yesterday

It's been one of those weeks.  I feel so tired and full of things in my head.

First, my birthday was last Wednesday.  I knew it was going to be a full day and Jonathan asked me if I wanted him to take a day off.  Yes, yes, please take the day off.   It was the first day of co-op and the first knitting class I was teaching.  Twelve kids waiting for me to teach them how to knit.  The enormity of it made me nervous.  Amelia told me over and over that I knew enough to teach these kids the basics of knitting but I thought about someone asking me some tough question about yarn and my knees started shaking.

It all went very well thankfully.  And the the kids got to see friends and I got to see friends.

When I got home from soccer practice that evening, they had made me lentil soup for dinner and cheesecake.  As birthdays go, it was perfect.

Then they pulled out this!

Life is good.  I never thought I would have one of these and I love it.  I've balled up all of my yarn in the stash and it looks so pretty and I feel inspired.

The next day I went to lunch with my mom and aunt and right when we were paying, Eli hit his lip on the back of a chair and split his lip up.  You know the first thing that came to my mind was, I just really didn't want to do this today.  I really wanted to rewind time just a few minutes and start fresh.

We spent the next 3 hours at the hospital waiting for the doctor to see us.  Eli asked a lot of questions while we were waiting of course.  He wanted to know what all the monitors were for and what the signs said.  "That one says no cell phones or food in the room".  Thank goodness I brought my knitting.  I asked Eli, "Can I do a row or two while we wait?"

"Sure, mom, there's not a 'no knitting' sign in here."  I love little kid humor.

After much foot rubbing and convincing Eli that if he didn't jump around while the doctor was stitching him up, it would be over much (much) quicker.  I even resorted to bribing with Legos.  Finally it was over and I was really exhausted.

But, that was so yesterday.  Moving on.

I'm going to clean up the flower bed in the front yard today.  I'm planning on putting in a bunch of herbs.

Then, I'm going to take a nap.

quality time with the kids

So, I have something in my bag of tricks I use for emergences.  I'm not talking about a true emergency but sometimes my small ones can perceive an unkind word from a sibling or a skinned knee as such.  I get it.

I couldn't think of anything better in these types of situations than a good, old-fashioned foot rub.

A while back when my kids were little I loved breastfeeding.  If they were upset or tired or hurt I  could put them on my breast and the the troubles of the world would melt away.  It was my savior most days.  Then when my last one decided to wean himself, I felt like my mama magic was gone.

My kids ask for a foot massages now and sometimes, when life is just too much, I bring them to a sunny, quiet spot in the house and rub their feet while we talk through the problem.  Or sometimes I rub their feet, and legs and knees while they cry.

Usually, I like to be fair and rub everyone's feet.  Sometimes, it's just a special thing for one of them.  Sometimes it's before bed or after a long day.  Sometimes it's mama that's lucky enough to get a foot massage too. 

The other day, Eli asked for a foot massage not because there was anything particularly wrong but because he's come to like that connection between us.  I like it too.  It grounds me and makes me present. It also made me realize the other day that by asking me to rub his feet (and legs and knees!) that he is learning how to cope with life's stresses in a healthy way and in turn filling up his own bag of tricks. I love that.

I would love to hear what you have in your bag of tricks to sooth your kids when they're upset.

personalities

These personalities of mine.  I find great joy in watching my children unfold into their own uniqueness.  My boys could not be more different.  Eli has brown eyes and blondish hair. He tells me when he grows up he wants to live in the city and drive a monster truck with flames painted on it.  He is extremely confident and he gets very hurt if his sister gets mad at him.

Solomon is my sweet boy, always opening doors for us.  He has deep blue eyes, freckles and thick, strawberry blond hair that I can't stop from rubbing my hands through.  He's shy but warms up and can be very silly.  He loves giving out kisses and will be the first to hug someone or give them a sweet look or smile.

I like to take my kids either one at a time or two at a time, doing something special or sometimes just ordinary things like shopping on the weekends.  I always get more out of my time with them if we're on a "date."  This particular day Amelia was at a friend's house working on a project so I took the boys for a walk.

Solomon likes me to take pictures of him while climbing on rocks.  None of my other kids do this.  Here, he put this dried plant on his head and posed several times very serious like.  He's so funny.

Eli asks questions.  My two other kids asked lots of questions when they were five but I  don't remember them being so persistent.  His favorite phrase is, "Right mom?"  The boy is an expert at asking questions.  Of course I try to answer them all but sometimes I glaze over.

Eli found this rock and ran after me screaming, "I found gold, I found gold!!!!!!"  "Right mom?"  I had to break it to him that it was a very pretty rock but not gold.  "Is is a diamond?"  No, it's not a diamond, I tell him.  It's a rock......daddy will know what it is (ha, poor dad).  "Then is it pure gold?"  This conversation continued all the way home.  Then, he dropped it somewhere in the car.

lovin' the snow

It's what everyone talks about around here. This winter has been so dry that all I dream about is waking to a bunch of snow. Well, this morning we woke to 3 inches of fluffy white. I was pretty stoked about it. Of course, Wednesdays are the busiest day of the week. So, when the kids got out of bed, they suited up and headed out into the backyard for a few runs before we had to rush out the door.  We are lucky enough to have a small hill for sledding. Just big enough for small thrills.

Now, I'm just praying that we get a bunch more snow before spring.

Hello 2012, It's Me

If you're reading this, you've also made it through the holidays.  (Insert the deep breath here).   I feel like this time of year I'm teetering on the edge, ready to fly.  Sometimes it feels like I'm coming out of a dream into the light.  The new year always holds so many possibilities for me.  It's as if I can start fresh about the way I think of myself and the world.  Nothing can stop me from doing the things I want to do.  No self doubt.  No boundaries.

The kids wanted to roast marshmallows in the backyard last night.  As we stood around the warmth, we talked about what we wanted for 2012.  Jonathan wants to go on a road trip to see Bryce Canyon.  I want to get the kiln we've had in our garage working.

Other than the things we want to do, I think about what I want for myself personally.  I hope this year I can love everything about myself more fully.  The good and bad. I want to live simpler, purging all the old things that don't serve me well.  I would like to continue to be with people that are uplifting and positive and open to becoming better versions of themselves.

I want to bake more.  The banana bread aroma coming from the oven right now is heavenly.  

Wishing you all a wonderful year in 2012.  May we all become a bit wiser in the coming year and enjoy every moment as much as humanly possible! 

bAckPAckinG!

Last week we were up in the mountains, backpacking, enjoying the summer and being together.  This place is pretty heavenly.

We started out by taking a water taxi from Echo Lake and then backpacking up 800 feet to Lake Aloha, a remote alpine lake.  All the kids and dog had their own packs and it was a pretty happy trip up there.  We set up camp near the lake where we could climb the granite boulders and swim in the shallow, clear water. 

What were the best parts of this trip?

Being together.  I know it sounds cheesy but it feels good to leave the world behind and be together.

Throwing our daily routine at home goodbye.  Saying hello to backpacking rhythm.  Waking up, eating breakfast, doing dishes, swimming, climbing rocks, filtering water, eating lunch, doing dishes, cleaning up camp, eating, filtering water, making hot cocoa and tea, swimming, hanging up the bear bags in the trees, going to bed and waking up to do it all again.

I don't really like sleepless nights which happens inevitably but the first night I got up and just took in the night sky which is so much better in the mountains. 

I like living on the wild side.  Hanging up our food in the trees so that the bears can't get to it makes the trip just a bit risky!

Skipping rocks, throwing rocks, climbing rocks and camping on rocks.

Being outside my comfort zone.  I'm not a fan of deep water.  The second day Amelia encouraged me to go "island hopping" with her.  Lake Aloha is shallow and filled with rock islands.  Some parts of the lake are deep though . We swam from rock to rock together and  I'm glad we did it.

I enjoyed carrying that heavy pack.  Going down the mountain on the way back made me realize what an accomplishment this was for our family, physically and mentally.

Amelia made us a lemon cake for dessert the second night.  We all sang happy birthday to Jon's dad, whose birthday would have been on the 22nd.

Watching our dog really enjoy himself.  At times we couldn't find him and we'd look up to see him all the way up the snowbank on the mountain.  He was a tired doggy by the end of the trip.

I loved waking up before the sun to enjoy the views.  Very rarely do we really get up early and enjoy the beauty of a sunrise.

being outside

 

 

 

I am trying to be outside as much as possible.  It's so easy for me to fall into a routine of staying home and "getting things done".  The kids need to be outside and I do too.

Last week I started feeling dizzy and my heart was racing.  It was a terrible feeling but I told myself that it would pass.  By the weekend I felt so weak and drained that I decided to call the doctor on Monday.  After some tests the doctor found that my thyroid medicine was too much for me (which is what I suspected) and we lowered my dose.  I felt better.  Things are well.

But it was pretty stressful and on this beautiful walk in the desert over that weekend, it was all I could do to take step after step up that mountain.  It was so enormous up there.  We were on the top of the world and all I could do was cry.  I don't like it when I get this way but it happens sometimes.  What really brought me out of it was being up there.  Just being outdoors away from town, away from technology and my laundry pile.

I've realized that I just need my dose of nature every week, every day.  Being in my garden isn't good enough.

We went up to the lake last week, just the kids and I.  We brought our snacks and just a few other things and set ourselves down on the beach.  The water is really high this year because of the amount of snow we got.   It's so insanely gorgeous up there.  But, I'm a little biased.

It took me a while to really relax.  Isn't it true?  We don't realize how stressed we can get until we get to somewhere in nature.  Then we can start to breathe again.  I remember that moment I started breathing again.  Amelia and I were in the water hugging each other, smiling and talking.  I looked out into the sparkly, afternoon water and just felt a gazillion times better.  It was a good day.  Now, I'm headed off for a hike somewhere.  I don't know where just yet but I'll figure it out when I hop in the car.

Peace!