Sunday Afternoon Muscle Movie Time...MACISTE!!

"I have a strange destiny. I seem to always be searching for new adventures, new dangers."  --Maciste

Sinewy Selections 3 - A Brawny Batch

Another week of hulking men, lumbering monsters and groovy gladiators...some great finds this time around thanks to the Warriors box set and the two Image released packages of Retromedia discs, WAR GODS and HERCULES COLLECTION.

Ursus in the Land of Fire features Ed Fury (in his best performance I'm aware of) as a simple man that ends up being the fall guy for an evil general and the wicked niece of a kindly king that wants to promote peace between the military and the shepherds of the area. They put him through tests of strength, including a great bit of pushing a mammoth grinding stone that shows off how jacked up Ed Fury was-and he even gets to do the classic "torn between two chariots" business, but with a twist. I love that particular test, even though it is probably over used, but this time the good daughter/love interest has the distinct displeasure of being tied between the two chariots Ursus is straining against. As many times as you can see a sequence repeated, this was a standout. Also watch for a great tournament battle with an undercover Ursus calling out the bad guy, this very well done.
I did not mention story because it is Mighty Standardly if you know what I mean, and the pace is sporadic-lots of good stuff, lots of talk...then more good stuff. The good outweighs the bad and chucks an uprooted tree at the viewer though, making this a recommended film.


Son of Hercules against Fire Monsters is a decent enough Maciste film (originally titled Maciste Against the Monsters) and features Reg Lewis as our temporally challenged hero. Lewis doesn't really impress me here, but he is game enough to pull a rubber tentacle and struggle with it mightily-so he gets the job done. This time Maciste goes Ice Age as he finds himself torn between the Sun and Moon tribes. Lucky for us, they dress in black and white so we know who is good and bad around here. Some big club battles and caveman fights keep the pace going-and better yet, there are monsters-including one groovy ghoulie that gets an eyeful of Maciste's spear. The real draw for me is the presence of Margaret Lee as Moah. She is beautiful, at the early part of her career and willing to be a hot cavegirl with no shame at all! Eurotrash fans may want to check in on this film just to catch her in action. Look for the scene with Maciste and Moah playing the rail to a game of horseshoes played with spears. YIKES! Not a classic, but nice primer for a heavy duty Peplum.


Son of Samson is one of, if not the, first "new" Maciste film, and has Mark Forest looking HUGE as our time and place hopping hero ends up in Egypt bumping headlong in to a scheming woman taking over for a Pharaoh that caught her selling her own people as slaves. What is cool about this film is that Chelo Alonso really steals the show, and is every bit as chiseled and deadly as the men in Peplum films are massive and mighty. We get some of that Amazing Alonso dancing and even a bit where she jumps in to a pit of Crocodiles. Also, for a film released in 1960 there are a few jaw dropping bits of violence and a brutal feel that had the edges dulled as the genre became more popular. When Maciste saves a group of slaves, he isn't entirely successful and leaves a bloody pile of workers crushed by falling debris. Not as light or breezy as expected, it isn't as fast paced as these films come, but satisfying and a nice entry in to the legend of Maciste!
The DVD has a good solid anamorphic print of this film, and it is particularly welcome thanks to it's age and place in the Maciste filmography, starting a revitalization of the character.

Gordon Scott shows off his badass side in this grim film that passes up any supernatural elements and instead has lots of intrigue and hand to (metal) hand battles. I love films that feature metal hands, and I loved Hero of Rome. I liked that this film is set in the early days of Rome and has the young republic battling against the Etruscans. Muzio (Scott) is obviously the tough guy of Rome and is ready to go assassinate the Etruscan king on his own-just wanting to get things done if you will. Well, it doesn't go well-and he finds that his target may not be the monster he imagined. Of course, he learns this AFTER committing the action depicted above. When threatened with torture, Muzio is so badass he tortures himself by burning his hand until his captors can't stand to watch.
WOW.
The Etruscan king is mislead by his crafty General, Tarquino (Massimo Serato who is perfectly MWAHHHharhar!) and even after Muzio and King Porsenna agree on a truce he manipulates the situation to cause the most trouble. And then the ass kickings really begin.
With good sets, a great cast, a groovy score by Angelo Francesco Lavignino and the sure hand of Girgio Ferroni (of Night of the Devils) directing, this is an excellent action film!


Medusa vs. The Son of Hercules is a jazzier title than Perseus The Invincible, but either way this Alberto de Martino film features one of the coolest monsters in Peplum history. Carlo Rambaldi provides a repugnant and ridiculous version of a Medusa-a rubbery cyclops that is just fun to look at and imagine someone running around in, with their legs tied together. But I really love the design, it takes something simple and makes it monstrous and far more obscene than the original idea-you can't argue that. However, the film starts and (almost) ends with this mythological element-and a water beast that lives nearby pops up as well, but by and large this Peplum is straight forward with intrigue and fisticuffs. Richard Harrison is great as Perseus, a hero that ends up dealing with a corrupt king and his even bigger skunk of a son. He is tough and brave, but never supernatural-which lets Harrison show off his acting skills as much as his muscles. Sure, he may have worn that Ninja headband for a few years, but I'm a BIG fan of the guy in Peplum movies (well, ninja flicks as well)-he just has something I enjoy. Look for an excellent tournament between Perseus and Galenore, there is an excellent scene with an archery contest gone horribly wrong.
If you want monsters, you do get some great ones bookending a fun Peplum that satisfies both in the one on one action as well as the grand battles.


The headliner for the nice Something Weird DVD that also includes the groovy Conqueror of Atlantis, Goliath and the Dragon is a perfectly entertaining Peplum that skimps on nothing. Huge heroics meets mighty monsters in a head on collision of brawn and beastly behavior! Add in an over the top villain turn from Broderick Crawford as Illus the totally ill king that first goes after Goliaths brother and then his wife. He just doesn't know when to quit! Goliath has to battle bat monsters and other mythic creatures to save the day-and not even a centaur with a grudge is going to slow him down.
This film has a very weird and bizarre sensibility that sets it high on the list of mythological muscle movies-and this is greatly helped by the fact that we can watch a nice print of the film that retains the strange otherworldly colors and compositions. Also, can you beat a film that not only has Wandisa Guida in period costume, but lowers our hero in to a CAVE OF HORRORS right at the start? I'm also a big fan of Peplum that has fun with the characters, and the relationship of Goliath and his jealous brother is a welcome change from the hero/goofy sidekick routine. Only Goliath, Professional Family Therapist, would find a way to help his brother by tying him to a tree to keep him from doing the "wrong" thing. Mark Forest nails just the right mix of sly smiles and swinging fists to make me a Goliath fan for life.
I love it. This is a must for your Peplum collection!

Hercules and the Princess of Troy was a total surprise, this 48 minute TV pilot, which sadly did not lead to hundreds of episodes, was directed by Albert Band and featured a screenplay co-written by Ugo Liberatore (of the notorious Survivors of the Bounty infamy)-and it would have been EXACTLY the kind of show that would have kept a nine year old version of myself in a coma on Saturday afternoons. A gleeful coma. And actually, this put adult me in a gleeful coma as well. Hercules and his crew, sailing along the high seas in a boat marked H, run across some pirates and kick ass. Amusingly, Gordon Mitchell is leading the pirates! Now we know the merry men of 'cles are tough and can meet any situation head on. As they come ashore they are embroiled in the city of Troy's woes of a giant sea monster living off shore. The city dwellers have been sacrificing virgins to the big beast and Herc is here to save the day. Even better, he has a super scientist pal that creates underwater fire to help! A little politicking, a little love play and a GREAT Carlo Rambaldi monster make this a perfect sub one hour adventure.
Hercules is played by Gordon Scott, who would have been perfect for the series, and he is joined by not only George Ardisson but the super cool Roger Browne is also on hand.
Well, televisions Peplum theater's loss was Eurospy's gain.
Great fun, I would recommend this to anyone that likes Peplum films, or better yet, a nice appetizer for those not yet in to this particularly beefy sub genre.

You tell me there is a big cyclops and Gordon Mitchell in a movie, any movie, and I'm there in a heartbeat. Atlas in the Land of the Cyclops delivers on just that and is a lot of fun along the way.
Chelo Alonso is stunning as the evil, yet willing to reform after Gordon Mitchell flashes a few big smiles at her, and indeed the Cyclops does appear and he is a groovy monster to say the least. For a film made in 1961, this Maciste entry is surprising for the level of cool special effects as well as the surprisingly violent battle with the Cyclops that finishes the film out. A baby up for sacrifice, a spear and one big eye...you guess what happens next!
This is fun, but the prints I've found so far are drained of most of the color and scope that would really make this more enjoyable...I'd love to see it get the image quality it deserves. This is a warm up for the awesome Giant of Metropolis for Gordon Mitchell, but he shows off not only the brawn, but a sense of humor that classic would not exploit. And just wait until you see him rowing that galley ship all by himself, a task worthy of Maciste and his legendary might!


This Son of Hercules is Argoles, played by Dan Vadis. I am not the biggest Vadis fan, but he is good here and has plenty to do as he battles not only a dragon but also has to wrestle a bear while standing on a log being used as a bridge over a pit of lava. Alright, that scene alone makes the entire film worthwhile, it is really memorable and there are plenty of other feats of strength to go with it. He saves a beautiful woman from having her eyes plucked out by a wicked queen! He battles subterranean marauders! He unleashes lava!!
Hard to really knock on the film at all, it is very fast paced and I was very pleased to take in the version on the Mill Creek set WARRIORS, because it features the film in two parts as episodes of The Sons of Hercules-complete with intro / outro music and highlights. This alone probably added a lot to my enjoyment, I felt even more like a stunned and glued to the television young version of myself...I missed a lot of these as a kid, so this was really nice.
Plus, another EuroSpy star to be, Ken Clark (listed as Ken Klark) appears!

Euro-Obscuro fans might pick up on the inclusion of Metheus Film as a production company. I did a triple take because this company released such Mario Siciliano films as ROLF, SEVEN RED BERETS and ORGASMO NON-STOP! Bizarre connections my specialty!

More to come including THOR AND THE AMAZON WOMEN, ERIK THE CONQUEROR and...whatever I watch tonight!! Viva Musclemen, hurrah beautiful and evil Queens and Maximus Mayhem with the Monsters....I'm loving the Peplum!

Sinewy Selections 2 - The Power of Peplum Compels Me

The mighty sons of Sinewy Selections roam the blogs...I'm on a Peplum roll of late and here are the next batch of mighty men, groovy gods and delightful dancers... with a few mighty merry monsters to boot!


Now can you really go wrong when you have Pierre Brice as Zorro, the gigantic Alan Steel as Maciste and Umberto Lenzi directing? Nope, and this fun and fast paced adventure proves it. Dropping Maciste in to another bizarre setting Ala The Witches Curse, this time our big lug ends up caught in the middle of two princesses seeking a letter that will pronounce one of the queen. In awesome Betty and Veronica fashion we have the evil Brunette Malva (Moira Orfei) and the kindly yet stern when she wants to be, Isabelle (Maria Grazia Spina) manipulating our heroes as Maciste ends up on the wrong side while Zorro pops up to help the good girl. In typical Marvel Team-Up fashion the leading men clash a few times, both physically with swords and big honking logs and in a funny battle of wits that has masked drinking games and more. While the two heroes are the featured attraction, I must admit that Orfei as Malva was really distractingly fun to watch-when she reveals her master plan for Maciste is to drop him through a trap door she sure does come off like a sucker.
Luckily, I watched a fan subbed edition using a gorgeous widescreen print of the film, and there are lots of great shots using Zorro and Maciste showing off their trademark poses. Lenzi is known for his horror films of course, but I've always thought of him as having a lot of flair for action as his great crime films can attest. This was early in his career, but he pulls off the fisticuffs and muscular mayhem perfectly. Utterly enjoyable and a great mash up for Maciste.


The Warriors 50 pack from Mill Creek has this film as The Sons of Hercules in the Land of Darkness and includes the opening song and splits up to give us the "coming next" reel for the second half as well. I can't answer exactly why I love this so much, but I felt like a UHF signal was bouncing off some distant star in the best way possible. And what a fun film this one is. It isn't well made, but let me tell you, this one is never boring. Argoles (Dan Vadis) smacks up monsters, battles a bear while the dynamic duo are duking it out on a fallen tree suspended over a lava pit, has a killer score by Fracesco De Masi and my favorite Eurospy Ken Clark shows up to boot. The "Ken Klark" credit made my day...
Yes, this is the business and reminds me why a cheap Peplum can be a great one! I'm not a really big fan of Vadis in everything I see him in, but he is really good and seems mightily amused and massively large and in charge throughout.


The gods themselves get center stage in this bizarre, wonderful, kooky and utterly charming story as Vulcan (Rod Flash) and Mars (Roger Browne-another great Eurospy) just can't get along, because they both get all puffed up over Venus (Annie Gorassini) and piss off Jupiter so much that he sends the duo earthside without powers to fight it out. This causes all kinds of trouble involving Lizard Men, an unbelievable trip to Neptune's Grotto that sees the actors JUMPING in and out of frame to suggest some form of swimming I think, a plot to build a jumbo sized tower to defeat Pluto that barely gets off the ground and a lot of fisticuffs as well. There is nothing that is not fun here, so it gets a high recommendation-but I've left the best for last. Bella Cortez is back as the singing, running and gravity defying beauty that just won't quit. You can watch the entire film for nothing but her, the treat is-the rest is totally entertaining! To quote my pal Rick, they hadn't invented sports bras back in the Peplum days...and we are all the better for it!
Did I mention Gordon Mitchell as Pluto??? CHOMP CHOMP goes the scenery. Also, this being released in 1962 is really interesting-and while I can't really think there is a solid connection, the Gods realm and it's connection to earth looks stunningly similar to the presentation of Thor and Asgard in the Marvel Comics.
Now then...I present to you-all the proof you need to see that this is a must have for your Peplum Collection. Bella Cortez...so aptly named you are.

Maciste in King Solomon's Mine sounds like a great idea, but the film is middle of the road all the way. Set in the mystical city of Zimba in Africa, the globe trotting Maciste-played by Reg Park at least-doesn't really appear for the first half hour! An evil queen is in charge and she is a woman who just digs watching people dig for gold on her behalf. Can you dig it? I can...to a point. Because once Maciste gets rolling in the story he is enslaved with a GOLD bracelet (of course) and spends lots of time digging and lifting. And digging. And lifting.
Bah.
But all is not lost, because you do have the obligatory straining and lifting and battling the horses sequences and the final reel is excellent. It may really be just pretty good, but comes as a really lively shock if you make it all the way through the film. Wandisa Guida is easy to look at, so that helps a bit.
Piero Regnoli writes and directs this less than epic adventure and tries his best to make ends meet. I was very excited to see his name as the director, because he wrote so many films and directed only a few I'm always curious to see how they are. Nothing special here, though I was really impressed by how many times spikes threaten Maciste in this film! In probably the best sequence of all, Maciste battles away from a big spike covered board, and then turns the tables (har har) and runs amok with it all over the bad guys.
Fun, but you can do better with your 90 minutes.

Sinewy Selections-My Peplum Obsessions

After the Halloween Horrors selections had me spending the month with the horror genre, I was looking for something different. I love horror films, but there is certainly more to my cinematic diet and quite by accident I discovered that Peplum needed some love, and fast. The last thing I watched for Halloween was the always awesome Goliath and the Vampires, and I could not have had a better way to flow into the muscular mayhem of EuroAdventure!
Here is the roster to date of my sinewy selections...


Goliath And The Vampires is right at the top of the pile of happy time flicks for me. I did not see it as a kid, but found it quite by accident when I was just starting to explore the Italian horror scene with a broader eye. And this is truly a great blend of horror and classical style Peplum with Gordon Scott thrust in to a weird world that has a little bit of EVERYTHING, but especially fun is Kobrak the evil Vampire Villain and his weird flying creatures! As with many grand adventures, Goliath is on the case because of a beautiful woman captured by a creepy monster and has to bust a whole lot of heads on the little island of Salminak. Plot goes to the side as Goliath has to tackle soldiers and monsters alike after Kobrak tears up his village in search of blood and young women (yikes, the sharks get the women that are too old!!).
I love this film because it looks weird and plays even stranger. The effects and especially the make up for Kobrak are memorable and if you can't dig this bloody film that hurls more horror fantasy at you than most films ever have-well, you may want to stick to the more earthbound of Maciste flicks. If you are a horror fan that loves the Eurotrash cinema and wants to feel like you are at the greatest Saturday afternoon matinee (or late night drive-in)-this is your film. Go watch it. Now.

Hercules Against The Moloch features one of the best looking villains in the genre and has Giorgio Ferroni directing, so you know you are in for a good time. Ferroni knows horror (Night of the Devils) and action (New York Calling Superdragon), and he could pull together a decent Peplum as well! A top notch cast includes Gordon Scott, Michel Lemoine and Rosalba Neri, who gets to play full on bad woman here, and they elevate any moment that does not include heroic action. The weird twist here, after we have the legend of the deformed Moloch who is really stunning to look at, is that this is not a Hercules movie at all. Gordon Scott plays Glauco, a prince that takes up a mission to bring down the Moloch Cult and falls in love along the way. So, there are not a ton of really superheroic moments, but instead Glauco goes undercover and decides to use the name Hercules to do it. This would be like me going to a porn set and taking the stage name "John C. Holmes" in a lot of ways-but nobody questions Glauco.
Fast paced and very exciting, you do get a bit of recycled shots from The Trojan Horse for the battle sequences, but the story of The Moloch, his sacrifices and Glauco's quest to bring him down make it worth a viewing.

The Giant of Metropolis is another favorite-perhaps the ultimate cross between Serial Sci-Fi and Peplum, it is an amazingly serious bit of goofy cinema. Obro, played by Gordon Mitchell, is sent to the city of Metropolis in order to be the naturally (HUGE) man to warn the city dwellers and the mad king Yotar about the dastardly potential all of their scientific noodling will do against the earth. Yotar doesn't take this well, beating on Obro endlessly, forcing him to do battle with crazed Pygmys and monsters while also being experimented upon. This is all great entertainment, but I find the weird relationship between Yotar, his son Elmos and his own father. For some reason the king wants to transplant his fathers mind in to his sons body, and then make him eternally young. This is certainly a ripe field for the Yotar Family Therapist! Obro continues to get twisted up like a pectorally powerful pretzel until he gets not only his message across, but the earth opens up to drive the point home.
Equal parts pop art and Peplum, this is a joy to watch every time. The use of minimalist beats in a strange version of the typical beautiful woman dancing for the court really excites my inner pulp loving kid brain.
Look for the sequence of Obro strapping on some antler / blade claws and carving up a troupe of evil soldiers, I would be very surprised if stills from this sequence did not inspire the Marvel Comics character Wolverine.
A must.

Rome Against Rome / War Of The Zombies is an interesting film directed by Giuseppe Vari, who was in the "directors" chair of Urban Warriors, one of the death knell flicks from the Italian Post Nuke genre...and it does not feature zombies! Ettore Manni is our hero, sent by Rome to investigate a gold robbery that has everyone in a tizzy. What he finds is that the locals are being manipulated by an evil sorcerer named Adherbad-played under some wacked out make-up by John Drew Barrymore. Adherbad does come packing an army of the undead, but these are really ghosts and not zombies, though we are treated to an interesting little Altered Beast style "Rise From Your Grave!" sequence.
Susy Anderson plays an evil queen and a young Evelyn Steward, who looks STUNNING in this film, is a damsel in distress for Gaius to save-so there is plenty of Peplum Pulchritude on show.
The big battle sequence with the undead soldiers must have been an amazing trippy experience during the theatrical run of this. I could not stop thinking of Ralph Bakshi and his Lord of the Rings, because the crazy strobing and layered ghosts vs. men looked like a nifty bit of Retro Rotoscoping!
Not a top title really, but interesting....

Conqueror Of Atlantis made me come close to actually jumping up and down more than once (the one body pump was adequate), because if you show me the name Alfonso Brescia it just makes me smile. Add that this is a Kirk Morris film AND a Brescia film-I'm super happy. Toss in ATLANTIS and blue men that look a whole lot like some of the characters from the Spaced Out Classics of Al Bradley Bonkersville and I'm elated. Heracles washes ashore after some adventure or another and finds himself in Egypt where he ends up caught between two warring tribes that are convinced the other are trying to destroy them. Heracles spends a little time on each side and realizes that a third party is involved...ATLANTIS! Crazy scientist Ramir (played with zany beard by the perpetual bad guy Piero Lulli) is converting the missing tribesman in to android/zombie hitman in Superhero clothing at the behest of the evil queen and her female guards-until Heracles comes in to break it all down. There is a lot of fighting, a lot of Al Bradley spectacle and a very effective use of color and smoke as special effects as our hero witnesses the dread process of androidization. I loved this bit...
The whole thing is just a blast to watch and Kirk Morris, who I call Eddie Haskell with Muscles, is so comfortable with these roles he brings an almost casual sense of fun to every scene he is in. He even manages to add a sense of gravitas (take that Mr. Senn) to what amounts to pulling two sticks up and down for almost ten minutes of screen time! Go to the 8 minute mark of this clip and watch Morris react to Atlantis for the first time....priceless material that is not only a great moment in the movie, but the perfect reaction to most any Brescia film!

This is the b-feature on the Something Weird DVD of Goliath and the Dragon and is one I'd recommend.

Massacre In The Black Forest is directed by Tough To Kill favorite Ferdinando Baldi and was a very pleasant, if not very Peplum as I know it, experience. A downbeat saga of two Roman Centurions, one of whom is a Germanic Tribesman shunned by the Romans, it is violent and really serious. It is also very very good-even if the entire affair looks cheap. The two main characters are played with intensity by Cameron Mitchell as the Roman that gets mightily annoyed by his friend, yet does not want to kill him and Hans von Borsody as the obsessive Arminius. Baldi knows action films well-and he pulls off a great fort seige sequence that looks like more than a few stuntmen took major risks during the filming of. Nope, you would not see most guys standing under big gobs of flaming oil as they get dropped on them and hope to hit the water below hard enough to put out the flames. Most of the time, it doesn't. Yeesh.
A little romance, but that can't hold a candle to the hard ass action here-there are THREE massacres by my count, so you get triple what you bargained for. I'm going to have to watch the other Baldi film, In The Shadow Of Eagles soon. Bonus points for Beba Loncar making a brief, yet enjoyable, appearance.


Triumph Of The Son of Hercules starts really well with a sacrifice to a big statue, but quickly becomes a very typical Saturday Afternoon matinee film, again with Kirk Morris-though he doesn't have nearly the amount of fun material to work with here as he usually does. Most happily this is the first Sons of Hercules Theme Song appearance for me in a while. I love that track... The final battle with the Uri-Men is good, but the rest of the film won't dazzle you. Well, the bit on the above poster with the test of strength being a "stop the chariots from going Motel Hell" is cool...

So, that is the start of my Peplum month with more to come...I've already dug in to Umberto Lenzi's groovy Maciste cross over Zorro contro Maciste which is great! Stay tuned and HEAVE some Peplum in to your players today.