"Oh My God! Look At The Time!

I still haven't seen the Oscar winning motion picture "One Battle After Another." Why? Because it is two hours and forty two minutes long, which is about 50 minutes longer than I now want a film to be. This coming from a guy who has watched both "Godfather" films back to back, two times a year for as long as I can remember. Each of those back to back viewings equal six hours and twenty minutes, by the way.

When I first started writing in any serious way, I wanted to be a screenwriter. My roommate at the time, as well as two of my closest friends, already had three or four screenplays under their belts. I had one, my first feature after three one act plays, and it was both hilarious and cringemakingly horrible. The four of us would see five or six movies a week. It wasn't odd to see two in one day. We saw it as research. In 1988, I saw four films in one day, three times! 

Back in the day, if someone asked, "Any interest in seeing (insert film here)?" My immediate answer was "Yes." Didn't matter what it was. Our goal was to see everything, which is how I ended up in an empty theater with just my roommate watching the 1986 Hal Needham movie "Rad." It was one of the only films left that we hadn't seen. Now, if someone asks if I have an interest in seeing a film, my question is always, "How long is it?"

I've recently been editing down classic double albums to more manageable 40 minute playtimes. I'm trimming "The White Album" and "Quadrophenia" as if cutting fat off of chicken cutlets. 

Our friend Cleveland Jeff wrote a rave review of the new Cal Everett record over at his place "...Like Dancing About Architecture," and this paragraph stood out.

"The artist suggests listening to the record as a whole, and I did that the first couple of times, and that works. But that takes an hour. Without the little interludes and maybe four of the songs, it would be a perfect 45 minute record, and that's a big deal. Perfect is a high bar."

 

What exactly are we doing with those extra 15 minutes?

 

If the goal was to create a more perfect album, then I guess one man's fat is another's meat. But I think it's more than that.

 

Back in 2019, I wrote one of my favorite posts, thinking I was onto something, hoping it would open the eyes and ears of many. It received a measly five comments. The idea was simple. 

 

Long songs seem to be a turn off, especially when they are long prog rock songs, like the Genesis masterpiece "Supper's Ready," which clocks in at 23 minutes. But seven 3 minute songs, and for some reason, we've got a deal.

 

But guess what? "Supper's Ready," the legendary sidelong epic from Genesis IS seven 3 minute songs and they are mostly all terrific. There are seven different titles and if you have the vinyl, you can easily see the bands that separate each of the parts. But the jacket says, "Supper's Ready- 23:06," and that's the dealbreaker. The jacket also says "Genesis," so that may be the dealbreaker for some, as well

(There, I made the joke for you.)

The opening, "Lover's Leap," runs a bit under 4 minutes, and it is a lovely piece of British folk/pop, that would not sound out of place on a Cat Stevens or Sandy Denny record." "Willow Farm" isn't so far removed from British psychedelia, or for that matter, something The Beatles might have attempted on "Magical Mystery Tour." And "Apocalypse In 9/8" is quite frankly, some of the best drumming you will ever hear, courtesy of the World's Punching Bag, the amazing Phil Collins.

So, what is it exactly?

 

I realize that time becomes more precious the older we get, and maybe we have better, more appealing things to accomplish than binge-listening to the entire catalogue of one artist. But the aversion to length when it comes to music seems extreme. I like the instrumental title track from "Quadrophenia" just fine, yet I cut it on my edit. There ya go! Six more minutes in my life to do...what? 

 

I am very guilty here. I am not pointing fingers.

 

When it comes to film, you can't just snip out awkward or uncomfortable scenes. There are no "The Very Best Of Mutiny On The Bounty" DVDs for the impatient out there, or at least I hope not.

 

Records don't have plots or stories, unless you listen to concept records exclusively. When I first saw "The Deer Hunter," the wedding scene made ME want to play Russian roulette. It felt like an entire movie I didn't sign up for within a movie I paid to see. I was also 50 years younger. Now, I couldn't imagine that brilliant wedding not being in the film. But trimming down a 60 minute record to 45 minutes, or in my case, feeling so daunted by double albums, and movies over 2 hours, that I skip completely what could be brilliant art, is a habit I need to break. 

 

Why does music need to be said in 2:54, ten times?

What is so wrong with saying something in 7:21, five times?