A Link Divided

multiplex
Movie|Line suggests that Lindsay Lohan stay in France. International diplomacy is admittedly not their strong suit
The Onion Ridley Scott and Tim Burton switch action figures. 'No tradebacks!' (this article is a couple weeks old but if you haven't read it, experience the hilarity)


The Big Picture questions the hypocrisy of dissing Shia Labeouf for dissing Steven Spielberg. Good piece. There's too many "yes people" in Hollywood and Crystal Skull stank.
The Hot Blog Poland waxes philosophical about revivals of genres, musicals, and cartoons
A Socialite's Life I wouldn't normally link to a Robert Pattison on set! thing (who cares?) but in truth I have read this book they're making into a movie Water For Elephants. The whole time I was reading it -- even though it wasn't great or anything -- I kept thinking 'this should be a movie.'NatashaVC an evocative Harvey Keitel story
I Need My Fix on the Demi Moore ♥ Ashton Kutcher romance. In truth they're one of my fav Hollywood couples, too

arthouse
In Contention Guy Lodge on Cannes winding down
Vulture The Fug Girls uncover and display the 10 loopiest outfits at Cannes. Their quote on Kate Beckinsale who isn't wearing anything crazy in the picture is lol

...tends to prefer either short prom dresses or really long prom dresses; ergo, for her, this is practically Gaga City.

Scanners With Jean Luc Godard's Socialisme premiering, Jim Emerson neatly summarizes the critical conversations about Godard over the past... entire career
David Germain on Sony Pictures Classics at Cannes and with Oscar
YouTube Have you seen this "Chlöe Sevigny" dragster yet? Funny. Love the coyness when dropping Tilda's name

great white way
Just Jared Paul Reubens still in process of bringing Pee Wee Herman back. Yay.

the page
Cooley! "Inappropriate Golden Age Book: Movies R Fun" [via]

the boob tube
Antenna an interesting piece on the Joss Whedon episode of Glee just past, which gives answer to the question i had while watching it: this doesn't feel like recent episodes. Why?

in the life
The Onion "New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It Let Someone Else Report On This Bullshit."

Halfway House: The Failed Completist

halfway through the day, we freeze a movie halfway through

Confession time: I still have not seen Personal Effects, Michelle Pfeiffer's second recent straight-to-DVD mishap, the other being I Could Never Be Your Woman (see previous post). In both films the goddess has a relationship with a much younger man.

55 minutes into the movie, Pfeiffer hits on an unresponsive near
silent Ashton Kutcher. What's wrong with him?

As one of the web's most notorious pfans, you'd think I'd be more of a completist. But I am so scared to watch it. I don't know why. It's not like I've never seen her in a disposable movie before. For all I know it's good (I scanned to the middle... having still not overcome my fear). Aside from this picture, I have only a few gaps in my Pfandom. I haven't seen any of her TV work prior to moving permanently to featuers in the early 80s and I have never been able to find her third feature film Charlie Chan and the Curse of the Dragon Queen. Other than that I've seen it all.

This failing completist urge got me to thinking: How often do any of us see the complete works of a given actor or actress? The closest I've come is Julianne Moore. I've seen her one Broadway role, I've seen her short film Not I (previous post) and I've seen each and every one of her films (and believe me that was a sacrifice on my part. Just sayin') ...except two: her cameo in The Ladies Man and her straight-to-DVD film Marie and Bruce. There's always something.

Is there any actor you've seen literally everything of? If you missed this "completist" impulse, you should probably be grateful.

New Releases + Hitchcock

I'm talking about Alfred Hitchcock's birthday and this week's new releases in my column at Towleroad. The obvious highlights from the newbies are Ponyo (sight unseen but it's Miyazaki so we're fine) and District 9, which I have seen. Katey and I will have a vodcast up soon to discuss the very bloody but very exciting alien action flick. But for now, the column

There's quite a variety of new product at the multiplexes. Let's start with the romantic drama, The Time Traveler's Wife in which Eric Bana keeps disappearing and reappearing in Rachel McAdams life. Wait, is he playing Ryan Gosling?!? This vanishing / reappearing act is probably a great metaphor of some sort for romance, though I haven't read the bestseller so I've no idea if the concept is executed well. The faithful are angry that they've changed it to something sunnier. Hollywood is so terrified of sad endings, even in tearjerkers which are supposed to make you cry.

read the rest at Towleroad

Whither Personal Effects?

Remember when everyone was surprised that Michelle Pfeiffer, the Michelle Pfeiffer, made a movie that went straight to DVD? The movie was I Could Never Be Your Woman. Generally 8 figure salaried movie stars are guaranteed theatrical release, even if it's only a lousy week on a tiny screen to meet contractual obligations. Straight to DVD tends to be more of a career bogeyman for the C list or the 'never quite A list and can't say 'no' ' type players.

But despite the improbability of doubled DVD disaster, could it be happening again? Personal Effects, a drama she recently made costarring Ashton Kutcher and helmed by novice feature director David Hollander has no US release date as of yet and no US distributor listed on IMBD. Plus, it's already advertised for a February DVD release in Germany. What the hell is going on?

It's impossible to know, prior to signing on the dotted line, if a movie in its eventual finished form will be a piece of crap or a masterpiece (or any gradation between) but one does begin to wonder why Pfeiffer, resurgent after a long hiatus with Hairspray, Stardust and the upcoming Cheri, agreed to star in another picture with an untested feature director and questionable distribution prospects. Especially since she doesn't work that often to begin with. Now, Hollander might be a find (who knows? we haven't seen the film) and if no stars took chances on novice talent the cinema would be a much poorer place --and if Pfeiffer never did she wouldn't have the Fabulous crown jewel of her filmography -- but I'm a pfan. I can't help but worry. I can't help but worry a lot.

To borrow from Rachel Maddow... "Talk Me Down" in the comments.
*

Say What? (Pfeiffer No-No)

I asked you to amuse us by adding dialogue or a caption to a photo in the comments. This was snapped from the set of Pfeiffer's next film Personal Effects which co-stars Ashton Kutcher. I've reworked the winning entry, from Luke, into a poster. Here ya go...


Thanks to everyone for playing.

20:07 (Take the Pfeiffer Bowling. Take Her Bowling)

screenshots from the 20th minute and 7th second of a movie
I can't guarantee the same results at home (different players/timing) I use a VLC

When I put Grease 2 into the computer I was hoping against hope that "Cool Rider", the movie's sole moment of gourmet kitsch would be @ the 20 minute mark. But alas like Michelle Pfeiffer's career, Grease 2 refuses to cooperate with my wishes. So instead we get Adrian Zmed's rather desperate Travolta-proxy. He's singing about scoring here but the movie throws one gutterball after another.

C'mon everybody gather round
And I'm going to show you how to knock 'em down
When I'm on the ball I'm the number one
And I'm going to show you how it's done.

Regardless, it's fun to watch in the way many bad movies are. Aside from "Cool Rider" I get a huge kick out of the imagined mimesis of Pfeiffer's Stephanie. It's as if she's showing us that it's OK to be completely over this movie even if you're in it! Notice that in the still above she's the only one looking away from the action. Stephanie Zinone, fond of the eyeroll, sideways glance, dark sunglasses and gum-chomping, is over it. In Pfeiffer's first leading role 25 years ago (!) she's already too good for her own movies, too cool for school.


I wish that Grease 2 wasn't such an unwitting Cassandra but this qualitative contrast happens over and over again in the star's filmography and shows no signs of abating. Most of the time I am content to thank the cinematic gods that Pfeiffer exists but sometimes I am an ungrateful disciple. Today is one of those days. By most measures (if you ignore the never- going-to-be-released I Could Never Be Your Woman) Pfeiffer's '07 comeback was a blazing success: Hairspray is her third biggest hit ever (following Batman Returns and What Lies Beneath) and she got numerous "best in show" reviews for Stardust. Though Pfeiffer herself expresses no interest in winning an Oscar, her fans deserve to see her with one and her talent warrants it. Now would've been an ideal time to strike out with a prestige dramatic project with an A list director. So why, pray tell, is La Pfeiffer going to make a movie with an unproven director and studio that co-stars Ashton Kutcher [src and src] just as people are rediscovering her? I'm beginning to think that Pfeiffer has career dysmorphia: perhaps she looks in the mirror and sees a Bullock when she's actually a Streep, you know?

I've followed her career closely and you rarely read anything about her being difficult to work with so where are the directors as talented in their fields as Pfeiffer is in hers? Where are the great films? The last time she worked with an "important" director was in the early nineties with back to back Martin Scorsese (Age of Innocence) and Mike Nichols (Wolf) projects. I can't wrap my head around her decision-making since then. A drama with Ashton Kutcher? Unless Michelle Pfeiffer is playing Demi Moore (hee. wouldn't that be a hoot? Give her an Oscar for the mimicry!) ...what's the point?

Ashton's dream project: Indecent Proposal 2: MILF Addiction

But we should stay optimistic. Perhaps this proposed Personal Effects movie will score, marking a new writer/director to watch. Hell, even if it's a gutterball, Pfeiffer herself will still throw a spare.

Blogosphere Multiplex: Seth @ Defamer

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Tuesday Top Ten: Celebrity Couples

new series. for the list maker in me and the list lover in you

Tomorrow is a special day that'll either warm your heart & bed or make you feel like absolute loveless crap or maybe a sick combo of both. So I thought we'd celebrate with celebrity couplings -- they create that exact same twisted effect. Here are my favorite still-together-at-this-writing star couples (starples?). I dedicate this list to Liz & Dick, the all time most audience friendly / tabloid feeding superstar romance and Ellen & 'Celestia', a nod to all those short-lived pairings that end spectacularly.

10 Favorite Celebrity Couples

10. Seal & Heidi Klum
Because they keep making babies.

09. Posh & Becks
The only reason they didn't place higher is their gobsmacking shamelessness. You know that these fame whores desperately want to top all such lists. You have to dock points for desperation even if the subjects are so otherwise excellent at being famous. And look around you: Tons of celebrities are really bad at it and should be replaced immediately.

08. Simon Doonan & Jonathan Adler
I had to have a gay couple on here and even if Lance & Reichen were still together there was no way in hell was I putting them on a list. Those two had the fame desperation of Posh & Becks without the unarguable cool factor...so: just desperation. In their place let's all celebrate the impossibly powerful combo of tastemakers Doonan and Adler who, in lieu of Dolce & Gabbana's romantic demise, are now the most powerful gay aesthetic force in the known universe.

07. Madonna & Guy Ritchie
Once upon a time Guy and Madonna did cute paparazzi friendly things like showing up to events with each others t-shirts on. It's been amusing to watch Guy recede grumpily from her limelight while Madonna is still willing to bend over in a leotard. One imagines that and he probably didn't want to be wearing that t-shirt in the first place. His Tony Ward accessory of phase didn't last very long, did it?

06. Scarlett Johansson & whomever
Admit it. You don't care who the guy is either. So long as she's canoodling...
Related posts: Scarlett Johansson week

05. Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher
Rare are the Hollywood starples who can defeat our cynical immediate reaction to their couplage. Nobody's paying attention anymore and they're still together = This must be true love. Points for that. Plus: pretty + pretty = very very pretty.

04. Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdams
Serious actors. Movie stars. Happy couple. Private enough that we'll probably never get sick of them. (See also: #3)
Related Posts: Best Actor Oscar Race

03. Paul Newman & Joanne Woodward
The gold standard. He's one of the greatest movie stars of all time. She's a formidable actress. When some celebrity couples work together it's disastrous. When they work together it's quite terrific. Next year they'll celebrity their 50th wedding anniversary. Raise a glass.

02. Brangelina
Recent wax sculpture public appearances aside, the two most beautiful people on the planet are still together, thus making the world a better place.
Sign they'll break up: Both haven't had much staying power in the past.
Sign they'll stay together: Angelina has yet to star in a Melissa Etheridge video.
Related Post: A History of...Angelina Jolie

01. Warren Beatty & Annette Bening
The recent Golden Globe tribute to Warren Beatty was, I'll be the first to admit, quite painful. But let's blame that on the ever boring and inappropriate Tom Hanks instead. Only Sacha Baron Cohen successfully pulled off genitalia jokes that night. Nevertheless, Warren Beatty was and always will be one of the greats. The Bening is of course The Bening. I love them both separately. Together one imagines that they could tear the social fabric of Hollywood asunder should it displease them or rattle their aged intractable stardom. One imagines that it is only through their grace and patience that Hilary Swank has not (to date) been torn limb from limb. Beatty was already Hollywood royalty when he met Annette on Bugsy. She married in. But who else but The Bening carries themselves with so much 'to the manor born' entitlement? Love them. Fear them. Know that should they ever allow their full star wattage to shine, you would burst into flames at the very sight of it.
Related Posts: Annette Bening, guest blogger

Did I neglect your favorite celebrity couple? Speak up in the comments.

Previous Tuesday Top Tens:
Horseplay from Equus to National Velvet
Christian Bale from Newsies to American Psycho
Oscar Nominations Talking Points
Alexander(s) The Great
Best 2006 Movies from The Departed (sure) to Marie Antoinette (you heard me)
Movies by Three Amigos Best of Cuarón, González Iñárritu & Del Toro

Tags: Annette Bening, Warren Beatty, Madonna, Scarlett Johansson,Heidi Klum, David Beckham,Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, valentines day,movies, love, celebrity, fame, cinema, film