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Magic

I'm at a magical point in life. I feel blessed to realize this.

I really love having children. I love being a mom.

It's taken me awhile to realize this. I have always loved my children, but sometimes, I get bogged down in the day-to-day child care aspect. Sometimes I just want "to do what I want to do" (to quote Dottie). Sometimes I want to read a book all day long, be able to wake up later than 6:30, or go somewhere, anywhere, by myself.

But lately, I can't get enough of my children. I want to be there for every moment of their lives.

They are so precious.

What has changed me? I've been trying harder. Trying to be more patient, raising my voice less, and listening more. What do my children really want? Do they want to snuggle in bed? I can do that. Do they want to have songs sung to them and pet my hair? (Ruby is taking after Elliot) I can do that too. Do they want to invite friends over and have a girls party? I can do that as well.

Giving more of myself to my children has made me happier. When Jesus said, "But whosever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it," I think he was talking about motherhood. I have "lost" my life, but am finally finding the joy that is possible.

If you haven't had children yet, for whatever reason, stop putting it off. Do it. There is no greater joy.

I am not a perfect parent. I still struggle. But the more I try, the more I love. The more I love, the more I grow. My children are at a special age, and I want to savor every moment.