CHRISTMAS LIST

What's on your Christmas list? Do you have one? Have you even made it out yet? As a kid, I had it figured out. Instead of writing a letter to Santa, I just cut out the pages of the catalogs and marked what I wanted on the pages. Sometimes the envelopes were pretty fat. Sometimes there were only one or two pages, 'cause there was something I wanted really bad.

Once, I sent only one page. It had a mini bike that I really, really wanted in the worse way. I even had it figured out where I was going to ride it, and where it would be kept. (In my room of course!)

I even had figured out how to get gas for it. I was going to collect pop bottles. (That shows how old I am.) I didn't want any new socks or underwear, shirts nor sweaters. Not even new pajamas. All of those were things I got the year before. And, yeah, maybe there were some holes in my socks and underwear and a few of the shirts were a bit small.

BUT, MAN! We were talking about a REAL mini bike. It was red in color, had a banana seat, and a sissy bar, and chrome fenders. I mean, this was a BIG step up from my pedal car of years gone by. And it was way better than the bicycle from the year before. I mean, I could see myself on this thing in my mind's eye. It was meant for me. It was mine. I just knew it.

I told my parents how I would take care of it. I wouldn't ever tear it up or break it. And most important? I would never ask for anything else for Christmas, ever.

My Dad asked if I would share it with my sister. WHAT???!!!! Share it with HER?! The she- devil, my tormentor, the sweet big sister who beat the crap out of me on a regular basis? The one who would set on my chest and let spit run out of her mouth, let it get about a inch from my face, then suck it back up? The sister who hung me on Grandmother and Pappy'ss chain link fence, just that summer, And left me there while she went off with MY allowance of a quarter and got ice cream from the popsicle man?

I thought about it for a long time, before I gave in and said that, yes, I would share it with her.

I was already thinking of things I could do to keep her from riding it: blow up her Barbies, burn the hair off of her troll dolls, or maybe try to get her in trouble with the parents. Maybe grounded for the summer. Or maybe I would get lucky and someone would adopt her out of the family. Maybe she would just run away!

If I got the mini bike, I'm sure that I could come up with something by Spring. Plus, I needed to figure out how to make Santa want to leave a mini bike for me. AH HA! Everyone always leaves Santa milk and cookies. He has got to be tired of that year after year. So I had a plan.

We would leave him some cookies and the glass of milk, but I would wait until everyone was asleep, then I would get up, sneak into the living room, and drink the milk. Then I would go to the fridge and get out a can of beer. I'm sure that Santa would want a beer instead of always having milk! And I could arrange the cans so my Dad wouldn't notice. It was a good plan. I knew it would work.

I had this planed for several weeks. I didn't even tell any of my friends at school. And then it was Christmas eve. Things went pretty good. We ate dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, watched a little TV, and about 10 p.m. we were told to go to bed.

Well, no argument from me! I got ready for bed. We set out Santa's cookies and milk, and off to bed we all went.

At about 3 a.m., I snuck out of bed, made my way to the living room, drank the milk, and went and got a can of beer from the fridge. I put the can right next to the cookies. I then made my way back to my room and tried to go to sleep.

I couldn't.

I tossed and turned. I just knew that Santa was going to leave me that mini bike. At some point, I fell asleep. The next thing I know, my sister was poking me with the twirling baton that she got for her last birthday. It was 6 a.m. Time to see my new mini bike!

My sister and I sneaked into the living room. The tree was lit and I was looking for my mini bike. It was not in front of the tree or on either side, nor behind it. I was thinking, okay, maybe it is out in the garage. We wouldn't want it in the house; it would leak oil on the carpet! So, I decided to be patient and wait, sure that my Dad would surprise me with it later that morning. Then, my sister noticed that the cookies were gone. And I saw that the beer was gone.

Boy, I just about jumped out of my pj's, I was so excited! Santa drank the beer! And I just knew that my mini bike was in the garage. Now we just had to wait for everyone else to get up. 'Course my sister and I helped a little. We made a little noise. Okay. . we made quite a bit of noise. Finally, the parents were up! I was just trying to be cool about the whole thing. We opened gifts, and we made all the ooohs and aaahhhs that go along with opening gifts.

After a few minutes, I couldn't stand it any longer. I was about to open my mouth, and ask the whereabouts of my mini bike, when my Dad smiled real big, and handed me and my sister each a gift. He told us he looked all over town for our gifts.

"What the. . .where is the mini bike," I was thinking! He then told us to open the gifts. Before we started to rip the paper off of these gifts, I finally couldn't take it any more. I shouted out, "WHERE IS THE MINI BIKE ??!!"

Both parents looked at me like I was nuts.

My Dad gave me a funny look and asked, "What mini bike?" I about messed my pants. I'd only been talking about it for, like, EVER!

I was told that I was not old enough for a mini bike. I got upset, the tears started, the runny nose, the whole bit. I must have cried for hours, it seemed. My sister, on the other hand, was as happy as a fox in the hen house. I was still kind of snotin' and blowin,' and she punched me in the arm and laughed.

Well, I got socks, underwear, a sweater, a few pairs of pants, a Man From U.N.C.L.E. toy pistol, and a toy rifle from THRUSH, the bad guys who were always after the guys from U.N.C.L.E. I also got a skate board -- a Roller Derby skate board.

So, it was a pretty good Christmas after all, even though I didn't get what I really wanted.

That's okay. Next year, I didn't want some stupid ol' mini bike. I had just seen a show called "Fire Ball X L Five,"and they had these neat space bikes that fly through the air! Now, I ask ya: what can be cooler than having your own space bike?!!! Just think of all the places you could go! That's what I was going to ask for that next year.

Oh, yeah. . . I found a empty beer can in the trash that morning. My Dad, still to this day, says he didn't drink it.... HHHMMM?

AFTER CHRISTMAS

Well, I do not know about the rest of you, but am I bushed and overfed. And what about all that mess of wrapping paper, boxes, bows, empty battery cartons, ribbons, and such? Who is going to clean up all that stuff? How many toys are already broken or have dead batteries? And, who ate that last bit of fudge that you were saving for yourself?


How was the trip to see grandma or other family members? Did you remember to load up all the gifts before you left the house, or were you one of those who got snowed in and couldn't even get out of the driveway? (Could be lucky in some ways.) Or maybe were you lucky enough to have the whole gang over and this Christmas was the best yet!


Our Christmas was a little on the quite side this year. I didn't get the Christmas lights up on our house this year, which is okay. I did get up our new fake tree and our dog Nugget left it standing this year, though we did have a close call or two when someone would come to the door. I also put up my parents tree at their house in Loveland. Even though our Dad is still in the hospital, he is doing a lot better and may get to go home on Wednesday. They spent Christmas together, and some people who work at the hospital had Christmas dinner made for the folks on their floor. My Dad also has had quite a few doggie visits and they perk him right up.


The rest of the family did their own thing. We had good food more than once, and I fed my face way to much. I smoked a good-sized ham, and it went fast. I can take what's left and make a BIG pot of beans. Our pinto bean fudge is almost gone, with no side effects of gas (for those of you who asked), but my dentist might give me a hard time. And now we wait for New Year's and we will be doing this all over.


Thankfully, we do not have any parties to go to this year. So Kathi and I will stay at home, watch old movies, feed our faces, and avoid all the hassle of being out on the road with all the others. It is safer that way and it will give us some time to be alone and relax from Christmas. I just feel sorry for the trash guy that picks up our trash. I never knew that two people and one dog could make so much mess on Christmas morning. We had all of the pots and pans to get clean in the kitchen, not to mention cleaning up the smoker. But it is worth it and we do enjoy the holidays.

Now, I'm wondering how our dog poop guy is going to feel. Nugget has had all kinds of doggy cookies, tidbits of food, and treats out the wazoo. Not that we spoil him or anything.

I just need to slip into my expando pants and take out the trash. And if I could find my slippers. . .oh, wait! I already have them on. I'm all set. I think I need a extra large zipper on my coat. So bring on the New year!

Merry Christmas!

Ho, ho. . . the more you eat the more you. . .no -- wait -- that's the wrong song.
Jingle bells, Santa smells. . . oh. Wrong song again.

Wishing you all a very merry Christmas, and a happy new year. Be safe and have a great Christmas.

We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas. . . ah -- finally got it right!

CHRISTMAS: 3 days and counting

It's coming up fast. Do you have everything ready? Shopping all done? Packages all sent off in the mail? All packages wrapped? Do you have your Christmas meal all planned out? How about your Christmas tree? Have you kept it watered (if you have a real tree)? Have you checked all the lights for the tenth time to make sure that none are burned out? Are you sure that you have hidden the gifts from the little ones? (My Dad hid some one year, and the next year he found them from the year before!) Do you have all your travel plans in order? Is your auto all ready for that long road trip to Grandma's house?

If you have everything ready and in order --great! How about taking a little time for yourselves, if you can. Send the little ones off to bed a little early. Maybe have a little glass of wine or some hot cider. Maybe set in front of a nice fire, and kick back for a little bit. You have earned it.

Our parents use to say that they had some last minute shopping to do. It took us a year or two to figure that they went to a party. We finally figured that you do not put on your Sunday best to go elbow-to-elbow with all the last minute shoppers. They always came home much happier after those last minute shopping sprees.

'Course, while they were gone, the hunt was on for our gifts. We would listen to Christmas carols and each of us would take a part of the house and search like a mad man. If we found someone else's gift we would let out a holler. Maybe every once in a while we might check for some little corner of the wrapping paper that might not be taped down all that good and sneak a peek to see what it was.

The parents were on to that little trick. One year they bought me a Hot Wheels set and they put it all in a JC Penney sweater box. Boy, was I surprised on Christmas morning! Our folks did fun stuff like that over the years, and just not at Christmas time.

Dad would get up and play with all of us kids and our friends. One year we got a ping pong table for Christmas. Man! We had our friends over. Our Dad would teach everyone how to play. That Christmas, and through the new year, our house was the place to be. If parents were missing their kids, they called our house 'cause nine times out of ten they were at our place.

The ping pong table had other uses. My sisters used it to lay out patterns for dress making after Mom got a sewing machine for Christmas one year.

As Christmas comes on, take some time for yourself and maybe think back to some of the Christmases you have had over the years. Maybe be a little sneaky this year with the gifts. Put some gifts in different boxes. Or maybe wrap up a gift, put it in a bigger box, add some bricks to the bottom of the bigger box. Really makes them wonder. One of my best friends used almost a whole roll of duct tape on a gift for me one year. I thought I'd never get that puppy open! I was just glad that it was something that wouldn't spoil.

So, enjoy the holidays, hang some mistletoe, hug and smile at somebody. It makes them wonder what you're up to. Chug some hot chocolate. Keep warm and safe. Feed your face with good food and we will worry about our diets later. (I have my diet all picked out, just waiting for Santa to bring it to me.) It has beans on the menu. . .

CHRISTMAS CARD: For all of you who read my bog

Well it is Monday, and just five more days 'til Christmas. I want to thank all of you who have been following my blog. I hope that you have found some helpful things and that maybe I have put a smile on your face every now and then. I hope to make some improvements and will add some new stuff along the way. I also want to put up more photos of places and people I know.

So, if you would please go to the link below I will do a little dance for you for Christmas.

Now I can say that I have finished up all my Christmas cards to family, friends, and to all my readers. Again, thank you one and all.

http://www.dancingsantacard.com/?santa=383528

9 DAYS 'TIL CHRISTMAS

So after today we have 9 days 'til Christmas. As of last night, we here in the Denver area still do not have any snow on the ground. I think that is due to the fact that I got my snow blower ready at least a month ago. But it is getting colder at night. It is nice to watch the Christmas tree in our living room. Every year it seems that we do it up perfect. 'Course, how can you go wrong with a fake tree that has all the lights already on it? Just unbox it, set it in a tree stand, fluff some branches, add decorations, plug that sucker in, and you have your tree done. You know, it is fast and you save some money every year. But, I still sometimes want to have a real tree. Yeah, they can be a pain. But to me, a real tree is more about Christmas.

When I was a little kid we knew it was Christmastime at home when we went out and got the Christmas tree. I can remember going out in the snow, in the car, with my great grandfather and my sister and maybe a few of my cousins. We would jump in Papa's 1960 Chevy Biscayne. (This was my first car -- the HOOPY as we called it.)

We would drive up in the hills around Fraser, Colorado. We would take some hot chocolate, sandwiches, and some fruit. When we arrived at the forest entrance, the ranger at the gate would check our permit. The snow was deep and the wind had a bite to it. When we found a place to pull off the road we had to be sure that we were not going to get stuck. Then we all would take off and look for that perfect tree. Sometimes it didn't take too long, other times it seemed to take hours.

Once the tree was found, Papa would let us take turns cutting the tree down. When it was cut, we then had to find our way back to the car. Once at the car, we kids would get in, Papa would start the car, and he would proceed to tie the tree to the top of the car. By the time he had done that the car was nice and warm. We would finish up the hot chocolate and sandwiches, then make our way back to Mama & Papa's house in Kremmling.

When we would get to their house, we kids would rush in and Mama would stop us at the back door. She would make us brush off all the snow, take off our wet socks, and she would hand us each a pair of warm socks that she had setting in the oven. I can remember how warm they felt on my feet and how warm their little house was. Papa would bring the tree in and Mama had everything ready. The stand was in front of the big window, and several boxes of decorations were open and waiting. We would decorate the tree, listen to Christmas carols, and drink so much hot chocolate that our grandparents thought we would burst. We never really spent Christmas with them, that I can remember. But they were always at our house on Christmas Eve.

I thought about it, and I think we only had a real tree for Christmas maybe 12 times or so in my lifetime. Maybe next year we will have a real tree. I'm sure once it is up and decorated all of those memories, sights, sounds, and smells of Christmases past will come flooding back. Thoughts of family and friends who have passed will bring a tear or two, as well as the joy that Christmas brings every year.

I hope that all of you will have a Christmas that brings you all together, and hope that loved ones who are overseas or away from home make it home for Christmas.

So, have a mug of hot chocolate or a big glass of eggnog and hug the people that are here with you now. Hang up some extra mistletoe. It never hurts to give out a few more kisses. Be kind to others, always.

Our family wishes all of you and yours a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

FEED YOUR FACE: Christmas Cookies

Christmas is just around the corner, and lots of people like to make homemade cookies.

At our house, and through the years, the one major cookie we have always made is the sugar cookie. Plain dough, red dough, green dough. And then you have the sprinkles, colored sugar, them little round balls things in silver and gold. And let's not forget all the different cookie cutters: stars, bells, reindeer, Santa, Christmas trees, and all the others. And they come in different sizes.

When we were kids, we went to great lengths to make all the sugar cookies look really neat and cute. Sometimes it took about 5 minutes just to do one cookie. You really had to have a bit of artist in you. Like those little silver and gold balls? They had to be put on the green cookies that were Christmas trees to look like ornaments.

Then there is the icing to put on them for garland and stuff. And if you did a gingerbread man sugar cookie, you had to do the face and some type of clothes for it. No nude-y ginger man cookies in our house! And I always did the eyes on them. You know, you have to put just a little drop of white icing for each eye. Then you had to put a smaller drop on each eye to give them blue eyes or green eyes and even red eyes. And it never failed -- every eye I ever did came out looking crosseyed. It was really upsetting. How in the world can you give Santa a crosseyed sugar gingerbread man?

That's probably why I didn't get some of the presents I asked for from Santa. You try eating a crosseyed sugar gingerbread man cookie that is staring at you crosseyed! You'd end up with milk coming out your nose or you'd end up choking on one of those little silver or gold ball things. And the other cookies? You spend all of this time making them look really neat. Did Santa ever leave you a note saying how nice your cookies looked? I never got one. They were always just wolfed down, an empty glass with a little bit of milk left in the bottom and an empty plate with some cookie crumbs. And that was that.

One year my sister Lenora and I had a great idea. There used to be a feed store not too far from our house. That year when we went to the feed store with Pappy to get some rabbit feed, my sister and I snitched some hay. We stuffed hay in our coat pockets, we filled our pants pockets, and it seems that I even had hay stuffed down my pants. (Another reason for revenge on my sister, see my blog from last week titled, "Butt Sniper.") We figured that we would leave a bite of hay for each of Santa's reindeer. We even put ribbons on each handful, with each reindeer's name. Now, how many kids would think that far out of the box? We were ahead of our time. We just knew that with the hay and cookies we would get all the things we wanted that year.

Guess what? Christmas morning, we got up extra early. (All of the adults loved that year.) And, sure enough, the milk was gone, just a little left in the bottom of the glass. All the cookies were gone. The bites of hay were gone. And under the tree that year we got everything that we had asked for, except I still did not get my full-sized robot to do my biding or the space bike, like from the old TV show Fire Ball XL 5. (Anybody remember that one?)

Make some holiday cheer, make some sugar cookies, decorate them suckers, and see if you can make them without crossed eyes. Have some fun and think of some of the Christmases past. I know that it will put a smile on your face.

So feed your face! and go easy on the food coloring in the cookie dough. I had green teeth for about three days one year.

Enjoy!

Sour Cream Rollout Cookies (soft sugar cookies)

• 1 cup butter


• 2 cups sugar


• 1 cup sour cream


• 3 egg yolks


• 1 t. baking soda


• 1 t. vanilla


• 1/8 t. salt


• 4-3/4 cups flour

Cream the butter and sugar. Add the egg yolks. Combine the soda with the sour cream. (Don't freak out if it foams up a little.) Add to the butter mixture, then add the vanilla and salt. Add flour in two portions until combined. Chill dough overnight, or at least four hours. Roll out, cut, and bake at 350 degrees for 8 to 12 minutes, depending on size and thickness.

You could also add food coloring to the dough if you want some colors. Or add orange, lemon, almond, or peppermint extract if you want a little something extra.

Decorate with sprinkles of some type before baking, or ice these after they have cooled. Now, feed your face!