Love Is...

A Blast From The Past...

For those of you who weren't around for my
comic strip series, click HERE.

For Bubs...

What is wrong with me?

For Randy...

For those of you new to this blog, I assure you this is just a phase. If you want to read some of my non-comic strip related posts, go back a week or two.

For Vikki...

Glossary
Swedish Meatballs=Gonads

Somebody Stop Me!...

It's best to just let me get it out of my system.

For My Own Amusement...

Finally, Sarge sounds like an actual sargeant.

Bizarro Family Circus...

Comic Dissection: Fred Bassett...

Fred Bassett is like a humor black hole. Its anti-humor is so powerful, in fact, that any comic strip adjacent to it on the funnies page becomes less funny as a result of its close proximity.

I'm not even sure where to begin with this one. As you can see, In the first two panels, someone's voice is alerting Fred that it's time for dinner. The final frame has Fred bounding towards the voice. We learn that hearing that it's dinnertime is "Music to his ears". My question for the author is:

So fucking what!?

Is that funny? Hell, is that even mildly interesting? I'd argue that it's not. I mean, if the final frame went something like this...

...it's still not especially funny, but at least it's on the right track.

Comic Dissection: Hi & Lois...

Hi & Lois probably holds the title for the comic strip most likely to be reprinted in a church bulletin. This is not because it is especially religious, but because it's so damn saccharine that clergy people know that not even the most strident church-lady would ever be offended by it. Thanks to a little digging, though, I think I found one that might come close.

In the first frame we find mom Lois (looking fucking FLY in that tight shirt) and dad Hi (looking like a sack of flour) reminiscing about son Chip and his stubbornness when it came to bath time when he was young. In the next frame, Lois, looking dejected, informs Hi that Chip has done a complete 180 and is now into taking lengthy, record-breaking showers. You can tell by the look on Hi's face that he knows the score. He was a teenage boy himself once. He remembers when he started noticing hair growing where, before, there was none. He remembers the cracking voice and waking up in a puddle of his own ejaculate. You see, if Lois would just turn around and look, she'd understand why Chip's showers have gotten longer. Shit, just look at the smile on his face. Check out the excessive suds around his crotch. You'd have to be blind not to see what's going on! Wake up, Lois, for god's sake! Your son's jerkin' it!

Bonus fact: Did you know that Chip went on to join the army and eventually changed his name to Beetle Bailey? True story.

Comic Dissection: Broom Hilda...

Broom Hilda is the spiritual leader of the modern Wiccan movement. Through her tireless efforts, it is now one of the fastest growing religions today. In light of her accomplishments, I've decided to spend some time studying one of her strips.

In the first panel we are made aware of a medical report. This usually signals that there is serious news awaiting us. Turns out, Irwin, a sort of "Captain Caveman"-like creature, but without the club, has been diagnosed as being bipolar. The natural reaction by most people would be shock and concern. Bipolar disorder is characterized by dramatic moodswings, from extremely happy to extremely angry or depressed. You can see from the look in Broom Hilda's eyes, she's at a loss. Just as we are about to start fearing the worst for poor Irwin, Gaylord informs us that his bipolarity only ranges between happy and happier. Now, I would contend that this is not what most people would consider bipolar disorder. However, I am not a clinical psychologist and will defer to those more qualified than I. If it turns out that I was right, I will expect a thorough apology from the people at Broom Hilda for making me worry needlessly.

Comic Dissection: Cathy...

Everything I know about women I learned from reading "Cathy". Actually, that's a lie. I never read "Cathy". You know why? Because it's shit and she doesn't have a nose.

I chose this strip for today's discussion because of its mention of internet issues. The first three panels are pure set-up. Some dude is explaining the concept of "cookies" to a brain-addled Cathy and how they are used to gain valuable information about internet users. Cathy, in a dizzying display of ineptitude, fails to comprehend that the "cookies" being described are not the actual edible cookies she is apparently so fond of. Exasperated, she wails that her other dietary vices have already revealed enough about her. Although it is only alluded to, my guess is that Cathy feels that these things (chocolate, cake, and ice cream) have revealed that she has a weight problem. The truth is, what's really revealed is that Cathy is ignorant and insecure.

More Comic Strip Explanation...

I like it when people have recurring features on their blogs. I've tried a few (remember my short-lived interview series?), but I end up forgetting about them. I really enjoyed posting about Bazooka Joe and thought I'd tackle another thought-provoking comic, "Snuffy Smith".

Unfortunately, Snuffy himself is not present in this particular installment, but his presence is felt nonetheless. It starts out nice enough. Elviney drops by to give Loweezy a new peach recipe. Imagine Loweezy's consternation as she laments the thought of planting yet ANOTHER peach tree. You see, Paw (Snuffy, in this case), is under the assumption that you need to grow different peach trees for different dishes made from peaches, and has labeled them as such. The implication is that Snuffy is a hillbilly and, thus, quite dumb.

Bazooka Joe - 1, William Shakespeare- 0...

I noticed things getting a little heavy on this blog lately. Rather than post about puppies with cancer like I had originally planned, I decided to turn to a sure-fire source of laughs - my buddy Bazooka Joe. Check out how Joe twists Ol' Willie's words around for a zing of epic proportions. You can tell by the expression on his face in the final frame that Mr. Shakespeare KNOWS Joe got him but good. Bravo, Joe! Well played, as usual.