Ending of a year...

here I am, after a year in this profession... fiu~ what an experience... So, to recap:

1. Now my form 5 students are almost finished answering SPM English paper... I am anxious for them, praying hard for them to answer it well....it's hard not to get emotionally attach because i taught their tuition...

2. I had a jamuan (illegal!) with my 4 Dahlia students (a few of them , laen dah amik cuti awal2).. apparently they will still be with me for next year, except I won't be teaching them...

SPM and STPM!

SPM and STPM start tomorrow!

nehhh~? sgt cepat? I really lost count of the days, last time I checked, it was 30 days-to-SPM.. how time flies~

anyhow, I'll be invigilating for STPM starting tomorrow.. pray that my legs can stand for 3 hours for each paper.. haha, that's the consequence I have to bear. I was approached and asked to replaced some teachers to invigilate the SPM and STPM.. thinking hard, I opted for STPM because;

- it will finish on 10th of Dec, unlike SPM which will be on 16th of Dec.. on 11th will be driving up to Pahang for my niece's kenduri

- the school is quite near to my house, nevermind about the TnT or milage claim.. I'm afraid I'll arrive late there if it is too far

- erm, saja? jaga budak2 besar senang sket kot... I guess, lemme check it out tomorow okay~

btw, I got my surat lantikan yesterday and busy doing the Medical Checkup thingy today..

That's the final straw

The news I was waiting and anticipating for had came out. Yerp, sad but true..

apa2 aja lah.. (numb feeling)

wish it was for the best..

hmm, I'll wait for the blast to register in my mind..

oh kamon, i had prepared myself for this..

...

a peek on life-as-me..

Busy bee~

Since when i became a workaholic?? a nice question to ponder during this hols i guess..

Anyway, here I am, 2 months from my last posting, hahaha~ very inconsistent.. And here I am again, darker and moodier than before..

[29,30 & 31 Oct]

Literally darker, bcoz of the teachers' tournament (pskppk) in which I took part, and really enjoyed myself out there! Our district won 3rd placing for badminton, after we made it to the semi finals and lost by 2 points to KBB. Then, we were the first runner up for volleyball... we lost to Kota Setar, we were too tired after we beat KMY.. huargh~ life's like that.. alhamdulillah Allah..


[1-4 Nov]

hoho, after the game, I just knew that I have to replace a friend of mine to a volleyball 'coaching' course, which will be held on...erm..lemme check the date.. tomorrow!! oh well, nvrmind.. it will be in Alor Setar, so I willingly accepted the offer.. Upon arrival, I found out something... Apparently, the course is a Calon Pengadil or Refereeing Course! darn, i was misled! So there I was, in BTP Alr Star for a 4 days course, and I enjoyed myself there too! :)



anyway, despite by hectic schedule, deep down inside.. I'm hurting, by your ignorance and attitude.. please la, stop it.

my fav song at this moment

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesnt get your humour like I do

I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself
Hey isnt this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me

It becomes ugly and uglier

Ya Allah...permudahkanlah

“You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.”

...

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

The Climb




I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m gonna remember most yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on
Cause...

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb

Keep the faith
Keep your faith

[ Miley Cyrus: Hannah Montana ]

"fuh fuh.." (sapu habuk)... it's been a while.. yerp, me so malas to blog nowadays, haish... anyway, some updates:

1. My students won THIRD placing for the drama competition! yeay, considering there were 7 teams and our school is the last in the ranking of the invisible-English-competency-rank.. we did it!




2. I did my SPP interview last month, and interestingly my interviewer was a Dato' who initiated my degree program.. Mine was a very long session, i lost count at 40 minutes! Am I lucky or what? so basically, I felt at ease talking about my experience in a 'luar bandar' school..he shared some of interesting insights in education.... alhamdulillah..

3. I finished marking my students' Topical Test 2 paper BEFORE this holiday.. *grin*

4. I have this fancy idea of not being a teacher, and to pursue something more demanding?? don't get me wrong, I love teaching, my students and my school.. but somehow i feel dissatisfied with something and have the need to brave/conquer the outside world? arghh, I'm not making any sense! next!

5. 'assalamualaikum..salam 1 Malaysia.. Yang Berusaha Pengetua SMK bla bla..' --> I was the emcee for Majlis Sambutan Bulan Kemerdekaan.. Darn! They forced me into it,mildly.. or in other word, i HAVE to do it.. not that I have a choice to refuse.. But it went well despite a few slip-of-tongue and breathless voices (not choking!)..

6. My love life, is my love life after all peeps.. thank you.. interesting how many people would go to do matchmaking for you :)

...

Perlis in One day

Guess what? Another school trip!

nevermind, I think I lioke~ going off school for a trip.. this time, to Perlis. My almost-hometown place.. This is held by Jabatan Sains Pertanian, definitely nothing to do with me.. but as usual, single and available for the moment, I was the bidan terjun for Guru pengiring perempuan..

So we went to Radix factory in Jejawi, which was enlightening




Hmm, should I just use my H1N1 mask?


the kids-who-make-me-smile-and-cry


then, interestingly to Gua Kelam 2 (I never been there yet!)and took a ride on the train into the cave


going into the cave








Actually, I was looking forward for a visit to some ladang anggur, but we were late on schedule! hukhuk...


...

CuTi~ kah?

School hols almost over!

kejap je dah abes 2 mnggu hols.. tak sempat tanda kertas exam budak2 ni lagi... imagine 5 classes x 2 papers x 30 lbih students = 300papers ??? hah! *faint~* (bru sedar byk rupanya)

During this school holiday, I also have to finish doing an action research, asked by the ppd.. Before this, I had to go for the briefing, as my name was given by my principal.. Hence, now I have to come out with a REAL action research paper....nak merepek ape nih? Due date: 16 June! huhuhu~

After this school hols, I also have to train my students for the Drama competition.. hmm, kalau cekgu aje yg bsmngt, susah jgk~ let's hope my students won't back off from this competition. And.. this remind me of a script I need to submit to school in charge. Cuti ni dah kna siap2.. Expected date to fax it: 16 June! huhuhu again~

As I am a last minute person, pushed by all sorts of things to do before and during the school hols, this are the consequences i have to face. Ape pn, chaiyok!

Graduating Ceremony aka Konvo

I had apply for Cuti Rehat for Thursday 28 May. My principal was quite reluctant to grant it, but nevertheless did it. So after school on wednesday, I straight away drove off to KL with my new sweetheart, encik KCL, hehe.. with my parents, off course.. We stopped by at my bro house in Ipoh.

By friday, we were already in Serdang Raya, my sis house, which I managed to get to without getting lost! yeay~ So, ehem, back to story, I had a registration and rehearsal in IPBA. I collected all the attire for the grad as well.. it's great to meet most of my friends~ can't wait to meet up with Mai n Needy, tiyah, mimi, dayah,zue, and so on~



Anyway, after the ceremony, we planned to roam around in KL with our robes and snapped picture, which we did in Dataran Merdeka.. Nida and I arrived a tad later than promised, huhu, sorry mai, sayda, tiyah n mimi! it was a great moment to remember, how we carelessly draped on the robe and posed for the camera..hehe.. then, Nida and I lepak together at my sis house~

Saturday, the big day.. Nothing much to be said, except that I was kind of on cloud 9 and at the same time blur.. Anne's speech deeply touched my heart, as I believed my frens' as well.. terharu... huhu...

so, that was it.. that was the final goodbye to my fellow mates.. :(

alhamdulillah I didn't trip my feet on the way to receive the degree, and my convo pictures turned out to be okay! I am grateful that I finished the course smoothly.. (hah! smoothly?? that's an understatement of the year jijah!!) hehe..



John Hope and I


will miss you girls


with the great Aucklanders

that's all, OUR FINAL GOODBYE....thanks to everyone who had made me who I am today.. thank you mom n dad, family, my dear friends, lecturers and you guys that had touched me along the way.. 'I Love U'all~'


...

it's a girl~

Alhamdulillah... my sis gave birth to a baby girl at 6.50 pm, 8th of May 2009.. :) I was very worried as she looked very tired in the delivery room..went to the hospital at 5am, and she was taken there at 9 am..

i can't imagine the pain she hd gone through..huhu.. alhamdulillah..it went well

Good News ('',)

Today my gurls won Volleyball tournament, district level.. so they will represent zon Baling-Sik to the state level.. very proud and happy with their achievement.. I am their coach, coach yg kadang kala blurr.. Lucky to have the senior coach to guide the team.. Can't imagine me alone doing all those management and coaching.


Today, I got the news that my long-lost friend is here in baling! currently working as a counselor in a school about 500m from mine.. what a small world~ :) can't wait to see how I'll meet that person again, after 3 years of separation.


Lastly, it seems that a lot of my friends are getting/ were engaged... And some will get married soooonn... hehe... so CONGRATS!~ happy for you guys :) As for you, I heard about it, and hope you'll be happy..

Histeria..

okay.. it happened. really happened right before my eyes..

9.00 pm. Arrived at the hostel, to help students with their preparation for Majlis Tadarus Al Quran..

10.30 pm : Suddenly, my student was called to go to the school block, where the form 2 and 4 students were having their prep class.. [hmm, something was wrong..]

then, the male warden passed by the reading room, and asked me to come along.. [ohhkayy, definitely something was on]. So, knowing nothing, I tagged along.

Apparently, there was a 'gangguan from -----'. Erm, what to do? How to act? Should i call someone? Luckily, the senior students seemed to know what they are doing, and they were somehow trained to face this situation.. (very impressive).. so, everyone was asked to return to hostel, and alhamdulillah.. things calmed down... so, I** and I continued coaching Zaki, and helping out Sukran.

11.30 pm : This is when things got heated up.. A very serious case, I think. One of the girl was possessed and she got a bit violent. 7 of us holding her alone.. I can say, I was very scared.. Yes, I admit I was scared. It happened right before my eyes, and that was my first time in my 24 years of living! Though I lived in hostels for more than 9 years, I've never encountered or experienced anything like this before.. [Ya Allah, I thank You for that..]

So, back to the story, we did what we can, and prayed hard to Allah.. We recited Yassin and Ayatul Qursi over and over again.. As I said before, the senior students are used to this situation, that they handled it well.. Syukran Ya Allah..

As a teacher, it's not a good feeling to feel inadequate at something. Yet, this one was really challenging.. There and then, if offered a warden position, instinctively my answer will most probably be 'No, thanks~'


('~')

~Of trip, birthday present, cakes and a song~

My first trip as a teacher...

Thursday, 2.30 p.m., Hostel's compound:

I went to Sedim River, in Kedah..aroud 45 minuted drive there. but on that day, I went with kak ita by bus, along with the students.. The camp will be for Pengawas Asrama sekolah, and I dunno how my name appeared in the list. I'm not a warden, and not even a counselor... hurm.. There's a story behind it as well..

* * *

Well, to start with, there are two of us I** n I. As mentioned by kak ita, she nominated both of our names for it, but only my name was in it. orait, so Mr PI aka the warden was surprised, and did his best to convinced I** that she was supposed to be in the trip. He msged her. Here's his own words "kak ita heran knapa nma I** x dak, sya pn heran knapa nama Jijah ada"... Touche~ owhkayy, u are mean! geram dah..


* * *

The day before that --> Wednesday, in Baling

I woke up this morning, feeling something and everything is wrong~ so, i decided to skip school today. I called up the school, and I** took me to Hospital Baling for check up and MC, of course..(thank u).. nothing much on the noon. Then, Mr PI called me to ask help in picking up cakes for a Hostel event tonight, 'majlis smbutan maulidur rasul n smbutan hari jadi bdk hostel'. of course I can't help, I was sick, and left with no car. Nvrmnd.

Evening

I was hungry. Apparently I** was late from her evening-session school bcoz she picked up the cakes, and she didn't msg me earlier (I expect a lot from her right, hmm). So, I was hungry, sick and alone. When she came back, kak ita called and asked for help. Kna tlg bawak budak hostel pi hospital, as the other wardens with cars, were not around. There was a girl who broke her ring finger. We waited at the emergency room till 9 p.m. Hectic evening. Dah la we were getting ready for the hostel's event which started at 8 pm. We were late. Again, I was hungry, sick, tired and late! but still have to attend the ceremony, thanks to Mr PI! I** was forced by him to come, so nak tak nak, I also had to come.

Events of the night, ceramah frm ustaz Rifaie, then giving out presents to students who were born on Jan, Feb and March. And lastly, to teachers who were born on Jan, Feb and March.. owhhkay. we didn't know about this. so, they called out names. And I, who foolishly thought that my name will be in it, was left crushed.. The MC announced, 'Akhir sekali, Cikgu I** N***** binti si polan si polan'.. I was dumbfounded... (I was born on 23rd January okay!)..they didn't call out my name!?

it's okay, i can live with that.. (sapa suruh perasan,kan?)

but then, my mind began to think:

- my precious students, whom I spend most of my time with during and after school hour, don't even know my birthday but knew i**'s.. that hurts me..

- those students whom I am closed with, compared to I**, do not make the effort to know both of our birthdays, but only knew one (which is hers)! that's a real blow~.

- Even the warden, Mr PI who I knew is interested in I**, did not realize the damage done. Busy tuning his attention towards I**.. (okay, now i sound like a jealous person. Am not~)

I was devastated, my emotions were in turmoil, I hold back my tears.. (ntah knape emotional sgt mlm tuh). And I was mad, someone whom I called a friend, didn't say anything, but was happy in her own world, unaware of my grief. She could have said something! 'are you okay?' or at least make a remark like 'jijah, they forgot ur birthday..'.. ooh, i knew she knew my birthday, we just discussed about it the day before that. But she just said 'ya Allah jah..' and smileeddd~ while holding her present. HeLlloo~ earth to I**? I'm still here, with the hurt look on my face. I was provoked beyond reasons, and it hurts! I was mad because she doesn't know how to handle the situation.

We went back to our house, and I cried alone.. I had to do something to let my feelings known. Deep inside, I was mad with everything and everyone. So, couldn't contained myself, I msgd Mr PI

'salam, sya pn lahir January jgk.. kecik ati...'

and he replied

'wsalam, ye ke? sya tak tau, event ni bdk2 yg handle.. depa tlepas pndang la tu'..

I didnt reply for that, what for? no point, but being a good person (yeah, puji la dia sket) he kept msging me nak pujuk konon.. I don't need that. Do that to ur sweetheart, to I** perhaps. Mind you.. I'm not 'merajuk', I was just having a moment of despair, or easily put, 'saya kecik hati'.. that's all. I don't know why i felt so irritated when people labeled that as 'merajuk'. I was about to back off from tomorrow's trip to Sedim, but I know I can't and I couldn't. My conscience won't let me. Besides, I had given them my words.

I** on the other hand, had decided not to go, as her name was not on the programme book. fine.

* * *

Thursday evening (smbung yg tadi)

so, nak tak nak, there I was, waiting for the bus on Thursday, with kak ita n those students.. try to act normal..hurm, I sensed something fishy. The students seemed to act weird ('.'?). We loaded the bus, and started off our journey to Sedim. On our way there, one of the students used the haler to make an announcement. That was what I thought at first. He went on 'assalamualaikum, kami nak mntk maaf kat Cikgu Azizah sbb semalam x bagi hadiah kat dia. Jadi harap ckgu dapat maafkan kami..' they came to me with a cake and a present, singing happy birthday, with innocent face on each one of them. (on the moving bus! dangerous).. I couldn't resist, but to forgive them.. I may not be able to forget, especially to those who did nothing to rectify the situation! But for these students, I was flattered with their efforts. I knew somehow Mr PI was involved in planning this. thank you. at least you know how to act. Truly, I don't expect or want u guys to do this. I don't care about the presents or cakes. Anyhow, i appreciate what the students did. Malas nak pjgkan crita, i'm okay with them now.

I remembered Sukran's words 'teacher, slagi sya ada, sya akan pastikan teacher gembira'.. aaaawwwwww~.. then they also sang 'wahai guruku, mengapa cemburu~ na na na na (i don't know the lyric, haha)' obviously they substituted the word 'sayangku' with 'guruku'...

apapun, I still managed to enjoy my trip to Sedim with the hostelians... and I love you all... hoho

('.'*)

My memorable trip to Sedim 12, 13 and 14 March 2009

Kak Ita, Cg Azhan, Cg Zambry, and students (ada Hilmi kecik!)



Some of the kids, tgh dgr briefing for water rafting


This was what we did there..



I did it too.. hehe. Sukran yg kanan skali :)

Right here!

A month and a half... that was the duration of being a 'Miss Azizah' in my new school.. Very happy and grateful to be posted here.. The school environment is totally different if compared to the school during my practicum. LOVE the kids! These students are my sunshine, and they are also my bitter pills...haish~

I'm the class teacher for 4 Dahlia... So far, i'm in good term and being with them makes me feel great! Somehow, to help my classroom management and obtaining their attention, I have set the rules that whenever I call out '4 D' or '4 Dahlia', they'll have to answer me 'right here!'... Since then, these students had cheekily teased me with that line. For instance, during one of my class with 4D, I asked them a question, which no one knows the answer (or don't want to answer)... suddenly Izzat raised his hand...

Miss A: Yes, Izzat? Do you know the answer?

With his innocent and confidence face... he answered...

Izzat : Teacher, right here. (What????!)

Hahaha, I couldn't not resist but to laugh :D out of nowhere, 'right here' was an answer.. He did this intentionally! Izzat had once said, "teacher, that's gonna be your 'tagline'".. (I was impressed he used the word 'tagline' haha)

And that was just the beginning... Try to imagine , when I joined the boys to play volleyball, Mahfurz jumped for a block and unconsciously shouted "right here!" (Whattt??? again).. Even Ikhwan would definitely won't waste any opportunity to use that line.. Passing by classes I'm in, he'll whisper (loudly!).."right here~!"

Hmm...Yesterday and today, Izzat, Mahfurz, Ikhwan, and 5 other students had transferred to Sekolah Teknik.. It’s gonna be my sweet memories with them... no more teasing from them, no more cheeky smiles and jokes, or bubbly personalities. They are my FIRST students, no matter what..Hmm, c'est la vie~

Posting is out~!

My handphone has been beeping 3 times, messages kept coming in.. okay2, kejap lagi check.. I was busy attending my guests..

*** msg 1: posting is out
msg 2: senarai skolah dh kuar, ko dpt mna?

so..cepat2 check on the internet..

------- Penempatan Anda di KEDAH -------

alhamdulillah... i don't know whether to be happy or excited or ...something! it's my hometown, my gosh.. let's see on this Monday which school i will be posted to... i prayed to be where He thinks is the best for me..

***

nak dijadikan cerita, somehow i had problem with my hp phonebook.. so, basically i only have 15 contact numbers in my sim + phone.. isk isk... takpe, isu ni buleh la di resolve in the best way i can think of.. call nida, mtk nombor, hehe...