Shit I Liked: Team Cereal...

Granted, there weren't any dried marshmallows or plastic toys in the box, but as far as bland flake cereals went, this one was one of the best. I can remember many happy mornings polishing off a bowl of Team (without milk, mind you) and then digging the masticated cereal clods out of my teeth with my fingernail, admiring them for a second, and then putting them back in my mouth for further digestion.

An Intervention...

Dude, we all care about you. That's why we're here.

For the longest time, I pretended like you didn't have a problem. I didn't want to admit to myself that you're not the same cuckoo-bird I used to know. It seems like the only thing you care about now is where you're gonna get your next fix.

And it hurts, man, it really hurts.

It kills me to sit back and watch you throw your life away. I've seen you go through twelve boxes of this shit in an afternoon. I've fucking SEEN you go through this shit so fast you swallow the prize at the bottom without even noticing!

When there's Cocoa Puffs around, you change into this...this monster! Your eyes get all bugged-out. You ignore your wife. You ignore your kids. You're sick. You're addicted to this garbage and you need help. And we want you to get help. We want you to know we're here for you. I'm serious, Sonny. We know you can kick this thing. We love you, man.