after already having a little girl
and
finding myself happily pregnant a second time
i wanted a little boy
more than anything else in the world
~
i grew up with two sisters
that i fought with throughout my entire childhood
so the idea of giving my daughter
a brother
to love
seemed like such a gift
~
and
he is
truly a gift
~
but
don't get me wrong. he has not been an easy child to raise these past few years.
not even close.
the easy child trophy goes to my daughter. what a breeze she's been.
~
when our son was little
he was very agreeable to how we parented and his love for life taught us how to live.
but
by the time he reached high school. well honestly there were days i wanted to lock him out of the house and wish him luck.
~
four years of
broken hearts. tears. frustration. yelling. silence. head shaking. door slamming. grounding.
finger pointing. sleepless nights. blurry mornings.
~
and
now we are here
~
with a son who is finally on a new path. finding his way. making us laugh again. talking for hours with us. working full time.
winning back the love of a sister who didn't like him for a long time.
~
and
oh was he ever sick this past weekend
~
when your nineteen year old son needs you to be with him at urgent care
two days in a row
you know he really doesn't feel good
~
and
as i sat waiting with him. taking this photo on my phone that he didn't see.
in my mind
he was 3 years old again suffering from another asthma attack.
he was 5 and having an allergic reaction to peanuts.
he was 8 and having his head stitched up after cracking it open on the side of the pool.
he was 12 and having his finger tips
super glued back together after a firework exploded in his hand
~
after a multitude of tests. we still don't know what was wrong.
and
today he's better
~
he's actually better in so many ways
and
his love for life
which he has never lost
even when life was ugly
is still tangible
~
i can't tell you how nice it is to have our son back
*