REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS PASSED: VHS covers I will never forget, movies I will never see

I cannot remember the first time I went into a video store. Like church and grandma's house, they were always just there. I would look around the horror section to see if a Godzilla or Frankenstein was lurking among the more salacious titles. Over the years there were certain VHS covers that left an impression. As a child, I was too scared to rent one (plus mom and dad, being sane, would have said no) but now I'm old enough to know that without question the covers are exponentially better than the actual movie.

What prompted these memories was a journey to Richmond's KO Video: a creepy little piece of 1982 preserved in 2009. The carpet was the first thing that got my attention. It's a shade of green that's both dingy and strangely fluorescent at the same time. After, I recovered from the Lovecraftian carpet, I noticed that the place is filled with broken televisions and VCR parts. A dusty display case contains Disney Beta-max and strange electronics with brand names long forgotten. At the horror section, I recognized several childhood cover traumas.

Look at the blurb. "Famous Monster" magazine loved this movie! It was endorsed by Forest Jay Aickerman himself!

I'm sure that this was not a pleasant photo shoot for that actress.

Despite having Vincent Price, I never wanted to check this one out. I thought Elvira was not going to give the material the proper respect it deserved. Seriously.

Screenplay by Gloria Steinem. Who knew?

Rutger Hauer is a future cop fighting a Creature from the Black Lagoon. On second thought, that sounds awesome.

The prequel to Microwave Massacre or Jeff Foxworthy meets Ed Gein?

I heard that the commentary track for the Criterion Collection edition will feature Ned Beatty AND Sheb Wooley.

Fox News is running this as a documentary about Canadian healthcare.

SPECIAL BONUS: A Mickey Rooney Pervtacular Double Feature! With cover art like this, who wouldn't want to rent these cinema treasures:

I got some of these images from here. Whoever keeps the site up is doing God's work.

Insects Have No Politics: PHASE IV Review

My grandfather told me about this movie when I was a kindergartner. I specifically remember his recounting of the scene in which the MENSA ants make little rafts to sail across a moat of gasoline. It sounded like the most amazing thing ever committed to film. Anybody could make a movie about ants on a rampage (The Naked Jungle, Them, It Happened At Lakewood Manor a.k.a Ants! etc.) but it took a real genius to make a film about ants who were also geniuses.

That genius was legendary graphic designer Saul Bass. This is the same Saul Bass who worked with Alfred Hitchcock and invented the modern title sequence. It’s natural to attempt to try to visualize a film before it is viewed. I could not do that with Phase IV. How can you imagine a film about intelligent ants that is directed by the guy who did Jimmy Stewart’s Vertigo nightmare?

The plot is simple: scientists build a base to study strange ant activity in the Southwest. Along the way, they take in a young farmer’s daughter whose family was killed by yellow pesticides intended to deter the ants. Bass’ talent as a designer is in full swing here. The most effective scenes are dialogue free and appeal to a sense of unreality and inhumanity that is scary in a much more disorienting way than the traditional sense of dread carried by horror films. The insect photography is top notch. It’s only surpassed by the similarly themed The Hellstrom Chronicle. Ants live right beside us (there’s probably some in my kitchen now) which makes their alien nature so unnerving.

The cause of the ant’s new power is not a chemical spill or atomic radiation but something much more esoteric. It’s time for Earth to move to the next phase and a cosmic force has chosen the ants over the humans. If this sounds very Aquarian, it’s because it is. This is a film that is very firmly in the tradition of 1970’s eco-occultism. I remember and episode of In Search of…. with Leonard Nimoy about people who hooked lie ditectors to plants. Phase IV is of that era. Just look at the posters. This is a movie that made a lot more sense in 1974.

Even though the film is primarily visual, the central performances are strong enough to give a sense of urgency and realism to a pretty outlandish and hippy-dippy premise. Nigel Davenport plays the physically and mentally deteriorating scientist with a ruggedness not seen in many obsessed scientist roles. The great Michael Murphy (of Allen's Manhattan and Altman's Nashville) is the scientist who is simply trying to communicate with the ants so that humanity can be given a second chance. Lynne Frederick does not get much to do besides be terrified by the super-colony and but she provides a beautiful and innocent face that contrasts nicely to the black mandibles of the film's monsters.

Phase IV is not an extremely entertaining film. It can be dull and obtuse. There are portions where the camera lingers a little too long on ant hills. Also, there is a five minute strectch where the base's ant alarm is going off. It’s a godawful sound and I had to mute the TV. I was worried that my neighbors were going to complain. “Sorry, just watching a movie about mystical ants! Won’t happen again!” I do give the filmmaker's credit for boldly making the film so unpleasant.

It’s lens flares and hallucinogenic sequences can date film terribly. I almost expected Billy Jack to show up a start kung-fuing the ants. The film did wind up on and episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. This is not completely undeserved. The film's metaphysical pretensions only draw attention to the fact that at the end of the day it's covering the same territory as Bert I. Gordon. It's those pretensions and Bass' graphic compostions, however, that make Phase IV a forgotten classic. It is unusual to find an animal invasion film with such intellect and scope. The film is worth watching if only to see the master title designer tell his own story.

Watch the trailer!

IMDB!