then something like this happens and I'm reminded that Wes and I have been given something far greater than any of that. Why us? Why did God choose to save and protect us? I don't know. But boy am I glad He did!!

Twenty eight years old. That's my husband's age. That's Wes. Life is so short.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed and am going to snuggle up next to my husband. There just doesn't seem enough of a lifetime to do that.

Photo by Mary King (me)

Little Wonders

Our lives are made in these small hours - these little wonders - these twists and turns of fate. Time falls away, but these small hours - these little wonders still remain.

Back in June 2004 I had the opportunity to participate in a tour at Disney World called "Dolphins in Depth." The three hours was devoted to learning about the dolphins, their anatomy, their training sessions, and their conservation (and conservation of marine life in general). Approximately 30 minutes of those three hours were spent in the water with the dolphins. I had always wanted to simply touch a dolphin. Touch one, that's it. And here I was, in a wet suit, in the water with two dolphins. There were eight of us on the tour and we split into groups of four and each group was with one dolphin. While my group was rubbing down a dolphin, he opened up his blow hole and sprayed me in the face. A couple of teen girls from the other group saw and were "eww"-ing themselves to death, while I stood there laughing and smiling. We all received photos of us and our dolphin and after the tour ended I told Wes that nothing could ruin my day. I couldn't stop smiling and my cheeks hurt tremendously. When I brought the photo to work after returning home, one of my coworkers commented on how truly happy I looked. I can honestly say that it was one of the happiest moments of my life and thinking back on the experience still brings tears to my eyes. Some people have looked at me like I am crazy..."it's just a dolphin and it was just 30 minutes!" But it's a really big deal to me.

I have wasted too much of my life looking for the next grand moment...the moment that will sweep me off my feet and take my breath away. You know, the moments that are Grand Canyon-like where my husband all of a sudden transforms into the hero from some chick flick where everything he says and does is perfect. But that isn't reality. The reality is that my husband and I are both sinners and we don't have someone writing a script for us where we can always say the right things at the right time. My life isn't a series of one grand event after another. It's a series of small events that have grand meaning in my heart. Yes, there are grand events that have happened in my life that were truly some of the best moments of my life. Getting married would be one of them. But I've also found that I need to pay attention to the little moments...the moments that may mean nothing to someone else or may not last very long. I can't let the moment pass, I need to treasure them because I can never go back in time and relive that moment. Sure, I may have similar experiences in the future, but I will never relive that exact moment in time.

I am camera happy and one of my favorite photo subjects are my guinea pigs. I spent about an hour on the bed with Eggnog one day as I snapped photos of the two of us together. Not the easiest thing to do when you're holding the camera with one hand and you have a critter who is anxious to explore. So many of my pics came out blurry. But I love them because it captured a moment we had together...a moment that I felt peaceful and happy. My favorite picture of that day was captured right when he licked my nose. It's horribly out of focus, but I don't care. I will never forget the feeling I had when he turned to kiss me. The same is true for the little moments I share with Wes. I'll never forget the feelings I have when I get an email from him, or he picks a little flower for me, etc. Those moments just seem to make the bad go away.

Grand moments are awesome, but it's the little moments that make up most of our lives. We need to focus on them, not ignore them while waiting for the next big thing. Don't just stop and smell the roses. Study that rose, know it, remember it....cherish it.

All of my regret will wash away somehow,
but I cannot forget the way I feel right now.

Dolphins in Depth photo by Disney
Eggnog & Mary photo by Mary
"Little Wonders" lyrics (in italics) by Rob Thomas

Vacation!

It's almost vacation time for us...less than 2 weeks to go! T his will actually be our third trip this summer, the first was in Chicago for a week, then we spent a few days in Tennessee. But we're really excited about this trip because this trip is all about us. I love our families and I love to spend time with them, but I also cherish the times Wes & I just get away together. I can't remember if we heard it or read it somewhere, but when we were first married, we learned of advice to try and plan a vacation and/or getaway every year just as a couple. Not only does it help you refresh from "real life," but it also helps the couple to rejuvinate as a couple as you spend all that time together.

Wes and I try to do both...a vacation and a weekend getaway. Usually our weekend getaways are done in Chicago which I guess really isn't quite a getaway as we're usually busy trying to run from here to there and back here again. But there have been times that we've gone to a bed & breakfast, or made an impromptu trip to the Smoky Mountains, or the..ahem...Sybaris. There's just something about a romantic weekend getaway.

Usually, though, we forfeit those romantic weekend getaways in favor of a longer vacation. Our vacation spot has been Disney World for the last several years. We usually get funny looks when we announce we're going there again....but I guess it carries sentimental value as well. It was our honeymoon spot so returning back to where we honeymooned year after year is just awesome! It can also be a rather relaxing vacation for us since they take care of so many things:
-we don't even have to go to get our baggage after getting off the plane, Disney does it for us and they bring the luggage to our room free of charge
-free shuttle service from and to the airport
-free transportation all over the Resort which Wes loves because it means NO driving whatsoever for him when we're down there
We can go there and feel completely care free...just walk around as if we didn't have a care in the world. We know how to budget our trips well as we know the ins and outs of discount codes and frugal vacationing when already down there. I think that's part of the fun...booking the vacation with special promotions and realizing how much we saved as opposed to just blindly booking rack rates. Ok, so I'm turning into Travel Agent Mary here....

But seriously, there's something about getting away with Wes that excites me. It's time alone with just me and my husband. No family, no friends, no getting up early for work and staying up late trying to get things done, no trying to rush home from work to change and head back out to another job...nothing like that. Our only real responsibilities that week will be making sure we get to our dining reservations on time. Everything else is left at home. For an entire week, I have Wes all to myself. I LOVE that. The saddest and hardest part for me is leaving my furbabies behind. Last year I called my parents every day to check up on them and I'll be doing the same this year.

A few days ago Wes sent me an email telling me how much he was looking forward to this trip and not just because of it being Disney World (which he said was good though), but that because he gets to spend every waking moment with me...that it's a whole week with me, 24 hours a day. I just felt a surge of warmth and love. Seven years of marriage and we still get giddy and excited to be alone together like this.

Vacation is a blessing. But my husband is even more of a blessing! Vacationing with my wonderful husband is just insanely awesome!!

Marital Blessings

Yesterday was a wonderful day spent with my husband. We didn't do anything extraordinary...we just spent the day together doing little things here and there, including eating pizza and ice cream. I felt so content, so happy. Today I've been sitting at home doing an overview on our upcoming Disney World trip when I get a notification of a new email. When I check it, I see that it's from Wes. It was a short paragraph, but one that brought tears to my eyes...such a sweet love note from him. I love getting those notes from him, it makes me feel so valued and cherished. It's amazing how I feel when I get reminders of love from Wes. And if this is how Wes loves me, imagine the love God must feel for me and everyone else. God has an entire Bible of a love letter to me...every single word in there shows His awesome power and His mighty works and ultimately the sacrificing of His Son so that I could have eternal life. That is immense love!!

I absolutely love how Wes shows his love and affection for me. It is a huge blessing to me. And it's an even bigger blessing to see that it is God who is at work in our marriage...and one of the ways He shows His love for me is through my husband.