Even The Skies Get Rough

" I won't give up on us..."

Daa...~

I think seeing patient make me nervous all the time.
I think I just want to be the one that I've been dreaming since form 3.
And, get married definitely have cute little creature(s).
Perfect.









Mudah.com.
Help, husband wanted.
Kekekkekeke.

Bzzz...!

"We're going to balai polis,"
"Why?"
"Your uncle, accident,"

It was 12 midnight. It was Hospital Kuala Lumpur. It was crowded there.

"Are you okay?"
"My chest... pain, very pain,"

Everybody walked fast. It was like silent movie buat actively move. It was fear. May be just fear, but obviously affected the whole body system; heart beating faster, holding breath, mind whirling to nowhere expecting the worst ever.

Only if there were internet somewhere, nearby.

"Are you busy?"

First person.

One minute took forever, hoping the phone to vibrate. Nothing.

Enough.

"Are you busy?"

Second person.


"Are you busy?"

Third person.

"Are you busy?"

And the list went on and on.

Luckily there always somebody who know of why and know on how. Even if the body is not there, here, but to have some info at the very critical time... was privilege.

Bzzzz. Bzzz.


"Are you okay?"

Bzzzz. Bzzzz.

"Must be something bad, eh?"

Bzzzz. Bzzzz.

"Nope, anything I can help?"

Bzzz. Bzzz.

"Why?"

And phone started to buzz repeatedly.
Steady. There're help. There always are.

"Sorry to disturb very late. What are the sign of broken chest or perhaps broken ribs,"

Another forever time taken.

"Are you okay? Is that difficult to breath? How was the pain? The scale maybe?"
"It is... bad,"

Bzzz. Bzzz.

"The sign is bla bla... bla..,"

Bzzz. Bzzzz.

"Why. While breathing there must be bla bla bla...."

Bzzz.. Bzzz

"How was the impact? If too bad it must be bla bla bla...,"

Bzzz. Bzzzz.

"Why?"

Silent. Is there any other nice words to hide the feeling now? When the question has been answered there is no need to spread any further, to increase the sadness and to add on another unnecessary pain.

"Nothing. Just plain bored,"

Laju

Kelajuan dan pecutan, satu prinsip fizik. Bukan satu, dua. Dua prinsip, laju dan pecut. Setiap pecutan akan menyebabkan semakin bertambah kelajuan.

Cuma, kena pastikan pecutan negatif atau positif. Kedepan atau kebelakang. 

Pecutan. Kelajuan. Speed and Velocity.

Ingat, kelajuan membunuh!

Hati-hati.

Knock Knock

Knock Knock.
Sorry, going somewhere at the moment.


Knock Knock.
Sorry, no more available.


Knock Knock.
Sorry, no longer here.


Knock Knock.
Sorry, not at home.

How about knocking this one?


Knock Knock.

I just haven't met you, yet.

... [38]

Maafkanlah bila hati,

Tak sempurna mencintaiMU!

Kan?

Aku rasa blog ni sangat membantu aku keep track histories dan significant dates. Sekarang, aku dok selongkar satu satu entry sebab nak cari the real date regarding certain things; especially all the warded and operations. Heh.

It's good to have journal like this one kan, but currently?

Sigh.

... [33]

... and I pray.

Worry

"Don't worry, the device is working now. Anyway, your mom got smiley face-lah.  "
"Just like you, Huda,"


---


"Its 630 pm already,"
"Don't worry. If it takes up to 11pm, I will still wait,"
"Have you eat?"
"Yep. Lunch. Don't worry,"
"Here. Actually I bought dinner for you,"


---


"Good job big boy! Don't worry his hearing is fine,"
"Thank you Huda. You're so friendly,"


---


"Just call me,"
"This is your handphone number?"
"When I pick the phone up, means I am ready to answer. It's okay, don't worry,"


---


"Huda, thank you and sorry for the mess,"
"Sure. Don't worry. That can be cleaned up,"

I always say, just don't worry.

But, why am I worrying so much?!

... [33]

Kurniakan ketabahan,
Hadirkan kesabaran.

Andai ini yang terbaik,
Mudahkan hati dan perasaan.

Kalau ada yang  lebih molek,
Titipkan langahku,
Satu persatu,
Kearah itu...

... [32]

One step closer...

One step closer....

Bisakah

Finally, the first tear dropped down...

I know how stupid I am,

How clueless I am,

How bad I am...

I know.

And,

It hurts...

... [31]

Somehow I really hate that I can't share stories here like I used to.

...

Shine my day, oh please....

Haih!

The thing is, don't simply put you own book where others who don't know you can see it. Especially the book with your ambitious-future-name like, Prof. Dr Huda Mustaffar. It is no doubt can help to encourage you to the next higher level of education, buuuutttttt it is also can turn out like this;

"Bagusnya, muda muda dah Prof,"

Pffftttttt!

.

The more I read, the more I'm afraid that it will be an..

OBSESSION

Melayang

Melayang-layang jangan jatuh,

Melayang terbang cari perhentian,

Melayang hingga kau penat terima,

Namun bukan berhenti semerta.

Andai ada esok, selama itulah harapan,

Kalau tiada, berat lagi bahu kau beban,

Tak terfikir apa tak terfikir bagaimana,

Jauh sekali tanggungan siksa.

Melayang-layang atas dan bawah,

Melayang tinggi terkadang rendah,

Melayang layang carilah cahaya,

Esok lusakan datang jua.

HM

What-a-Day

Aidil Adha.

Bangun pagi dengan batuk dan sakit tekat. Masuk tandas, lihat sputum/kahak warna kuning. Oh no, must be infection somewhere. Oh no, kena rush before asthma datang nak melawat juga. Oh no, all the clinics were closed oh come on its raya lah!

Pergi farmasi beli high concentratred vitamin C ke menatang apa. Dia ada tulis for those who prone to cold, sore throat and fever. For the first sign of cold, take 2 tablets per 3 hour. Oh oh oh...!

Something tak best, sebelum dapat asthma cari steroid inhaler. Ohhhhhhhh NO! HILANG. GREAT! Please, jangan masuk wad. It will be no HUSM anymore. No handsome doctors, no sweet medical students. Hhehehhe.

Lately, I always misplaced my medications. Sigh.

Happy Aidil Adha! 

Apakah korban anda?

Please...

... [27]

I don't know how to say this, but... I have a lot of questions now to ask. The questions that you allowed me to raise and you'll find time to answer. The questions, that make me change my perception towards you.. where it had been clouded with something that I couldn't have believe that. The questions that causing the hatred to disappear and answering all the doubts. The questions that tell me; cold people isn't bad and warm people isn't harmless.

You're you.

Only if I can tell you why.

Is this another way to tell how I miss those chats?