5 Myths About Domestic Violence: Rihanna and Chris Brown

Thanks for the heads up Feministing. A couple weeks ago, R&B pop star Chris Brown choked, bit and beat his girlfriend, R&B pop star Rihanna to the point of filling her mouth with her own blood. Shocking photos of her battered face have circulated the world. (i figure you don't need to see it here).Well intentioned people are stepping up to rightfully denounce this behavior. And Newsweek just floored me with a really insightful article about the myths that a lot of us are perpetuating while trying to "use this case as something the educate kids with". Chris Brown carries/carried a lot of cool cred with kids, so it is definitely important to be clear to them that this is a toxic, unacceptable expression of masculinity. Also being clear about our inherent sexism while discussing this is also very important.

Here is an excerpt of myth number 1:

Myth No. 1: It was a domestic argument, and she provoked him
We need to remember that any discussion of domestic violence should not revolve around what the couple may have been arguing about, or as one CNN anchor put it: "the incident that sparked the fight." Nor should we be using the word "provoked" when describing this case, as in the Associated Press account that said the "argument" was "provoked" by Rihanna's "discovery of a text message from another woman." Domestic violence has to do with, well, physical violence, not arguments. There isn't a verbal argument that should "spark" or "provoke" an attack of the kind that leaves one person with wounds that require medical attention.

And an excerpt of myth number 3:

Myth No. 3: People make mistakes. Give the guy a break
When singer Kanye West talked about the Rihanna-Brown case with his VH1 audience recently, he asked: "Can't we give Chris a break? ... I know I make mistakes in life." Kanye's not the only one saying this kind of thing, so let's get something straight: People leave the oven on or fry turkeys in the garage and burn their house down. One may even accidentally step on the gas instead of the brake and run over the family cat. Mistakes resulting in tragic consequences happen all the time. But one cannot mistakenly beat someone up. You do not accidentally give someone black eyes, a broken nose and a split lip.

Kanye?!? C'mon now. I'm almost more disappointed in him than Chris Brown.

Newsweek however, stealthly extorts kudos from my unsuspecting person. Props.

National Organization for Men Against Sexism's 33rd Annual Conference - Call For Proposals

CALL FOR PROPOSALS!

On August 21-23, 2008 the National Organization for Men Against Sexism will hold its 33rd annual conference "Addressing Violence in Our Homes and in Our Communities" and the 20th annual Men's Studies Association Meeting at the University of Utah. This conference will be hosted by South Valley Sanctuary, a domestic violence shelter in West Jordan, Utah, and is co-sponsored by the University of Utah's Women's Resource Center, the Utah Pride Center, the Rape Recovery Center, Up the River Endeavors, the Inclusion Center (formerly NCCJ), the University of Utah's Interpersonal Violence Research Group, and the Salt Lake Area Domestic Violence Coalition.

NOMAS is now inviting and accepting workshop, panel, and presentation proposals that address all aspects of community violence and resiliency, and/or explore current advances in the field of men's studies and examines diverse ways in which the lives of men and women might be enhanced through an exploration of gender identity, roles and social justice. All proposals will be considered; however, we are particularly looking for proposals that address the following topics: Domestic Violence in the LGBT community, Men's Role in Domestic Violence Work, Anti-Racist, anti-sexist community organizing models, Domestic Violence and Addiction/Substance Use, Immigration Laws and Protecting/Empowering Undocumented Survivors, Co-Option of Shelter Services/Dilemmas/Challenges in Domestic Violence Shelters, Multicultural Feminist Counseling Models, Working with Youth Exposed to Violence, Women and Poverty, Cultural Competency Models for working with/sheltering traumatized individuals. Workshops will last for one hour and 45 minutes.

Please submit proposals that include: 1) brief title; 2) presenter(s) name(s); 3) 25-word bio(s); 4) 70-word description; 5) a/v equipment or any special considerations. Please e-mail submissions to heatherm@southvalleysanctuary.com; deadline is June 15, 2008.

*The National Organization for Men Against Sexism is an activist organization of men and women supporting positive changes for men. NOMAS advocates a perspective that is pro-feminist, gay affirmative, anti-racist, dedicated to enhancing men's lives, and committed to justice on a broad range of social issues including class, age, religion, and physical abilities. We affirm that working to make this nation's ideals of equality substantive is the finest expression of what it means to be men. For more information, please visit www.nomas.org.

Regards,

Heather Masterton, M.A.

Executive Director

South Valley Sanctuary

http://www.southvalleysanctuary.com

t801.255.1095

f801.255.7319