Alright, so I've been sitting here at my desk all day long . . . staring at the computer with glazed over eyes . . . trying to figure out what to write. I feel like a zombie. Well, if I actually knew what a zombie feels like then that is what I think I feel like. Are those things on I Am Legend zombies? Maybe not, because technically they're not dead yet. Zombies have already died, right? And come back to "life"?? Anyway, I think I feel like one. A zombie, that is.
All I really want to do is go home, put on some sweats, grab a blanket, lay down on the couch, turn on the tv and then put myself into a drug-induced 12 hour coma. The dog can sit on me, my husband can steal my blanket and turn on ESPN when he gets home. I don't care. He can even sit on me with the dog. I just don't care. If the drugs are good enough, I won't feel or hear a thing.
Problem is -- I still have two hours to go. These are going to be the most unproductive, useless, "why am I here?" two hours in history. Although, I guess if I'm being honest, it's going to be hard to top the first six most unproductive, useless hours in history.
How the heck can you feel good one minute and the next minute you feel like . . . well, like crap? I thought you had to kind of work your way into feeling sick. You know - - a little warning. Not BAM! You're sick!! Guess I was wrong. Cuz BAM! I am sick!
I am not ashamed to admit that I love drugs. I know that probably sounds bad. I live in Washington state where the progressive (misguided?) residents recently voted to make marijuana legal. That's not what I mean. I don't do THOSE kinds of drugs. I mean NyQuil, TheraFlu, cough syrup with codeine - - I get giddy for those kinds of drugs when I'm sick. I am not a homeopathic kind of girl. No herbs or bees wax to cure what ails me. Oh no, not for this girl. Give me the good stuff.
And so I will go home early from work. I will take those drugs and drift away into my own version of a teenage wasteland. And when I wake up - - BAM!! - - maybe I'll feel better.
Oh, and one more thing. Did you know that starve a cold and feed a fever (feed a cold and starve a fever??) is really a myth? That's good for me because I never lose my appetite when I'm sick with a cold. So, when I wake up from my drug induced slumber I think a bowl of peppermint ice cream will make me feel even better!!