The Last Leaves Falling by Sarah Benwell

And these are they. My final moments. They say a warrior must always be mindful of death, but I never imagined that it would find me like this . . .

Japanese teenager, Sora, is diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). Lonely and isolated, Sora turns to the ancient wisdom of the samurai for guidance and comfort. But he also finds hope in the present; through the internet he finds friends that see him, not just his illness. This is a story of friendship and acceptance, and testing strength in an uncertain future.

It is surprisingly difficult to express my feelings about this book. I literally had all of the feels reading this, from insane joy at their friendship to incredible sadness at Sora's situation. The whole thing was so very sad but powerful and really emphasised the importance of friendship.

Through Sora's difficult and painful story, we see him come to grips with his illness, how his family and friends deal with it - or not, as the case may be - and accepting our fate, no matter how hard that is. Sora especially has a tough time realising his limitations and comes to the horrible but very brave decision.

We also saw the impact of the internet generation, both the good and bad. What I did love was how Sora used chat rooms to connect with other people; we may be often warned of the dangers of strangers on the net but sometimes strangers are just what we need, and people are usually nicer than we give them credit for. However, we also saw the bad side with dangerous spam making the rounds, corrupting poor young minds. It was all completely realistic, showing how ingrained the internet is in our lives and how much we rely on it. 

This book was just incredible. From the setting and Japanese history to the important message of acceptance, it was very much a roller coaster of emotions but an amazing story.

Published 29th January 2015 by Definitions.

If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan

Seventeen-year-old Sahar has been in love with her best friend, Nasrin, since they were six. They've shared stolen kisses and romantic promises. But Iran is a dangerous place for two girls in love—Sahar and Nasrin could be beaten, imprisoned, even executed if their relationship came to light.

So they carry on in secret—until Nasrin's parents announce that they've arranged for her marriage. Nasrin tries to persuade Sahar that they can go on as they have been, only now with new comforts provided by the decent, well-to-do doctor Nasrin will marry. But Sahar dreams of loving Nasrin exclusively—and openly.

Then Sahar discovers what seems like the perfect solution. In Iran, homosexuality may be a crime, but to be a man trapped in a woman’s body is seen as nature’s mistake, and sex reassignment is legal and accessible. As a man, Sahar could be the one to marry Nasrin. Sahar will never be able to love the one she wants, in the body she wants to be loved in, without risking her life. Is saving her love worth sacrificing her true self?

The drama of being in a gay relationship has never been scarier than set in a country where it is not only illegal, but punishable by death. Overall, it was a bit of a weird, but refreshingly original, subject matter. I liked the drama, the background stories, even the setting of Iran as it gave some new insights into their culture. But their love story seemed forced. I'll get to that later.

Set in a country I know next to nothing about, about forbidden love and brave, life-altering choices, I fell into this world easily. But I did have my nitpicks about it, which was annoying. I know I should have loved this and many parts I did. I instantly felt for Sahar, feeling trapped in a society where she can't be herself, so insecure but so sure of her love for Nasrin. I can admire that. But Nasrin was spoilt, a drama-queen, and occasionally manipulative at the expense of Sahar. 

Because they were already "in love", I didn't get their progressive love story and I missed that. Also, we were supposed to believe that they were in love and had been for years but I got the impression that Nasrin didn't really love Sahar, just liked the attention. Having said that, I think it was incredibly brave of Sahar to even consider changing sex for Nasrin, although I was waiting for it to fall through because, let's face it, Sahar didn't seem to think it through properly. Especially as she didn't discuss it with Nasrin and she just shoved it back in her face. I really didn't want Sahar to make such a huge sacrifice for someone who didn't appear to appreciate it. 

Although I didn't quite believe the love story, I liked just about everything else about this: the reality of an oppressive state and what dangers that entails when you're different; the Persian words and phrases slipped effortlessly into the narrative; the underbelly of transsexualism and even what it means to be a woman in such a strict country. It was thought-provoking and a very brave story.  

Published 20th August 2013 by Algonquin Young Readers. Thank you to the publisher and Netgally for my copy in exchange for an honest review. 

Ink by Amanda Sun

Katie Greene is lost in the wake of her mum's death. Sent to Japan, she meets gorgeous but aloof artist Tomohiro, whose tough attitude intrigues and scares her. Then things get really strange. When they're near each other, Tomohiro's drawings start to come to life…

Soon the wrong people begin to ask questions, and Katie and Tomohiro must risk everything to protect the truth.

First off, I have to start with the excellent description of Japanese culture. The story dived right in so I was left a little confused as I have next to no experience with Japanese culture, but it was full of gorgeous descriptions and odd pieces of language that it was still enjoyable. 

The story follows Katie as she struggles to fit in at a new school in a new country and as she becomes intrigued by strange boy Tomohiro. But more on him later. I really felt for Katie. Bad enough that she was half way across the world, away from home in a strange country, but having just lost her mum, she was lost and sad and could only wander along and try to cope. I really liked her perspective as we learnt about Japan and its mythology as she did. This did mean the mystery behind Tomohiro wasn't solved for ages and I feel it was strung along for a bit too long and it wasn't quite worth the wait because I already guessed that his drawings came to life, I just wanted to know how!

Yes, Tomohiro. He was one of those bad guys with a heart of gold. He had an image to protect himself and only Katie managed to see the real him. I liked them together and although it wasn't insta-love, Katie's fascination with him felt a little weird straight away, almost stalker-ish. Sorry Katie but you were! Anyway, there was another guy, Jun, who I didn't realise was going to be important when we first met him, but was a nice distraction for Katie in a 'oh, there's a kind boy talking to me even when most avoid me because I'm foreign' sort of way. I didn't believe the love triangle that was portrayed but I liked Jun as a character fair enough. Plus, I really liked the twist with his role in the story. 

Now don't believe I didn't enjoy the book. The language barrier and the Japanese name thing confused me quite a lot which left me disconnected from the story. But the writing was great, dialogue was easy to follow, the illustrations were amazing and even if I didn't quite connect with the characters or get all the answers I wanted, it was a really good story line with a great balance of contemporary and mythology. 

Published 5th July by Mira Ink. Thank you to the publisher for my copy.

Beloved by Toni Morrison

Publisher: Vintage Books
Published: 1st October 2008
Pages: 324
Synopsis:
Sethe was born a slave and escaped to Ohio, but eighteen years later she is still not free. She has borne the unthinkable and not gone mad, yet she is still held captive by memories of Sweet Home, the beautiful farm where so many hideous things happened. Meanwhile Sethe's house has long been troubled by the angry, destructive ghost of her baby, who died nameless and whose tombstone is engraved with a single word: "Beloved." 
Sethe works at beating back the past, but it makes itself heard and felt incessantly in her memory and in the lives of those around her. When a mysterious teenage girl arrives, calling herself Beloved, Sethe's terrible secret explodes into the present. 

Review:
I have mixed feelings about this book. It took me ages to get into and honestly, I don't think I ever really wanted to read it - uni book, you see. And yet it was strangely addictive: the whole first half you have no idea what horrible thing Sethe could have done and why a baby is haunting their house. The horror I felt when I found out what Sethe had done is indescribable. I physically felt sick. And yet, in a weird kind of way I can understand her passion for wanting her children safe. Even if her methods are disturbing to say the least.

There was an odd narrative to the story as Morrison moves swiftly between past and present, letting the reader fit the pieces together themselves, which you don't until nearly half way through. Quick tip, I mostly only knew when it was in the timeline if Baby Suggs was alive! The setting is also pretty incredible: the black mostly-post-slavery community is close knit and you really feel for the family when they run away. Plus the women in this story are very impressive, even if the mother/daughter relationship is a bit whacked.

I've spent many hours in university deciphering the meaning to Beloved and have got very few answers. We discussed memory, colour and identity; I'll leave it up to you, if you've read it. As for Beloved, the strange teenager, we discussed whether she was real, a figment of imagination, even a spirit possessing a body, but came to the conclusion Morrison just wants to keep us guessing.

A very odd read but worth it for the tough subject matter and the subtle ghost story.

This counted towards my genre variety challenge.