Go Home Evolution, You're Drunk

#15 The Blobfish

When it comes to ugly animals, the Blobfish certainly takes the cake. We can only assume Evolution was experiencing some deep personal issues when he created this species...The Blobfish is so ashamed of its own appearance, that it is rarely ever seen by human beings and prefers to hide in the deep waters off the coasts of mainland Australia and Tasmania. Way to go, Evolution...

#14 The Wattle Cup Caterpillar

Evolution doesn't exactly have a lot of common sense, does he? First he decides to make the most colorful and enticing caterpillar on the planet, THEN he decides to cover the creepy-crawly in thorns - and lots of them! Found only throughout various parts of Northern Australia, we've heard that this quirky caterpillar has a potent sting that is more painful than three wasp stings at once! C'mon Evolution, what next?!

#13 Andean Cock-Of-The-Rock

No, we didn't make up the name of this weird-looking bird just to have a few laughs! The Andean Cock-Of-The-Rock is widely regarded as the national bird of Peru, but what we want to know is, what the heck happened to its beak?! Evolution, you certainly have a lot to answer for - We don't know what crazy ideas were going through YOUR head at the time...

#12 The Bald Uakari

Yikes Evolution, you've obviously been holding a grudge against the Bald Uakari - Just look at that poor thing! This species is just one of many small South American primates, however, this guy really pulled the short straw! He's so ashamed of his patchy head of hair that he's forever blushing with embarrassment!

#11 The Ctenophora

Oh wow Evolution, it really seems as though you only finished half of this creature when you created him! Perhaps next time, give the Ctenophora a few more body parts than just a mouth? Also known as Comb Jellies, these marine creatures live in oceans all around the world. We get the feeling that they have a 'bone to pick' with Evolution though, and we could not blame them!

#10 The Devil's Tooth Fungus

Before you lick your lips and start craving a jam donut - be warned, this is actually a Devil's Tooth Fungus - Yikes! This species is commonly found across North America and Europe. Evolution, just what exactly were you thinking of when you created this red liquid-oozing fungus? All we can say is, go home Evolution, you certainly ARE drunk!

#9 The Goblin Shark

Oh Evolution, what have you done here?! It seems as though this Goblin Shark is extremely insecure about that long nose of his, and we don't blame him! This species is so embarrassed that it hides up to 200 meters under the waters surface. It seems as though when Evolution was creating all of the species of sharks, he thought he would try and mix things up a bit.

#8 The Marabou Stork

Have you ever seen an animal and had to look twice because you had no idea what it was? Well, let's just say that the Marabou Stork will make you look a hundred times, but you still won't know what the heck it is! Evolution, did decide to just 'copy and paste' random bits from other animals in order to create this species? See, plagiarism never looks good!

#7 The Pancake Batfish

Oh no, it looks like Evolution had pancakes and waffles on his mind when he created this Pancake Batfish! The poor species has to endure constant bullying over its 'Sunday breakfast' appearance! Here's a helpful tip Evolution, next time you try to create an animal, remember that making it look like a delicious pancake will only decrease its chances of survival...

#6 The Piglet Squid

Evolution, did you run out of ideas and simply start combining farm animals with marine life?! Piglet squids are approximately the size of a small avocado and they are found at depths of more than 100 meters under sea level. While it seems as though Evolution may very well have been drunk whilst designing this species, we have to admit, it sure is one cute squid!

#5 The Sage Grouse

We've become quite sure that Evolution only made the Sage Grouse for his own entertainment - This bird species is simply too funny! Known as the largest Grouse in North America, this bird not only has a yellow patch over its eye, but the adult male also has two yellow sacs on the neck which are inflated when he is trying to impress the female Sage Grouses! Next time you're bored Evolution, maybe just rent a DVD?

#4 The Softshell Turtle

A Turtle with a soft shell - really, Evolution? This species is commonly found in Africa, Asia, North America, and Southeast Asia, and they are also known as Pancake Turtles (again with Evolution's obsession with pancakes). It seems as though Evolution was getting tired of making the same old turtles, so thought he would mix things up a bit by giving them a soft shell - Too strange!

#3 The Sea Pig

Evolution has proved that he has a fascination with pigs and marine life it seems! The Sea Pig is part of the Sea Cucumber family and they reside in the deeper underwater parts of the ocean. Here's some advice Evolution - Next time you're having trouble coming up with a new species, try not to combine two unlikely animals as part of some crazy science experiment!

#2 The Variable Neon Slug

Let's just say that it looks like even Evolution went through that awkward neon-loving fashion phase...The Variable Neon Slug species are found in the tropical Indo-West Pacific, and they are most famous for their neon green, red and orange markings. Have you got a reasonable excuse for creating this crazy-looking creature, Evolution? We didn't think so!

#1 The Sheepshead Fish

Just look at the teeth on that fish! The Sheepshead Fish has been found in various parts of the world, from the Mid-Atlantic all the way to Texas. Evolution, just what exactly were you thinking putting several rows of human-like teeth in the mouth of a medium-sized fish?! Oh Evolution, now you're just embarrassing yourself...

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The Mammoth Megalodon, A Shark About 30 Times the Size of a Great White

The (Carcharodon) Megalodon is thought to have looked something like a Great White Shark, only a bit more stocky and overall bigger… much bigger, with an average adult Megalodon estimated to have weighed around 70-100 tons (about 30 times that of a Great White Shark which full grown tend to be about 2.5-3 tons).  The Megalodon is estimated to have been around 15-24 meters long (50-78 ft., compared to a typical adult Great White Shark which is only 6m or 20 ft long).  It is also estimated that the bite force the Megalodon’s jaws could generate was somewhere in the vicinity of 108,514 N – 182,201 N (11-18 tons of force).  For reference, this is about 6-10 times the biting power of a Great White Shark and 18-30 times that of a Lion.

Not only were its jaws exceptionally powerful, but the Megalodon had teeth as large as 18 cm long (7 inches- in fact, “Megalodon” literally means “giant tooth”), which are today the most common remnants of the Megalodon found.  These teeth didn’t just have powerful jaws helping them to slice through prey, but they also are serrated and deeply planted in the jaw, so as not to break loose or chip when biting even through thick bones of another creature.

Megalodon vs. Great White Shark Teeth

This giant of the sea seems to have traveled far and wide, with their teeth found throughout the globe.  Based on fossil evidence (particularly chewed remains of certain things), its favorite food is thought to have been marine mammals, but it also would eat other things. Among the known things it preferred to eat were dolphins, squids, whales (including very large ones like Sperm Whales), sea lions, porpoises, giant sea turtles, and the like.

So if this was such a big and powerful creature, seemingly the king of the ocean, what happened to the Megalodon?  There are a variety of theories, but mainly it’s thought its extinction came about due primarily to climate change. The Megalodon preferred warmer waters and thanks to global cooling of the Earth’s oceans starting around 15-17 million years ago and culminating into the last Ice Age, the Megalodon died out around the end of the Pliocene era (about 2.5 million years ago).  At this point, the Earth’s global temperature had cooled to just about 2-3° C (3.6-5.4° F) higher than today.

It’s thought this may have simultaneously resulted in a lessening of available warm water breeding sites and a decline in available food supply due to many of the whales it fed on either dying out or moving towards more polar regions where the water was now too cold for the Megalodon. Without an abundance of reasonable sized prey to feed on, the extremely large and voracious Megalodon couldn’t last long.  It’s thought that as food became scarce, the Megalodons even began resorting to cannibalism, and young Megalodons were particularly susceptible, further accelerating their progress towards extinction, which ultimately happened around 1.6-2 million years ago.

 

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The Difference Between Turtles, Tortoises, and Terrapins, and Other Turtle Facts

All three animals come under the class of reptiles, in the taxonomic order of Testudines or Chelonia (which comes from the Greek word ‘kelone’, meaning interlocking shields or armor). They all have the major characteristics of reptiles as they are cold-blooded (eco-therms), have scales, breathe air, and lay eggs on land.

The distinction between them comes mainly from what living habitat they are adapted for, though the terminology differs slightly in certain countries.  For instance, in Australia, other than marine sea turtles, they are all called tortoises. In the United States, the term ‘turtles’ is given to chelonians that live in or near water.  That being said, in general there are a few commonly accepted distinctions between turtles, tortoises, and terrapins.

“Turtles” are generally naturally gifted at ninjutsu… or rather, they may be completely aquatic, like sea turtles, which rarely come up onto land, excepting to lay eggs.  Other types of turtles are semi-aquatic and live by fresh water ponds or lakes. They tend to swim, but also spend a lot of time on land, basking in the sun and occasionally burrowing in the mud.

Turtles have adapted to an aquatic life and are streamlined for swimming with webbed feet, or in the case of sea turtles, long flippers.  Turtle diets are not strictly vegetarian either, they are omnivores. Depending on the type of turtle, they may eat jelly-fish, small invertebrates, sea sponges or sea-vegetation. In the case of fresh water turtles, they may eat plants or insects and small fish.

Tortoises, on the other hand, are almost exclusively land-dwelling animals, usually with stubby feet, and aren’t good swimmers. They occasionally enter water bodies to clean themselves off or drink water, but could easily drown in the deep or in strong currents. Their bodies are adapted to living on land and they aren’t stream-lined like turtles, but rather display high domed shells and column shaped feet much like that of elephants.  They also sometimes have sharp claws for digging . Another major distinction is that tortoises are for the most part herbivorous and primarily eat low-lying shrubs, cacti, grasses, weeds, fruit, and other forms of vegetation.

Lastly, the term “terrapins” is sometimes used for turtles that are semi-aquatic and live near brackish waters or swampy regions. They’re sort of like a mix between a turtle and tortoise, as they spend most of their time divided between water and land. They are also usually small and have a hard-shell that’s shaped somewhere between a turtle’s streamlined one and a tortoise’s rounded dome shaped one.

 

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The Dogs Aboard the Titanic

On April 15, 1912, the legendary, ill-fated ship RMS Titanic sank. It remains, to this day, the most famous disaster in maritime history.  There were approximately 2,223 passengers aboard the ship, of which 1,502 perished. (Some sources site the figures at 2,228, with 1,503 dying.)

Besides humans, a dozen dogs were aboard the ship on its luckless maiden voyage.  Just three survived.

How were three dogs saved in lifeboats when there wasn’t enough room for all the human passengers?  The three dogs that survived the Titanic disaster were all extremely small.  The dogs were so small, it is probable that no one even noticed them when they were carried aboard the lifeboats.  Two of the dogs were Pomeranians, the third was a Pekinese.

One little Pomeranian was named “Lady” and was bought by Titanic passenger Miss Margaret Hayes in Paris. “Lady” shared a cabin with Miss Hayes and was wrapped in a blanket and carried onto a lifeboat by her when the order was given to evacuate.

The fabulously wealthy family the Rothschilds owned the other Pomeranian that survived.  The Pekinese was named “Sun Yat-Sen” and was brought on board by the Harper family (of the New York publishing firm Harpers & Row.)-  only first class passengers had dogs aboard.

One family even received an insurance payment in the amount of $300 (about $7000 today) for their two dogs that didn’t survive the sinking of the ship.  Wealthy passenger William Carter was traveling with his wife, Lucille, and two children.  Their daughter Lucy’s King Charles Spaniel was insured for $100 and their son Billy’s Airdale for $200.

The children begged to take the dogs when evacuating, but Carter insisted they were too big and assured his distraught children that their dogs would be fine in the ship’s kennel… LIES!!!  When the dogs perished, the insurance company made good on both claims.

As for the other dogs aboard, those whose names are known include world-famous millionaire John Jacob Astor’s Airdale, “Kitty”.  A woman named Helen Bishop brought a Fox Terrier named “Dog”. (How original.)  Passenger Robert Daniel brought “Gamin De Pycombe”, his French Bulldog.  There were several other dogs aboard whose names are not known.

Although a few of canine passengers shared a cabin with their owners, a majority were kept in the ship’s kennel and were cared for by the Titanic’s crew members.

One particularly sad story involved a Great Dane owned by 50-year-old Elizabeth Isham.  Miss Isham visited her dog at the ship’s kennel daily.  When she was evacuating, she asked to take the dog with her. When she was told the dog was too large, she refused to leave the ship without him and got out of her lifeboat.  Several days later, the body of an elderly woman clutching a large dog was spotted by the recovery ship Mackay Bennet, and dinghies were dispatched to round up the bodies of the woman and the animal.  Eyewitness accounts and the ship’s log confirm the sighting and recovery. The body of the woman recovered is assumed to be that of Miss Isham, though this was not verified by any other means than noting the type of dog and putting the story of her refusal to leave the ship together with the fact that they found a woman’s body with the dead dog.

 

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The Monkey Artist Hoax

In 1964, a new avant-garde artist was introduced to the art scene in the Swedish city of Gōteborg. The fresh new artist was Pierre Brassau and his work received rave reviews from critics and art fans alike.

Brassau featured four paintings in the 1964 exhibition at Gallerie Christinae, and even sold one “masterpiece” to a collector named Bertil Eklöt for $90 (about $650 today).  The exhibition featured paintings from artists across Europe, but it was the hot new French Artist who stole the show.

One critic in particular, Rolf Anderberg, was so overwhelmed by Pierre’s talent that he wrote the following review about his work, which appeared in print the morning following the exhibition:

Brassau paints with powerful strokes, but also with clear determination. His brush strokes twist with furious fastidiousness. Pierre is an artist who performs with the delicacy of a ballet dancer.

The reviews were glowing. All but one.  One critic’s review was short and to the point: “Only an ape could have done this.”

The opinion was unpopular among the other critics, despite that the pieces of art looking strikingly similar to “art” you commonly see stuck to refrigerators, produced by 2 year olds the world over.  It turns out, though, that the “ape” review more or less hit the nail on the head.

Pierre Brassau was actually none other than a young West African chimpanzee named Peter who lived in the Borås djurpark zoo in Sweden.  The mastermind behind the hoax was journalist Åke “Dacke” Axelsson. Axelsson worked for the Swedish tabloid Gotebors-Tidningen and came up with the idea of featuring the primate paintings in an exhibition in order to put the critics to the test. Could they recognize the work of true avant-garde modern artists?

Axelsson convinced Peter’s teenage caretaker to let the chimpanzee play with some oil paints and a brush. Initially, Peter ate more paint than he managed to get onto the canvasses; his favorite “flavor” was cobalt blue, a color which featured prominently in his later work.  With some encouragement, Peter soon began to develop his artistic skills. Once he finished showing off his artistic talents, producing several paintings, Axelsson chose the four which he considered the most worthy to be displayed, and set about getting them included in the exhibition at the Gallerie Christinae.

Once the hoax was revealed, the critic who had previously compared Pierre Brassau with a ballet dancer, Rolf Anderberg, doggedly stuck by his assessment and stated that Pierre’s work “was still the best painting in the exhibition”.

Peter isn’t the only primate to have found success as an artist. In 2005, the director of the State Art Museum of Moritzburg in Saxony-Anhalt, Dr Kajta Schneider,  mistakenly identified a painting as the work of Ernst Wilhelm Nay, a Guggenheim Prize winning artist. In fact, the painting was done by Banghi who was a chimpanzee living at Halle Zoo.

In 2011, Pockets Warhol, a capuchin monkey currently living in a sanctuary in Toronto, had his own art exhibition featuring 40 of his abstract paintings. His paintings have been purchased by people across the globe and sell for as much as $300 each. Proceeds from the sale of his artwork go to helping care for the other residents of the animal sanctuary where he lives.

In 2010, Jimmy, a 27 year old chimpanzee living in Rio De Janeiro, earned national acclaim for his artistic talents. When Jimmy’s caretakers realized that he had become depressed, they decided to give him some paints to brighten up his days. Jimmy showed an instant aptitude for art and has since become a household name across Brazil. He even has an art instructor who visits him 3 times a week.

In 2009, 3 paintings by Congo the chimpanzee sold at auction for more than $25,000. Congo was born in 1954 and produced around 400 paintings during his life. He died at age 10 of tuberculosis. Pablo Picasso is reported to have been a fan of Congo’s work, and in fact owned one of Congo’s paintings, which hung on his studio wall.

 

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The 3.5 Ounce Bird That Migrates About 44,000 Miles Per Year

Of the nearly 10,000 species of birds, about 19% (1,850 species) are considered to be migratory. While there are a few species that traverse long distances, the 13-15 inch, 3.5 ounce Arctic Tern takes the prize for the longest migration. Just how far do they fly? Try an astounding 44,000 miles (71,000 km) annually on average.

Thanks to recent technological advancements, specifically tiny 1.4 gram geolocators, scientists are now better able to determine exactly where these birds migrate and how long they travel for. Before these devices, it was estimated that the Arctic Tern only traveled roughly half of the distance they really do, but now we know that of the tagged birds, the shortest migration was an astounding 36,900 miles (60,000 km) while the longest was 50,700 miles (81,000 km). For perspective, the circumference of the Earth is 24,901 miles (40,075 km).

This migration is completed annually at every life stage.  Given that the Arctic Tern can live as many as 35 years, a single Arctic tern can potentially travel about 1.5 million miles (2.4 million km) in their lifetime. That is equal to 3 trips to the Moon and back!

During its migration, the Arctic Tern completes a roundtrip from Greenland, traversing the Weddell Sea and even flying along the shores of Antarctica. The birds take a break at sea over the North Atlantic Ocean while they fuel up on food (being a seabird, they eat mainly fish and marine invertebrates).

Once this break is completed, the birds head down the coast of northwest Africa, around the Cape Verde Islands, then off the west coast of Africa towards Senegal.

At this point in their travels, something very odd occurs.  Rather than following the same path, only around half of the migrating birds will continue the path along the coast of Africa. The remaining birds actually cross the Atlantic Ocean and go down the coast of South America. The reason behind this isn’t fully understood; but whatever the case, both sets of birds complete their trips successfully.

The return trip also has an interesting twist. Rather than traveling straight back along the path they came, the Terns instead travel in a twisted ‘S’ shaped pattern through the Atlantic Ocean. Though this route adds many miles to their trip, it has a purpose. The birds are taking advantage of the global wind system. So although they’re taking a meandering path, they actually use less energy thanks to the wind currents.

Bonus Facts:

• Before researchers realized how far the Arctic Tern actually travels, the Sooty Shearwater was the record-holder. The longest distance traveled by this seabird was roughly 40,000 miles, covering nearly 300 miles per day. These birds travel in a circular route from the Falkland Islands to the Arctic Ocean. The Sooty Shearwater’s cousin, the Short-tailed Shearwater, is also a globetrotter. The Short-tailed Shearwater travels about 27,000 miles during its migration.
• The record-holder for migratory songbirds goes to the miniscule Northern Wheatear. Though he might be miniscule in size, weighing only 1/2 to 1.2 ounces, this bird completes a migration of epic proportions, with an annual migration of nearly 18,000 miles. Their migration goes from northern and central Asia and throughout Europe, Greenland, and sometimes even Canada. The Northern Wheatear winters over in Sub-Saharan Africa. Though many birds travel through different climates, this species travels over everything from open tundra to desert.
• You may have noticed that most migratory birds stop in various locations during their travels. There is one species that completes its entire migration in one journey! This title goes the Bar-Tailed Godwit, a wader similar to a sandpiper. The Bar-Tailed Godwit flies over 7,145 miles in only 9 days, from Alaska to New Zealand. During this entire time, these birds don’t stop for food, water, or even to rest their wings. Scientists are still baffled as to how this phenomenon is even possible.
• Though the Arctic Tern can live upwards of 35 years, they are not sexually mature until they are around 3 or 4 years old. They complete their migration to their breeding ground nonetheless.
• Scientists have discovered that nearly all Arctic Terns will return to the same area and even colony in which they themselves were hatched. The female will produce anywhere from one to three small olive or tan colored blotched eggs during the breeding season. The dark blotching on the eggs aids in camouflaging them from predators as the Tern’s nest is usually within gravel and grasses. The chicks have gray or tan down. Though their eyes are open when they hatch, they are unable to walk for a while. Chicks stay with parents for about 3 months before becoming independent. Both male and female Terns share parental responsibilities, including incubation and feeding.

 

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Canary Birds Were Named After the Canary Islands, Not the Other Way Around

When one hears “Canary Islands” who doesn’t think of a colorful chorus of birds in the local pet shop or that bright yellow soul swinging in the living room? While most of us assume the group of islands off the African coast derive their name from the bird, it turns out it’s the other way around- the birds are named after the Islands, whose name originally had nothing to do with birds, and may actually refer to native island dogs!

Many historians use as a starting point for the origin of the name Pliny’s 1st century account of the islands being populated by large dogs, two of which were presented to Juba, the King of Mauritania, possibly the first discoverer of the Islands. When the Canary Islands were re-discovered by Roman sailors, it was said that one of the Islands was overrun by wild dogs. The entire set of islands was henceforth referred to as “Canaria” (“canis” in Latin means “dog”).

The problem with determining if this “dog” theory is completely accurate is that by the time of the Spanish conquest of the Canary Islands, there wasn’t any sign of dogs. Nevertheless, “Las Islas Canarias” was firmly established when the Spanish colony formed.

Other theories still abounded as to the etymology of “canary” for the name of the island chain. One theory goes that the name refers to an indigenous herb “Canaria” used to purge the bowels of dogs.  In another theory, it’s thought it might be from the name of different plant, “Uva Canaria” (dog’s grape). Yet another theory claims the native Guanches worshiped and even possibly ran wild with dogs and shared their penchant for raw, bloody flesh.

The origins of Canary and the ethnic make-up of its inhabitants are still contested. Part of the problem is that the archipelago of the Canary Islands consists of seven islands, each with its own distinct history: Tenerife, Fuerteventura, Lanzarote, El Hierro, Las Palma, Gran Canario, and La Gomera. What is certain about the Canary Islands is that they are beautiful. The exotic and unusual features of the Islands include golden sands that give way to mountains, active volcanoes surrounded by low clouds, and a variety of landscapes from colorful lush flora to a stark pumice-stone terrain. The pumice formations on Tenerife are so distinctively alien that NASA tests its robots there.

The mystique of the Canary Islands goes back to the early Greeks, who decided they were the location of the Elysian Fields and the gardens of Hesperides. The Romans took up this idea and proposed that the Canary Islands were the Fortunate isles. It’s no surprise then that later in history, some Christians chose to place Paradise itself among its lush islands.

Did we resolve the dog-origin issue? Not really, but the Spanish are proud of their island chain’s supposed canine heritage, however vague its lineage- enough to make dogs a prominent feature of their flag.  What we can say for certain, though, is that the island chain was not named after the birds, but rather, the birds were named after the islands.

Bonus Facts:

• One of the Islands, El Hierro, was once the home of the legendary “fountain tree” or “rain tree”, which for a time provided a significant amount of the island’s water supply. This tree was situated in such a location that fog would pool incredibly densely around it on an almost daily basis for several hours (with surrounding sheer cliffs, near the top of the Hoya de tejis cliffs, “collecting” the fog blown into it.)  This resulted in water condensing on the branches and leaves of the tree and dripping down at a steady rate, almost as if it was lightly raining.  As drinking water was scarce on the island, the inhabitants would collect this “fountain tree” water.  Unfortunately, the tree was destroyed in a hurricane in 1610.
• One of the worst unintentional airline disasters in history occurred on Tenerife on March 27, 1977, with 583 deaths.  The accident happened due to something of a “perfect storm” of incidents.  First, a bomb was set off at Gran Canaria Airport.  When this happened, all air traffic to the airport was diverted to a much smaller airport in Tenerife.  The airport became so crowded that planes were kept on the taxiways themselves.  On top of that, a very dense fog came in reducing visibility significantly.  What made matters worse was that the Tenerife airport had no radar, so the tower controllers not only couldn’t use their eyes to see where the planes were because of the fog, but also couldn’t track them via radar.  They instead relied on the pilots themselves to say where they were exactly and the controllers kept track that way.  At a certain point, KLM Flight 4805 taxied onto the runway to take off.  At the same time, Pan Am Flight 1736 was still sitting on the runway, but hidden by the fog.  When the KLM plane was in the process of taking off, they collided with the Pan Am flight killing all but 61 aboard the Pan Am flight and killing everyone aboard the KLM plane resulting in 583 deaths.
• Much of what we know of dark matter and universe is thanks to the Canary’s favorable atmospheric conditions which makes it ideal for viewing the heavens. A large telescope resides on La Palma.

 

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The Bizarre World of Animal Reproduction

As weird and whacky as some human mating practices can sometimes be, other animals’ reproductive habits can be even stranger at times.  While one species gives birth through a penis, another’s testicles’ explode after sex. Further, post-coital cannibalism and V-shaped penises are not all that uncommon.

We’ll start with the hyena.  Depending on if you notice her udders, the female spotted hyena looks either like a male or a hermaphrodite. Being neither, the female hyena, like other mammals, has a uterus, ovaries, udders, labia and clitoris; unfortunately (or not, depending on your interest), the hyena’s clitoris is super long and frequently becomes erect – giving her the appearance of an aroused male. On top of that, her labia are formed in such a way, with a fold and connective tissue, that they strongly resemble a scrotum. Nonetheless, those aren’t the family jewels, they’re just strangely built lady parts.

Weirder still, the female hyena’s clitoris, often referred to as a pseudopenis because of its resemblance to the real thing, is used for urinating, copulating and giving birth; this means she pees through it, but also, during mating, the male hyena inserts his penis directly into it. Later, when it’s time to give birth, the baby is delivered through the clitoris; in order to accommodate intercourse and delivery, rather than being erect, the pseudopenis becomes flaccid, thin and elastic.

In fact, a number of animal species have a pseudopenis, including lemurs, squirrel monkeys and some birds. Although with the lemur and monkey, the pseudopenis is a female characteristic, when it is seen in birds, it is a trait only seen in males. Most bird species, up to 97%, do not have a penis or other phallic structure; rather, they mate by pressing together an opening on their bottoms whereby the sperm is transferred via a “kiss.” Known as the cloaca, like the hyena’s clitoris, it is used not only in reproduction, but for defecation and urination as well.

On the subject of pee, male giraffes drink the urine of the female shortly before they have sex; according to experts, the male giraffe can detect if the female is in estrus (i.e., in heat) from her golden shower. Female giraffes gestate their fetuses for at least 13 months, and then give birth standing up. Typically, only one male in a herd gets to impregnate the females, almost always the one with the longest neck.  The rest of the time, the males tend to just like having sex with one another, with an estimated 74%-94% of all male giraffe mating being with another male.

With bees, it is the sole queen, who obtains her throne by ruthlessly killing her rivals, who gets her choice of mates from among the male drones in the colony. Rare, dramatic and violent, bee copulation (and the drone’s life) ends when the male’s genitalia explode within the queen. The queen will continue to mate over a series of flights with up to 40 drones and puts their semen in storage to be used to produce fertilized eggs over the rest of her life.

Like bees, black widow females are renowned for killing their mates after sex; although with the widow, she’s reputed to eat the male rather than causing him to blow up. Experts note, however, that of the numerous species of black widows in the world, only one engages in cannibalism routinely, and she lives in the Southern Hemisphere. Of the three American species of black widows, only one eats her mates, and then only occasionally. Similarly, although female preying mantises are reputed to engage in post-coital cannibalism, this is only very rarely observed in the wild.

Flatworms also like rough sex, but unlike bees, spiders and mantises, no one dies at the end. These sea slugs are hermaphrodites, so when it comes time to reproduce, one has to be the bottom and the other the top. To decide, they spar with their penises, and the one who is stabbed receives the sperm and bears the babies.

Some other animals get to be both sexes but not at the same time. The clownfish is born male, but when it matures, it can turn into a female if necessary. Nemo and his kind live in groups where only one couple gets to have sex, so when that female dies, one of the larger males transforms into a female and the cycle continues. Similarly, some frog species will have members of a population change sex, either from male to female or female to male, in order to maintain the proper proportion of each gender to ensure the success of the group.

More than just the pouch separates marsupials from the rest of the mammalian kingdom. Female marsupials have two uteruses, as well as three vaginas: two for intercourse and a third for delivering babies. To properly tend to the ladies, the male marsupial has a two-pronged penis. Unlike other mammals, marsupial fetuses gestate for only about a month before they are born. Of course, they hide in the mother’s pouch for a good long time until they are sufficiently developed.

Whether it’s with pee, dueling organs or simply changing sex, animals go to great lengths to make babies and propagate their kind. Perhaps examples of evolution or simply God’s jokes, these weird ways of reproduction have helped species thrive for millions of years. Who are we to judge?

 

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The Amazing Tardigrade- The Toughest Known Creature on Earth and Beyond

It is surely the stuff of science fiction: An extraordinary being arrives on Earth that can withstand a tortuous array of conditions: boiling, freezing, tremendous atmospheric pressure, near total dehydration, and exposure to massive amounts of ionizing radiation. While many joke that “cockroaches would be the only thing to survive an extreme global nuclear war”, in fact, cockroaches would not.  These creatures would. They are also the only life form known to be able to survive the near vacuum of space for extended periods. (Note: humans can actually survive the near vacuum of space for about 90 seconds without long term damage, but we have nothing on this creature.) They can lie dormant for 10-100 years and then come back to life with a drop of water. When it comes to durability, nothing on Earth can match the very real “Water Bear”- a tiny creature the size of a grain of sand (averaging about a millimeter long) that is lauded as the toughest creature on planet Earth.

There are over 1000 known species of Water Bears (called such because when they walk, their gait loosely resembles plump little bears ambling along on eight legs).  Also known as “tardigrades” (from the Latin “tardigradus” meaning ‘slow walker’), they thrive in the most extreme environments on every corner of the Earth- from the Equator to the Polar regions- forests, swamps, deserts, tundras, mountains, glaciers, hot springs- from the highest point on Earth along the Himalayan mountain range, to the deepest parts of the sea, tardigrades are there. Less excitingly, they can also be found in your backyard where you can usually find them in common moss, lichens and ferns, feeding on natural detritus in the undergrowth.

Although the scientific community has long known about tardigrades (since 1773), it is still somewhat of a mystery how they manage the amazing feat of cryptobiosis, that is, the ability to almost completely halt their metabolic processes, losing up to 97%-99% of their total moisture.  When they then encounter water again, they reanimate, with the current record being 120 years to reanimation (though that particular creature simply moved a little and then died when reanimated.  But when we go to spans such as 10 years, most tardigrades are able to fully reanimate with no problem.)

One of the keys to this hardy creature’s success seems to be the presence of a cellular sugar called trehalose which preserves the membranes that form their bodies. Although hardly the answer to human suspended animation, scientists are looking at trehalose as a viable way to preserve human eggs during freezing for later fertilization.

In any event, when tardigrades dry up, they become “tuns”, little capsules that are easily transported and dispersed over the Earth via the wind, the oceans, or in an animal’s gut. (Yes, they can sometimes survive there too.)  Besides their dehydration abilities, these little creatures can also go without oxygen for a time and withstand temperatures ranging from well above water’s boiling point to nearly absolute zero. (They’ve been shown to be able to survive as low as 1 degree above absolute zero for several minutes.)

Not remarkable enough for you?  Tardigrades can also survive as high as 5,000 grays or 500,000 rads of ionizing radiation, though above 100,000 rads does seem to make them sterile.  For reference, humans die around a “mere” 1,000-2,000 rads and will suffer significant damage with much less.

In order to test some of the tardigrade’s amazing abilities, in 2007, the European Space Agency launched the FOTON-M3 spacecraft hurtling a capsule full  of science experiments into the heavens. Its subjects included live tardigrades, who returned from space after orbiting Earth for 12 days, all the while being subjected to the near vacuum of space and the full spectra of deadly solar and cosmic radiation. How did the Water Bears hold up? No problem for a large percentage of them. About 68% of them were just fine and kept on amblin’ once back on Earth.  For reference, besides surviving the near vacuum of space, some species of tardigrade can also withstand up to 6,000 times atmospheric pressure at sea level.  This is about 6 times more pressure than at the deepest point in the ocean.

Bonus Facts:

• So if the tardigrade is so resilient, why isn’t everything on the planet coated with a thick layer of them?  Well, it turns out the natural life span of the tardigrade is just about a year, unless they are dehydrated.  In that case, obviously the record is currently about 120 years as listed above.
• When the tardigrade emerges from its egg, it actually has all its adult cells and does not grow in terms of number of cells.  It does increase in size, though, as individual cells enlarge.
• Because their hardiness verges on indestructibility, this little bear’s ability to survive beyond Earth’s atmosphere encourages speculation that they could have potentially come from outer space, a belief known as transpermia.  Whatever the case, the first known tardigrade seems to have popped up on Earth around 530 million years ago.
• Most tardigrades eat plant matter and bacteria, although some prey on nematodes (tiny worms) or other creatures, foraging around with their signature lumbering gait.
• Although tardigrades generally consist of males and females, some species have been identified as parthenogenic (a form of asexual reproduction) or even hermaphroditic.  The tardigrade’s survival and adaptability strategies are so effective it shouldn’t be surprising that its mating method is just as efficient. In most observed species, when the female molts, she leaves some eggs in her cast-off skin, after which the male fertilizes them with sperm and then lumbers on his way.
• Do you want to see a Water Bear for yourself? Or is your kid on the market for an awesome science project? You’re in luck, because anyone with a microscope can observe tardigrade behavior up close and personal. Just find a piece of moss, soak it in some spring water in a petri dish and see if you can spot a tardigrade among the creatures that begin to animate your scope’s visual field.

 

 

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The “Australian” Shepherd Breed was Developed in America

The Australian Shepherd is a popular breed throughout the United States, prized for its intelligence and good temperament. However, in spite of its name, the Australian Shepherd does not originate from Australia, but was developed on American soil. The breed was developed in the 19th century for herding purposes. Many immigrants brought sheep and other livestock with them, and to help manage the flocks, they also brought their favorite herding dogs. Although many dogs that arrived at this time were from Australia, it is believed that the primary ancestors of today’s Australian Shepherd were from Germany or Spain’s Basque region.  There is also compelling genetic evidence indicating that the Australian Shepherd has ancestors that came over to the Americas on the Bering Land Bridge; so in some sense, at least part of the breed might be considered “native”.

The breed particularly became well known and started to be sought after for their herding ability in the Colorado Rockies, as these dogs are able to maintain their high energy levels, even in extremely high altitudes and frigid weather.

Somewhat more humorous than the “Australian” bit being incorrect is that once the breed finally became official, most “Australian Shepherds” were not used for herding anymore. They were not officially recognized until 1957, when the Australian Shepherd Club of America (ASCA) was first formed, and the current breed description was not formulated until 1977.  It took another 16 years before the American Kennel Club (AKC) recognized the breed.

However, long before they became “official”, the dog was bred and often used for herding. Despite its small size, it is extremely athletic, with strength and stamina to work all day without much decrease in its alertness, speed, or agility. It also is extremely protective of its flock- whether animals or, more typically today, humans- and has a natural tendency to want to herd, as you’ll quickly find out if you send a group of kids randomly running in every direction with one of these dogs around.  This is also one dog that is not intimidated by the elements. Its thick coat has a water-resistant outer layer and an inner, finer coat for extra warmth.

As to why the breed is called “Australian” despite being bred in America, with even its ancestors not coming from an actual Australian breed, the leading theory is that the dog perhaps used to commonly be used to herd imported Australian sheep.  However, this is mostly speculation, and the dog was also used to herd many other things.  A slightly more tenable speculative theory about why Australian Shepherds are called that is that they have a blue merle color pattern, similar to many dogs brought over from Australia to America; thus, because of the color pattern, they were simply called “Australian” as so many other dogs were that had the blue merle coloring at that time.  Despite the breed not being officially established until relatively recently, the original name stuck when they finally got registered.

 Bonus Facts

• Australian Shepherds are generally a healthy breed, though they may sometimes be prone to certain health conditions. Hip dysplasia is one such condition. This is a genetic disorder that causes a malformation of the hip socket. Though young dogs with hip dysplasia may appear quite healthy, as they grow older, because the thigh bone doesn’t fit the hip socket correctly, the bone will begin to wear. This will lead to arthritis. Hip dysplasia is usually treated will total hip replacement surgery. The condition is usually diagnosed by the age of two years.
• Aussies may also sometimes be affected by genetic eye conditions. One of the more prevalent ones is known as iris and ocular coloboma. This causes absence of part of the eye structure. Progressive retinal atrophy, cataracts and detached retinas can also be problems.
• Occasionally, epilepsy also occurs within the breed. There is no screening test available for such seizure disorders.
• If you like the Australian Shepherd but prefer a smaller dog, you’ll be interested to hear about Mini-Aussies. These delightful dogs share the same temperament and looks as their larger counterparts but are only 14 and 18 inches in height and weight between 17 and 30 pounds. The miniature version of this breed was first developed in 1968 by Californian horsewoman Doris Cordova.
• In the ASCA Herding Competitions, Australian Shepherds herd cattle, sheep and ducks.
• The “ghost-eye” dog is a nickname for the breed.  They are also sometimes known as a “velcro dog” for their tendency to latch on to one particular individual extremely strongly, including sometimes only choosing to obey that individual.
• The Australian Shepherd’s extreme intelligence combined with a boatload of energy tends to mean if you leave them home alone with nothing to do, you can expect to come home to some shredded items or other destructive ways they’ve chosen to entertain themselves while you were gone.  They also may get out their energy by jumping up and randomly running laps around in your house or the yard.  If you have one of these dogs and they do this, you probably aren’t exercising them enough.
• Most Australian Shepherds are born with short or no tails. If their tail is longer than 4 inches, it is usually docked before 3 days of age, often without any anesthesia.

 

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12 Interesting Facts You Probably Didn’t Know About Rhinoceroses

Rhinos are lovable lummoxes, herbivores who roam grasslands and forests nibbling on foliage, fruit and grasses. When left alone, they can live for over 40 years in the wild. Able to reach speeds of up to 35 miles per hour, they are still not fast enough to outrun, or small enough to hide from, human hunters.  As such, today there are just five remaining species of rhinoceroses: three Asian and two African.

With out further ado, I give you 12 interesting rhino facts for your reading pleasure.

1) A Rhino’s horn’s structure resembles a horse’s hooves. The outside is composed of soft keratin, not unlike hair and fingernails, while at its center there are dense deposits of melanin and calcium. If the horn breaks off, the rhino can grow a new one.

2) People have treasured rhino horns throughout known history. The horns have been carved into paperweights and hairpins, cups and dagger handles with its translucent beauty highly prized by artisans.  It has also historically been prized for its supposed medicinal qualities and even today in places like China, India and Malaysia, rhino horns are ground and used to treat a variety of ailments including fever, headache, gout, rheumatism and food poisoning. Although extensive research has been done to try to verify the medicinal value of a rhino horn, only one has shown even a slight correlation between rhino horn and improved health.

3) Just how valuable, monetarily speaking, is a rhino horn?  In some places, such as Vietnam, a large rhino horn can run you one quarter to a half million dollars U.S.  Because the horn is so valuable at present, many think the only way to stop poaching is to simply try to domesticate the rhino as much as possible and begin farming them for their horns, which would simultaneously drive down the price of a horn and establish a legal market for it.  In fact, in some areas, to potentially save the rhino from poachers, the rhinos are incapacitated, then have their horn removed, effectively making them temporarily safe from poachers until the horn grows back.  Full grown rhinos, even without their horn, are pretty much at the top of the food chain, besides humans, so some find this to be an acceptable way to try to stop poaching and preserve the rhino.  Although, removing the horn does potentially cause problems with its ability to defend itself from other rhinos.

4) For the ancients, the rhino horn was thought to hold magical properties, such as the ability to purify water or be used to detect poisons in drinks. Surprisingly, the latter quality may be true. Because of the horn’s composition, today some believe that strongly alkaline poisons may have produced a chemical reaction inside a cup made from the horn.

5) Africa is home to both species of white, as well as the black, rhino, although the former isn’t white and the latter isn’t black (they’re really both grey or yellowish-grey, looking very similar). In fact, the main distinction between the two species is that black rhinos’ mouths are designed for eating foliage, while white rhinos’ lips are broad and flat, better for grazing.  So why are they called “black” and “white” rhinos?    For black rhinos, they were simply called this to distinguish them from white rhinos.  For white rhinos, nobody knows for sure, but it’s thought that perhaps they were originally named this after the Afrikaans “wyd”, meaning “wide”, so not in reference to their color, but their broad, flat mouths.  The theory goes that this then morphed into “white” in English.

6) An adult rhino’s skin can be as much as 5 cm (2 inches) thick, with typical range of thickness across species being 1.5-5 cm thick.

7) “Rhinoceros”, the name, comes from the Ancient Greek “ῥῑνόκερως”, meaning “horn nose”.

8) Rhinos first popped up around 50 million years ago, probably branching off from the Hyracodontidae family of animals.  This group looked a bit like horses with the smallest around the size of a dog and the largest, Paraceratherium, thought to be the largest land mammal in history at 16 feet tall at their shoulder height, 26 ft long, and 18 tons in weight.

9) There was once “woolly” rhinos.  The oldest known fossil of one comes from about 3.6 million years ago in Tibet.  These strongly resembled white rhinos in size and shape, but they had hair and were well suited for cold climates.  These rhinos were often depicted in cave drawings and it is thought that they went extinct around 10,000 years ago, possibly due to being popularly hunted by humans and, more likely, diminished due to drastic climate changes that occurred around that time- The Younger Dryas stadial (the Big Freeze), which started around 10,850 BC and lasted around a thousand years being the culprit.

The mammoth Paraceratherium

10) In Asia, only the Sumatran (Dicerorhinus sumatrensis), Indian (Rhinoceros unicornis) and Javan (Rhinoceros sondaicus) species survive today. Each is either on the endangered or critically endangered list.

• The Indian rhino used to roam across India up to Pakistan, Nepal and Bhutan and down to Burma and Bangladesh; today it is found in small groups in limited places in India and Nepal. Members of this species have one horn that can be anywhere from eight inches to three feet long. Males can weigh up to 7000 pounds (3.5 tons) and stand over 6 feet tall! The Indian rhinos’ numbers, however, have been on the rise, having grown from about 200 in 1900 to just over 2500 in 2007.
• On the critically endangered list, the Sumatran rhino faces extinction. Only 250 adults remain today and populations are expected to decline by 25% over the next 20 years. Formerly found throughout Southeast Asia, as far west as India and as far north as China, today it is only known to reside in Sumatra and parts of Malaysia, although hidden populations may exist in Indonesia and Myanmar.  The Sumatran rhino is the smallest of the family, standing about four feet high, stretching to about 10 feet long and typically weighing less than one ton (about 1500 pounds). This is the only Asian species with two horns, and its largest horn can reach about 2.5 feet in length. Because they stray into high altitude habitats, Sumatran rhinos have a fair amount of hair.
• The Javan rhino can reach 10 feet in length, stand over five feet tall and weigh over 4000 pounds (2 tons). The males’ horns can reach 10 inches in length, while the females are hornless or have tiny bumps.  Sadly, the Javan rhino is also facing extinction. There are about 50 individuals remaining in the wild, in the Ujung Kulon National Park, and none in captivity. In 2011, a subspecies in Vietnam went extinct.

11) The Black rhino (Diceros bicomis) is found across southern, central and southeastern Africa. Male black rhinos can reach 13 feet in length, stand over five feet tall and weigh up to 4000 pounds (2 tons). Their horns are typically about 18 inches long, although overachievers have been known to sport horns that were nearly five feet long.  It has been reported that up to half of the males and nearly one-third of black rhino females die from infighting. To make matters worse, heavy poaching has decreased the population from about 70,000 in 1960 to 15,000 in 1981 to a low of bout 2400 in 1995. Of the four subspecies, three are listed as critically endangered and the fourth, the western, was declared extinct in 2011. On a brighter note, the remaining subspecies’ populations have rebounded a bit through strong conservation efforts, and as of 2010, their numbers had grown to nearly 5000 individuals.

12) There are two species of white rhino: northern and southern. They can grow up to 15 feet long, stand over 6 feet tall and weigh over 7000 pounds (3.5 tons). Both have two horns on their snout, with the larger (in front) averaging nearly 3 feet and, on the truly exceptional, reaching almost 5 feet.  Sadly, the northern (Ceratotherium cottoni) is nearly extinct, with no known individuals existing in the wild; those that remain are so few, that we know most of them by name: Suni, Fatu, Sudan and Najin.  Conservation efforts with the southern white rhino (Ceratotherium simum) have been a wild success (pun intended). In 1900, only 100 individuals were known to exist. Today, over 17,500 are alive and well, mostly in South Africa.

 

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Duck Successfully Fathers A Chicken, A New Hope For Extinct Species

Because genetically modified food has been working out sooo well for everyone, scientists in Dubai decided to take their experiments a bit further. The Central Veterinary Research Labratory originally injected a duck’s DNA to produce eggs and sperm into a chicken hoping to make more fertile hens. But when the chicken produced duck sperm, the researchers decided to take things a bit further. Now, we have ducks fathering chickens, and it might not stop there. Mike McGrew, a scientist at the Roslin Institute who works closely with the Dubai team, gave a TEDx talk this year about the additional plans of the research. The idea is to apply the current research and have chickens give birth to a variety of different bird speeches, from songbirds to eagles. And ultimately, McGrew believes that the technique can be used to breed endangered animals or even bring back extinct ones. While most of us would be excited to hear of a plan to help endangered species and even bring back ones we couldn’t protect in time, I think I speak for the entire staff of Blisstree when I say, “What the what?” There’s no getting around it. The collective response of the team here was a few moments of jaw-dropped sputtering and a couple audible gasps. I believe the general consensus was best described by Sam, “I’d like to take this moment to voice that science is totally amazing/crazy/terrifying.” Animals giving birth to other species of animals is definitely terrifying. The researchers in Dubai are working with the same people who cloned Dolly the sheep, so it shouldn’t really be shocking that they’re pushing the boundaries to test what’s possible. Genetics aside though, I have to wonder if our energies wouldn’t be better spent trying to protect the habitats and food sources of our endangered species, instead of looking for new ways to grow them. After all, the animals might be able to take care of the breeding themselves if us humans just gave them the space and time to do so. It doesn’t matter how many eagles you birth to chickens if they don’t have any safe place to live or food to hunt.

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