Priorities.

The American Catholic Patriotic Association.

We need a new term for the Pelosis, Ridges and Sr. Keehans of our country, their never-failing accommodation to the State, zeitgeist and advancement of newly-discovered "American" rights.

What better designation than the above? First, it acknowledges the work and inspiration of its sister organization across the Pacific (multiculturalism!), the uniquely American nature of the enterprise, and even allows them to declare their patriotism to the world. As an added bonus, they can ditch that annoying word "church."

Win, win, win, and bonus win!

I even have a motto for them: "Render Unto Caesar. Full stop."

The proposed "compromise" deserves the Cleveland Browns Reply.

A compromise has been offered in the Kulturkampf. It convinces only those who want to be convinced, and has the delighted imprimatur of Planned Parenthood, demonstrating how much of a "compromise" it is.

I have a recommendation for the bishops. In 1974, the General Counsel of the Cleveland Browns was sent a litigation threat by a local attorney regarding the danger of paper airplanes being thrown during football games. The Browns' attorney sent the following response:

Attached is a letter we received on November 19, 1974. I feel that you should be aware that some asshole is signing your name to stupid letters.

Very truly yours,

CLEVELAND STADIUM CORP.

James N. Bailey
General Counsel

I confess it will need some tweaking, but it's a thought.

For those of you looking for something more highbrow, Michael Sean Winters has a perfectly excellent  response. Fair warning--you will encounter the herdmind of Thinking [sic] Catholicism in the comments, so you might want to avoid that.