Ra.One – Bullet Point Report

• All the scenes involving Ra.One - except for the climax - are well executed. Sadly, the movie has other scenes too.


• This has to be one of the worst opening sequences in any film, ever.
  Its official; SRK should not ever do long hair again (unless he plays Lizardman or something similarly reptile-like).


• The special appearances are yawn inducing. Rajnikanth looks old and haggard – did Red Chillies run out of money to apply the Photoshop touchups ;)?


• What is it with SRK and Tamilian spoofs? He did a terrible one is OSO, and the one here is only marginally better – at least, in terms of Tamil dialogues (expecting the right accent is too much, I guess). The noodles scene was gross, though.


• The child acts reasonably well; just the fact that his emotions registered under that hideous wig says a lot.


• Kareena is terrible here – reminds one of her Khushi days. The sole saving grace is the “Chammak Challo” number. She still delivers that one moment, where she turns and smiles with the red in her eyes.


• After Cash and Ra.One, it is evident that Anubhav Sinha should stop doing any kind of humor and concentrate only on songs & action sequences. Designing video games would be a good career option as well, IMHO.


• As for SRK, he tries hard to make the movie work, but succeeds only to some extent. As the bumbling game developer, he is a bit endearing despite the hamming and the Tamil stereotyping etc – especially in the sequences where he tries to reach out to his son. However he screws up G.One by playing him as a mixture of Terminator II and Rahul.


• It is when you watch the forced humor here that you get to appreciate what someone like Karan Johar can do with his screenplay and dialogue-writing skills.


• SRK seems to be alluding to the rumors of his being bisexual as he cups Kareena’s breast and Arjun’s balls – both scenes were downright silly.


• To me, Ra.One was marginally better than Krish and Drona, as it seemed to be spoofing itself most of the time. However, it isn’t even in the same planet as Enthiran. To put things in perspective, Ra.One is sort of the like the mosquito episode in Enthiran.

Tees Maar Khan – Review

Much has been talked about of SRK’s split with Farah Khan (heck, SRK even did one of his famous quivering eyebrows teary-eyed act on Koffee with Karan that predictably had Karan sniffing and shedding a few tears of his own – one of the more nauseating television acts I have had the misfortune of seeing), but if all of Farah’s future films are going to be scripted / lifted by her husband, then SRK has probably done the right thing. Kitsch as they might be, MHN and OSO were smart, and had some genuinely funny moments. TMK has (maybe) one LOL moment, and predictably this is a scene without Akshay Kumar in it. But then, even SRK could not have salvaged TMK. SRK definitely has the last laugh here.

The first 10 minutes are fun, and that is about it. The next 2.5 hours leave you reeling with the agony of watching an impossibly painful movie. Don’t believe me? Take one of those mindless Priyadarsan remakes (Hungama, Hulchul etc); multiply the inanity and screaming by around 75%, and substitute Paresh Rawal (who for all his faults can definitely conjure up at least a grin in an hour) with a bunch of un-funny non-actors – you would pretty much get something similar to TMK.

For a non-actor, Akshay Kumar has had a pretty good run at Bollywood. However, he needs to select his scripts with better care. A smart-aleck act and a gummy smile can only be tolerated so far; a few slick action flicks are the want of the day. Frankly, AK is intolerable in TMK.

Katrina Kaif looks hot, and acts as if she is acting badly – not that she has to try too hard. However, all is forgiven with the Sheila Ki Jawani number. Akshaye Khanna hams it up to the hilt; he makes the most of what is really a role meant for Johny Lever. Arya Babbar looks interesting. The rest of the cast deserve to be spoken about (nay abused) in the filthiest of epithets.

Farah Khan has clearly lost her edge; perhaps she cannot do a film that is not a Bollywood spoof. At the very least, she should desist from any future collaboration with her husband (for films!), and write her own scripts. Eating humble pie and teaming up with SRK again would probably be a terrific idea as well.

Verdict: DO.NOT.WATCH.

Indian Cinema '07 - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Restricted to Hindi, Tamil and Malayalam cinema, of course.

THE GOOD

Irffan Khan in 'The Namesake': To carve out a memorable personality out of what seems to be a no-role at first glance is, by itself, a tremendous achievement. Ashok Ganguli is, at least on paper, an unobtrusive, gentle and quiet Bengali - not exactly an author-backed role. What Irffan Khan, hitherto known mostly for his venomous dialogue-spewing roles, puts into this role is tremendous dignity. And of course, he manages to completely out shadow Tabu in an author-backed role.

Pankaj Kapur in 'The Blue Umbrella': To say that Nandkishor is one of this great actor's worthiest performances should be testimonial enough, for its been no ordinary career. Traversing the path of cunning / wily to sympathetic over the course of 3 hours is not something that many actors can even dream of. Pankaj makes it look oh-so remarkably simple.

Priyamani in 'Paruthi Veeran': A knockout performance by an actor nobody had rated very highly - hell, not even thought of as meriting attention. As the feisty, fiery Muthazhagu, she simply sets the screen alight. The scenes where she stubbornly refuses to shed so much as one tear as her father thrashes her, and of course the shocker of a climax are her best scenes; but her whole obstinate demeanor, though a tad reminiscent of Abhirami from 'Virumandi', had me very, very impressed.

Jeeva in 'Katrathu Thamizh': The protagonists of Kathrathu Thamizh', and to a lesser extent, the one of 'Veyil' too are losers. Both of them have been beat by life, and the failure of their lives stare at them in the face. While Pasupathy in 'Veyil' is completely defeated and wallows in self-pity, Jeeva unravels and becomes mentally unhinged. Though I do not completely agree with the film, Jeeva has turned in a truly remarkable performance, further strengthening the belief that he is one of the most talented young actors around.

Aditya Shrivastava in 'Black Friday': Contrary to most reviews, I thought this performance was miles ahead of Kay Kay's in the movie (which has my vote for movie of the year). As Badshah Khan simmered with frustration, rage, resentment and finally hopelessness, I quite forgot that this was a performance. A comeback of sorts, after 'Satya'.

Kareena Kapoor in 'Jab We Met': Kareena's been trying comedic roles for quite sometime now. In fact, going by the likes of 'Khushi' and 'Mujhse Dosti Karoge', she'd been trying a bit too hard. She finally gets the balance just right. As the loud, self-obsessed Geet, she's a scream, and is also a perfect foil to Shahid, who tries hard to look quiet and dignified.

SRK in 'Chak De India': It is easy to dismiss this performance as 'for once, he just underplayed, yaar!'. Yes, he did, and to great effect too. SRK was every inch Kabir Khan, the haughty but patriotic hockey coach who wanted to live his dream through his team. Unlike some of our other superstars, SRK proves that his acting chops have not deserted him yet, nowhere more than in the scene where his eyes mist up in the climax.

Darsheel Zafary in 'TZP': He literally carries the film on his shoulders. Consider what a more obnoxious child actor, like Master Raju of yesteryear, could have done to this film.

Sarika in 'Parzania': This is a performance that hits you in the gut - all the more, since you don't expect it of her. They should have given her both the National Awards - the male and female versions !

Vinay Pathak in 'Bheja Fry' & 'Aaja Nachley': The discovery of the year, even if he did not go around dropping his towel. Remarkable comedic skills, a chameleon-like ability to switch personalities, and an endearing screen presence - this rotunded, cherubic actor has already displayed more skill than many 'heroes' have in a lifetime.

Anurag Kashyap, Lal Jose, Balaji Sakthivel & Aamir Khan: For 'Black Friday', 'Arabikatha', 'Kalloori' and 'Taare Zameen Par' respectively.

THE BAD:

Gautham Menon: I was horrified and insulted by 'Pachaikili...'. Is this the best this promising director could make of the promising 'Derailed' by James Seigel? He's gone down a few notches in my estimate.

Mohanlal: In 1992, Mohanlal's filmography read 'Sadayam', 'Kamaladalom', 'Aham', 'Rajashilpi', 'Adwaitham', 'Suryagayathri' and 'Vietnam Colony'. In 2007, it reads 'Chotta Mumbai', 'Hallo', 'Alibhai', 'Rock N Roll', 'Flash' and the sole grace, 'Pardesi'. Add to this the excreable 'RGV Ki Aag', and a controversial interview, and you have the writing on the wall: the humiliation of one of the greatest actors the Indian screen has ever seen.

Vidhu Vinod Chopra & Sanjay Leela Bhansali: Like guru, like protege. Trust the duo to hype up their films, deliver pretentious crap, and then howl at 'stupid audiences & critics' for not being 'intelligent enough'. VVC needs to shut up and hand over the directorial baton to Raju Hirani, while Bhansali needs to lose all this baggage of being a 'sensitive' director, lose chamchas like a certain Mr.Jha, and start afresh (not plagiarizing would be a definite start).

Yashraj Films: All glamor and no content makes the Chopra a bad boy. As always, SRK rescues them with 'Chak De', but barely.

Konkona Sen: For proving that even she can act badly. Don't believe me? Watch 'Aaja Nachley'.

Lohithadas: For that monstrosity called 'Chakkaramuthu'. Its unfathomable how a writer who gave us the likes of 'Thaniyavarthanom' and 'Kireedom' could fall to such levels of mediocrity, nay ineptitude.

Priyadarsan: The Mallu readers already know why!

THE WORST:

Preity Zinta: All that collagen injections are showing. The perky gal from 'Dil Se' has been replaced by the irritating, collagen-sustained, pouting creature in 'Jhoon Barabar Jhoom'. Lara Dutta, with that delicious French accent, showed her a thing or three about comedic timing.

Nisha Kothari: As I'd suggested elsewhere, she should migrate to 'Malluwood' and give poor old Shakeela a run for her money.

Ram Gopal Verma: 'RGV Ki Aag' alone would have helped RGV make the bottom of the heap. He also gave us 'Go' and 'Darling'.

I regret to say that I have not watched a lot of (supposedly) good films like 'Ore Kadal', 'Pardesi' etc. I daresay, if I'd watched these (and other) films, my list might have been altered.

Sideburns and Bellbottoms

'Om Shanti Om', widely touted as the tribute to the kitschy cinema of the 1970s, features the re-union of SRK and Farah Khan after the hugely successful 'Main Hoon Naa'. SRK, a lot like Sreenivasan in 'Udayananu Tharam', plays a supremely untalented junior artist who wants to make it big. And make no mistake, this is a role tailor-made for the trademark mannerisms of SRK the star (as opposed to the actor, who reigned supreme with effective performances in 'Swades' and 'Chak De') - the stammer, the arched quirky eyebrows and the omnipresent hamming rather make sense in a movie like this, really. And his bubblegum-chewing modern star-son act, though irritating, hits the mark all too well - I mean, I can all too well imagine a Fardeen Khan or Tushaar Kapoor doing the same things!

However, I have to admit that I very much preferred the cheeky 'Main Hoon Naa' to this bloated, bursting-at-the-seams star vehicle. Yes, OSO does have some great in jokes (my personal favorites are the by-now-infamous Manoj Kumar sequence, the throwaway Govinda bit and of course the delightful 'Maine Pyar Kiya' reference), the awesome spoof on Filmfare awards, and also features the original 'Om Shanti Om' song sequence from one of the greatest masala potboilers of Hindi cinema ever. However, it also has a rather boring plot, inadequate music (despite the catchy six-pack ditty), an over-hyped 31-star song where one is forced to hear (for the first and probably only time ) admiring oohs when the likes of Arbaaz Khan, Sunil Shetty, Dino Morea etc enter the frame, and worst of all, a complete letdown of a climax 'inspired' from the above-mentioned 'Karz' (and another classic too, revealing the name of which would probably spoil what little novelty the climaz holds). 'MHN' managed to pay the same kind of homage, with a lot more tongue-firmly-in-cheek humor, and more importantly, without the conceit and pomp associated with this film.

The supporting cast comprises chiefly of the delightful Kiron Kher (who does the melodramatic Nirupa Roy kind-of role with just that amount of cheesiness), the under-utilized Shreyas Deshpande, and the surprisingly-sleazy-looking Arjun Ramphal (who, judging by his past few films, has firmly hitched onto the SRK bandwagon to make hay even while the sun does not shine). Deepika Padukone looks fantastic, and emotes well with what little she is entrusted with. Farah Khan's song picturizations are, surprisingly, lackluster. She has been claiming in quite a few interviews that conventional Bollywood choreography bores her nowadays, and believe me, the dis-interest shows. However, the rest of the film is super-grand technically, visually and aesthetically.

What does Farah Khan do next, though? She already has two films that pay homage to the bygone era of Bollywood, and appears to have exhausted the nostalgia factor. The litmus test for her would be whether she can make a completely different film next time - a whodunit perhaps?

My World This Week

BOOKS:

Read a satisfying book after ages - debutant novelist Cody Mcfayden weaves a great tale of serial killers and an elite FBI taskforce in his 'Shadow Man'. Given that this is a theme done to death (and that too, by authors as gifted as Thomas Harris and Michael Connelly, just to name two offhand), the author does a fabulous job. Smoky Barrett, wounded in all senses of the word, makes for an endearing heroine - not quite a Clarice Starling, but pretty great alright. I'd recommend this book anyday, especially to fans of the genre.

MOVIES:

Watched 'Iruvar' once again, and fell in love with the movie all over again. For the few unfortunate moviegoers who haven't seen this movie yet, rent / buy a copy straightaway; somebody has also put up the whole damn movie on Google Videos, fyi. For one, its the best Mani Ratnam movie ever, IMO. And, it has Mohanlal at his awesome, vintage best (he really deserves to be called vintage now!) - whoa, what a performance! In addition, it has Prakash Raj matching Mohanlal scene for scene, in the second amazing performances of the movie.

The movie deals with the dynamics of the MGR-Karunanidhi duo. Hindsight is a great thing to have, and it shows in a lot of the dialogues (a young Karunanidhi remarking to actor MGR that the latter's entry into politics would really 'kill' him - ironic and sorta sad, since it did turn out to be sorta true). The weak link is mostly Jayalalitha's character, played by Aish Rai in her first ever screen appearance. She's better here than all her other screen appearances put together, but most of her screen-time appears to be heavily edited, and the character suffers as a result. There's another scene where Mani slyly hints that Jaya might have actually goaded MGR into raising arms against his old friend KNidhi. In the end, its virtually a school of acting from Lal - given a meaty role to sink his teeth into, Mohanlal shows once again why he's up there matching shoulders with the rest of them.

Kamal Hassan's 'Hey Ram' is another movie that has few things wrong with it. Except for some self-indulgent direction and poor graphics, this is a near masterpiece of a movie. Semi-fiction as a genre is rare in Indian cinema, and so is a film criticizing the policies of Gandhi (no matter how obliquely). 'Hey Ram' straddles both worlds with aplomb most of its running time.

Its a heavily researched movie, and the effort shows. Characters speak in their own mother-toungues most of the time (unlike a Kashmiri terrorist conveniently knowing Tamil, for instance), and are seldom black or white. Kamal himself is grey here - a mere puppet in the hands of Hindu hardliners such as Abhayankar (splendidly enacted by Atul Kulkarni). References abound - whether they be to Sarvarkar's controversial works (its not clear whether the movie refers to Hinduvta or Gandhi Gondhal), or to the Ramayana. Its intelligent movie-making here from Kamal, with little thought or compromise made in the name of entertainment. It might have affected the movie's BO prospects, but then so be it, I guess.

The performances are just awesome: Naseer as Gandhi is very convincing. Amjad Khan's son plays a rioting Muslim, and is pretty sleazy. Rani and Vasundhra Das do turn in good performances, but end up being remembered more as the target of Kamal's lecherous gropes. Atul Kulkarni steals the show from the lot of them with ease. Kamal is just apt acting-wise, but its as a screenplay writer and director that he is in complete control here.

Also watched Farhan Akhtar's and SRK's version of 'Don'. Of course, none of the current actors manage to match the charisma of their counterparts in the original (esp Kareena; SRK comes the closest); but still, watching the new hi-fi Don is fun alright. The action sequences are nicely done, SEL put in some nice numbers (the new numbers, that is; the remixes are not a shade on the originals) and the climax packs a tremendous punch (which the purists and staunch AB loyalists are gonna hate, obv).

Farhan manages to rein in Khan, and except for the horrible dialect he attempts as the normal guy, he comes out truimphs in and as the new-age Don. He is much more cruel and sadistic than AB ever could be; however, he's not a patch on AB in the style department. AB was naturally stylish, despite the horrible clothes he wore; SRK tries hard to be, and the effort shows sometimes.

'Jaaneman' was alright, I suppose. Salman struts his stuff, Akshay Kumar was affable for the most part (and I loved that goofy laugh of his) and Preity is her chirpy self. Director Shirish Kunder attempts to make a Broadway show out of the movie, and would have brought it off were it not for the stale, insipid music by Anu Malik (save the Ajnabi number). Also, for the record: its painful to hear Gulzar pen words like 'mera future hai tere hath mein' or some such crap. He should stick to his splendid Urdu-spouting self. Oh, and how I wish men would learn not to weep like they'd caught their dick in their zips or something; SRK started the trend, and now everybody seems to be following suit; terrinble I tell you!

'Vivaah' was too, too sweet for my taste. All the reverence and goodness made me want to puke. Amrita Rao (who I like) looks piteously at everybody, behaving like a pregnant cow; Shahid sports his 'I'm SRK' ruffled hairstyle and runs around like a loveshorn puppy - uck, in one word!

MUSIC:

Its ARR all the way here. First it was 'Munbe Vaa' from the Tamil flick 'Sillunu Oru Kaadhal', and now its the songs from the much awaited 'Guru'. As has been the norm, ARR seems to reserve his best stuff for Mani Ratnam.

'Tere Bina' is a gem of a number sung by ARR himself in a Sufi style, reminiscent of the great Nusret - its amazing how different Chinmayi sounds here (she sang the title track in 'Kannathil Muthamittaal'). 'Aiy Hairathe' is another splendid romantic ditty, that wouldn't have been out of place in the upcoming 'Jodha-Akbar'; its sung exquisitely by Hariharan and Alka. And then we have the soaring 'Jaago', which begins as a hush and soars into a full-blown extravagantly orchestrated piece.