One (or five) for the Road

 Last Saturday took us to Upton to take on Wollaton 4ths at Upton's beautiful ground. 

Now we are are very young team, 8 of us under 15 years old, with only the presence of myself, the Captain and a senior bat taking our average age above 13, as it seemed to me. We thought our opposition would be the same, but no, they turned out to be a bunch of very adult big biffers, albeit very nice big biffers. 

Knowing that if we batted first the game would be over in about half an hour, we agreed that Wollaton should bat first, and to be fair, our young bowlers made a good fist of things early on, on a blisteringly hot day where the most important fielding positions were those in the shade under the trees. It was so hot, even I ditched my usual Mr Miyagi headband for a cap as I patrolled my usual areas. 

To be fair to myself, I'm an ok ground fielder, just utterly hopeless at catching. Being reasonably fit, I also let the young ones field under the trees. 

We were doing ok until the last 10 overs, where a Wollaton big unit came out and decided to go big. Against our junior seam bowlers, he was reasonably contained, if you can call 10 an over contained. Against my off-spin, however, it was a different matter. 

I'd done no worse than anyone else until my last over. When this happened. 

Ball 1 - slightly too straight. Hit for 6, landed in a helmet in front of the pavilion. 

Ball 2 - On off stump. Fetched from out there and hit onto the road over the hedge at cow corner. Ball lost. 

Ball 3 - nearly bowled him through the gate. 

Ball 4 - went for 4 at cow corner. 

Ball 5 - Went wider in my approach. Hit straight back over my head for 6 into a haystack. Ball lost. 

Ball 6 - See above. 

Four overs for 61. I'm glad that before this game I decided to stop caring too much what happened to me. They ended up on 271 for 2. 

With no chance in a hail of hells of winning the game, we went out to bat and made a decent start. But with so many young kids against adult bowlers, we were always going to struggle. Muggins here did mange to hit a four to get us a batting point, before getting bowled attempting to hit a spinner to Nottingham.

So, a heavy defeat, but I actually enjoyed the game, and our young players should be given huge credit for the shifts they put in. They made it fun. 

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 04.07.25 

Freezing in Upton

 Sunday took us to play Upton, our traditional friendly game season opener, and the fact that we were playing a great bunch of guys with a tea in the offing, was rather off-set by the fact that it "a bit chilly".

I lie. It was freezing, freezing cold. Upton's ground is high upon a Trent Valley plateau, and the wind swept in from the Arctic North over the ground. No chance of a buzzard or red kite flyover today. Or even getting in the ground, as Upton's keyholder was a bit late so cars were hogging the narrow lane the ground lies beside. 

Facing a strong Upton side with a keen, but very young, team of our own - it was me keeping the average age above 18 - it was agreed that Upton should bat first in a 35 over game. 

They did very well, but so did we. All five of our young players, two of them being young ladies making their debuts in senior hard ball cricket, did a fantastic job with bat and ball. They took wickets, kept things tight, and batted really well. 

It was myself that let the side down, bruised tailbone rendering me virtually immobile in the field, not helped by some kind of panic attack that made me lose my nerve and not want to field the ball I couldn't bend over to field anyway. I had to resort to fielding with my feet, resulting in some painful whacks on the ankle. 

My bowling suffered from being at two very good bats, both of whom wiped me to the boundary whenever I dropped a fraction short, which was ineptly too often. 

When we batted - we had no chance of winning but were out to acquit ourselves well - I found myself umpiring for twenty overs in the bitter cold, but at least got a chance to watch our youngsters bat really well in close up. Far better than I could, I got out first ball while falling over to a leg stump yorker. 

I wanted to put a bag over my head, and plugs in my ears to drown out the endless mickey taking by my older team-mates. 

I felt like I never wanted to play cricket again until tonight, when I had an ok net bowling. The feeling that there might be a golden day one day comes back. Ha ha. 

Luckily, these young players we have will have plenty of golden days. 

Si 

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 08.05.25

Unexpected Heroics

 With a lot of players missing for Saturday's game at Upton against Thrumpton 2s, a big decision was to be made.

Who could captain the third team?

Who had the skill, fire, fight and tactical nous to take on the second in the league with a very young team, and get a result?

Er, that would be me. 

Having won the toss against the Thrumpton captain, who bore a resemblance to Dwalin from "The Rings of Power" I put Thrumpton into bat, knowing that bowling first offered our best chance to get as many points out of the game as possible.

Things did not start well against the powerful Thrumpton openers, with our young opening bowlers a little wayward, and they were scoring runs for fun as they have been doing all season. I was a bit at a loss, felt slightly out of control of things in the field, and kept forgetting everyone's names. 

Luckily, I soon settled down, and so did our next pair of bowlers, a very young seamer who has been taking a lot of wickets at junior level, and a guest player from Farndon who bowled some excellent leg spin, and they took three wickets between them. Add to this that there was some superb fielding going on resulting in a few runouts, and we were going well. 

"Everyone is doing fantastic" I would exhort ungrammatically. "Let's bowl them out!"

I even got a wicket myselfm caught at mid on. I actually bowled better than I thought, with figures of 1-23 despite getting a bit of tap from a big lower order hitter who got 41. 

We bowled them out for 160, which I'd take any day of the week. Maximum bowling points obtained. 

I did not anticipate us getting anywhere near, and so sent the opening bats out, one of whom was the guest leg spinner, with an initial target of 90 to get the first batting point. I had to go and umpire, of course. 

From that vantage point I had a great view of our opening bats make a good start against bowling that was a bit less rapid than in our previous game against Thrumpton. A rather massive 6 was hit, and there was a bit of over-excited chirp on the boundary concerning a bit of fielding where one of the Thrumpton chaps trod on the rope while picking the ball up. 

Dwalin the Thrumpton captain told me to get our players to cool it, so I did. 

Sadly we lost one of our openers with the score on about 50, and now things were going to be rather tricky as we had a section of young players in our batting order, so there was a bit of procession at one end.

Meanwhile, the leg spinner, 13 years old, was still out there, and joined by our experienced wicketkeeper began to score runs at a cracking pace. To see such match awareness in a 13 year old was totally new to me. When the keeper was out after having played really well in a supporting roll, he began to farm the strike with another batch of youngsters, while slamming the odd boundary.

Alas he then got a ball that stopped and bounced, and that was it. Game Set and Match.Out for 78.  But we had put up a tremendous fight in a game we had no right to even compete in, and I was very proud of my young side. 

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 27.07.24

Red Kites at Ropsley

 An unusual game on Sunday, as it was for Upton rather than Newark. No-one was interested in playing for us, so our game was cancelled and the third team captain and myself were able to snare a game with the good burghers of Upton, a club which we call our second home this year after the flooding. 

The last two games I had played in, including a horrible defeat to Keyworth the day before, had been so horrendous that I couldn't bear to write about them. I didn't bowl, and I can't remember the last time I hit the ball with my bat. 

Having toyed with the idea of forgetting cricket and moving to a Tibetan monastery, I did turn out for this game over in the very pretty village of Ropsley, the other side of Grantham. My sister and I were delighted to see it was red kite country, and before and during the game a couple of these magnificent raptors flew low over the ground. .

The Ropsley Baboons, for t'was their name, were rather less majestic as it turned out. Like the Upton lads a very nice bunch of chaps, they found dealing with our bowling very tricky, aided by a similarly tricky wicket. Our early bowlers, a couple of whom turn out for us on a Saturday, soon started cutting through the top order, followed up by the third team captain who took two wickets before being taken off for being too good. 

I even got a bowl myself, castling one of their younger bats second  ball, before bowling a gentle spell of tight control against rather more "mature" batters. Even let my old quicker ball go, and it was even straight. 

Sadly, it was my partner at the other end who grabbed the last couple of wickets, so I ended up with four overs 1 for 2. 

It was then time for me not to worry about batting, as we coasted to victory, overhauling Ropsley's 55 all out in about 16 overs before retiring to a lovely pub in the village for a few beers!

Made me feel good about playing cricket again, which will probably last until I play Keyworth again on Saturday. 

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 12.07.24

Under a Collingham Cosh

 Saturday saw our third team playing at Upton once again, this time against Collingham's third team complete with the familiar figure of my stepfather's next door neighbour who it has taken me several years to get to play against.

Against expectation the weather was good, and the ground looked immaculate. I was thrilled to see not just one red kite, but a pair, who appeared before the game and graced us with their presence at various times throughout the afternoon.

"Can you eat them?" asked our resident geographer, unimpressed. 

There were kestrels and loudly keening buzzards around too, although the question of their culinary status never arose. I'm glad other players did turn out to share my interest in nature. Well, one did, anyway.

As is customary it seems, we bowled first in a 36 over game, and Collingham's senior bats, one of whom was the first profoundly deaf player I have played in a match with, made a fast start and it took a while for our captain and the Keele captain to find their rhythm and start taking a few wickets, at which point we dragged ourselves back into the game. Our young opening bowler, after having been clattered a bit in his opening spell, came back well later to take three wickets.

The captain noted "If I don't give you a bowl you will be moaning about me in your blog", so I did get three overs at the end. It went ok-ish, as I tried to bowl of a straight approach to avoid dragging the ball down, but for some reason I bowled my first no ball in ages and so a catch off me didn't count. One bad ball got flogged for four by a young bat, who in truth we hadn't bowled well at, and Collingham closed on 159-9. 

We had a bit of a makeshift side, so that looked probably a few too many forus to get, and it quickly became clear that Collingham's bowlers were going to be far more accurate than us on a wicket where it was hard to score. We lost the geographer and his son early as the aforementioned next door neighbour nabbed a couple of wickets with his left hand medium pace loopy stuff. The other opener stood form, but scoring was very difficult, especially when a young speedster came on and ripped through our middle order.

The captain was the only bat who could really handle him, and he used the extra pace to show us some classical front foot driving, but alas he couldn't stay in.

Back in my usual number 11 spot, or rather 10 as we only had 10 players, I went in with the game well and truly gone, nervous as hell after four consecutive ducks - they should call me Audi, like they did Alan Mullaly back in the day - but reasured by the Upton captain, who just told me to relax and do what I could.

I managed to score one run, but that was it, as my partner was out shortly after. 

All in all, a pretty heavy thrashing, but it was a really enjoyable game and I didn't mind too much. I thought, stupidly, that Sunday would go better...

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 03.07.24

All flattering references to the captain are there to ensure he might let me bowl again one day

A Winning Start at Upton

 Finally, after terrible weather and cancelled games, the Sunday season, and thus my season, got underway with what always used to be our traditional curtain raiser against our very good friends from Upton cricket club, on their beautiful small ground up on the hill from the village.

It was a lovely sunny day, to the extent that horrible milk bottle legs could be revealed to the world. 

Arriving early in order to make our new young players welcome, I had time to explore the ground, and the beautiful orchard behind it into which many a ball has been hit. The apple trees are in full blossom, and the bees from the hives at one end were getting busy. 

I didn't make the mistake of going to have a closer look at the hives, as I got chased off by an angry bee when I tried that before. 

Upton batted first, as we thought we were a bit light on batting and wanted to make a day of it. As it turned out, Upton struggled on a tricky slow wicket, and although the boundaries were short, the outfield was slow so runs were hard to come by, especially as our bowling was so good. Events started slowly, but when we brought two of our debutants, one a talented youngster, another a guy who had been talked into coming back to cricket by the chairman but hadn't got round to getting some spikes yet so was bowling in Sketchers.

Within about twenty minutes, they had taken five wickets between them, the young lad taking a stinging catch as well as taking their first senior wickets ever. 

Time for a tactical bowling change. Surely bringing myself on would even the game up a bit, as I fully expected to get hit into the nearby fields a few times. 

Well, as it turned out, that only happened once. I bowled well enough, although my two wickets were as usual taken with my worst two deliveries, and the field I had set myself after observations made at net practice, turned out to be completely wrong. I bowled a little two short at times, but I did get a bit of turn and beat the batters a few times. 

Meanwhile, at the other end, another young debutant was proving to be impossible to hit.

The decision was then "taken by myself" and not at all by the chairman who was acting as a usurper skipper on the grounds of my tactical incompetence, to end the nonsense by bringing on the proper off spinner, who promptly wiped out the tail enders to bowl out Upton for 89.

Talking over an excellent tea, we thought this would be no easy chase in these conditions, and indeed the chairman, reluctantly opening the batting, was wiped out first ball, and other wickets fell rapidly until we were 17 for 6. Luckily, the second team captain and also our esteemed groundsman, and our senior resident geographer on two hour sleep, combined to see us home with a brilliant partnership of 70 odd, one with big hitting - poor old tree at one end took a fearful thwack, and stern defence from the other. 

Good job, as the batters waiting to go in, myself included, did not feel terribly confident of making any runs at all. 

In all a lovely day, capped with a pub visit, which went on all night for some!

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 06.05.24

The Moonlighting Golden Ducker

 I wrote yesterday that I had gone from finding myself with no cricket this weekend, to having two games as of Saturday morning, and today's Sunday game was the second, but with a twist.

I was guesting for our friends of long standing at Upton Cricket Club, whom we have regular matches with and have players who regularly turn out for both sides. I became the latest NRM player to go and help them out, although I winced who the opposition were.

It was Bothamstall Exiles, a friendly team who take their friendly cricket very very seriously, to the extent that last year they brought several Retford first team players from the Bassetlaw Saturday first division, who play at a way higher standard than us, including a Barbadian overseas player who wiped us out with his bowling. 

And yes, they did it again today, with several more Retford players, including their new Barbadian overseas pro who I have seen on youtube bowling like lightning and hitting the ball very hard indeed. This guy, whose name was Demel, was himself a nice chap, but at our level I thought his bowling was likely to cause hospitalisation. His batting too probably.

Luckily, common sense prevailed, and apparently he doesn't bowl in friendlies. So at least I thought I would get through the day without ending up in intensive care. 

We batted first, and being ultra helpful for my new team, I volunteered to open the umpiring. They knew who I was of course - "Oh, you are the left handed guy in the headband, that's good because we are short of bowling today."

Like the presence of me changes that, but I digress. 

So umpiring, and I quickly found out that we seemed to be playing a team of animals, with "Fish", "Rhino" and "Shark" all playing.  Indeed Shark opened the bowling, but as he turned out to be a 13 year old boy in spectacles, he was hardly a great white. The chat was a rich mixture of harsh North Notts accents mixed in with Demel's Barbadian patois. God knows how he was finding the late May weather, which consisted of freezing winds mixed in with the odd blustery shower.

Meanwhile, our openers made a good if steady start against this "Shark", alongside another Retford first team bowler, until the shark finally bit and bowled one of them. Demel then showed why he's a pro by taking a simply astonishing catch, the best I've ever seen in person, flying high off the ground to take a big hit one handed and behind him like Ben Stokes. 

I decided at that point that when I was batting, I wasn't going to take a single to him. Even if he was fielding on the boundary. Or in Nottingham. 

The wicket was a little tricky too, and our progress was hindered by regular wickets falling just as players got into their stride. Having been informed by our captain that I was batting at 8 today - jeez me batting at 7 and 8 in a weekend, the captains of the world have gone mad - I padded up, as usual nearly broke my neck sliding about on spikes on the shiny floors in the pavilion, and walked out to wait to bat. Which was about two minutes later.

"You're here because you got ten not out last time you played us, just stay forward, you'll be fine" advised my batting partner.

He then watched while I got forward to my first ball, which yorked me and took my leg stump out of the ground. Upton were really getting value for money from their new player. 

At least it got me out of the rain which then lashed down for twenty minutes while the players carried on to get the innings over with, leaving them with saturated jumpers with the sleeves now reaching down to their knees. 

After a welcome tea with some very nice hot quiche, it was time to bowl as we sought to defend 121-9 off 40 overs. I opened up today, and despite the rain leaving a tacky ball - cricket ball that is - which stuck to my fingers and had me bowling the wretched thing straight under my nose for my first couple of deliveries, but I soon got the hand of things and bowled accurately - NO WIDES AGAIN! - and nipped the ball off the seam although the wicket was too slow to cause the batters, mainly a shaven headed chap with a purple beard, much trouble although they couldn't get me away. 

Until my 24th and what turned out to be last ball, to which the other opening bat who is Retford 1s all rounder, walked down the track and smacked me into the orchard on the other side of the hedge for the green woodpecker I had seen in there earlier to try and catch. 

Skipper binned me off after that. 4 overs 1 maiden 0 for 9 is still my best return of the season. Which isn't saying much.

However, the big hitting all rounder was soon taken care of by our spinner, but only after he had hit another one over a different hedge, and another straight through me as I dived like a crippled ice skater to try and stop another one.

This then brought Demel to the crease, and expectations of total destruction were actually soon put away. Sure, he did hit the ball very very hard - one shot went within ten yards of me but I barely had tine to move - but our bowlers largely kept him and the other Bothamstall batters quiet, and really made them work hard to get even this modest total. The young lad from Upton was particularly impressive in this regard, and eventually he got a little bored and attempted a massive across the line slog at our captain and was bowled. 

However, they had more than enough batting to see them home, despite some insane running between the wickets, and they duly won by seven wickets in the 32nd over with an another 6 over a tree. 

Still I had a great afternoon's moonlighting and really enjoyed myself. 

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 29.05.22

The Ball Never Came to Me but Bees did

 Cricket returned to my life today, as we headed out to Upton to take on our old friends from that club. It's a lovely little ground, which seems to have shrunk since I last played there with one of the boundaries only about 40 metres out. 

Being a generally young side, apart from my old ankle crippled self, we were a bit light in batting, so agreed to let Upton have first use of a very hard, but as it turned out, low bouncing wicket with a quick outfield. Seeing as we were going to have our first cricket tea in three years, this was a good tactical decision from the captain in my view, as it allows you to eat more at tea-time without having to run about afterwards. 

Having turned down the chance to open the bowling due to being no good anymore, I went to field at mid-off while the opening bats of Upton spanked the ball around with ease, including a very impressive young player who timed the ball as sweet as any nut. 

Much searching in hedges for the ball took place during this period. But not by me. Upton have a pro ball hunter in their ranks so we let him doing it, which meant we only lost one ball instead of the 8 or 9 we normally lose here. 

Upton rattled up abut 100 in the first ten overs, at which point our captain decided to scare them by bringing me on to bowl. Having netted well over the winter, I was under the impression that I had got a little of my old pace back - fat chance. I felt lumbering and slow, with no bounce. At least I was quite straight for a change, bowling no wides for once, and I did slow up the scoring somewhat, although I was still getting belted for four once an over. 

I even got the opening bat caught at mid on. But that was the only wicket I took. At least I didn't have to bowl to Upton's gun batter though, who seemed to have a bat so heavy that mis-hits went for six. 

All through this I fielded with great energy, even though somehow the ball only came to me once despite me fielding at mid on most of the time. Good work by the captain to do that. My ankle was hurting after bowling seven overs, so I was pretty grateful. 

Upton racked up 238-5 in the end, and knowing I wouldn't be needed to bat for a while and hopefully (from the teams point of view) not at all, so I went off exploring. 

Over the hedge at one end of the ground was an orchard full of trees still in blossom, and also some grazing and rather shy sheep. There was also a set of bee hives, that were very busy and buzzy. Unfortunately one bee took exception to me and chased me off, getting tangled up in my hair. I didn't get stung though, unlike one of the Upton lads. 

Probably the bee that I had pissed off. 

While I annoyed insects, our young opening bats were playing brilliantly, putting on over 120 in very quick time with the sheep in the next field being peppered by sixes. We even looked like we had a chance of winning, but when these two lads got out, the rest of our batting could only muster about another 60 runs between them, mainly due to the Upton fast bowler being brought on. Normally this chap takes two balls to get me out, this time I survived three, although the last one was  a near thing. 

I actually managed to score ten not out, which is 7 more runs than I scored in the whole of last season. This included a boundary, and also a run out of my batting partner when I turned him down for a second run. To be fair, it was never two. 

That's my opinion, and I'm standing by it!

So, we lost by about 60 runs in the end, but it was tremendously fun day we all enjoyed. Hopefully it's the first of many such Sundays this year.

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 24.04.22

Freezing to Victory

 Another friendly game today, this time against our old friends from Upton, who we have a long association with and indeed have several players who have turned out for our club - the vice versa also applies. 

The normal captain was away on baseball duties, although he did turn up to watch us later on while eating pizza, so we played under a new captain who is the committee member who has done a fantastic job of getting a full programme of Sunday fixtures for us this season since we dropped out of the Sunday league. Luckily he wasn't mad at me for being a few minutes late as I had some personal stuff to attend to in a hurry. 

He even let me have my choice of bowling ends, which meant yay! No more wind in my face!

It was a high scoring fixture, played on a very slow wicket with an outfield the size of Botswana and in temperatures the exact opposite. It was freezing out there in the wind, especially later on when the sun was setting. My hands were purple. 

I actually bowled a bit better than yesterday, if a little too short at times, and proved to be hard to hit on the low wicket, which I was pleased about as I was mainly bowling to a guy who went on to make a fine century and I'm sure was expecting to be able to hit me into the middle of next week. I didn't take any wickets, but our new players for the fixture bowled very well and did indeed take a few wickets. It helped we got their other dangerous batsman out for not very many.

That being said, they still racked up 219 for 5 at over 5 an over, which as I said to the captain was odd as no-one had bowled badly. Shows how good the century was I suppose. 

Normally this would be far too many for us, but we had a rather stronger team than we normally do for this fixture, including our returning Division A batsman who we all felt was the key to winning the match. 

Rightly, as it turned out.

We made a solid, steady start but found oursevles in a spot of a pickle at 50 or so for 2. Mr Div A, and another player returning to play regularly and was also in fine for, started slowly, but soon began to take the bowling apart although to score a 6 on that ground you'd need to load the ball into a howitzer. I had the pleasure of umpiring for a large chunk of their partnership of around 150, although the pleasure was slightly offset by the feeling that I was umpiring in a chest freezer. 

The star bat retired after he made his way to the century, and with about 20 to go the match was won. A very fine victory to chase down 219.

Augurs well for our new Sunday incarnation.

Si

All text and images copyright CreamCrackeredNature 25.04.21