Life Without Distractions: What is left?

The pandemic has brought many changes to our day-to-day lives and most people have found this challenging in some way. What has happened and what can we learn from it? Lockdowns, restrictions, rules... No more travel (or a lot less), no more socializing (or a lot less) and no more going out / entertainment (or in a very restricted / limited way). In other words, you could say that Covid regulations have removed people's distractions, at least to some degree. With a life stripped of its distractions, what is left is the core of your life.

So this is a really good time to evaluate your life: What is left when you remove all the distractions? Are you happy with your life if there is no escape from it? Because if you can be happy with the core of your life, then not only is there no need for distractions, but it also gives you the confidence that you can be happy even in challenging times. You will have a great foundation for your life from which to create, build and expand, and this will give you the opportunity to build up reserves in good times for the more challenging times. Most people do not have these reserves, because they already live a life on the edge, where even in neutral times their life is evaluated - on balance - as just "doable". We need to aim for better than a doable or manageable life, and aim for joy instead! An abundant life filled with inspiration, freedom and peace of mind, coming from the very core of your life's setup. And yes, this is possible!

I think at this moment in time many people are finding that they are not happy: The life they were living was only manageable because of the distractions and temporary escapes that they had built into their routine. They made life manageable by implementing 'solutions' that only targeted the symptoms, but not the root cause. But now that we can no longer remedy the symptoms, we need to look at the root cause. Many people are getting divorced / breaking up, making plans to move to a different home / location / country, reconsidering their job / career options, etc, because they realize they don't feel comfortable where they are without regular and reliable escape-options.

I consider these shifts and changes that are occurring a good thing, even though it may seem drastic and radical at this time. However, it is a great way (and necessary) to find out what we really want: we can restructure our lives from the core, and see what really brings happiness. It's never distractions that bring happiness: those are just temporary forms of relief that might make life more bearable. But what is at the core? And what would you like the core of your life to consist of or bring to you in order to live a happy, free, peaceful and fulfilling life?

In this sense, Covid is a blessing for many. We get to re-evaluate our lives with a very clear understanding of what is structural and permanent, versus temporary and fleeting. We can also learn to distinguish clearly between temporary delights / excitement (diversions) and permanent happiness (joy). The latter is a more peaceful kind of joy and also more durable, lasting even in challenging times and stressful situations. This sense of peace is crucial: if you don't feel that at least in addition to the excitement, you are likely dealing with a diversion instead.

Lastly, like any other challenge in life, this pandemic can make us creative: How can we still do the things that make us happy, despite current restrictions? These are valuable questions, and they may lead you to discoveries about your life you would not have made otherwise.

So reap the rewards of this pandemic, and evaluate your life today: What is at its core? Does it bring you true, lasting happiness? And if not, or not entirely, what is it that you really need, and which steps should you take in order to bring this into your life?

Remember, it is never too late to change, and today is a great day for it.

Gratitude in Challenging Times: Everything Is A Gift

Many of us have had quite a turbulent year, and not just because of the pandemic. Of course it is easy to see the gifts in events and situations we evaluate as positive, but the biggest rewards come when we are able to see the gift in everything… EVERYTHING. This year has given most of us a particularly good opportunity to learn and practice this, and now we can reflect on this year and see if we can recognize the gift in all of it.

Challenges always have a gift
Being confronted with a challenging situation is always an opportunity. It offers you a choice in how you are going to deal with it or react to it, an opportunity to learn about yourself (to see who you are and how far you’ve come), and usually also an opportunity to give. And giving or responding with love is a gift to yourself as well.
Often we can see the gift of a tough situation in hindsight, but we can also train ourselves to see it in the moment. That was the focus of this year for me. Can I see the gifts life brings as it happens, as the events are unfolding? And it turns out, I can. Maybe not always instantly, but often not long after. And so can you.
If you are looking back on a grim year that had nothing to offer, think again. Make it a challenge to look back on the year and find the hidden gifts that were there all along. Look for the gift in each moment, especially the challenging moments. Stay present and in touch with your emotions – they can guide you like a compass. Look into the present. Really, look into it. Go deep. Fully open up to it. Where are you holding back? Where are you resisting? Where can you let go? If you fully surrender to the present moment, then you’re bound to find the gifts. You will find that life can never stop giving; it always gives to those who are open. Once you see it, it will be overwhelming. Can you handle it? Can you be open to it? Can you surrender to it? If you can and you do, then you will find only beauty, bliss and blessings.
This is the secret: you can only receive a gift in the moment if you are open to receiving all of them (in that same moment). So don’t close yourself off from the challenges life brings, because then you will also close yourself off from all the love and joy and fulfillment in those times you perceive as challenging. So if you are feeling depressed... what gifts are you missing?

Emotions each have their gift
We tend to see emotions as either negative or positive (and want only the positive), but they are neither. If we can get in touch with our emotional world, and stay connected with it without judging it or suppressing it, and without being overwhelmed by it nor dismissing it, we can always be peaceful, connected, balanced and even joyful. Emotions can be (and often should be) seen as separate from the triggers that seem to cause them; this is a way to observe them objectively and take in their message. Emotions keep you connected to your Self, and show you how to navigate through life, coming out stronger and more balanced. Emotions show us where personal growth, healing, or a shift in perspective are needed, or where we are resisting something or holding on too tightly. In combination with thought, they are a compass for finding our way. They always point us in the right direction, if we know how to listen.
Here are some emotions that some people would label as ‘negative’ and the gifts they bring:

• Anger: Anger is a sign that someone has crossed your boundaries, or (most likely) that you have crossed your own boundaries in some way (like not listening to the signals of other emotions, or doing things for others just because you feel like you have to in order to get accepted by them). It can also be an attempt to suppress a (seemingly) more painful emotion such as sadness, and an attempt to experience a (false) sense of control over it. Anger can help you set boundaries, be assertive, communicate your needs, or be a sign that you lost touch with some suffering underneath the surface. In that case, try to slow down and find the pain that is hidden underneath.
  

• Sadness and grief: Urge you to slow down and take notice of the pain, and to direct healing to where it is necessary. It urges us to look after ourselves and engage in self-care. Sadness is an exercise in healthy self-love. It also shows you that you care, and it can easily transform into gratitude if fully felt/experienced.

• Worry/Stress: This is a chance for you to do a reality check: are my worries realistic? What evidence is there that these thoughts are true? What evidence is there that they are not true? What would I tell someone I loved if they were in this situation and had these thoughts? In this situation, what is the worst that could happen? In this situation, what is the best thing that could happen? Are these thoughts hindering me in major ways in my life, preventing me to achieve or pursue things that are important to me and/or could bring me a (deeper) sense of fulfillment? Asking yourself these questions can help you determine whether it is best to avoid the situation, or develop a skill and/or courage to overcome your limiting beliefs. Usually, working to overcome your limiting beliefs is the best choice of action here, because you can always avoid the situation later if you still feel the same about it afterwards! But then at least you are not avoiding it out of fear or worry, and you can make a more balanced decision. Fear, worry and stress often cloud our judgment and when left unchecked might make us (not) do things that we'll regret later (sometimes many years later). Recurring worries might indicate that you need to let go of the need for a secure future. There is no such thing! Worry and stress can also be signs that you would benefit from some serious self-care strategies: get some rest, read a book, take a break. The world often looks much brighter after a good night's sleep!
  

• Guilt: Guilt is a sign that we have done something that is in conflict with our own values. If you see it as something that can guide you to be a better person or to set things right, then things will turn back into balance very quickly. And it will feel really good! Guilt can help us stay true to ourselves and move through life with integrity. Setting things right, or following our moral compass to begin with, will give us a strong sense of self-respect. And if you feel like you've lost your way... it's never too late to set things right and start over!
  

• Fear: Fear can be an alert to danger. However, most of our fears are imagined and irrational. Overcoming our fears can give us confidence and courage, and make us more complete and balanced as human beings. When fears are not adequately, objectively and thoroughly explored, it can lead to many reinforcing thoughts where we end up scaring ourselves and sustaining the problem by avoiding confrontation. So make sure to apply the reality check, find the roots of your fears, and pull them out like weeds (see also the worry/stress part). Emotions that result from thought are never pure, and as you get more in touch with your emotional world, you will learn to see the difference more and more clearly and quickly.
  

The gifts of (lost) romantic love

It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

I lost two romantic relationships this year, one at the beginning of the year and one at the very end. The first one ended because it had reached its natural expiration date - and so it was a relief when it ended. The latter was much harder to deal with, even though it lasted for a shorter time, because I didn't (and still don't) understand why it had to end. It feels like I have waited my whole life for the kind of connection we had (and to some degree still have), only to find that it is out of my reach...

When romantic love is lost untimely, it hurts. But something beautiful can happen when we stay in touch with our pain in that moment. Be thankful for the pain as well as the beautiful moments you shared together and the joy it brought to your life (which is probably still there to some extend). You can’t exclude one without excluding the other; the only way is to fully, wholeheartedly be open to both. Stay in touch with yourself; hold yourself. Take this opportunity to see that you can handle the pain; that there is no need to be afraid of it. That you can stay open and connected to yourself (and by extension, to others also), now and in the future. And notice that, when you experience it in this way (i.e. feeling the empowerment in your own vulnerability, without resistance to the pain and without wallowing in it - staying in touch with both the joy and the pain in a balanced way), they merge. This is what some call (universal) Love, which is much greater than romantic love. And in that place, when fully embraced, all pain vanishes and/or transforms, leaving you just with a full heart, overflowing with Love and gratitude.

Also, lost love is an illusion. Heartbreak is an illusion. For you can never lose the love you felt (even though it feels that way sometimes, especially when our gift of love is not received or reciprocated by the other person), because the love you felt for him or her was never theirs; it was yours. It originated from you and will stay with you, and you can always choose to continue feeling/giving it (silently or expressed); there is no reason to stop the flow of love unless we want to punish ourselves. And staying in touch with your love, the love you feel, also doesn't prevent you from saying goodbye if that is what you need to do. Love can be felt in any situation, whether from a distance or up close. The love you feel is your gift to the world. There is no way you can lose it, but the only way to feel it and be aware of it is to give it away / let it flow through you freely (as universal love, in its many forms). 

Don't limit yourself to feeling and expressing love only in a romantic relationship. Try to experience love and caring and appreciation (for yourself and others and nature) in everything you do. Love is still with(in) you; so share it, feel it and enjoy it. Whether others receive your gift of Love is their business, but really it doesn't matter, because just the act of giving is always a gift to yourself first. If you can find someone who appreciates your gift and is as open to (giving and receiving) it as you are, even better: after all, most things are better when they are shared. And don't be surprised if your gift of love (whether silently experienced or expressed) inspires others to open up in response. So don’t allow the world to extinguish your flame; instead, shine your light on the world and allow it to transform all (within and without) as a result.

Trust that life will have gifts to offer no matter what happens in the future, and let go of the need for security (definite answers) or wanting to control outcomes. Also, accept the past, as we can't change it. In other words, surrender to the present moment. That is the key to receiving its many gifts.

In one of my next posts I will outline some specific tools that I use for working through emotions and staying in touch with my true (loving) nature.

Steps For Creating A Vision Board: Reshaping Your Life

When we are clear on what we really want out of life, the universe will suddenly align in new, unexpected and mysterious ways to make things happen that previously might have seemed unattainable, highly unlikely or simply impossible. Even before I created my first vision board, I have seen this principle (of the Determined Mind) work its magic in countless areas of my life (job opportunities, travels, dumpster finds, the entire journey to moneyless living, etc). Now I am also starting to see that a vision board can serve as a great (daily) reminder of our hopes, dreams and priorities in life. It can help us remain focused on what we truly want rather than what we don't want, and it can also help us catch any self-sabotage, subconscious resistance, or doubts that might crop up (as well as blind spots, double standards and hypocrisy) so that we can nip them in the bud.

As with most things in life, the actual process of creating a vision board is far more powerful than the final product, because it brings us clarity along the way. A clear, uncluttered, conscious and determined mind is what we need to create the life of our imagination. It works because when we are clear on what we truly want and focus on those aspects of our lives, we no longer resist whatever else happens. When all our focus is on what truly matters to us - what makes us feel truly alive - then everything else pales into insignificance. It doesn't matter anymore. It falls away. It literally disappears from our world. If you no longer give it any attention, it ceases to exist. That is how you rebuild your world. You can starve the parts of your life that no longer serve you by just refocusing your attention on what matters to you most.

Attention is always selective, so it's not a matter of either focusing your attention or not. We are always in the process of creating a new world, whether we do it consciously or not. Therefore it is important to focus with awareness, so that you can create consciously. And a vision board is a great way to get started.

Here are my personal guidelines for creating a vision board:

1. Think about what you really, really want. This is probably the hardest (and most important) part. Sometimes we think we want certain things, but upon closer inspection we just believe we want them. Maybe we really want something different. Also, sometimes we set the bar too low, due to limiting beliefs. What would you really want if there were no limitations? What makes your heart sing when you think about it? What would make you excited to be alive? How would you like to feel in this world? What kind of world would you like to live in?
Make sure you don't go for too much comfort. Remember that comfort kills growth. What would make all the pain worthwhile? What would make you forget about it altogether? If it's something you can find within your own heart, then that would be even better. No one can ever take that away.
2. Make a selection of your own favorite photos (and perhaps some from the Internet for things that haven't happened yet, or that you don't have suitable photos for); the ones that make you feel so enthusiastic and happy that you forget about everything else - even if just for a moment. Photos that make you laugh, or that remind you of good times or good qualities of yourself. Next, match those photos to the themes you selected for your vision board.
3. Write a detailed description of all the themes so that it is clear in your mind what you are going for. I kept adjusting the description until just reading the text made me feel enthusiastic and happy about the future. You can read the description I wrote for my themes in the second half of this post.
4. For each theme add affirmations, action steps and perhaps even powerful songs that make you feel happy, enthusiastic, empowered or peaceful - such as this one.
The most important steps to manifest your dreams are step 5 and 6:
5. Make sure your thoughts, words and actions are all in alignment with your goals. This helps you to stay mindful and alert of possible limiting beliefs that need to be worked through as well as self-sabotage (e.g. inaction).
6. Completely let go of any outcome and realize that your life is already wonderful as it is. Enjoy the process of becoming.
Whenever I look at my vision board - because of the happy pictures I have chosen - I am reminded how great my life has already been so far and I would not want to waste a moment of it by focusing on what *might* be missing. If you focus on what is missing in your life, you actually miss everything that is already right here, right now, making your life wonderful. Looking at my vision board I also feel excited about what's yet to come - on such a deep level that I know and feel that I would not want to settle for anything less than the highest vision (depicted on the board). If it were to require some time to materialize, it would be so worth the wait - no matter how long it would take. And even if my dreams would never materialize at all, it still wouldn't matter because I am living my truth authentically. This is what life is about for me. Time no longer matters when you have chosen your highest vision. When even time loses its significance, looking at the vision board makes you feel like you are already there, celebrating your life as what you envisioned. And when your mind is no longer in the way, that is the truth.
7. Review your board from time to time and change it as you change.

Creating a personal vision board is a fun, empowering and freeing experience. The mind is a powerful force. It is important to remember that. Therefore, take it seriously, and spend some contemplative time on the first step. Your focus can literally change the world. If we make our focus too narrow or focus on things that only benefit ourselves, we run the risk of becoming blind for others' experiences, and others' suffering. However, if we focus on creating values that benefit all beings, then we can transform the world together.

My 3-Year Moneyless Journey In Review

It has been almost three years since I started the Stop Shopping Challenge, and since I started this blog. Also, with my PhD almost coming to an end, I feel that this is a perfect time for review.

Granted, I have not lived 100% moneyless for the entire time (only for about 2.5 years with some breaks in between), and I have not lived solely off of nature (without any help from others) for more than a few days. For example, I have still used tap water for most of the time and (public) internet connections. This is why I prefer to define the journey as a 'rewilding' experience. But what's in the name, right? For me it is the experience that counts.

The experience was about letting go of the attachment to money. The way I chose to do this was to find ways to live 100% without bills and without spending money (with just a few exceptions).  Because living moneyless took the focus off of money, it allowed me to reconnect to everything that brings real, tangible value to my life: friendships (with humans and other animals), food, nature, meditation, etc.

We all grow up with and get used to the idea that money is what gives us access to everything we need. Over the years, we start to (unconsciously) desire money and we forget our true desires. In exchange for choosing money over everything else, we lose our connection with everything that has real, inherent value. Nature, love, friendships, time (being present). It becomes an unconscious fixation and obsession for most of us that gets connected to everything we do. We start living more in the future rather than in the now; always working for a better life somewhere down the track.

We don't realize how deep this (dis-)connection goes until we start letting go of it. We long for money because we think it buys us what we really need and desire, but in fact it is a sham. Money has no value and chasing empty goals can only bring misery in the end. When we let go of this illusion, we can see clearly once again.

Here are some of the things that my moneyless journey has helped me do.

Being mindful and observant
I see more because I was not part of the system for a while. This new way of life has given me a new perspective for looking at the world. It is easier to observe the forest when you are not walking through it. It is easier to see the water when you are not submerged in it. And similarly, it is easier to observe society when you step back and cease to participate in it for a while.

Living in the moment
Without the fear of losing a job or the pressure of having to make money to survive (knowing I can always count on nature), it is far easier to relax and enjoy the moment. Stress is a thing of the past when we can live the way nature intended: without worries about the future, in the abundance of what nature provides, flowing with the seasons. I have also learned to have more patience and to accept (or love) things as they are, which is easy to do once you see that nothing is static but rather in a constant state of change... no matter how slow. I have learned to trust life and to believe in miracles. I know everything that needs to happen will happen in due time. This doesn't mean I have become complacent. I have learned to step up to the plate when I am able to do something to help another being without causing harm. And when it is clearly not up to me, then I have learned to let go without losing sight of what part I could help with. When I feel a strong need for change, I won't assume it is beyond my control without trying first. Thinking outside the box encourages me find new ways to help.

Appreciating what I have
Gratitude is something that developed within me naturally on this journey. In my experience, money often brings a sense of entitlement, and it can result in people taking things (as well as each other) for granted. When you live in closer contact with nature and observe keenly, you realize that while everything is given freely, you are not entitled to anything and nature doesn't owe you anything. Neither do other people. Therefore everything is grace, and while I remain conscious of this I don't take anything for granted. Habit can make people unconscious, and that is when we stop appreciating things and other beings. When we get too comfortable, habit slips in. And habit destroys our consciousness. Don't let your comforts lull you to sleep.

Building character
One of the biggest benefits of this journey was that it helped me to be the best version of myself. It inspired me to look within constantly, and to look at the way I relate to other people. It inspired me to have high standards of myself in my relationships with other people, because this way of life connects me to people in a different way. This lifestyle clearly demonstrates our interdependence - with each other as well as with other species - and it motivates me to be at my best and to help others whenever I can. Also, working on myself, exploring the boundless depths of my being and uncovering all that I am is the best way I can contribute to a better world.

Currently, I am still living mostly moneyless, living mainly off of food from supermarket dumpsters, supplemented with foraged and homegrown foods. I still dive at least two times a week, and preferably daily. I still marvel at the waste of society and will never forget what I have come to understand about society and money. However, at the same time moneyless living is no longer a compulsive goal for me at this time. This doesn't mean I will give it up in the near future, even though perhaps I may become less rigid about it for a while.

Having said that, I am still aiming to set up a sustainable, self-sufficient home base somewhere. I have no desire to be part of a system that doesn't serve me (nor other people, other species or nature). I will not give up the consciousness and awareness I gained through this experience. I will stay present and remain aware and observant. I will keep my eyes open to the truth, and see what is happening around me, beyond how it is presented to us by the media or people in power who have a vested interest in certain perspectives being pushed onto the public. I will keep questioning everything so that I can keep living my own truth, and not anyone else's.

Thanks to Dörte Giebel for this picture :)

(You may also enjoy reading The Moneyless Mindset vs. the Exchange Mindset: What moneyless living has taught me)

Making A Vision Board

For the past few weeks I have been suffering from a broken heart. I 'met' someone online and we had a great connection: shared ideals, shared plans for the future, similar values, great communication and a shared passion for self-sufficient lifestyles. Due to living in different parts of the world we hadn't met in person yet but we talked via chat and on Skype. And then suddenly everything changed. I am not sure what happened. Maybe the excitement wore off for him, or maybe he was afraid of taking the next step (meeting), or maybe there was someone else in his life. I don't know. All I know is that it was over. He never actually told me why or what happened. He just found ways to shut down all communication between us, and after a few months of trying to reconnect (and merely getting vague and indirect answers) I think I have to conclude that he no longer wishes to be a part of my life. I will never know what might have been.

Of course, rationally, I can tell myself this is a good thing. After all, it would be much easier to be with someone who wants to share with me what is going on for him, even when this is difficult to do. Situations and feelings can always change, but when things are not working out as you hoped then it's fair to let the other person know so that they can either do something about it or move on with their lives, instead of leaving them hanging - and guessing - for months. So rationally I understand this wasn't such a good match after all. But still, it hurt.
A lot.

I contemplated what it was that made it so difficult for me to let go this time and I realized there were three things:

1. For me, meeting someone who has similar ideas and values and who actually wants to create a similar kind of lifestyle is a rare event. From this it is easy to conclude that perhaps there aren't many people who have similar life goals to mine, but it could also mean that I don't meet enough people and/or that I go to the wrong places to meet them. On top of that - as I wrote in my previous blog post - I move around a lot, which makes it difficult to build and maintain lasting friendships. So it will be important for me to start meeting more like-minded people; not just people who live far away, but also people who live nearby. And the more people I meet, the bigger the chance that some of them will have similar values, goals and dreams.

2. At least some of the time I doubt whether the kind of person I would like to share my life with exists at all (and whether they are within my reach). The first part of this is connected with the previous point: because I believe that I am looking for a rare combination of qualities. But maybe this is just a matter of being in the wrong crowd. Also, I have to remind myself that it is not necessary to find many people like this - just one will do.

3. Another subconscious belief that came to the surface is that sometimes I feel like I am not good enough as I am, or that I somehow have to earn love; that I am not lovable just the way I am. In those moments, I feel like I have to convince others that I am worthy of love. Of course when someone loses interest, it reinforces the story - even though it probably has nothing to do with me.

These realizations finally motivated me to create my First Ever Vision Board to help me focus on shifting these tendencies, and it was SO much fun! I highly recommend it :) You can use a program like Vision Board Builder. I started off with a colorful wallpaper image to get the beautiful background colors, and layered the other images over the top.

Here's a breakdown of my vision board:

LOVE (and friends)
For me, 'practicing life' is about unconditional love, towards myself and others. Universal love goes beyond preferences and all other types of judgments. Love is joy in its purest form. It is a practice; a way of life. 'Issues' that come up in relationships with others can teach me what I haven't realized yet about myself, or show me what I have to let go of.
Love is free: free of attachment and free of demands. Love is connection, sharing and openness. Love is about being myself around others, getting comfortable being uncomfortable for the sake of personal growth. Love is about bringing out the best in each other, and looking for the best in everyone I meet. It is about bringing joy into other people's lives, because I know and support others' deepest wishes and desires and support them as much as I support my own, without the imposition of my own agenda. It is about honest self-expression, and therefore also about listening with compassion when others share their world with me. All of this starts with knowing myself, accepting myself, and loving myself- not superficially, but unconditionally.
Romantic love brings two people together who want to explore the depths of self-growth and unconditional love, and share the best and the worst of life's experiences with each other in order to learn and grow. Together they build a strong bond so that they can take each other to higher/deeper levels, explore all facets of life together and be each other's mirror and inspiration.

TRUST
Without trust there can be no love and without love it is difficult to trust. The trust I am talking about is a fundamental (and therefore unshakable) kind of trust: a deep knowing that whatever will happen is what needs to happen. Moreover, knowing that what happens is always the best possible outcome. Trusting that life will always bring me what I need and even what I ultimately want, even if I don't realize it at the time. And trusting that everything that happens in my life is designed to bring me happiness and freedom. Everything is a gift. So far this has always been true for me - without exceptions. It just takes me a while to realize it sometimes.

PEACE
Inner peace is the absence of stress. When I experience stress, I look to my mind to see what causes it. When I experience peace, I can see that I am connected with truth - in the flow of the present moment without resistance or attachment - free to respond naturally and spontaneously. Even the slightest amount of stress is my wake-up call. Peace is always present inside and stress is always caused by me. That is empowering knowledge. I can choose peace at any time. 

CREATIVITY
We are always creating, but what we are creating depends on our inner states. When we have trust, inner peace and an awareness of love, then our creations reflect that. Creation is perhaps one of the most magnificent wonders of life, because it can be a way to shine a light for others, simply by expressing what is true for you in the moment and what is important to you.

In my experience, gratitude is not something that needs direct focus because it results from living in a harmonious and present state of mind. Trying to ‘be grateful’ doesn’t work, because you are trying to get an effect without putting in the required ingredients first (or more precisely: without doing the work that is required to uncover it). It might feel inauthentic or forced. I only included it as a measure for progress. I also included fun and health, because sometimes I particularly forget about those two aspects of my life. It serves to remind me to check whether I am eating healthy foods and whether I am making time to play and have fun. It is important not to take yourself too seriously at least some of the time.

The picture in the center of the board is one of my favorite pictures of me because it represents all of the aspects that are important to me in one single image. I added the Tarot card on Wednesday when I did a past-present-future spread which gave me the 10 of cups as my card for the future. That happens to be one of my favorite Tarot cards and it fits very well with the themes on the vision board.


If you have a vision board as well, I would love to see yours!

What It Means To Be Successful

Success is often described in material terms. Society seems to prescribe it in terms of whether you own your own home, have a (nice) car, have a well-paid job, etc. If you don’t have a job or one that barely pays the bills, then it seems you can’t be successful according to society’s standards.

However, what matters is not how society defines success, or how your parents or friends define it. It matters how you define it. This is the only measure of success that you need to determine whether you have succeeded in life or not. It also doesn't have to be an end goal far into the future: it can be something you can achieve in any moment, over and over.

'How do I define success?' is one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves, because it can help us remain true to ourselves and true to our path when hard times arise and we have to make tough decisions. Our definitions of success change and evolve over time, because life changes and situations change as well, and our perspectives may change as a result of that. In my experience, it usually becomes simpler as we get older and wiser. We realize that success really isn’t that complicated (which doesn't mean it is always easy), and that we really don’t need that much to live a meaningful, happy and fulfilling life. We realize that it is more (or even entirely) about what happens on the inside rather than about what happens around us. That realization is success in itself - if freedom is important to you.

For me, a definition of success is only meaningful if it is something that I can achieve at any time (no matter what happens). It is about prioritizing what matters most to me at that point in time. It is always about me, because I can’t decide for others, or dictate what situations may come my way. Defining success as a personal quality that I want to develop not only makes life simpler and more enjoyable, it also helps me to see the perfection of life because everything that happens is an opportunity for me to learn and to practice. I can start over in every moment. Sometimes I fail, sometimes I succeed. It doesn't matter. I get to practice.

Have you noticed that the challenges that come to you are always the right ones? And that the people who show up in your life (and leave again) also bring you exactly what you need?

*****

How do you measure success in your life? What does being successful mean to you?

 

Taking A Break From Moneyless Living: Why I Miss It

 

Right now I am on a trip to Australia by train, which I managed to make a part of my research project. This means that I am taking a break from living a moneyless life for the duration of this trip: I buy train tickets, overnight stays and some food.
I try to stick to minimal spending, but I am definitely using money. However, from the very first day I was missing rewilded / moneyless living  already, and here is what I miss about it.

Freedom
People usually think that money buys them freedom, but this is actually not true. There is in fact a lot more planning and scheduling involved when you are using money: You have to book tickets that are only available in limited quantities, you have to book hotels or hostels that need to be arranged beforehand (also available in limited numbers) and if you only stick to using money, your travels are restricted to touristically developed areas.
You may think this buys you security at the very least (knowing you will have a place to stay), but this is not always the case either (there are always scammers around who are ready to take your money, hotels can get fully booked, you can end up in a less-than-great location or a hotel that is infested with bedbugs, etc).

Basic Kindness
It is interesting to see how just basic human kindness quickly gets lost as soon as money is involved. There have been several times here in China that people kindly offered to give me directions, but then wanted to sell me something (a ride, a ticket (far more expensive than the usual), or whatever), and then if I decline they happily send me off in the wrong direction, or lie about certain conditions. Several times these kinds of people have told me that 'the bus won't come for another hour! You will have to wait a long time!' I have time so I wait, and then of course it arrives within five minutes. It is very frustrating and quite sad to see how basic human kindness, helpfulness and love are lost just because of money. When money is the sole requirement for survival, all people care about is how much money they can squeeze out of you. They no longer see you as a fellow human being. No. They see you as an ATM. And that feels horrid. So I really miss the basic kindness and unconditionality that comes with living the moneyless life. In fact, kindness is what makes us human. It is what living beings are. Why compromise our very being and integrity just for some external reward? That is no reward. It is a punishment.

Fulfillment
Somehow I feel less fulfilled when I am spending money. Not only is there an absence of a feeling of achievement as I take care of my needs (after all, there is not much creativity or skill required when you use money: no real survival skills are necessary, and no learning or personal growth is required to happen at all) but I also feel a sense of emptiness in my day-to-day activities. This latter part is hard to describe, but I will try. When money is involved, it seems like my actions lose meaning to some degree: there is an added sense of emptiness and that causes an additional need to create meaning; a need that would not be there in the absence of money, because then each (inter)action has meaning and purpose. I am still not entirely sure how to describe this aspect exactly, but I think it has something to do with the conditionality that money creates and how it feels fake, complicated, cumbersome and draining us of our natural qualities.

Connection
I miss the sense of connection that comes from living without money. It just naturally leads to a life that is connected to everything: my fellow beings (human and non-human), the resources I use, the ecosystem I am a part of, nature as a whole... everything! There is nothing that feels as good as being immersed in and connected to life. It brings peace of mind.

Interdependence
People often say that they like the independence that money gives them, but I actually enjoy and miss the interdependence that moneyless living brings. It forms bonds and relationships that are real and lasting. It brings intense gratitude, a sense of happiness and a feeling of purpose on both sides. And most of all; it demonstrates what really matters in life (relationships). Life is all about relationships and what we can give to and share with each other. This is the meaning of life. If you live without money this is just so obvious and clear. And when money enters the equation, all of this is lost. Not just this realization, but also the very meaning of life.

I still encourage everyone to try moneyless living, even if it is just for a while. You will notice the differences and you will understand what I am talking about. You will also understand most of the current problems in the world and see the connections. You will see the solutions too. There is a way for us to live awesome, connected lives and to live in harmony with nature. There is a way for us all to feel fulfilled and live happy and healthy lives. There is a way for humans to live in real freedom (not the limited, fake freedom we have created). And contrary to popular belief, the way to do this does not involve money.

The Benefits of Train Travel

I have recently started my trip to Australia by train, and so far I am loving it! Here are some of the many benefits of train travel, especially compared to flying.

No jet lag!
When traveling to Australia by plane, usually people experience jet lag because the time is shifting so rapidly. There are also other -more serious- health concerns related to traveling by plane (especially long-distance), such as the risk of developing deep-vein thrombosis. Also, if you are traveling to high-altitude regions, there is a smaller risk of getting altitude sickness when you travel by train, because your body gets more time to adjust (depending on the route you take of course: e.g. the train from Beijing to Lhasa can be an exception if you don't make a stopover in Xining).

It brings you closer to main sights

You usually arrive in or near the city/town center, or close to interesting locations that you may want to visit, so you can rely on walking most of the time to get around. Also, if you want to travel further, there are usually plenty of buses around that can take you into all directions. If you fly, you usually arrive in a very uninspiring place and it can take a while to get away from there.

Guilin sunset, as viewed from one of the mountain tops (walking distance from the train station)

You see more along the way
While traveling by train you see scenery you would not have seen otherwise. On my trip so far I have encountered so many different landscapes and it is amazing to watch the landscape change as I travel across different countries, different climates and time-zones, and through urban as well as more remote regions. I have been traveling for nearly three weeks now and it has not been boring yet.

You get time to relax / slow down
Even though train travel is far from slow (see below) it does help you to slow down and do things you never have time for, because you are usually stuck in a space without internet (and sometimes also without electricity) for quite some time. It can be a very meditative experience to just stare out the window, watching the world go by and watching the scenery change continuously.

You meet interesting people
Because you are on a train for quite a while, often in compartments you share with other people, you get a chance to talk with them and hear their interesting stories. You can ask them questions about their home country and they can learn more about yours. I met only friendly people on the way so far and many of them were very interesting.

Raushan is one of those cool people I met along the way. Definitely a highlight!

It is more enjoyable
Because travel is slower and there is so much to see (and do) along the way, you tend to enjoy the journey more: the journey is the destination. It is the same with life, but sometimes we forget because we get too efficient in our way of thinking and planning everything. If everything happens (too) fast, we don’t get time to adjust and enjoy the road. We lose our flexibility and our flow.

Freedom

The flexibility of train travel translates directly into more freedom: especially if you don’t pre-book anything. Even when I need to get visas, I try to book as little as possible in advance, because that gives me freedom to change my plans. Sometimes you may decide to take a different route, or stay somewhere longer (or shorter) than originally planned. For example, I decided to travel through China much faster than I planned originally, because I caught a severe cold and wanted to get to the warm weather as soon as possible. Right now I am in Guilin with 20C.
Every time you need to book a ticket in advance, it is restricting to some degree. Fortunately, when you travel by train it is often quite easy to get last minute tickets (which are usually the same price no matter when you buy them, unlike plane tickets which skyrocket the closer you get to your travel date).

Cost-effective

Traveling by train is not that expensive, and relatively speaking it is much cheaper than flying if you count in all the extra places you can visit (plus considering you also get accommodation on overnight trains).

More environmentally friendly

Train travel is better for the environment than flying and can still be considerably better for the environment than car travel (especially if you travel with electric trains). I am hoping that popularization of train travel will encourage the electrification of trains around the world, which will make global train travel an even more sustainable option because it would cut carbon emissions on long-distance train travel even further.

To summarize:
As with most things in life: 
Less cost + slowing down (in this case slower travel) = more enjoyment, freedom and happiness.
I would like to add that traveling with slightly less comfort (third class tickets, staying overnight in simple locations) is also more interesting, because you experience the trip more fully and get pushed to appreciate the little things more and more. Also this way of traveling helps you to stay connected to where you are and what you are doing, and the challenges that may come with it help you to become a wiser and more balanced person. Life is no fun if you don't challenge yourself!

The details of my trip so far:

* I covered 6461 km in the first week (Helsinki - St Petersburg - Moscow - Astana - Almaty - Urumqi). I spent 356,22 Euros on train tickets for this part of the trip.
* I covered another 3793,1 km in the second week to get from Urumqi to Guilin (via Tianshui, Baoji, Chongqing and Guiyang). Tickets totaled 144,97 Euros for this part of the journey.
* That is a total of 501,19 euro so far, for 10.254,1 km, visiting 10 cities along the way.