Prime Time: Dracula (2025)

I have seen worse films than this. I've also seen films that seemed more pointless. I just can't think of too many of them right now. Dracula AKA Dracula: A Love Tale, as it was titled when writer-director Luc Besson was trying to pretend that this wasn't just a pale imitation of Francis Ford Coppola's movie, is a disappointing mess for all involved. I'll mention them all individually very soon.

The story is one that everyone should be familiar with by now, to a certain degree. There's a deadly and sometimes charming vampire (Caleb Landry Jones), there's a woman who bears more than a striking resemblance to the past love that he thought was gone forever (Zoë Bleu), and there's a priest who knows about the vampire menace and knows how best to deal with them (Christoph Waltz). There are a few other characters allowed to take up some screentime here, none of them very interesting, you get some unnecessarily lively gargoyles, and there's a sequence at the end that helps to lift it above some other, even worse, films making use of the Dracula name, but only just. And it's just too little too late.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I first heard that Besson was giving us his version of the classic vampire tale, but I certainly didn't think it was going to be as dull as this. Although he has moved far away from the peak of his career (you could argue over a few different titles, but probably wouldn't argue that his best work was at least a few decades ago now), Besson remains someone I think of as stylish and willing to take some risks. Dracula has one or two decent visuals, but is mainly quite dull. It's also disappointingly risk-free. I would have much preferred to see something bold that would divide audiences, but instead we get something so safe and tame that it barely feels like a Dracula film. It certainly lacks . . . well, you know how this sentence should end.

Jones is an interesting choice for the lead role, and he tries his best to showcase his talent, but he's rarely given anything truly worthy of him. I could say something very similar about Waltz, and Bleu is just an utter bore for most of her screentime. Nobody decides to throw a curveball here, there are no big performances, and it's clear that Besson wrote the screenplay with his focus on a couple of half-decent ideas ahead of any proper characterisations. Despite the variety of the main character roles, nobody has a distinct voice. 

One scene saves it, one that moves from some enjoyable action to a provocative and philosophical conversation about good and evil, and what is done by people in the name of god. Unfortunately, that's about five minutes, give or take, in a film with a 129-minute runtime. I'll have forgotten it all in a day or two, and I suspect many other people will feel the same way about it. Even those involved in making it.

3/10

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Mubi Monday: Harvest (2024)

While this is titled Harvest, it could have just as easily been titled Ye Reap What Ye Sow. And I think that may tell you all you need to know about this dark drama.

Caleb Landry Jones plays Walter Thirsk, a member of a small community living under the rule of Master Kent (Harry Melling). The members of the community tend to generally keep themselves in the good graces of Master Kent, outsiders and transgressors are dealt with swiftly, and fairly, and there's a sense of finely-balanced harmony. Change is on the horizon though, which will come in the shape of Master Jordan (Frank Dillane).

Based on a book by Jim Crace, and I suspect it may work far better in book form than on the screen, this has been turned into a screenplay by Joslyn Barnes and director Athina Rachel Tsangari. Details are kept vague (there doesn't seem to be too many obvious markers for the time and location), but plenty of time is given to various interactions that show the changing state of the community, especially when it becomes clear that the place will not be a safe haven for everyone for much longer. It's interesting and thought-provoking enough, but ultimately undone by an excessive 133-minute runtime. I understand that this is a movie wanting people to hear the breathing of characters, to feel the mud and the sweat, to etsablish that symbiotic relationship between the workers and the land, but that can be done in a more bearable runtime.

Jones does well in the main role, and also does well with a Scottish accent. He's very ably supported by Melling, Dillane, and the likes of Rosy McEwen, Thalissa Teizeira, and Arinzé Kene (the latter two involved in the most memorable scene in the film). The cast are all very much up to the task assigned to them. It's just a shame that the task isn't better. Nobody feels pushed too far, and there are darker elements far too often hinted at without being overtly confirmed.

Maybe the fault doesn't lie with the film itself though. Maybe it's my own displeasure with the quickening regression and growing wealth disparity I am seeing every day. Harvest is a reminder that the attitudes we can observe now (the misjudged belief that someone having money automatically makes them better, the ways in which people fail to believe in their own power as they do their utmost to serve others for the sake of small breadcrumbs shaken off fine tablecloths) are attitudes that have been ingrained in large sections of the population because of historical injustices and unfair abuses of power.

I wanted to like Harvest, but I was probably hoping for something that didn't so closely parallel the here and now. That's on me. The film being overlong and not daring enough, however, is on Tsangari. It's a step back from her last film, the very good Chevalier, but she's still very much someone worth taking a chance on whenever she puts something out there.

6/10

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The Dead Don't Die (2019)

Well, for better or worse, The Dead Don't Die is a zombie comedy from the wonderfully quirky Jim Jarmusch. There's a superb cast, a whole lot of potential, and, well, that's all it ends up having. I had heard a lot of the negative talk about it, it seems very hard to find any reviews that are actually positive, but I still held out hope that it would work for me. It didn't.

The plot is simple. A small town police department finds that they face a unique problem when the dead start rising. It could be worse though, maybe. Chief Cliff Robertson (Bill Murray) may not know what is going on, but Officer Ronnie Peterson (Adam Driver) seems to immediately recognise the beginnings of a potential zombie apocalypse. Officer Mindy Morrison (Chloë Sevigny) tries to follow the lead of her colleagues, while local mortician Zelda Winston (Tilda Swinton) catches on very quickly, and is handy with a sharp sword.

Very odd, but not in the right ways, The Dead Don't Die is even more disappointing as the Jarmusch take on the zombie film following on so soon after the Jarmusch take on the vampire film (the super Only Lovers Left Alive). Unlike that film, which managed to provide a fresh spin on vampires while also utilising so many familiar beats, The Dead Don't Die sees Jarmusch delivering a zombie film that shows him very disinterested in the actual zombies. There are some fun scenes, intermittently, with the shambling undead acting on whatever main purpose they had in life, and a few wonderful little meta moments, mostly delivered by Driver, but the overall feeling is one of carelessness and laziness.

The cast works though, even if they're not given material worthy of their talents, and at least Jarmusch got everyone together to at least attempt to live up to the advertising line of "the greatest zombie cast ever disassembled". Murray and Driver work very well together, both deadpan and dry in different ways, and Sevigny works well alongside them, despite being given very little to do. Swinton is very amusing, Caleb Landry Jones is a horror movie fan who also ends up realising early on what is happening, and you also have fun little turns from Danny Glover, Steve Buscemi, Selena Gomez, Carol Kane, and Tom Waits.

There's no denying that it's a bad film though. I tried to be charitable, and I HAVE, but it's hard to think about this after the end credits have rolled and not feel more and more disappointed with the final result. I think it would be unfair to ever expect anything more standard from Jarmusch, that's not really his style, but it would have been nice to have something that just decided to cut loose and go wild, either providing a lot more zombie activity throughout or just leaning so much more into the meta madness.

The dead may not die, but your sense of enjoyment will as this sedately meanders along from start to finish.

3/10

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Mubi Monday: Antiviral (2012)

Directed by Brandon "son of David" Cronenberg, Antiviral is a debut feature that feels very much like something his father would have done back in his early years. There is, however, a lack of the wit and intelligence, and even frame composition, that Cronenberg Senior would have laced throughout, but it's not a bad first full-length film.

Caleb Landry Jones stars as Syd March, a young man who works in a strange, thriving, industry. He sells illnesses to people. Those illnesses are harvested from celebrities and the people wanting to buy them are obsessed fans. To make himself some extra money, Syd smuggles diseases out in his own body, making use of a work device that he has stashed in his home. It's an obviously flawed system, and nobody should be surprised when Syd starts to become more and more unwell.

Cronenberg is working with his own screenplay here, and you can also feel the clear influence from his father in the plotting and main ideas. The illnesses are commodities, but they can also be weaponised, and can lead to those infected with them having strange hallucinatory moments. With Syd a pawn who cannot see the big picture around him, there are many moments here that feel bastardised from Videodrome. It's just that instead of seeking out more extreme content, these people are warped by "celebrity culture" (pun intended).

Jones is very good in the main role, carrying most of the movie even as he grows weaker and looks ready to shuffle off the mortal coil at any moment. There are many other characters who pop up throughout the film but the focus stays on Syd, what he can do for them and how valuable he can be, which allows Jones to stay front and centre at all times, even when he's being given a lot of exposition by Malcolm McDowell. Joe Pingue and James Cade both do well, playing a creator of celebrity foods and a virus "pirate", respectively, and Sarah Gadon portrays one of the most sought-after celebrities on the market.

The look of the film is often, as you would expect, sleek and sterile. If you're going to see blood coughed up then it may as well spatter against a pure white surface, right? But the work environment is juxtaposed against some living conditions that are much less sleek and stylish. They're not exactly squalid but it's easy to see that employees certainly don't get to reap the rewards from the business that the management do.

Although it's a bit of a mess at times, losing focus and building towards an ending that doesn't feel worthy of everything we've gone through, Antiviral shows a lot of promise. Cronenberg can be forgiven, more than most, for being a bit too heavily influenced by his father. And, hey, there are far worse directors out there to be influenced by.

5/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy it here.

American Made (2017)

American Made is a glossy, lively biopic based on the life of Barry Seal, a pilot who ended up helping the CIA, smuggling drugs, and getting himself entangled in the whole Iran-Contra affair. Or so it would seem. Considering the personality involved, the potential for exaggeration and outright untruths, I am not sure of just how much to believe, and how much to take with a large pinch of salt. So, to be on the safe side, I took everything here with a large pinch of salt.

Directed by Doug Liman, reteaming with Tom Cruise after the superb sci-fi action of Edge Of Tomorrow AKA Live Die Repeat, this is a slick, fun, piece of entertainment. It's also something we have seen done many times before, and usually done much better.

The problems start with the script. It feels lazy, a melange of moments and cliches from recent and not-so-recent biopics. and, despite the runtime (this is about the two hour mark), it all feels a bit sparse. Writer Gary Spinelli isn't interested in the actual mechanics of the lifestyle on display, he doesn't even seem that interested in the risk to life and damage to others until it suits the pacing of the film to throw in a small set-piece. No, he just wants to show what amounts to a greatest hits photo album of the life of a man who was surely more complicated than the charming douchebag depicted here.

Speaking of charming douchebags, who the hell gets Tom Cruise for a role like this and then doesn't let him go full tilt with the bags of charm he has at his disposal? His cocky charm has been put to good use over the years in a number of roles that have allowed him to show more than a hint of danger glinting from that ultra-white smile. Rain Man, The Color Of Money, and Magnolia are the three best examples I can think of, taking his confident persona and turning it, even ever so slightly, against him. This film doesn't do that. It may try to, but it doesn't, perhaps because it seems to always depict the version of events as told by Seal, which doesn't allow viewers to consider how much of his claims may have been exaggerated or distorted to reposition himself in a better light.

The rest of the cast do okay with what they're given, although many of the supporting players are a bit wasted. Alice Eve plays "wife who goes along with things", Caleb Landry Jones is "brother who throws spanner in works", and it's only Domhnall Gleeson who gets a chance to make a better impression, playing a CIA operative making use of Seal without ever pretending that he can be dropped like a hot potato whenever things go bad.

Liman hits all of the notes that you expect him to hit. There are no surprises here, apart from the failure of many scenes to rise above average, and nothing to put this anywhere near the level of most of his other films (even Jumper, which nobody else seems to like as much as I do).

In summation, there's a decent soundtrack in search of a better movie to accompany. You can find half a dozen better movies for both the director and the star of this one. It won't ruin your whole day if you give it a watch, but I expect this to be largely forgotten a year from now.

5/10

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Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)

I HOPE that anyone who knows me, even a little bit, knows that I am never a contrarian just for the sake of stirring the pot or getting people into a state of anger. In fact, I try as often as I can to ignore the extreme negatives and positives you can find everywhere on the internet and continue to just form my own opinion about movies, which is the way everyone should do it (then you can have more fun later discussing things with those who agree, and those who don't).

So I didn't make the decision lightly to label the much-loved Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri the worst film directed by either of the McDonagh brothers. You have to remember two things here. First of all, I am one of the few people who really enjoyed War On Everyone. Second, I am not saying this is a terrible film. It's still better than Transformers: The Last Knight, for example. Just not by that much.

The plot revolves around Frances McDormand's character, Mildred. She has been waiting too long to get any justice after her daughter was raped and murdered. So she decides to use three billboards situated on a fairly quiet road to question the work ethic of Sheriff Willoughby (Woody Harrelson). This upsets Willoughby and his staff (particularly the dim and abusive Dixon, played by Sam Rockwell), it upsets Mildred's son (Lucas Hedges), and it starts to turn the town against Mildred as they fail to understand why she would make such a statement.

The performances in this film are, for the most part, pretty great. McDormand does brilliant work, Rockwell is as great as ever, and Harrelson does well (when he isn't delivering lines in voiceover like he's reading the back of a packet of Coco Pops). Caleb Landry Jones is also very good, playing the lad responsible for leasing out the billboard space, Hedges is excellent as the teenage son watching his mother make a stand he doesn't see as being of any use, Peter Dinklage is a lot of fun as someone hoping to take Mildred out on a date, and John Hawkes is an a-grade asshole. The main weakness in the film is Abbie Cornish, who gives what feels like a half-hearted performance, hampered by the fact that she is also given the worst of the dialogue in the film and just seems far too young for her character (she plays the wife of Harrelson's character).

Direction is good enough, with McDonagh really pulling out the stops in a couple of moments that hammer home (almost literally) some of the damage that characters are willing to inflict upon one another, and there's definitely an interesting theme being clumsily explored here, but it's all almost undone by the script, surprisingly enough. While there are gems here, especially in the scenes that have McDormand interacting directly with the local law enforcement, there are also lines that drop in the middle of scenes like anvils looking for a Wile E. Coyote to squash into an accordion shape. And that's just individual lines I am talking about (poor Cornish, I felt genuinely sorry for a couple of the lines that she had to deliver, which could have only been made a bit less cringeworthy if McDonagh had given her any decent characterisation beforehand). As the film starts to develop in the overlong second half, everything starts to become more heavy-handed and also a bit, well, implausible and ridiculous. What began as a small, impactful, drama turns into something that feels unsure of how far it wants to take things, and in what direction it wants to go. Yes, this is in line with the main characters but it doesn't feel deliberate or well thought out. It feels careless, displaced, and even rather immature.

There's enough here to enjoy, and I feel sorry for those trying to dismiss the movie as something it isn't (I can't say any more because of spoilers), and I still encourage people to support the McDonagh brothers ahead of so many other writers and directors who never try to engage and challenge their audience, but this didn't work half as well for me as it seems to have worked for so many others.

6/10

Byzantium (2012)

Director Neil Jordan is no stranger to the vampire movie. He did, quite famously, bring Interview With The Vampire to the big screen, somehow managing to craft a brilliant film despite the death of one of the original cast members (River Phoenix), criticism from author Anne Rice (who eventually recanted when she saw the final result), and ridicule from everyone who thought Tom Cruise incapable of effectively portraying the vampire Lestat. Well, Byzantium may not be quite the achievement that Interview With The Vampire is/was, but it's another very good film from a director who provides viewers with consistently interesting works, barring one or two mis-steps.

Gemma Arterton and Saoirse Ronan are the two young women being a bit vampiric. They seem to be able to walk about in daylight, and don't sleep in coffins or anything, but when it comes time to label their characters . . . . . . . . . vampire is the most suitable title. Struggling to make ends meet and avoid scrutiny from the authorities, the two seem stuck in a vicious cycle, with Arterton's character using sex to make money and help her look after the youngster. But things are complicated by a young man (Caleb Landry Jones) who takes more than a passing interest in Ronan's character. As things build up to a climax, viewers are also told more and more of the main backstory to the characters, a tale that allows Jordan to once again refresh and play with the mythology of vampirism.

Not quite as interesting or thought-provoking as it could be, Byzantium is nevertheless a solid entry into the vampire movie subgenre. Written by Moira Buffini, adapting from her own play (and, admirably, the film never feels stagey at any time), there are some very interesting ideas toyed with, including a theory about vampirism being quite a "men only" club, but not enough time given to any of them.

Jordan does his usual great work as director, but his work here is often downplaying anything that would make the story too pretty or evocative of past horror work. This is the life of a vampire shown in all of its mundanity. Sitting between the fangs-out fun of films such as The Lost Boys, and Vamp, and the grimy, downbeat likes of Martin and The Addiction, Byzantium shows just how boring eternal life can be when it means always having to move along every few years and never being able to get close to anyone.

Arterton and Ronan are both fantastic in the lead roles, with the former really making it easy to believe how men could be won over by her, and the latter doing a great job of being an old head on young shoulders. Caleb Landry Jones overdoes the strangeness of his character, and his accent/mumbling doesn't help, but there are better supporting turns from Daniel Mays, as a very sweet man who becomes smitten, Sam Riley, Uri Gavriel, Tom Hollander, Maria Doyle Kennedy, and Jonny Lee Miller, having great fun as a complete bastard.

Although this is the weakest of the recent crop of vampire movies from the past few years (fans of fangs will most certainly want to check out We Are The Night and Kiss Of The Damned), it's still well worth a watch thanks to most of the main performances, a few great visual moments, and a thoughtful script.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Byzantium-Blu-ray-Gemma-Arterton/dp/B00BJ0RLMK/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1390686045&sr=1-1&keywords=byzantium+blu