can u just shut up??

Tak semua orang akan bersetuju dengan apa yang kita buat kan, sebab apa, derang sendiri je yang tahu..*cemburu mungkin*
Tapi boleh tak kalau ko tak suka pe yang aku buat, tolong lah jgn persoalkan keputusan aku tu. Yes, u don't say it directly, tp cara ko menyindir2 itu adalah lagi menyakitkan hati ye. I'm only doing what i think is the best for myself, kalau ko rasa tak suka, tak setuju ngan apa yang aku buat, can u please just shut up. Aku tak perlukan pendapat yang berbaur rasa tak puas hati tu.

Tolong jangan kata duit aku banyak 'mesti majlis ko gempak kan nanti'

Ohhh, tolong lah. Rasanya aku lah pengantin yang paling berjimat. Semua nak carik yang murah *tp yang best+lawa* Dan sesungguhnya duit aku tak banyak, malah rasanya tak cukup ok.
Hmmm..bila memikirkan apa yang orang kata, memang penat. Bukan kepala je, hati lagi lah. Maka, hirau kan lah. Kita tahu pe yang kita buat kan...

-oohhh, dah dpt 70pcs, sukanya. sakit tengkuk pun tahan je lah-

ni pembulian ke apa ni namanya??

Uiihhhh!!! Penat ke Terengganu & Kelantan last 2 week masih lagi terasa, belum lak tambah dengan penat ke Bera menghadiri kenduri kawin sepupu, 2 hari kami atas jalan je *penat nya rasa badan*

Ekwan siap msg 'sedapnya dapat tido atas katil sendiri. 2 hari tido tak proper'

Kesian uncit saya, dari JB ke Bera, pastu sambung lak ke Maran. Dia drive sorang. Lesen Cik Dayu dah tamat tempoh rupanya. Maka, tak dibenarkan la memandu. Nak tak nak, en Ekwan sorang la bawak kete. Kita ni jadik peneman je lah. Nak tido, langsung tak dibenarkan. Kalau terlena pun, 5 minit je dia bagi,pastu dia kejut suruh teman semula.
Ngantuk sgt tau, bayangkan lah sendiri, kul 2 am sampai JB. kul 6 pagi dah gerak ke Pahang, pastu singgah Maran, kul 9 malam gerak JB semula..penat tak penatnya badan saya. Uncit Ekwan mesti lagi penat

Tapi hari ni, saya lagi penat jadiknya bila dapat call dari TA. Ada peralihan kuasa, perubahan skop keje mendadak kat bahagian Teknikal PPSPPA *rasa nak ngamuk tapi tahan je, tak lama dah kat sini*

Kini, segala urusan ubahsuai pejabat dibawah tanggungjawab Cik Dayu, dibantu 2 TA dan QS. Giler lah!! Ada lebih kurang 20+ pejabat in renovation progress.. Tetiba kena amik projek orang, sedangkan dah nak siap, bagi je lah current engineer tu settle smpai siap *susah kalau org penting kan diri sendiri ni*

Dan tadi, baru je dapat call
' dayu, esok hang kena pi Kangar, Perlis ngan Sik sekali '

Aduhaiii!! 3 hari ke utara lak. Site meeting ngan T&C sekali. Giler lah!! Kontraktor serah projek kat aku!! Aku kena terima projek!! Saya kini adalah wakil S.O*dulu ada J44, skrg dayu sorang*
Tekanan siot!! Tanggungjawab besar sgt ni...*gaji ciput*

Rasa tak sabar nak letak jawatan. Tak kira, 1hb Dec ni antar resign letter. Lantak lah..tak tahan dah keje mcm ni...*ada boss keje nak lepas tgn je, baik aku jadik boss, gaji kita share sama2*

-JKR & SPA cepat lah antar surat suruh lapor diri-

saya penat

Badan saya penat.. Otak penat.. Mata penat, rasa nak katup

Tapi saya tetap di sini, pukul 8 pagi mengadap V30 buat report, walau malam td sampai pukul 10.
-owwhhh, saya rasa terseksa yang amat!!! ada keje kosong tak??-

Keje macam ni mampu buat orang jadik giler!! Arahan datang tak kira masa, tak tengok keadaan, tak pikir langsung kemampuan kita. Tahunya, keje jalan. Yang penting, pe yang diminta ada atas meja.

Saya bukan robot..
Badan saya ada limitnya...
Tapi selagi mampu, saya turutkan je lah.

Saman ohhh Saman

Isskkk..baru je nak senang-lenang, tak mau fikir pape. Nak concentrate keje konon.
Sekali tengahari ni En Ekwan sms 'kita ada problem besar. tak boleh amik roadtax. Blacklisted'

Arggghhhh!!!! Sudah..
Memang lah tau kita ni banyak saman tak bayar, ingat kan lepas.
*ko ingat PDRM sengal ke dayu???*


Arrgghhh!!! Rasa nak menjerit.. Punya lah melambak saman ni. Tak kan nak settle kan semua sekali gus, makan roti cicah air lah jawabnya.
Tapi rasanya bleh dapat kurang 50% ni.
So esok kena mintak half day, nak kena gi Bukit Aman.

Habis la duit saya bulan ni..
'uncit..sharing is caring kan?? *wink..wink*
tak kira, kena bayar sama, tu yg kat speed trap kat Temerloh tu, kamu yg buat..

tak suka la..

It's raining heavily!!

And Ekwan should fetched me as i have to bring home 20 sets of quotation for tomorrow. And he just sms me and told that he will fetch me by motor *it's not rain yet before* I just agreed, it's better than keep waiting until 8pm rite..and will collect the things at the nite

Tapi camne dia nak dtg ngan motor hujan2 gini???

So gave him a call, nak pastikan camne dia nak dtg kalau ujan2 gini. Tapi suddenly dia macam nak marah lak. Tahu la jalan jammed smua,kita lak jadik mangsa.

'Pukul 8 lah org sampai kat awak. Prepare la pape yg patut'

Isskkk..tak suka la. Ikut hati nak je balik sendiri. Malas dah nak tggu dia. Dokumen ni esok je la amik. Singgah je opis dulu baru gi taklimat tu. Lambat pun lambat la..kontraktor tu smua harus la tggu kedtgan i. I tak smpai, smua tak bermula *tiba2 rasa berkuasa*

things remain the same

After a long day of silence, Ekwan finally answered my call. How relieved i was..luckily, he sound as usual..there's no sulking tone in his voice..but still... he being so cold -dia masih marah..i know it-

What i'm expecting? I'm should thankful that he let me talk..even i just don't know how to explain everything. He also agreed to met me last night -i amat suka hati- tapi keadaan tak kan jadik baik tiba-tiba. He really can't accept what have i done... tapi tu smua kisah lama, just because of that stupid sms, from that **** person... Ekwan turn to a totally different person.. Hate it!!!!

For now, i don't know whether he will forgive me or not? But i just imagine if ever will not?
No!!!! I just can't accept it!!

I'm missing my dear..

~nak prepare on my engagement pun terus takde mood, hantaran semua my hsmate yang gubah..~

It hurt

His ignorance make me hurt...

He won't answer my call, not replying my sms...
It really hurt!!!

I really want to talk with him!! To hear his voice..
But he just rejected all my call... It so sad!!

I know i'm wrong..

But please, i need a chance to talk, to explain everything..

~please give me a chance~

Bodoh la Ko!!!

Hah!! Kan tak pasal2 aku dak memaki hamun!! Bodoh!!! -dayu tolong bersabar-

Ingat aku tak tau ke apa ko buat hah? Nasib baik aku ni penakut tau -dan masih tahu jaga air muka org- kalau tak dah lama aku maki ko depan2 tau, biar semua org dalam tren tu tau -aku gak yg glamer jap-

Ada gak org perangai tak senonoh macam ko ni kan.. Marah nya aku!! Sesuka hati ko je amik gambar aku.. ingat aku ni sape? Makwe ko ke yang ko sesuka hati, tanpa izin aku, ko nak snap picture aku... -ko ni kan mmg **** lah-

~tangan ni rasa ringan je lah~

Drama..Drama...Episod 2

As it already almost 4.40 and Ekwan still no gimme any call or sms... I teramat la marah, bulan ni je ntah berapa kali dia buat macam ni... Dah la suppose we have to go to her sister at Bdr Putra Mahkota,as her mother was there.... Dah lambat macam ni, nak pegi apa nyer...

Dayu...please be more patience(nak sabar apa lagi...he's ignored my call and sms for almost 2 hour, there anybody who can stand it? Don't think so...) I tried to call him again.. The same result.. So it final, i trus grab my bag, pick pairs of shirt..sumbat dlm beg and get out from my house.

Where to go? I give Aziah a call...ask if it possible for me spent my weekend at her place...she just say ok. So, i make my way to stesen Bank Negara, beli tiket to Kuala Kubu Baru.. Nekadnya... On my way to commuter, Ekwan did called me... I malas nak jawab, sakit ati.. He should understand it.. He sms me, and tell me that he is on his way to me... Datang la ko, aku takde dah kat umah... Ngan mata bengkak akibat menangis bagai tadi...kena poyo2 ber'sunglass' di ptg yg redup itu menunggu komuter... Lambat lak komuter ni, ade gak dekat 30min aku kat situ. Suddenly rase macam nak on Hp... Hmmm...melambak2 msg ekwan... But this one really make me going crazy

"awak buat la apa awak nak buat.. buat la perangai awk tu, sampai mati pun saya x maafkan awk" - Ekwan kalau dia marah, dia bahasa kan diri dia'saya'

Ceh... i lak yang kena marah. Patut ke? Amat x patut, so unfair. Arrgghh...Lantak ko, malas nak layan. Then another msg coming in...

" merajuk sikit nak kuar ngan jantan lain, memang jenis x setia"

This is exceed the limit.. He the one who doing wrong, apa lak nak marah-marah i ni.. He really make me lose my patience, i gave him a call staright way..

Me: What make u think i'm other guy? Ingat org xde keje lain ke.. Asal gaduh ngan awak nak carik jantan?

Ekwan: Abis tu awk gi mana? Carik kat umah, ur housemate kata xde.. Awak ngan sape ni?

Did he tried to find me at home? Risau gak rupe nye...

Me: Watpe gi umah? Tadi org call x angkat, yg dtg umah watpe?

Ekwan: Dah awak x angkat call, x reply msg... gi la trus umah awak. Awak ngan jantan mana ni?

Dia ni betul-betul nak buat aku hangin satu badan.

Ekwan: Awak ni kan.. Agaknya kalau org dah mati terjun bangunan pun awak ingat org kuar ngan jantan
lain... Tolong lah...

He kept silence. Felt guilty agaknya. He should!! I terus end the call. Then he msg me..

"awak kat mana ni? Awak nak gi mana? Orang dtg amik awak..."

Hehehe...nampak gaya kemenangan berada dipihak ku..hahaha.. Dia mengalah akhirnya. Tapi nak bagitau ke i kat mana. Macam so easy je i nak stop merajuk.. So, i just reply his msg.

" x payah la awak...tau la org uruskan idup org. I still can entertain my life even without u"

He called me later, and we started the best malay movie ever..Ahakksss.... After took almost an hour, i decide to tell him where i am... I was at Stesyen Putra, Komuter.... He asked me to wait for him, but i acted so stubborn. I walked out the station and ahead to The Mall...

Few minute later he arrived at Putra Stesyen. Ngan selamba i cakap i kat The Mall. Maybe he don't feel like to quarrel with me anymore...so he going straight for me without asking anything.

When the car stop, i just get into the car without even looked at him. Geram sangat kat dia. Tapi dia tanpa rase bersalah try to make a joke...while checking my bag

Ekwan: Ayang nak gi mana ni? Nak gi holiday eh...x ajak orang pun. Ayang jahat...

It's not funny lah. Nyampah ade... Dai tak tau ke, there is somebody who is really mad at him in the car...

Me: Tak kelakar lah awak...

He stopped tried to please me. He drove to Restoran Sri Mahkota, kat my house area, one our eating place...

Ekwan: Makan jom yang.. Orang lapar la... Dari tadi x makan...

Me: Hai...berjam-jam ngan kawan x makan ke? I cakap x tengok muka dia langsung...

Ekwan: Jom lah...

Me: Malas... Awak pegi la. Orang tunggu dalam keta,biasa dah tunggu2 ni.. Amik ko,kalau x terasa x tau la...

Ingatkan he going to go by himself, kadang2 dia pegi je... Tapi kali ni dia get back into the car and drive straight to where... i just don't know. I tengok luar...hmm... Ni jalan nak gi Genting ni, Dia nak gi Genting ke? Sampai kat tol gombak, he keep staright...sah... we heading to Genting..

Sampai kat Genting Sempah, he stopped... Isi minyak..Lepas tu drive thru Mc'd...

Ekwan: Ayang nak pe? Double Cheese? Ke awak nak bubur je... You on diet kan... - A'ah...

I senyap je. Tak jawab pun,sedangkan time tu memang lapar giler. He get me Nugget... Ikut ati nak je terus makan, macam yg selalu i buat tapi ego kan... I biar je nugget tu sejuk dan keras...

Dalam perjalanan nak ke atas tu, i keep asking myself.. Should i forgive him, he did tried to please me. Should i keep ignoring him... Half me want to just forget what has happened but my other half just don't agree for it. I rase macam malas lak nak panjang-panjangkan hal ni.. Dia pun dah try pujuk i... So, i'm going to forgive him....( Rase macam senang lak mengalah kan...)

So when he parked the car at Genting Hotel's parking i start to him.

Me: Kita nak gi mana? Nape awak datang sini?

Ekwan: Ntah, just feel so.. kita jalan-jalan je lah...

Okay.. Sejuk nye la Genting that night. Both of us keep walking to First World Plaza. We have a drink at Kenny Rogers. Kat situ, we discuss everthing... He did explained what make can't answer any call or sms from me.. He was actually at Sunway Lagoon...(pegi mandi-manda x ajak aku...siap ko nanti..) His phone is in his friend's bag... And then he came out with this question

Ekwan: Nape la awak ni nak marah-marah.. Penah ke kalau org kata nak dtg kat awak org x dtg.. Orang lambat je yang.. tunggu je la jap...

I senyap je. Malas la nak back-up myself,nanti dia tetap akan kata i yang degil..tak reti nak sabar lah...dengar kan je lah alasan dia tu...

Ekwan: Yang, orang mintak maaf eh... Tapi yang, orang dah x sama macam masa kita kat Shah Alam dulu, orang dah x boleh nak 24-7 ngan awak je.... Masa org kat Kedah, kawan-kawan lah tempat org berkongsi susah senang... Awak paham kan....

Waaarggghhh!!!! Rase nak nangis la. I x sanggup nak ingat balik what i did to him last 2 year.. Suddenly i just get up and sit next to him( tadi i duduk depan dia). He looked to me...

Ekwan: Yeah...anything?

Me: I luv you!!! So much!!!!

Ekwan: Awak pun tahu camne orang sayang kat awak kan. Jangan lah buat macam ni lagi
awak..Kita ni tua dah..jangan la buat perangai budak-budak lagi.

Me: Awak lah tua, orang baru 24...

Ekwan: Nk masuk 25 dah awak tu...

I tersengih balik kat dia. Malam tu we spent our time there, around 2 baru kitaorg turun semula ke Kl. Mesti u all wonder what make so 'cair' bile dia remind me bout what happened last 2 years.. Maybe i can write it later...

Drama... Drama..Drama

Last saturday(26 Jan 09) Min is coming home, setahun dia kat UK... So we did planned to give her a surprise... Everyone agreed nak berkumpul kat umah Salwa by 6, coz Min is expecting to arrive by 6.30-7.oopm...so bleh lah borak2 dulu kat umah Sal kan... One more thing, as min already told Sal that she has something for all of us for our last year birthday, it make me to find something for her... xkan dia je nak bagi present kan..

So, i pun confirm kan la ngan Mr. ekwan whether dia nak join or not for this gathering(sebab selalu dia prefer i gi sorang)... He did agreed to go with me. He promised to come to me around 2.oopm as he has already make a promise with his frens for their monthly gathering(nyampah lak aku...)..So i just agreed, there still lots of time kan...nak window shopping kat OU pun sempat... So while waiting for him, i just watching TV at home(so boring...dear where r u?)... I did called him to check whether he can come early or not.... Hajat di hati nak jumpe awal,tapi hampeh...so frustated.. he changed our meet time to 4... Rase nak nangis... Nak x nak i masuk bilik, belek2 magazine till i fall asleep.

Pa'a call wake me up... Hmmm..it already 3.15pm... i trus call ekwan...no answer... I gi dapur jap, minum air and try to reach him again...still no answer(dia mula dah...) I just sms him,hoping that he will give me a reply... It have been 5 minute, so i just decide to be ready. Kalau tetiba dia sampai, i'm ready... I pun mandi lah,iron baju...blow-dry my hair...and it already almost 4pm..but still no respond from him... I dah mula hangin.. I try maintain cool and do my make-up..sambil i keep calling him,agaknye dh bape banyak missed kat his phone...

Dah 4.30, with unanswered called, unreplied messages...i rase nak ngamuk. Dah banyak kali dia buat macam ni...but this time, i really can't take it anymore..i just can't stand it... i have enough....