Meanwhile ... the Iron Pumpkin!

So yesterday I had a dental appointment (whee!), but there was a fun surprise waiting at the reception desk. Instead of the usual clipboards and dour faces, there was a line of fancy jack o' lanterns!

Honestly, they were all pretty impressive — one of 'em was made up to look like Cinderella's pumpkin carriage and came complete with horses and a working light inside. I mean, holy crap. But of course, that's not the one that caught my eye. Instead I instantly gravitated toward Iron Pumpkin!

I don't know what the faceplate and ear-thingies are made of (Sculpey, maybe?), but it's a pretty good job. I just wonder; at the end of the day, does it go home as a drunken gourd named Tony Squash?

Cover Up: Iron Man #165

Click to Tony's Ego-size!

I don't have anything pithy to say about this cover by penciler Luke McDonnell and inker Steve Mitchell — I've just always thought it's cool as hell.

And it looks like Tony's in pretty bad shape, right? One of the things I like most about superhero comics is that sense of excitement they can create by making you ask, "What's going on?!" and "What's going to happen next?!"

This cover has always done that for me, even though I've read the not-so-great story inside about a hundred times.

Comics in the Wild: Iron Men Down Through the Ages

Click for full-size metal!

I found this drawing on a dry-erase board outside of the Austin Community College-Northridge student lounge a few days ago, and the more I looked at it the more amazed I was at the detail. The Iron Man designs for 1964 through the present are right on, and it looks like the whole thing was done with just four markers. I can't even make a list on my dry-erase board without it getting smudgey.

Besides, it's just kinda funny, what with the Futurama/IronMan/Ozzy mash-up going on (with a little Spider-Man reference thrown in for good measure). I'd love to give the artist credit but he or she did everything except sign their name, so if anyone in Austin has a line on who drew this, let me know.

OK, now I gotta go crank up the Sabbath!

Edit to add: Whoops! I just noticed you can't read the Spider-Man reference in the photo; in the last frame Bender is singing, "Iron Man, Iron Man, does whatever an Iron can ..." Of course he's also holding a bottle of booze, which makes sense any way you look at it.

Friday Night Fights: Iron Man loves cheap shots

Hey, Iron Man! What position do you play on the company softball team?

Panels from Invincible Iron Man #166

Apparently, Iron Man also pegged that mechanical duck The Melter carries under his shirt. Who the hell is The Melter, you ask? You got me — outside of this humiliating appearance I had never heard of him before, but that doesn't keep it from being one of my favorite issues of Iron Man. And it's not just because of The Melter, either.

Extra! Extra!

Still fresh from walloping the scourge of ice cream and tape cassettes everywhere, our Man of Heavy Metal is ready to face his toughest opponent yet! That's right, it's ...

Tony Stark vs The Bottle!

Well, this should be quick ...


That's why you should always bet on Bahlactus!

And as always, you can check out more of the Post here.

Tony Stark is a punk

Let me say something right up front: I used to be a huge fan of Iron Man.

What's not to love about an incredibly smart, successful - but otherwise completely average - guy with a bad ticker and a stalker's fondness for the bottle who somehow still manages to be a superhero? He was a like a drunk Bruce Wayne, fighting evil because it's the right thing to do, as well as an awesome way to pick up chicks.

Plus, no other comic gave you more "KRANG!" and "BLONG!" sound effects except maybe Thor, and if both characters were in the same issue you practically needed earplugs to read it.

As you can imagine, I was pretty unimpressed by what was done with the character during Civil War. Suddenly, Tony's not only a bit of an ass, he's completely amoral. A lot of that began with Iron Man and his Illuminati cronies shooting the Hulk into space "for the greater good," and quickly devolved from there. Now, Hulk's watched Gladiator like a million times and is coming back to Earth with a mad-on for pretty much everyone, but especially for the Illuminati and - you guessed it - Iron Man.

So Shellhead does the practical thing and suits up.


Whoa, wait a minute. What the hell is that? Let's take a closer look ...


Peek-a-boo, Spidey! Traded the "Iron Spider" suit for the black costume, huh? Yeah, good call.

So Iron Man, apparently aware he's about to get his metal ass welded to his face, decides to WRAP HIS ARMOR IN EVEN MORE ARMOR?!?

What a douche.

I used to love Iron Man, but I hope Hulk beats on him 'til he gets to the chewy Tony center.

Images from the upcoming World War Hulk #1