Guest House Paradiso (1999)

AKA We All Know That It's Really Bottom: The Movie.

Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson star as Richard and Eddie, a couple of absolutely deranged individuals who are somehow running what is clearly the worst hotel in the UK. Richard is rude to many of the guests, although always has time for the long-term resident Mrs. Foxfur (Fenella Fielding), but he also just wants plenty of spare time to perv on any females that he hopes to see naked. His heart soars when the hotel is visited by Gina Carbonara (Hélène Mahieu), a gorgeous woman who is wanting to stay hidden away from her callous and abusive husband (Gino Bolognese, played by Vincent Cassel).

I was really disappointed when I first watched Guest House Paradiso. I somehow thought that Edmondson and Mayall would find a way to translate their characters into something that would retain the essence of their comedy while also expanding the size of their onscreen world. Although there are some exterior shots here, Guest House Paradiso largely takes place in the titular hotel. There's a bigger supporting cast, and some impressive practical effects, but the film-makers are more interested in just spending some more time putting our leads through the wringer than in seizing the opportunity to be a bit more cinematic in between people being on the receiving end of some major testicle trauma.

Perhaps that was always to be expected. Edmondson stepped into the director's chair, working from a screenplay co-written by the two leads, and it's understandable that they would want to keep things quite simple and within their comfort zone, especially as this was all being done after the quad bike accident that very nearly killed Mayall, leading to him being hospitalised for quite some time.

Anyway, revisiting the film all these years later, after buying a new physical media release of it, ended up being a very good idea. I still have problems with the film, it's not exactly a misunderstood classic, but it's actually a lot better than I remembered. That's partly to do with a cast full of now-familiar faces who were relative unknowns to me back in the late 1990s, it's partly to do with not having anything around nowadays that has that particular brand of Mayall-Edmondson comedic violence, and it's partly to do with me now appreciating a few more of the gags. And the set-piece that has Mayall running around the hotel in a red and spiky rubber set of underwear is impossible to watch without at least chuckling every time the situation gets worse for him.

While both Mayall and Edmondson can play these characters in their sleep, their commitment to the lunacy is always admirable. I don't know how anyone can keep a straight face while acting opposite them, but both Mahieu and Cassel manage, and both gain brownie points for wholly getting into the spirit of the thing. Cassel is particularly enjoyable as he commits to playing someone so repugnant and awful that both Rich and Eddie seem like a better companion. Which is really saying something. Fielding is delightful, and it's fun to see Bill Nighy, Kate Ashfield, and Simon Pegg cast together in a pre-Shaun feature (although they don't all share the screen at any one time). Lisa Palfrey also suffers some indignities for the sake of the comedy, and Steven O'Donnell is a very weary, angry, and drunken chef.

There's still something that holds this back though, something that stops it from being on a par with the TV show it stems from. I couldn't put my finger on it years ago, but now I know what the problem is. It's all too well-realised. The dirt, the body fluids, the stains . . . they're never as funny when you can almost smell them through the screen. It's a similar problem with the violence. Watching Mayall and Edmondson pretend to hurt one another is all well and good, and still works here, but there are some practical gags (one relating to eye damage and one that puts a fishing hook through the nipple of a sleeping victim) that lose some of the humour because of the painful detail shown. And don't get me started on the excessive amount of vomit filling up the screen during the third act.

You might never want to check in to the Guest House Paradiso, but you should definitely check it out.* It's gross, funny, and gross. But also funny. But very gross.

*IF you're a fan of Mayall and Edmondson.

7/10

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The Old Dark House (1963)

A bizarre, and not entirely successful, collaboration between William Castle and Hammer, The Old Dark House is a remake of the 1932 movie of the same name, but with a number of changes bringing it closer to the likes of Carry On Screaming! or What A Carve Up.

Tom Poston plays Tom Penderel, an American car salesman who is invited by his room-mate (Peter Bull) to join him at his family estate, an old, dark house out in the middle of nowhere. When Tom gets there it seems that someone has raced to get there ahead of him, and that someone is death. Yes, Tom's room-mate has shuffled off the mortal coil by the time he arrives, leaving the poor man stuck amongst quite an odd selection of individuals, all of them making up the Femm family.

As endearing as it is bizarre and clumsy, The Old Dark House is certainly one of the stranger "horror" movies released by Hammer (and, yes, I know that is saying something). Unfortunately, it falls between two stools. I would have liked to see either more of the movie played straight or, at the opposite end, quirk piled upon quirk to create an even stranger atmosphere from start to finish.

Castle directs with his usual taste for the bombastic, and the script by Robert Dillon (based on the novel by J. B. Priestley) works fairly well for the tone of the piece, allowing the cast to roll their eyes and go over the top at every available opportunity while the house creaks and drips and enshrouds them.

As for the cast, Poston is just fine in the lead role, but it would have been fun to see a more talented comedic actor in the role, reacting to the strangeness around him. Robert Morley is as good as ever, but sorely underused as the head of the household, Joyce Grenfell is a delight, Janette Scott is also wonderful, and Fenella Fielding puts in yet another sultry performance. Mervyn Johns and Peter Bull also deserve a mention for their fun turns.

I'd advise most people to visit the original movie first, which is almost always the best advice anyway, but this movie is worth your time. Once.

6/10

http://www.amazon.com/Old-Dark-House-Tom-Poston/dp/B008SGVUN4/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1389125336&sr=1-2&keywords=the+old+dark+house