Saturday after Racing

Wow. What a week. I'm not going to go into all the details, because frankly, it's taken too much of my time and effort already. However. I do want to comment on a little bit of it because, well, I have a blog and that's what it's here for!

I was told last night that I'm just going to end up sad and alone. This after me saying that I didn't want to jump both feet first into a relationship (I barely have time to make a PB&J sandwich, let alone try to BE with someone). He said things like, "I thought your friends WANTED you to be with someone." Yeah, they do. Someone that will make me happy! "You need to have someone in your life". I do. Lots of someone's. Just because they may not be a MALE person who is a signifigant other, doesn't make them any less signifigant. Msh, K., A., they have been there for me LONG after a guy has been! I guess I still believe in the "click". You know, it's either there, or it isn't. Why waste my time, and his, if I don't feel that? And, it's not something that you can make happen after time. It just doesn't work that way. I felt it with the past 2 guys that I seriously dated, and I felt it from that very first conversation.

I jokingly talk about my rules. You know:
1. Has to be taller than me
2. Has to have all his teeth
3. Has to have a drivers license
4. Has to have graduated from high school

5. Has to have a job

6. Better have a REALLY good reason for still living with Mom

7. Probably ought to be a US citizen (this, after a bad experiance with someone who wasn't!)
You'd be surprised at how many this eliminates!!

However, I also know what I want in a guy. I want drive, determination, and strong values. Someone who stimulates me mentally, who can make me laugh, who knows when to push and when to back off. He's got to be a hard worker, a strong family man, and stand up for himself and what he believes. And you know what? I'm not going to settle for less than that. If that means that I die without ever being married, that's ok! So, to the person that told me that:

Yes, I may die alone. But, I won't die lonely. I'll die having led a full, satisfying, well-rounded life that I enjoyed every second of!!!

Now I'm going to bed. It's been a day.

Happy "Love Sucks" day!

Ok, not really, but I saw that comment and got a kick out of it. I don't have a problem with V-day, but I remember what a HUGE deal it was in high school. Right before each period ended, they would announce everyone's name to come to the office to pick up deliveries. And, each period, you would see girls lugging around HUGE vases of flowers. Those of us not so fortunate, it was this huge flag waving "SINGLE". Now, a couple of years, I did get flowers, and it was awesome. One friend sent the most beautiful boxed set (you know, long stemmed in that white box), and NO other girl got anything like it. Very classy and tasteful, and I loved it!!! The thing is, though, that I love getting flowers for NO reason, not just birthday and V-day. It just says, even more, "Hey, I was just thinking about you, and thought this might cheer you up". The last flowers I got were this past summer and they were gorgeous, lasted forever. That saying, it's the thought that counts, and flowers popping up meant he was thinking about you. Drew sent a beautiful arrangement once, full of spring flowers, my favorite! I love daffodils/tulips/iris, things like that, and they don't do well in arrangements, but that one was spectacular.

Windy Sunday

Good afternoon! I just got home from playing with the Fire Department. They had a house that they were going to burn down, and I went to take photos. However, with the wind kicking like it is today, they decided that it wasn't safe and called it off. Too bad, but the right call to make! This week has been SLOW and uneventful! Annette and I did drop by the Drag Strip's banquet last night for a little bit. It was wonderful to see S. and her young'uns! They are getting SO big. Dinner wasn't bad, either. :-) Was on call last night, and fortunately, wasn't out all night. However, I just couldn't sleep. I'm a pretty vivid dreamer, and even though I would wake myself up, when I'd fall back asleep, I'd pick right back up again. Very frustrating!!! And, it wasn't even one of those **good** dreams, either! The worst part is not knowing if what I was dreaming about is what I WANT to have happen or what I'm AFRAID will happen. Sheesh.

Couple of people have asked, so let me just clear it up. No, I am NOT seeing Eric. The whole thing just kind of fizzled. Living 2 hours away from someone will do that. I just don't see myself doing a distance dating scenario. Heck, I can barely find time in my schedule now to just do dinner in Lexington! Now, don't get me wrong, for the right guy I could make all kinds of time, but for right now, it's all good. Guess that's it for now - I got my house cleaned yesterday so that means today is for laundry. Fun, and schtuff . . . .

Realization

I've come to the realization that my feelings for him really haven't changed.

And sometimes, just sometimes, I get the feeling that maybe his haven't changed either.