Oh Rotty Deck, It's Time to Go
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Curtis Loew
Sunday, September 14, 2025
0 commentsYou looked into my eyes, came forward
Pressed your forehead into my breastbone and
the world went still and fell away
And with it, any doubt that
You were coming home with me.
You'd been chained near Gallipolis
the first four years of your life
and when you got loose, you chased four-wheelers
Fought with other dogs, ran like a deer.
No chains from now on. Not even a leash.
Curtis, you won the lotto. But.
If you wanted your freedom
you had to come home. That was the deal.
I had to trust you. You had to come home.
First a bell, then a tracker, and we settled in. My hair went gray.
Three hours was my limit. Sometimes, five.
And then I'd suit up and come find you, sometimes hurt, always sore
But living the life you deserved and most wanted, at last.
A leaner, a hugger, a wagger
Deeply loving, never overbearing
Clean and quiet, barking only on the chase.
Not much for toys, you played with rabbits, coons,
and once a bobcat, who raked your side and drenched you in piss.
One year, you grabbed four skunks, perfecting your hold.
I gave you these woods, these fields
Good food, warm beds. You led us through grief
with your solid body and velvet ears,
the steady gaze of your chestnut eyes.
The soft curl of you by my side in the mornings
Toenails on the stairs, then the whump of your landing on the bed.
Six years, six months and twenty-two days were not enough by half.
But I got what I got. Cancer made the call.
My house is empty and I am gutted
Barely quelling the rising howl each time I look
and find you gone.
Curtis started coughing around Thanksgiving 2024. His guts had been a mess for a few years by then, and no fancy food or probiotic could touch it. On July 2, a nasty-looking chest X-ray sent us to MedVet Columbus, where he was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. Rare in dogs, and untreatable, they said.
Oh, I said. So this is how it ends. So soon.
We recalibrated our hopes, begged the cosmos for time to get us through Phoebe and Óscar's wedding on July 26. We told no one, kept working like mules through our grief to build the happiest day of their lives. If that sounds backward and hard, well, it was. God knows, there is enough sorrow in this world, and we wanted our guests to see and greet him as well and whole. So we held it all in. For them, and for him. That boy hung in there, wore a laurel collar, and, as the only man in my life, walked me down the aisle.
Then, the slow fade, the growing grief, the knowing, and the end. If wildlife rehabilitation has taught me anything, it's knowing when an animal is finished.
Curtis Loew
December 1, 2015-September 12, 2025
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The Brushpile That Wouldn't Leave
Thursday, September 11, 2025
0 commentsWe planted it in September, 1999, just about this time of year, 26 years ago, when I was big with Liam in my belly--he would be born only two months later. A palm warbler landed in it just as Bill and I stepped back from laying a running hose at the base of its slender, whip-like trunk. It was a weeping willow. The palm warbler's benediction seemed like the ultimate good omen. I remember the bird was backlit in the willow's small leaves, and wagging its tail, and Bill and I were agog.
Six years later, here is Liam, growing tall, setting up a dangerous train trestle on the old deck railing. And there is the willow, trying to touch that railing.
It grew so huge in such a short time, it covered the entire lower part of the yard. I'm pretty sure it was dipping into the septic tank by the time it was this big, too. I had fought Bill hard about planting a weeping willow, but he had sentimental memories of a willow from his childhood in Iowa, and could not be persuaded to plant a native tree like serviceberry, instead of Salix babylonica. Boy did I learn a lesson, but it was a lesson I kind of already knew. And by the time that tree crashed down, it was entirely my problem to deal with.
When he said we also needed some mimosa trees, I DID put my foot down. Have always hated those things. We'd have a small forest of them here had I yielded to that one. Sorry, B. Most of your big ideas were pretty awesome, but some just didn't fly.
The huge willow had started to die by the time a derecho came through on December 11, 2021. I heard a resonant fwump! from the studio and there it lay, snapped off at its rotten base.
Would you think it would take me until late May 2025 to get rid of a dead willow tree? Well, it wasn't for lack of trying.
I had my friend Mike Crum haul it out to the meadow that spring for burning. Or at least that was the plan. I've learned a lot about willow wood since then. Learned a lot about myself, as well.
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Jurassic Garden
Monday, September 8, 2025
0 commentsI was absolutely racing to get the garden finished and the peas planted before I left for an April bird festival in Arizona. When I got back they were well up, and I had to do a thing backward. I had always intended to line the sides of the garden wall with foam, to protect them from moisture and to keep any wood preservatives from leaching into the garden soil. Well, thanks to the same-morning delivery of the soil, I didn't have time to do that before I had to leave for the festival, so I settled for getting the peas planted and figured I'd deal with it when I got back. Oh my, what a tedious job it was to do it after the peas were up.
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Friday, September 26, 2025
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