Media Influences

So much has been said about the literary influences of D&D.

Now that's all great for the theorists, historians, pundits, and commentators.

But what about the influences of the individual campaign?

You know, when referees sit down to design their campaigns and adventures, I really don't think they are wondering if they're staying true to the influences of the game. Obviously someone well-versed in those influences is going to internalize them and they'll show through to some degree no matter what, but I think a referee's choices can make it perfectly clear what's influencing them, what drives them to create and go through the bother to run a game for other people in the first place.

So... I challenge the role-playing blogosphere (and I know you are reading... :P) to name the primary influences in your personal game, so we get a flavor not of what set of rules you decide to use, but what kind of game people can expect to play with you! Minimum five. No maximum. Plus include what people might assume influences you that you actually reject. Bonus points for detail and explanation!

Mine:

Dario Argento This guy's work is awesome. Even when he's bad, he's evocative, and when he's good, he's great. His films combine dreamy fairy tales, brutal and explicit violence, murder mysteries, and often odd sexual situations. I mean, what kind of sick freak writes and directs a scene with his daughter getting violently raped? ay ay ay. But the sense of wonder in films like Suspiria and Phenomena, the complete mind-freak of Inferno, and the classic whodunit? of Tenebrae and Deep Red... And I'll be honest, when I imagine the set-pieces that I set up, I imagine them in the rich colors and sweeping tracking shots that are an Argento trademark.

Edgar Allan Poe The master, above all others, ever. Description and atmosphere galore. Fall of the House of Usher. Ligeia. Masque of the Red Death. Murders in the Rue Morgue. Just, everything. Everything, even his journalistic essay about furniture, causes the brain to blossom and expand in ways that modern writing just doesn't do. ahhhh, when I describe locations and try to impart atmosphere into an adventure for my players, I am attempting (and badly failing, I might add) to channel Poe. And his poem Alone, awesomely turned into music by Arcturus, could have been written about me.

HP Lovecraft Of course. Isn't it too obvious to say this? Dark and dreaming and uncaring gods beyond the understanding of mortal man. It's important that adventurers in D&D never feel at home in the lightless, foreboding places they explore, or else the essence and atmosphere of the setting is lost. The dark gods are the dark gods. They have no stats, no motivation, no physical presence. They just inspire insane cultists to perform sadistic and blasphemous deeds in their name. And their places of worship will drive you insane. It doesn't matter if you're first level or thirtieth, when you are on the turf of the gods, all you are is a pesky little mortal. Did that shadow in the corner just move? Oh sh--

Jules Verne and HG Wells Maybe this is cheating by naming them both as one choice, but 19th century science fiction is just the best. Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea? Journey to the Center of the Earth? How about Wells' Invisible Man? Island of Dr. Moreau? Time Machine? War of the Worlds? Lots of strange things, wondrous locations, and bizarre happenings in these stories. I also like how a lot of what happens is beyond the control of the protagonists in the story, and their victories have nothing to do with their power over the antagonists. I'd love to get away with a War of the Worlds-style adventure... where the PCs can do nothing but run, the enemies go away on their own, and the meat of the thing is in their interactions with other survivors, and their own introspection. I have no idea how to pull that off in a way that doesn't come across as "haha, wimps, see my awesome monsters overpower alla yous!"

Hammer Film Productions Now I'm not the most well-versed in this sort of thing, but I've seen a few (Captain Cronos: Vampire Hunter!), and they all largely had a very similar visual style, and they unanimously treated their subjects dead serious, as if these situations were actually happening to these people. But, and I don't know if it was a result of the time period's filming technology ( I'd suspect not because other films of the same time period didn't look or feel this way), but there was also an unreality that permeated everything. That juxtaposition of unreality and in-story seriousness makes every one of these things classic... whether it's Hound of the Baskervilles or Rasputin the Mad Monk... films such as Blood on Satan's Claw and Witchfinder General, while not Hammer films, cover much of the same territory and have a similar style.

Bonus dude:

John Carpenter I hate to say this, because on a lot of levels he's a bit of a hack. But when he's on... fuckin' a. Assault on Precinct 13, imagine that turned into a D&D scenario. You're defending a fortified position, not hoping to win, but hoping to break the attacker's morale so they break off... for now. Not victory, but waiting for a relieving force on the way. The Fog is almost too obvious in its adventure applications (by the way, I'm talking about the originals, not the shit-ass remakes). Escape from New York is almost set up like a cliche D&D adventure, going from encounter to encounter with a major railroad. :P The Thing... come on. :) Isolate the PCs, and have a monster that takes you over without you knowing it, but the referee notes what the infected character does when he's on his own. It would be a cruel, perhaps campaign ending campaign (of course the PCs having magic would mitigate this... if they used it right), but damn... I can dream, right? Big Trouble in Little China is a good template for an action-adventure adventure, and Prince of Darkness could be great gaming.

What are not influences:

Dungeons and Dragons Is this heresy? I don't look to the rules to tell me what the game is about, and I don't pull inspiration from adventure modules. OK, maybe Tomb of Horror. Deconstruction or playing with tropes is just... no! Don't do it! I don't want to recreate the past, I don't want to pay tribute to what used to be. D&D, the traditional stuff, is merely the language I use to express my ideas through gaming. I'm fluent enough in D&D that I can play and make art with the language and not just speak in literal phrases. That it and I share literary tastes make pre-2e D&D quite compatible with James Edward Raggi 4e.

Lord of the Rings I love Lord of the Rings. Love it. The book version, not the movies. It's awful for my gaming preferences though. The overarching history, involvement of Great Powers in the here and now, wise old elves, a distinct lack of... civilization, and... I dunno. I don't want to be Middle-Earth.

... and who knows what's not entering my mind at this moment that I could write about.

LotFP: Corrupting Innocent Girls Since 2008

A couple months back, I was hanging out with Aino (Creature Generator artist and cover model, age 18 and three months when she did the cover and started on the art) when her mother called from back home. Apparently she'd wandered into Aino's room and saw a couple copies of the Creature Generator lying around... and wanted an explanation.

Currently I'm working with Laura (new Insect Shrine artist, turned 18 this past Friday, after starting the piece of work in question) in getting the goblin kitchen illustration just right. Her mother came in and saw what she was working on... and this was the message I got while on messenger with her yesterday: "Oh god. My mother just came to my room and looked at my drawing... My mom said this is absolute sick piece of shit^^ this is too brutal for her^^"

I'm pleased about this. I'm a longtime metalhead/horror movie freak, and I can only assume what might be gross or disgusting to a normal person, because I'm immune to it. And for me, it is imperative that this goblin kitchen (and later, the torture chamber) be as explicit as possible... because goblins are too-often thought of as some toothless generic low-level fantasy menace, and they need to be seen as a true menace and deadly enemy of mankind. When it comes to establishing why the goblins should be taken seriously and evoke a true reaction from the players, I don't think it'll be sufficient to tell you... I want to show you.

Today, I was concerned that the art might mysteriously disappear. I've been assured: "I've hidden them in a secret location, heh^^" So they'll be safe until they're finished and then scanned.

In the Pipeline...

Some ideas about what's going on at LotFP: RPG as far as original published works...

The Creature Generator has been picked up for re-release, into retail stores, by a larger publisher... no names as of yet as they want to wait until there's a release date before making an announcement.

Deranged and Insane: The Lunatics of the Stone Hold Asylum adventure is currently in production. The artwork has been commissioned (Aino Purhonen again, with maps by Matthew James Stanham), as has the writing for the prop journal. The writing of the Asylum location is mostly done as well, which wasn't difficult since I'd had the entire thing written up for my home campaign in the first place.

Insect Shrine of Goblin Hill. I really need to cut the bullshit and get this done. I mean, really. It's a lot of different things thrown together, it is an ambitious project, but all of the personal grief that's now associated with this needs to be bypassed. I've commissioned 10 pieces of artwork from another local artist, Laura Kristiina Jalo (sample work here), so as that starts coming in, it should re-ignite my passion for getting it done... reading through some of the stuff I have here (I haven't even looked at the actual goblin hill/insect shrine bit in quite awhile) is just NUTS and I really need to let people see it. Some of the material from the inn portion of Insect Shrine has been submitted to Fight On! and hopefully it'll be in the upcoming issue.

And then I have crazy ideas for the next thing. (That's me, looking too far ahead, too soon!)

Buccaneers of the Bahamas!

OK, let me explain. This idea has been batting around my head for quite awhile. It would feature a few things:

• Frequent, if not constant, use of all those naval rules that never seem to get used. And lots of underwater action.
• Random island generation allowing for ongoing "sandbox" play and plenty of weird options - something that can be used for any seagoing adventures in any campaign, not just for use with this adventure (I'm real big on that, adventures that have material useful for more than just that adventure).
• A hands-off moral approach. The setting for the adventure is going to be based on the Carribean, hell it might BE the Carribean to go for a real historical angle, and that means there are slaves all over the place. It will be upfront but the adventure will not pass judgement. It will even force some squickiness: Slaves are possessions which have value. The game gives experience for treasure gained. So some "treasure" will be... slaves. Will the PCs treat the slaves as property and therefore see them as a source of experience or not? An evil little question designed to create a little tension at the game table.

I'm hoping to have the Asylum thing out in the summer with Insect Shrine fast on its heels, and then if the seaborne adventure indeed follows that up (and I won't start work on that until the other two are FINISHED), before the end of the year.

So realistically, maybe before 2010. Dammit.

Branding and Marketing for Future Releases!

... so is this a great idea or a C&D magnet? :P

LotFP: RPG Audio Promo

More on the artwork for The Random Esoteric Creature Generator for Classic Fantasy Role-Playing Games and Their Modern Simulacra

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Design Notes for The Random Esoteric Creature Generator for Classic Fantasy Role-Playing Games and Their Modern Simulacra

'allo 'allo... Just some notes talking about what went into the design and development of The Random Esoteric Creature Generator for Classic Fantasy Role-Playing Games and Their Modern Simulacra.

It was originally supposed to be a little filler of a feature in the long-delayed Insect Shrine of Goblin Hill. Unfortunately, to do it correctly was going to take far more than a few A5-sized pages, and as I continued the project and believed it to be worthwhile, I knew that it was going to be its own publication.

The goal was to keep the thing small enough to use the smallest postal rates to keep the price down. I dislike fancy production values in RPG products, and I dislike paying a lot of money for them as well. Getting anyone to buy something I wrote was going to be hard enough without making it expensive, or expensive to ship. The least expensive postage rate going overseas is 1,40€, which is over two dollars nowadays. That sucks. And it only allows 50 grams for the envelope.

Also, everything had to be done on the cheap. Really, I'm broke and have no money. As in, I have 75 cents to my name as I write this. Probably not the best idea to become a publisher at this point in time, but when I can print something, I do it, and make everything else follow it in terms of priorities. If I waited until I was ready, I'd wait for the rest of my life.

Sales potential for a systemless publication intended for use games out of print for twenty years, with no marketing or name behind it, isn't that great, so having a "proper" press run wasn't going to work. I decided on 200 copies.

So combine "cheap" with "short run," and you get "the local copy shop." It's not fancy, but it's real, and it prevents the problems of POD printing. Really, I think it's maddening to order something and then wait for it to be put together, and then wait for it to come in the mail.

The weight requirements to keep the price down meant that I couldn't have a cardstock cover or more than 28 pages. The small font size isn't really a result of that, as LotFP has been mentioned as "Lord of the Fine Print" for many years now.

It was still going to cost more than I wanted. I would have loved to say, "$5 American, postage included," but the exchange rates prevent this. So I decided that people who order will get the pdf for free.

After finishing the tables and having people look them over, I was stuck with a bunch of white space on the page at the end of most of the tables. I wanted every section to start on its own page to make everything as easy to spot as possible. I'm no stickler for what one is "supposed" to do in publications, but I didn't like all that white space.

So I started drawing monsters myself to fill the space. I've had previous bad experiences with artists not delivering work, so I figured if I did it myself, I'd have nothing to worry about. The problem is that I suck at drawing, and it took a long time to come up with ideas that I could execute without making myself puke. And I was going to publish this?

The idea for the cover was originally just going to be an adventurer, with all the cliche gear, including a 10' pole doing a perspective trick, with a creature emerging out of the darkness behind him. An adaptation of that idea became the back cover... because I had this little little sketch of a mantisgoatwoman, and a wicked idea. I "learned" to draw from wrestling magazines and comic books, so my sense of human proportion is all artistically fucked and I can't even attempt to draw women at all. I had this friend that I'd been talking to online for a couple of months, and she was good with Photoshop composites. I approached her with the idea of making the mantisgoatwoman a photo thing instead of a drawing. She went for it. I was stunned. We've even met a few times now (once to sign the contract for the artwork, after I'd already gotten most of it... her boyfriend and several of my friends were present for this and they were all much amused). Aino is an actual friend! Yay! Anyhow, she had a bunch of problems getting the mantis arms to look right, but eventually she turned in the artwork that went on the cover. I was ecstatic! This was awesome!

The inspiration for putting that on the cover has to do with a few things. There's precedent for it, sort of, on the cover of Eldritch Wizardry. And when I was a nine year old reading the Monster Manual, the thing scared me. Those pictures of undead freaked me out. I wouldn't read the book at night for a long, long time. But the idea was that the creatures were supposed to be threatening, and the artwork should have a creepy vibe to it. Maybe my abilities as an artist didn't make that happen for every picture, but that's where ideas like the "parasite" (page 26) came from. "Yes, he has snakes coming out of every hole! Wait a minute. Every hole? Why not...?" And then there was all the nudity in the old D&D books, especially on things like the sylph that showed pubic hair, well, I thought that I owned something that I shouldn't. Like it should have been forbidden. The hysteria around D&D at the time probably didn't help. And I remember the absolutely ridiculous controversy around the cover artwork for Dragon Magazine #114. I was 11 and I thought it was a non-issue.

So I thought it would be very cool and fitting as a tribute to the past, without being stuck there, including all my weird feelings about the art as a youngster, to have something like this on the cover. At one point there was discussion about it being a full-frontal nude picture. The exact conversation involved the fact that if it's a human torso and goat legs, then the crotch is included in the torso. I did give specific instructions that Aino was not to do some porno pose like she's in Penthouse or something, but if she's just standing there, it was fine. Obviously that didn't happen, whether Aino seriously considered it or not, I don't know, but you can see that the hair on the crotch doesn't quite match the hair on the legs. It's probably bad form to post about it when I haven't talked to Aino about it, but it's interesting trivia and I was afraid if I asked her about it afterwards it would come across as, "I want to see your cooch now, please." Not the situation I want to put a friend and collaborator in.

Now the cover didn't turn out as planned. My graphic design skills are shit, and the printing method used isn't so excellent for photographs (although I've had good results with the music zine before). It's a bit dark. You can still see it just fine, but it doesn't "pop" from the page at all. The promo version online looks much better than the actual printed thing, and I was so glad I'd already decided to offer the pdf for free with an order because the cover art looks so much better there. People will see it as it was meant to be seen with no added fuss.

The overall presentation really was an easy decision. To me, half-size books are much more convenient and easy to handle. Why people insist on full-sized books is beyond me. The "trade dress" was going to be simple. I had no wish to ape old D&D cover designs, and frankly I think it's sad that many simulacra publishers choose to do that. This isn't a fossil we're dealing with here, it's a living game and we're declaring ourselves the heirs apparent to the creativity of Gygax and the rest by attempting this. We should be bold! (and I hadn't even read the thoughts of James Maliszewski and others on the subject yet).

The cover art situation taught me several lessons:

#1 - Don't bother putting the title on the cover. I know it goes against all marketing wisdom, but my releases don't have in-store distribution and probably never will since I'd feel like a shyster and a thief doing a retail markup of 60% above and beyond whatever I felt my personal profit should be. If it's not in a store, then who gives a shit if the proper branding and marketing schemes are used? Whatever web page you buy it off of will be listing the title anyway.

#2 - For the future, I should use cardstock covers, and perhaps go color. It'll be more expensive but the cover should look excellent, especially if Aino can execute some of the ideas I have in mind. I don't care about what is considered good production values in the industry at large, but I do care about the stuff I put out looking good to my standards. My disregard for "shiny and glossy" doesn't mean I want my stuff to look like crap! The products themselves will be more substantial so it's not like I'd be charging more just for a fancier cover.

The interior artwork was going to be the standard line art. I don't do it just to be "old school." Line art is just much easier to reproduce during printing without everything screwing up, and I'll always print in a dirt-cheap way. Fancy production values in a book do not enhance actual play one tiny bit so I resent paying for them when i buy things, so I will not inflict that pain upon others. I have no wish to provide product for people that aren't going to use it in their games, so all the collectors that never game, or "bookshelf fillers" who just like reading RPG books can go stick their head in a toilet for all I care. I'd originally thought to say they can "fuck off and die," but the idea is that they should start actually playing, not be permanently unable to. Although collectors that buy multiple copies so they have one pristine copy and one play copy are A-OK with me!

On April 1, I was ready to print. I had all my drawings done, the text was ready. Aino was just going to submit another drawing, and that was going to be it. When I saw her drawing, I stopped the presses. She could actually draw! That submission was the dog-thing now found on page 20. I immediately asked if she could re-do all the drawings I had done. She did, copying my work perhaps a bit much, but improving the quality on most of the pieces 100%. Here's an example, with my art above and Aino's below:


I think her work looks better than mine. She knows how to shade, for one. Now because I had already been ready to print, and I hadn't published anything in almost a year and a half and wanted to get this out, I rushed her. I bugged her almost daily for status reports. As a result, a couple of the pieces aren't as good as they should have been, and that's all my fault. She's already got the specs for the next project and she has months, not weeks, to get it done. I predict that we will all be impressed with the "improvement" she makes because nobody's breathing down her neck every second. (No pressure, Aino. No pressure. :P)

So that's the story about the artwork. I haven't talked much about the writing.

The bulk of the product is simply random charts and tables that generates a creature for use with classic fantasy role-playing games. But it couldn't just be charts. It needed an introduction and a proper wrap-up. Now, the introduction had to be contentious. A statement of intent. I know it's not "professional" to swear in a publication, and my antagonistic "edition wars" attitude doesn't help me make friends, but I'm not here to make friends and be part of a big happy scene. I'm here to challenge, make people think, get them fired up, and provide a gaming supplement that will be genuinely useful. Yeah, I call a certain company "those fuckers," but I'm also challenging the traditional audience's approach to the original game. "The idea of a standardized monster list for anything other than exemplar purposes is probably the worst thing that happened to role-playing," is a powerful statement, I think. It definitely doesn't match with the accepted common wisdom of... well... anyone! I would hope that people reading that actually think about it. I don't care if they agree with me in the end or not. That's not the point. I want them to engage their hobby instead of just going through the motions with it.

And I enjoy a strong author in game books. I know we're "supposed" to as neutral and accommodating to as wide an audience as possible, but that's not the kind of book I like to read. I like Gary Gygax sounding like the God of the Game telling me that, "YOU CAN NOT HAVE A MEANINGFUL CAMPAIGN IF STRICT TIME RECORDS ARE NOT KEPT." I like Ron Edwards telling me how games should be designed in the pages of Sorcerer. It doesn't matter if I agree with them or not, I'm not offended! Why is anyone offended or put off by this? I don't understand.

And my writing will reflect who I am. A new friend of mine, who'd known me only a few weeks, picked up the Creature Generator and told me it sounded like me from the very first sentence. That's a compliment to my writing, I think. And yeah, sometimes the language I use is coarse. I guess sometimes I use words unnecessarily, although moreso in speech and maybe this blog than in my serious writing (I do try to avoid using "colorful" language unnecessarily there), but sometimes saying fuck or shit says what I mean more clearly than more polite or professional wording can. This isn't academia, and writing in creative works, like RPG books, should seem vibrant and alive.

After the fact, I'm pretty pleased with the Creature Generator. Yeah, the cover turned out a little dark, yeah, some of the illustrations aren't world class. And yeah, I've found a few typos since printing it (and I had someone look it over for that damn it!). But I think it does what it's supposed to do, I think the mechanics work, and I think everyone that runs a classic RPG can enrich their game by using this thing.

After postage and printing and artwork costs, my "profit" margin on this project is 40 cents per copy. Aino is earning more than I am per sale. The bitch of it is that I still think it's expensive. I want to do print, so that means expenses, so that means charging, and I am a horrible, horrible businessman, and an even worse salesman. If I could afford to print them up and give them away for free, I would. Promise. But I can't.

So buy a copy if the idea of having a random creature generator sounds at all useful to you. Please? :D

So what is a Flame Princess, anyway?

I guess I should get this out of the way.

The entire Flame Princess concept started in 1997 when I was surfing heavy metal websites and came across the site of this one Finnish girl. She'd linked some bands, so... anyway. I'd never seen anyone that looked like that before, and it started my fascination with Finland and long red hair all at once. :P

At the time I was writing awful fiction about an awfully Elric-y concept with dimension traveling and swords. Not that I'd read any Moorcock at that point in time... I'd just kind of reassembled a Moorcockian idea after reading a lot of things directly influenced by Moorcock. Funny how that works, and boy was I pissed when I actually got hold of an Elric book.

Now the email link on that girl's site didn't work (she'd already abandoned it), so I had no concept of her as a person. Just some pictures. So I created a mythology (as I often do around women that seem brilliant that I can't get close to) around her, and she was dubbed the Flame Princess, specifically for inclusion in my fiction.

When I figured out that was going nowhere, and I began my music zine, taking the Flame Princess name was just evocative of the stuff I was listening to at the time... bands like Opeth, Arcturus, Novembers Doom, Solefald, Sculptured. Floofy and poetic titles and lyrics were common features of what I listened to at the time, and it seemed a good way to differentiate myself from all the gory death metal that seemed to dominate the scene at the time.

As the years went on, I came to define myself more and more by my writing efforts. When I started to branch out in 2003 and try other writing, it seemed natural to continue to use the name.

So Lamentations of the Flame Princess is my own personal little brand name for everything. I suspect if I started manufacturing plastic cups, I'd call them LotFP: Cups.

So there that is.

I did eventually catch up with the girl that made that webpage. Unfortunately, she thought I was completely psycho and after not much conversation threatened to call the cops if I ever contacted her again, mainly because I left comments on her (public) blog... she had posted that she was going to see some concert, and I knew the band and had interviewed the songwriter several times; he knew who I was. So I mentioned to her that if she told the guy that she was the Flame Princess, he'd get it. That set her off. Ah well. That wasn't so creepy or threatening, was it?

What system to run? What system to publish for?

When I got back into role-playing at the beginning of 2006, there wasn't much choice as to what to play. Certainly there wasn't much new material out there to buy. The game I played most often in my youth was AD&D (1st edition mainly, although I switched to 2nd when it came out... I was supposed to realize at age 14 that I had a choice?). So that's what I played.

When I started another fantasy campaign at the end of last year, there were choices. The "retro-clones," or simulacra as I like to call them (it seems more respectful, and doesn't showcase working, living game systems as out of date in any way - I also hate the term "old school"), are out there, and they work.

Being a writer and a bit of a publisher, there is also the decision as to which system I should write my material for.

I suppose some musing is called for.

The Original- Dungeons and Dragons

Obviously I can't publish something directly for Dungeons and Dragons. But I can certainly run a campaign with Dungeons and Dragons.

OD&D. It's too loose for me. I see the framework and I start mentally filling in the details that later versions added. I can't see it for what it is, or leave it as fast and loose as current supporters seem to like it. I have to skip it.

Basic D&D. I've only ever seen the Mentzer version, and it's what I started on. It suffers from being spread out between five box sets (a pain in the butt when it comes to looking up spells and monsters), and the Rules Cyclopedia version seems to be too simplified a compilation with too much unnecessary material added. On the plus side, it's marvelous for being easy to set up and play, and all the dominion stuff in the Companion set is just awesome. I'd need the Basic, Expert, and Companion sets for any campaign I'd want to run, I'd want them in hard copy, and that's five books (the Expert set wasn't divided between Player and DM books, right?) with essential information spread out all over. Hmm, not so handy. And it has race as class. Ouch.

Advanced Dungeons and Dragons 1st Edition. Look at all those options! See, I look at these rules and I want to use everything. Everything. I want to do the complex initiative with segments and everything (I love the ADDICT document), and I love using the Weapons vs AC Type tables and weapon speeds - what other reason is there to have all those weapons in the game? Looking through the DMG, there is so much in there that I don't remember anyone ever using. Naval combat, sieges, sages... I just want to make adventures specifically to use all these obscure rules. The downfall of the game is the horrible organization of the rules. Gygax's writing is awesome, and the essays in the 1E books are entertaining, valuable, relevant reading. The actual rules? Spread out and disorganized in format, and often not so clearly explained (sometimes because it's spread out all over the place). Is it possible to play AD&D strictly by the book?

Advanced Dungeons and Dragons 2nd Edition. No. The rules are cleaned up and much better organized. I like how they handle the thief and bard classes much better than 1E. I even like the more powerful monsters. But the entire thing just seems so... whitewashed. In organizing the game, they stripped it of soul. Not that the soul is system dependent, one could certainly take the 2E core books and run a 1E spirit campaign, but I'm one of those idiots that thinks when you play a game, you shouldn't have to cherry-pick and choose elements of that game to use. 2E became a mess. The crap started with those kit books for all the classes, and I was out completely (not entirely by choice) by the time the rules expansion hardcovers came out. And D&D with no demons or devils? Who are they kidding? Are they publishing a game to please the gamers and fans of fantasy and swords & sorcery, or are they publishing a game to please parents and religious groups who will hate anything called D&D no matter what's in it? Argh. No. Plus I'd have to buy all the books for it.

Dungeons and Dragons 3.x Edition. No no no no no no no no no no. 2E was distasteful, but still fully recognizable as Dungeons and Dragons and very compatible with every version that came before. 3.x changed everything - the look, the feel, the game play. I don't give a shit who owns what trademark, this shit might be something, it might even be something good on its own terms, but it is not Dungeons and Dragons and calling itself Dungeons and Dragons makes me hate it with the intensity of a thousand stars going supernova. "Re-imagining" things has ruined many "intellectual properties" for me. I can't stop them, but none of these fuckers can make me accept it.

4E. Bloody hell. I have not seen one. single. thing. in all the pre-release hype to make me think it's anything other than complete garbage. Low-level 3.x play could have some appeal in a similar way HERO would with the tactical combat. My impression is that 4E just goes super-gonzo with empowering everybody and making "game rules" that can not be reconciled with the idea of a setting that makes any sense if you strip the game out of it. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's not like I'm ever going to read the books to find out (and I never hopped onto 3.x, so there's no reason to suspect that I'll be one of those "early detractor yet subsequent adopter" types). Well, OK, some of the artwork is pretty. Some of it.

The Simulacra

Castles & Crusades. Another one just for playing consideration and not publishing consideration. It's smooth and clean, it feels like the traditional games, and it does a lot. Sure, it's got some innovation, but it seems really obvious that it's trying to recreate the feel of the previously published games, and not the (then-)current version of D&D, so I count it as a simulacrum. There are some negatives though. The DC system seems completely arbitrary. "Well the adventure is for 10th level characters, so we'll set it this high, whereas if it was for lower level characters, we'd set it this high instead." Maybe I'm misrepresenting the game, I've owned the rulebooks (twice!) but never really played except a game where we had a TPK in the first half hour (most of the players didn't show that day...). Another minus is that that two core books are fairly slim, so why are there two books to buy? Why not a heftier single-volume Castles and Crusades book? This is also one of my original critiques for the game - it was advertised as a one-book game, and it definitely was not. The original book referenced creatures that were not included, just for starters. I don't think they advertise it that way anymore. At least I hope not. And the last thing I don't like about C&C (and why it pains me to say I have no interest in buying the Zagyg stuff that I'd otherwise be all over) is the dumb shit format of the stat blocks. Look at this crap:

Ifon Picton (He is a lawful neutral, human, 3rd level bard whose vital stats are: HP 17, AC 10. His prime attributes are: cha, int and wis. His significant attributes are: wis 14 and cha 15. He carries a longsword, dagger and ring of enchantment.)

The problem isn't that it's a format I'm not used to, but that the wordiness actually makes it more difficult to find the information I need in the stat block, plus it doesn't even include simple yet vital information like attack bonuses or weapon damage.. Horrible. And completely irrelevant since I largely run my own adventures so I wouldn't use this anyway, and who knows if they've changed this in the couple years since I've seen any new C&C material. But it still shows an intent on the part of the creators that makes me uncomfortable using their rules. Hey, it's my money and my pasttime, so it doesn't have to be entirely rational, does it? I'm still going to get that Engineering Dungeons book soon though. Hopefully it's generically useful with no stat blocks. :D

OSRIC. It's not a complete playable game, really. It's simply a publishing tool. The in-development second version is going to correct this I do believe, but the game it's emulating is so flavorful that I don't know that any rewrite or restatement will ever feel right. Can you imagine saying to someone, "We're going to play D&D, the OSRIC version." I can't.

Labyrinth Lord. I like it. A lot. It feels just like the classic version of the game it's emulating, but maybe too much so. I don't mind things like the traditional to-hit tables, but the race-as-class thing is just too much to swallow. Even moreso that the race/classes are so limited in levels. Maybe for halflings I could understand. Maybe. But dwarves and elves living hundreds of years and being unable to reach human levels of achievement? That's an ancient artifact and should have been left out.

Basic Fantasy Role-Playing Game. This is my current game of choice, over the second-place AD&D 1E. AD&D character generation can take an hour with unfamiliar players. Really. Mathematical computations with saving throws with demi-humans, all those class and race abilities and language computations. Plus pull out the second book and look up secondary skills and aging modifiers, and, and, and... Sure, you could just not use all that stuff, but then why are you playing Advanced D&D? BFRPG is dirt-simple, and characters can be made in, no exaggeration, just a couple of minutes. Just the four archetypal classes seems a tad too simple (but I'm not happy with the extra optional classes so I don't use them) but it has race as a separate trait than class so that helps a lot. Plus it has a lot of great ideas and options. No level limits for the demi-humans, but humans get a +10% XP bonus to even them out. The Attack Bonus that 3.x introduced really does make more sense and is easier to use than the old extensive attack tables. Everything is so much easier that my preferred play-style, "let the dice fall where they may," is much easier. Character deaths don't take someone out of the game for more than a few minutes (although in-game explanations for new characters appearing may be tricky) so there's no reason to not be a hard-ass GM and require that the players play tough and smart. I only use one house rule as well: Spell-casters get an extra first level spell a day. I don't like the spellless first level cleric but I don't want to rewrite their spell chart, so that's an easy way to fix it. Using OD&D's "everyone uses d6 for hit points" is an intriguing notion but fatalities are too frequent as it is to hamper the fighter. Maybe just increasing the d4 classes to d6, with the cleric's armor capacity acting as the balance point there?

But yeah. BFRPG for me.

In addition to being a free download (as are OSRIC and Labyrinth Lord), BFRPG is also downloadable as an Open Office document... which means I can take the text and make my own digest-sized (OK, A5-sized here in Europe) booklets and have them printed up for my own convenience. This game is just made of pure, distilled awesome.

Publishing

So the decision then. I want to publish. I have almost a compulsive need to publish. And I really don't want to develop my own system because what I play is this other stuff here. It's really so stupid, because realistically, anything published for one of these games is compatible with all of them. But there's this legal landmine and everyone has to be careful and... I hate it, and I'll probably set myself up for problems sooner or later just because it's just so fucking dumb. OSRIC is D&D. Castles and Crusades is D&D. Labyrinth Lord is D&D. Basic Fantasy is D&D. WotC releases are not. That's what I believe, and at least the first sentiment is absolutely true, even if you're not supposed to say so for legal reasons. Stupid, stupid, stupid shit, to act like one is walking on eggshells concerning something everyone already knows. I'm as big a believer in copyright and intellectual property and all that, but damn this is silly. So do I get crucified now? So what are my real options then?

The Trademarks. Yeah, no-go publishing something specifically for "Dungeons and Dragons" or "Castles and Crusades." Understood.

"Systemless". I got away with this for the Creature Generator (he says, as if after three weeks he knows if he's going to get sued yet. :P), but full adventures? I'd do it if it weren't for the difficulty that listing spells would cause. Obviously, I'm not going to be one to use a lot of standard monsters. But I could just go OGL without using any of the simulacra licenses, but why would I? Sure, you're not hanging your hat on any one hook when any of them would do (and yes, I know there are differences in the feel of them, but when you're writing an adventure, the adventure provides the atmosphere more than the rules), but at this level every sale is significant and not publishing under one of these labels will cost a few sales. So which one?

Basic Fantasy Role-Playing Game. That's what I'm playing, so that's what I should publish, right? Hmm. No go. It's obvious that Gonnerman wants his game to be kid-friendly. It's right there in the first (non-game fiction) paragraph of the book, and that feeling pops up in a few other places. There's also this line in the BFRPG license: "2. The work may not be obscene in nature; in general, any work containing subject matter that would qualify for an NC-17 movie rating in the United States, or an R rating due to explicit sexual content, is considered obscene for purposes of this license." Naked boobies and serpent-gorged penises in the Creature Generator notwithstanding, I don't intend to publish porn or erotica of any kind in my gaming material, but movie ratings are ridiculous to me. Standards for what is NC-17 and what is R, for either violent or sexual content, change constantly, and hearing what the ratings board requires to get specific ratings infuriates me. I think there will be a lot of possible interpretation in the things I publish in the future that may make this problematic, especially for someone who wants their product to be "kid-friendly."
Interaction with fantasy RPG creatures involves a lot of violence and killing, games that include demonic influence, evil cults, and bestial humanoids can devolve into sadism if described and presented matter-of-factly (I fill my brain with Argento, Fulci, and Deodato films, so that should tell you where my "squick factor" is), and social life in a sword-and-sorcery game almost has to involve prostitutes... and what do you think people mean by "court intrigue"? Tiddlywinks? Not to say I'm going to use or focus on any of this in my own stuff (although the kitchen in the goblin lair in Insect Shrine isn't going to be a fun place), but if I come up with an idea where such things would be present, I do not want to feel restricted from using plain language or put things behind a curtain if the situation would benefit from not doing so. RPG writing and adventure creation are creative enterprises and I will not be censored. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of molehill here, but... better to be safe than sorry and I don't mean to cause the creator of this fine version of the game any grief. I will continue to play it as my iteration of choice.

Labyrinth Lord. I like the license terms, but... the game itself is restricted. I won't write in terms of races and classes being separate, so it wouldn't make any sense to use this.

OSRIC. Almost as a default, it's down to OSRIC. Not that it should be taken as any sort of insult, because OSRIC has its advantages. I believe the OSRIC "brand name" is the strongest of the three simulacra, which is no small thing! I believe that material released in "advanced" OSRIC formats is much easier to convert to other "basic" formulas than it is to convert the other way around. And I already naturally think in the language that OSRIC speaks, if you know what I mean.

I have a feeling that as soon as I do release something under OSRIC, my legal opinion about it being D&D will change. Obviously it's a spiritual successor to D&D, but after further reflection, it's definitely not the same thing.

Yeah.

Sample Creatures made using The Random Esoteric Creature Generator for Classic Fantasy Role-Playing Games and Their Modern Simulacra

(Originally posted here.)

I will go through and roll up ten monsters, assuming the PC groups are an average of 1st through 10th levels... no cheating, if it comes up lame, then it'll come up lame. (not that you'd ever know for sure if I was cheating...) (and it should tell you how much thought I put into "marketing" since I didn't do this in the first place!) Let's see what happens...

(and buy the thing here.)

PC Party Lvl 1

HD 3
AC +5
AT 1 Thorn
D 2d10
MV 140

Body Shape: Biped + Quadruped Combo
Basic Characteristics: Plant (Flower)
Size: Huge
Movement: Walking + Wall-Crawling
Attack Method: Spikes/Horns (or in this case... THORNS!)
Distinctive Features: 2 Faces, Hard Casing, Transparent "Skin"
Special Abilities: None
Delivery of Special Attacks: --
Combat Tactics: Attacks Humans First
Motivation: Parasite

(Comments... WHOA. A bit hairy for our beginning adventurers, but that's almost all due to the Huge size which upped the HD and Damage the thing does. I can't even start to visualize a flowery centaur-like form? Bizarre.)

PC Party 2nd Lvl

HD 3
AC +3
AT 1 Projectile + 1 Tail
D d6
MV 120

Body Shape: Biped
Basic Characteristics: Mammal (Weasel)
Size: Human-Sized
Movement: Flying + Walking
Attack Method: Projectile
Distinctive Features: Eye Stalks (surprised less often), Multiple Eyes (surprised less often - never with this combo), Prehensile Tail
Special Abilities: Detect Invisibility, +33% chance to surprise
Delivery of Special Attacks: --
Combat Tactics: Attacks the least armored foe
Motivation: Hunger

(Comments... That's one weird looking creature! An upright weasel-looking thing with a clubbing tail and loads of eyestalks... what does it shoot? Eye beams?)

PC Party 3rd Lvl

HD 6
AC 0
AT 1
D d10
MV 120

Body Shape: Serpentine
Basic Characteristics: Mammal (Kangaroo)
Size: Huge
Movement: Standard (+ leaping perhaps?)
Attack Method: Projectile (again? only a 10% chance on the table, too).
Distinctive Features: Rubber-boned (blunt weapons do no damage), Shade Form (can turn into a shadow and suprise foes)
Special Abilities: None
Delivery of Special Attacks: --
Combat Tactics: Attacks Humans
Motivation: Parasite (again, only a 10% chance to come up, and it's done so twice)...

(Comments... whoah whoah whoah. A serpentine kangaroo? Maybe it's got a snake body, a kangaroo head, and it COILS and hops around like a Q-bert foe. So what's the projectile... stinging spittle? And that shade thing... interesting!)

PC Party 4th Lvl

HD 2
AC 0
AT 1 Horn + 1 Snakebites
D 2d4
MV 110

Body Shape: Serpentine (great, people are going to think there aren't many options in this book with all the repeats. :P Damned dice)
Basic Characteristics: Avian (Swan) + Mammal (Skunk)
Size: Small (d8 creatures appearing)
Movement: Slithering (Honest!)
Attack Method: Spikes/Horns (come on dice, show the VARIETY here!)
Distinctive Features: Serpent Appendages (+1 attack, save vs poison or DIE!)
Special Abilities: Swallows Whole... nix that, conflicts with the size. Immune to Cold, half damage from cold attacks, none if it saves. Better.
Delivery of Special Attacks: --
Combat Tactics: Attacks the most heavily armored foe
Motivation: Parasite (3 out of 4? I swear, it is 1 chance out of 10... and I keep rolling a 7.)

(Comments... What to make of this then... hmmm... I'd say a snakey body, with a swan head and skunk-pattern feathers on it, but the beak is SHARP! And it's got a bunch of little poisonous snakes coming out of it. Nasty little critter.)

PC Party 5th Lvl

HD 9
AC +2
AT 1
D d10
MV 140

Body Shape: Quadruped
Basic Characteristics: Avian (Hummingbird)
Size: Huge
Movement: "Standard"... Let's call this a flying creature then, shall we? With four talons!
Attack Method: Bash... hmmm... not so sharp talons, eh?
Distinctive Features: Colored Bands, Oozing Sores
Special Abilities: Energy Drain 1 Level (ooo, it's UNDEAD), Charging Attack (double damage on charge), -50% chance to be surprised, Reflexes +2 on initiative rolls, Shape Shifting (Unlimited)
Delivery of Special Attacks: Instead of rolling, this is obvious... it swoops down to bash with its club feet... but anyone hit comes in contact with its oozing sores which is some sort of negative energy gunk. *shivers*
Combat Tactics: Always Attacks Foe Who Did Most Damage to it Last Round
Motivation: Hunger

(Comments... Nasty, nasty, NASTY surprise for the mid-level party. Holy hell. Your players will never again yell "CHARGE!" without wondering if they're about to get their asses kicked!)

PC Party 6th Lvl

HD 8
AC +8
AT 1 bite + one sting
D d6 + d8
MV 110

Body Shape: Serpentine (another repeater that shouldn't be repeating this much)
Basic Characteristics: Crustacean
Size: Medium
Movement: Standard (Slither!)
Attack Method: Bite
Distinctive Features: Glowing Eyes (surprises foes 1 in 6 LESS often), Shimmering Body, Stinger
Special Abilities: Bonus Damage - if rolls 4 more than needed to hit, or a natural 20, +d8 damage. (or we can just rule that the stinger does d8 if it hits)
Delivery of Special Attacks: (stinger)
Combat Tactics: Attacks foe with most hit points
Motivation: Fear! It feeds off the panic of its victims!

(Comments... hmmm, so this is a long, perhaps horseshoe-crab looking thing, with a mother-of-pearl shell perhaps. Interesting that "serpentine" has shown up a few times yet none of the final results would look like each other when presented in play. Probably not a major menace, but they shouldn't all be, right? Keeping them guessing is the whole point!)

PC Party 7th Lvl

HD 5
AC 0
AT 1
D d4
MV 130

Body Shape: Biped
Basic Characteristics: Mammal (Squirrel)
Size: Small (d8 appearing)
Movement: Standard (walking!)
Attack Method: Claws
Distinctive Features: Odor(decrease surprise chance by 1 in 6), Geometric Patterns on body, double the legs
Special Abilities: Bonus Damage - if rolls 4 more than needed to hit, or a natural 20, +d8 damage. (OK, seriously, that is result 85-86 on d% + d%... why am I getting repeats on my examples? :P)
Delivery of Special Attacks: (obviously the claw)
Combat Tactics: Attacks demi-humans and humanoids first
Motivation: Abomination - hates natural creatures. Polymorphed and cursed creatures will not be attacked

(Comments... tough little smelly squirrelly buggers! Not so big a deal with the little claws, but darn it they can dig in. Still, this looks like a very minor encounter for a party of 7th level, even if 8 critters show up)

PC Party 8th Lvl

HD 12
AC +4
AT 1 bite + 1 tail
D d10 + d8
MV 140

Body Shape: Quadruped
Basic Characteristics: Mammal (Panda)
Size: Huge
Movement: Standard (Walking!)
Attack Method: Standard (bite or claw?) + Tail
Distinctive Features: Hood (like a cobra), Icy Body, Speech, Blue Color, Pulsating, Bubbly Skin
Special Abilities: Drain d6 Strength, Zone of Silence, Immune to Random 3rd Level Spell
Delivery of Special Attacks: Gas- area effect
Combat Tactics: Always attack foe with least hit points
Motivation: Spawning, needs to deliver its young in fresh bodies

(Comments... This is WTF territory. Giant blue ice-panda with weakening gas!)

PC Party 9th Lvl

HD 7
AC +5
AT 1 bite + 1 spikes + Claw
D d10 + d8 + d8+1
MV 120

Body Shape: Quadruped
Basic Characteristics: Reptile (Turtle)
Size: Large
Movement: Standard- Walking!
Attack Method: Bite + Spikes + Claw
Distinctive Features: Horns (duh), Fiery Antlers (rolled "combine two" then got Antlers and On Fire!) (going to rule THESE are the spikes and these can set foes on fire on a hit as flaming oil), Slimy
Special Abilities: Improved AC, Only Hit By Wooden and Magic Weapons, Immune to Fire (half damage or none if saves)
Delivery of Special Attacks: --
Combat Tactics: Attacks Humans
Motivation: Territorial, seeks to drive people from its home.

(Comments... I thought this was going to be a weak challenge for a 9th level party, but I think it could cause a fair bit of worry, what with the FLAMING ANTLERS, and bizarre weapon immunity. Players won't forget this one anytime soon.)

PC Party 10th Lvl

HD 9
AC +7
AT 1
D d6
MV 130

Body Shape: Quadruped + Biped
Basic Characteristics: Insect (Beetle)
Size: Medium
Movement: Standard (Crawl!)
Attack Method: Bash
Distinctive Features: Metal-like features, scales, Prehensile tongue, Rubbery Body (well, basically it means attacks have a chance to just bounce off, which in this case we'll attribute to metal scales, not because it's bouncey)
Special Abilities: Large Damage Attack 3 times/day (9d6, save for half damage), Improved Saves +1 to all saves
Delivery of Special Attacks: Projectile Attack
Combat Tactics: Attacks random foe each round
Motivation: Hunger

(Comments... Well, it earned its 'high level foe' stripes with that special attack... and the defense... tough cookie. So what is it shooting? Metal shards? To do that much damage? I'd say some sort of blast... acid, maybe?)

Oh let's go gonzo.

15th Level PCs...

HD 20
AC +0
AT 1 beak
D d10+2
MV 130

Body Shape: Cube-Shaped (YES! Finally a weird one!)
Basic Characteristics: Insect (Ant)
Size: Huge
Movement: Wall-crawling
Attack Method: Bash
Distinctive Features: Blood-Drenched, Constantly Shedding (but obviously it's NOT DEAD SKIN!!!), Beak (change bash to bite), Wings (add flight!)
Special Abilities: Strike Foe Deaf, Shape Shift (2 other forms), Destroys Metal, Immune to Lightning, Degrades armor 1 point per hit (ahh, combine this with the Destroys Metal, so it only works on metal armor!), Disease - fatal in 2d10 days, Half Damage from Cutting Attacks, Destroys Weapons Hitting it (natural weapons mean attacker takes d6 damage), Strikes Foes Blind, Only Hit by Magical Weapons, Foes killed rise as another of these creatures in 3d12 hours
Delivery of Special Attacks: Deafness: Gaze, Disease: Touch, Blindness: Area Effect (40' radius, 90' range)
Combat Tactics: Attacks demi-humans and humanoids first
Motivation: Hunger

(Comments... WOW. An ant-ish cube? Maybe just a very blocky body with ant legs and head. This thing is dynamite! Attacks the senses, has a considerable defense mechanism despite the very weak AC, you absolutely do not want to touch it... I'd go ahead and call this thing demonic. )

Certainly beats meeting 2d6 orcs in a passageway, doesn't it?