Revenge Scenarios

Like everyone else, I enjoyed Bailey White's first collection of short stories, Mama Makes Up Her Mind. I didn't like her next collections as well, but her writing is hard to object to in any big, excited way. The newest collection (Nothing With Strings) is a bit more depressing, in general, but I love one story in it, "The Progress of Deglutition." One of the things I like about it is that I didn't know the word "deglutition" until after I'd read the story, and it's like a punch line.

Another thing I like about this story is that it made me think about someone I met in my first semester of college. I came into a dorm room and discovered this person, named Ann, holding forth to an audience of other first-years about how she got revenge on an ex-boyfriend. The part I remember is that she licked mini-marshmallows and stuck them all over his car. Later when we got to be friends and roommates, I was actually involved in another of her revenge scenarios. Since the ex-boyfriend didn't know my voice, I called him and left a message purporting to be from the clinic where Ann was supposedly being treated for an STD. I don't think she does this anymore, but I'm not sure. We've lost track of each other over the years.

The fun of listening to Ann's stories was restored to me, though, by reading about how "Sally's husband Dave told her that their marriage felt like a snake around his neck, and he wanted a divorce" and how "it took Sally completely by surprise....finally she said in a tiny, feeble voice, "what kind of snake?" Sally moves out, and is passed around by her relatives until she ends up wiith Aunt Ethel, who traps rats. On their way to let a rat go, she drives by her house and sees Dave inside in an intimate pose with a woman as young as she was when they met, as young as their daughter. Guess what Sally does with the rat.

Isn't that just the story to cheer up a cold winter's day? You're welcome.