.....love, love xo

So silly these days...everything that touches my heart makes me cry...

and this does it...when I think of you.

xoxo

....your loving is a miracle

I've been in  a place of being close to tears a great percentage of the time....it's recent...last week or so...and it will pass.  Not just sad tears, or tears of loss...I thought of our twins the other day and my sweet daughter's pain...... I've cried for joyful things too...friendship, love, sunsets and a fawn I saw in the early morning hours....so many gifts.. I've been in one of those places when the connection with a true kindred spirit can allow me to open because I know they 'get' me....

emotion doesn't scare them....

 I've been told all my life that I am just too sensitive...

this mostly from well meaning family members....

as I child I would cry so hard during animal movies

 people would leave their seats to come and comfort me...

I'm not that free with where and when I cry now......

many, many people aren't comfortable with displays of emotion.... I spent much of my life trying to numb my too sensitive self....for yearsI tried to drink my feeling away... now sober and wiser I realize how important it is to have safe people and places to let those feelings out....the good stuff and the hard stuff.......

and my emotions have been on display these past few days...

and Saturday  night...

oh, Saturday night was so amazingly, lovingly, of the earth, magically.....emotional...

and so safe.

I attended a spoken word  performance/art show at one of the local galleries....

it was amazing...and so many friends where there.  I so wish I had some of the poetry to share here....they were wonderful enough to publish and share with the world....

.they were about human emotion....love, dying, letting go, making love, time, Buddha, nature, God...

 And so spiritual....not surprisingly since so many of the performers were my Positive Living Center family members.  The poems that touched me most were about letting go.....letting the river, the wind, move fear and loneliness and sorrow and expectation down and away to where ever the river flows.  

My sister/friend Sheyla touched me so deeply that the tears begain to flow almost without notice.  She is a minister at PLC...wise and beautiful...and her words went straight to my heart.  Our eyes met and she knew.  Later, during the intermission, she found me outside, put her hand on my heart and said, 'sweet julie,  too tender for the world'...

but she didn't mean it as a fault...but as a gift.... as an understanding....

Love...it is what makes the world go round.

the lovely goddess Claire Blotter...the muse for the event. She is an amazing spoken word performance artist who resides in the Bay Area.  This is the 3rd time I've seen her perform.

Artist/friend jon Bock...our host and one of the performers

Sheyla

The cast and artists..

Marie...two of the dancers/models, I apologize for not remembering their names, they are beautiful...Michael, joyce.....

joyce, Sheyla, jon, Claire, Kim, Ed, judy, David behind judy, Franka....

I don't know the man on the end, sorry.

Still high from the night of release and opening I got up Sunday morning and went to The Positive Living Center for a little more connection.

Our quantum physics speaker explained it all in 20 minutes...the power we have.  The energy that flows between us.  He spoke of the power of our thoughts and how when we come together with the same goals and project them with laser sharpened intensity things can't help but manifest.  He pointed out how time and time again scientist have tried to prove that we don't have this energy flowing between us and around us, and how time and time again they can't.

We have truly wonderful musicians show up at our Sunday gatherings and today one of the songs was

 'How Could Anyone?'

  

As joe sang and played his guitar we were asked to sing along and direct the words to the person sitting next to us.

Not being a singer, I decided to just take the hand of the woman sitting next to me...someone fairly new to plc, I don't know her well...but as our eyes met, her face changed and I could see that she was also holding back tears that need to be shed....

and I realized once again how important honest, heartfelt connection is to us all...

and how rarely we chance letting it happen.....indeed, even fight it....

What is that about anyway?

....lies of omission and other fun stuff

No one can lie, no one can hide anything, 
when he looks directly into someone's eyes.
Paulo Coelho


I was thinking about the reasons people lie....
It seems there are as many different kinds of lies as there are people 

who tell them....

I think we all do it....lie. 

There are the little white lies of course...

 most of those probably go out into the Universe with little or no impact...unnoticed...I think you know the kind...
How are you? Fine....

I was just going to call you...
I fell asleep
You look great!


And there are the lies that get told when

 when someone wants to avoid an issue or calm a situation.,,,or crate one

Lies are told to protect others...these are often considered noble....
we tell lies to protect ourselves from the possible consequences of the truth...

and of course from punishment...

or to hold on to something or gain something.

 we agree to tell each other lies 
to hold on to the status quo...
group lies can be a comforting way to avoid truth.

People lie to improve their image....
humans tend to exaggerate and bluff, to impress or mislead. 
Lies get told to gain control of a situation 
or to control another human..

Corporations and Spin Drs. do it all the time....
to control us.

Lies of omission...this are nasty things, lies of silence...
withholding of information
 thus leaving a false impression, 
allowing a false belief....
these lies can be most damaging

People who spin the truth for governments often leave out important bits of information in their desire to control how people might behave
 if they had the full truth....
Corporate news does it all the time..omits important information...

Omission is a suppression of the truth...

 Some say a lie of omission is not a lie at all, but that's a lie.


Among other common lies, we have the silent lie...the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth.   Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
Mark Twain

Then there are people who lie for no reason...

they lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.  

And they will continue the lie even when the truth is evident....

these kinds of lies make me me feel out of balance.  
I call it being gaslighted.

Most likely when someone says they will never lie to you...it's a lie..


I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.
Friedrich Nietzche

And of course there are the lies we tell ourselves....sigh..

but that's another whole issue...

....telling stories

The healing that can grow out of the simple act of telling our stories is often quite remarkable.  ~ Susan Wittig Albert What is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. Audre Lorde Last night I sat at the table with my family listening to my daughter tell stories of her two month long journey in India.....She told about the poverty, the smell of burning garbage, begging and youthful entrepreneurs who saw her as money.  She told of the postal systems, arbitrary closures of the post offices and not having stamps for purchase, 'come back tomorrow.'  She told of the difficulty of trying to mail a small package from a village in the Himalayas.  Being told she needed to take it to the local tailor so he could sew a white cloth pouch around it and also make the correct address label, which also needed to be of white cloth and stitched to the pouch.     She told about being stranded in a small unknown town and how it is a little scary but how in this otherworldly land  she could afford a taxi to a safe hotel, which would not be the case had she been stranded in L.A.... and she told about her 'Goa Tattoo..a large circular scar from a burn she acquired while riding the  small  Honda motorbike she road each day and the varies medical advice she was given to keep her safe from infection...she told about the dull Indian boys and the beautiful ones.....she shared the magic of  buses that are decorated flags and bells, and how they play infectious music for the travelers... she told of hang-gliding and haggling... ...she told us about her new sister who traveled with her for a bit and there plans to meet again. As she spoke I saw a different young woman,....one who spoke of her love for a place so 'real'.... India in all it's chaos and glory and how she can't wait to return...  I saw her new self-confidence for having negotiated it alone...... she is braver in the world... I know her better through her stories, see her stronger.   I had a brief encounter with a woman selling jewelry at  our local 'Peddlers Faire'......She commented on my amber ring and told me how a friend of hers had actually found a very large piece of amber in Mexico and how it had an insect frozen in flight inside.  How her friend had been offered a lot of money for it....but won't part with it.  She told me that it felt magical to hold it.  I remarked that there is magic everywhere.  She agreed...and told me how she sees all that is wrong in the world but she stays hopeful that caring people can turn things around.  She told me how she is often called a Pollyanna...but how at the end of the day she has many reasons to smile... I told her how I am told I live in LaLa Land several times a month...and she took my hand and said, "I welcome all from LaLa Land" ...our eyes met and  we felt the connection of two hopefuls in the world. As I backed out of her booth to move on and join my friends, we folded our hands in prayer and honored our moment of connection with a small bow ....it happened that on that day I was feeling a little wary of  LaLa Land as a negative andI was lifted by the recognition of my sister tribeswoman.... Stories are everywhere, we all have them just waiting to be told. We journal and keep diaries.... Technology today makes it easier than ever to reach out and connect through blogs and social networking.... Pictures of family, friends and travels fly around the internet.... People are communicating as they never have before.....we long for stories that will shift us into connections with other humans. We are showing  who we are...finding our commonalities.... Stories allow us to step into another human's reality.  We learn from each others laughter and tears.  We don't have to agree..but we can but we can be respectful of our differences. Passing down of stories makes us stronger in the world... we feel our history and  when we do we understand better who we are... It is my hope that with our hearts inside our stories and in our listening,  we will find we have more in common than we imagined.  ...that mostly we all want the same things.. to walk tall in the world... held up by love of family and community,  .....to feel safe on this little blue miracle. I don't think we can have community without sharing our stories.... but we are telling, and at some point we will see each other as one tribe,  and maybe then we will no longer have the stomach to exploit the land and it's people, we won't accept war as the answer to every disagreement and manufactured fear.   We will find the peacemakers and give them voice... We will address the greed of a few who are destroying so many and so much. Let's tell our stories. "No one can lie, no one can hide anything,  when he looks directly into someone's eyes." Paulo Coelho "Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker.  When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging,  "intensely interested listening, our spirits expand." Sue Patton Thoele "The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the ordinary." Ralph Waldo Emerson

...letting go and moving forward

Intentions compressed into

words enfold magical power.

Deepak Chopra

It’s 2011...I am so ready!!…

I’ll bet you've spent some time in reflection about your 2010 experiences…I have too.  
I probably started right after I got back from the San Francisco show..,,,

It is amazing to me how much took place in the last 52 weeks…
changes in my personal, spiritual, and my art life.....
of course they are merged. 
 A change in one area has effect on the other two…
it’s  good when I keep that in mind.

2010 was very good to me…filled with memorable experiences and teachers…
Many doors opened for me…. 
I felt an instant kinship with many new people who came  into my life… 
Some came and went quickly, others have stayed long enough so that we are experiencing change together…walking together for a while…
I have been blessed with people who lift me higher....
and those who challenge me...

Friend Vivian mind mapping New Years day...

Inspiration is intention obeyed..

Emily Carr

And now it is time to set my intent for the new year....
I don’t do New Year Resolutions….
I think they set me up for failure…but I do believe in setting intent…
.I like to really think about what it is I want to welcome into the new year…
then send the invitation out into the Universe…

for this I need clear vision….and I'm not quite there yet...so many possibilities..

I believe the more precise the intent is, the more likely it is I will see the opportunities to help me along the way to attainment…
When I set an intention I don‘t know how I’ll get there 
But I believe by sending it out to the Universe and opening up,
 I am calling that future, 
that dream toward me…
pulling that destiny into my present moment……
I believe the Universe will show me the path……


I  look at the word attainment and I think it isn’t material things I want, it is experiences…
I am wealthy with possibilities and in many ways it is because of all the creative people around me…
I look at the people in my life and I am amazed by the incredible wealth of knowledge and experience they share with me…
they are a kaleidoscope of love and creativity sending out this wave of  good stuff that trickles down and around and inspires me to be better.

And even as scary as the world sometimes looks to me, I still have the belief, the hope, 
that things are changing for the better…

that there will be a shift and the world will wake up. …

I believe the Tribes are gathering for change…

that’s us….

One of my intents is to continue to create my figures…

I think art is a powerful force in the world…

I think the stories we share are powerful too…

Our experiences are usually very different than what we hear from corporate news…we don‘t have to accept what they tell us is reality…we don‘t have to believe in their wars, we don’t have to buy into the ’us’ vs. ’them’...we don't have to accept that there is lack..
not enough to go around....…


This is a small planet and we are in this together..... we don‘t have to be afraid of each other…most of us want the same things, family, friends, freedom to choose our life path, 
a safe place to call home, love...

 He is a reason to care...


The news that is broadcast to us all day, everyday is filled with bad new and things to keep us afraid of each other
...it‘s surprising any of us leave our homes…the people who deliver the negative to us everyday are  fear mongers, intent on keeping us afraid and in the dark…
separate…
but we are not separate…
we share this little blue planet…and our intent can make a difference...
and we don‘t have to walk  alone…
we can gather and support each other in our vision of a peaceful world..
an abundant world....
holding on to that vision, that intent,

the belief that we we can be the change we want to see in the world…step by step…
it is up to us…
I can make a difference…I believe together we will make a difference...…

Intention is the core of all conscious life.
It is our intentions that create karma, our intentions that help others,
our intentions that lead us away from the delusions of individuality
toward the immutable verities of enlightened awareness.
Conscious intention colors and moves everything.

Master Hsing Yun