A Loss of Fear

Growing up in a Russian orthodox household meant there was holy water in the cabinet, a prominent painting of the last supper in the dining room, and a somber picture of Jesus in my grandmother's bedroom that was supposed to be uplifting and calming, I'm sure, but never failed to freak me out.

I didn't realize it at the time, but it also meant that I was afraid of many things: the devil, ghosts, the dark, and almost anything you could think of that was considered "supernatural".

I also had a thing about eyes--if they weren't your basic blue or brown they also freaked me out. The thought of looking out the window at night to see a pair of glowing amber eyes was almost too much to bear, but that is another post: Click here for more about EYES

Needless to say everyone went to church on Sunday, but I protested too much after about the age of ten. My fussing got old and it wasn't worth it for the rest of the worshipers, and I got to stay home. I bounced back and forth from being a lukewarm believer, to an atheist.

Studying religions was my attempt at finding meaning, and I did learn quite a bit about Buddhism, Christianity, Taoism, and many more, but the only thing I truly gleaned from the endless studying was a bit of self-discovery.

I did not believe in the God of the bible.

Yet, like so many, the things we learn when we are young are difficult to unlearn. I realized I was still afraid to "sin", so I would occasionally attempt another shot at church or bible study. My husband is Catholic, and I always ended up in the Catholic church by default. Although the masses always left me cold, for me it was deeper. There was some kind of disconnect, and after reading the bible, really reading, not listening to what someone else said about it, I knew I not only disbelieved in the god of the bible--I did not like the premise.

I'm not going to get into the whole thing here, but when I finally let it go, when I really allowed myself to not be afraid a giant holy ghost was going to strike me dead and send me to hell for saying the lords name in vain too many times, I lost my fears.

I no longer had the feeling that a malignant force was ready to get me, I was no longer worried that the devil had me in his sights and had dark and dismal plans for my soul, and I no longer believed some bigger force in general was the ruler of my destiny. And most of all, I was no longer afraid of myself  for trying to worship a god who gave over his own son, for people he created, then destroyed, twice...but I digress.

A few nights ago I woke at 3 am. I checked the laundry downstairs and shut the lights off in the hall. I realized, ridiculously enough, that up until about a year ago this would have bothered me.

My long winded point is this--when we stop doing the things that make us afraid of ourselves, we stop being afraid of everything else, too.

xo

CURSES! Can It Happen to YOU??

DROP DEAD!

If you uttered these words, even without thinking, according to some you have delivered a curse.

Although one of the definitions of CURSE is: foul language, a more common use is: a prayer or invocation for harm or injury to come upon another. Curses direct negative energy by thought and intention to a person or family or group that are filled with HATE with the purpose of causing harm, illness, pain, or even death.

One theory behind curses is that demons get released when a curse is uttered and they are set free to follow through with the curse until it is done. If the person is "protected", either by a counter curse, Jesus, white light, or another method, the curse may boomerang and get the person who sent the curse, or even an innocent bystander. Some consider it very simple to curse another, and name calling, slander, bad thoughts, gossip, envy, jealousy, or just bad will can cause the person to suffer from a curse of oppression.

Witches are said to be able to send curses, along with gypsies, medicine men--or anyone with a dark wish or hatred toward an enemy they want to see suffer.

In Australia "bone pointing" is a curse that is said to kill its victim without fail. A kundela, the bone used in the terrible killing ritual in the Aboriginal tribes of Australia, is usually human, but can be from an emu or kangaroo, and about 9 inches long and sharpened to a point to resemble a needle. They eye end is threaded with hair from the intended victim and held in place with a gummy resin from a local bush and charged with negative psychic energy and power. When the victim is found, sometimes after months of searching, the killer goes down on one knee and points the kundela and issues a short, harsh chant. The kundela is then ritually burned. The cursed is said never to survive, falling first ill, refusing food, and eventually passing away.  More here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurdaitcha

Damien Mulkrin, author of the book When Bad Things Happen to Bad People, says you do not need to be a witch or a gypsy to throw a curse--he thinks anyone can do it--and here's how--but be warned, he says it can cause harm--or even death:

1. Rise from your bed at midnight. Sit cross-legged on the floor in a dark, empty room and whisper the words: “Evil, live, live, evil” over and over for one minute. In your mind’s eye, picture the person you want to curse.

2. As the image of the person appears to you, visualize great harm coming to him or her. For example, you might watch with delight as a car runs over him or he falls down a flight of stairs.

3. Savor the victim’s agony – but don’t forget: the misfortune you visualize is the misfortune your victim will suffer in real life. If you visualize the victim losing an eye, he should lose and eye, if you visualize his death, he should die. Carefully consider the outcome before the invocation.

4. As you continue to revel in the imaginary evil you have brought to your enemy, whisper: “Powers of darkness, make this so.” Contemplate your actions for a minute or so and then, says Mulkrin, “your work is done.”

“If you are sincere in your desire to punish an enemy, and have absolutely no reservations about bringing him harm, the curse will work,” he said.

Daniel Mulkrin is said to have vast knowledge of the black arts and is known in the world of occult. (from the blog Peach and Things http://www.peachandthings.com/2011/07/casting-a-spell-or-a-curse/)

And please note that I am NOT recommending this.

The Vatican exorcist Gabriele Amorth, a Roman Catholic priest, states in his book An Exorcist Tells His Story, that there are four types of curses. He said "Spells and witchcraft are two different types of curses." He believes that the other type is through demonic intervention--although he does not claim to know how this works.  The four types of curses are:

1.  Black Magic, Witchcraft and Satanic Rites that Culminate in Black Masses-- Fr. Amorth believes these are all similar since they "obtain a curse against a specific person by invoking a demon but without the use of specific objects".

2. Curses--Fr. Amorth believes curses spoken with true feelings of hate, especially when directed and family and during special occasions like a wedding or Christening, can have terrible consequences.

3. The Evil Eye--this is a spell that is cast while looking at the victim--not by merely casting a glance, but by casting a spell on a predetermined person with the intention of evil.

4. The Spell, Malefice or Hex--the most common type of curse, often used with an object that has been "offered to Satan and imprinted with his evil powers". Items used to represent grace, a cross, baptismal water, or a host can be turned into a malefice, or instrument of harm. These can be used in a DIRECT way--for instance mixing cursed water, herbs, or ash into drink or food, or and INDIRECT way--which is cursing and object that belongs to the person such as a photo, a pen, a pillow, or doll. Fr. Amorth says that he has found "just about everything, from colored and tied ribbons to chunks of hair tightly knotted… animals – especially mice – or geometric shapes; and blood clots. I have seen chunks of wood or iron, twisted wire, and dolls full of piercing and marks and have witnessed the sudden appearance of very thick braids of children or women’s hair" inside of mattresses and pillows of the afflicted. He has also stated that these objects are sometime not visible until holy water is sprinkled on them.

More CURSED information:

A cursed item can be passed to an innocent party, and the curse can then affect them.

Burning a cursed item can cause more problems.

You can accidentally curse someone.

James Dean has a "cursed" Porsche he called "Little Bastard"--he died in a crash in that car and it supposedly caused more injuries and pain after it was sold. See more famous curses here:   http://people.howstuffworks.com/7-famous-curses.htm#page=0

Curses can be cast on generations of families.

God can supposedly curse a whole nation for not following his will.

A curse can befall even an unborn child.

There is a psychosomatic side to curses also.

There are many cases of voodoo and curse deaths in medical literature. I read a story of a man who was cursed with bone pointing, and died in a hospital days later from no apparent cause. He was not poisoned, had no injuries, and had no illness. We could say he thought himself to death. The opposite of the placebo effect, these negative thought pattern deaths are partially a result of what we think is going to happen to ourselves, and what others tell us will.  More on voodoo death here:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/201209/voodoo-death-i

Whether you believe that demons or negative energy can cause problems if someone curses you, you may doom yourself to seven years of bad luck if you believe TOO much. Or you an be like me and know for a fact that there is not a whammy in sight that can get through my self-made Superman shield.

Or is there... 

I'd love to know any stories you may have about curses--or any you have experienced yourself. Thanks for reading :)

Read about a psychic curse in 100 UNFORTUNATE DAYS:

Day 21

The jar from last year contains my hair. Beautiful long pieces of my hair from when I was 15 years old and the sun turned it golden, in a jar of water from a well with one drop of water from Jar 1.

Jar 1 was given to me by someone I no longer know. Last year’s jar is the only jar that has a screw-on top. This jar has to be put in a dark place, behind the stairs, adjacent to where many people walk every day. Seven years from the day the jar is sealed the hair turns into snakes. The person who owns the jar has two options—1. Release the snakes. They will slither away to find any person who has wounded you, bite them, and kill them. OR 2. Open the jar and place one grain of sugar inside. This makes the snakes sleep forever, but the water in the jar is now as potent as the poison of the snake and you can use it at your own discretion and have the joy of watching your victim die.

But—the snakes know what you are planning and they will try to bite and kill you first. This happened to my mother’s aunt—and they said she died from falling and hitting the back of her head on the wooden floor.

Do You Believe in Possession? A True Story

Do You Believe in Possession? A True Story

When I was in tenth grade my best friend went to Portugal for a month during the summer.  Her health had been slightly off, so I was surprised her family was taking her on such a long trip. 

When she came home she had on a new gold necklace with a locket and a bracelet with some charms on it.  When I asked her what was in the locket, she told me she would rather not talk about it.  Eventually she talked. 

She told me a priest in Portugal gave them to her after her exorcism to keep away the devils.  He told her she had been possessed by several demons, and she should wear the charms at all times, and never open the locket. 

She told me her relatives kept her in her room for several days and nights, and she could hear chanting in a language she could not understand through the walls.  She said the night before the exorcism she could understand.

The next day her family brought her to a cave, and the priest began a prayer and that is the last thing she remembers.  They told her she fell backwards like she had fainted, and her head was bent so far back they thought she would break her neck.  Her stomach began to rise and fall, and when her eyes fluttered like she might be waking,  all four people there could not lift her.

They told her the priest said one of the spirits haunting her was someone her own father had harmed in a business transaction, and this was its way of doing him harm.

On a rainy, boring Saturday as we sat in her room she decided to open the locket.

Inside was a tiny ladder, a lightning bolt, some white cloth, dust or dirt, a cross, and several other items I cannot remember.  She poured them out in her palm, and as she was examining them she shook her hand and remarked they had burned her.  She told me they left red marks on her hand but would not show me.  I was scared and went home. 

I remember her thinking the devil was after her, and her boyfriend and I would tease her and try and scare her. 

She got sicker and sicker from an ailment that was never quite figured out, and eventually passed away from what the doctors said was Wilson's disease.

A few years after that her boyfriend fell off of a second story balcony and broke his neck.  He has been in a wheelchair ever since.

I called her in the hospital in NYC a few days before she died and her mother would not let me speak to her on the phone, but I heard her voice in the background.  Her once friendly, happy voice sounded like knives being dragged down a chalkboard, and I will never forget it.

Did she die from a disease?  Was she possessed?  Did the items in her charm actually burn her hand?  The timing of all the events was amazing, and I am still scared of the devil probably more than I should be.  There is a part of me that feels I should not be writing this, that I should leave it alone.  Do you think I should be scared?

Someone who read my book 100 Unfortunate Days said talent is usually called a gift from God, she said my book might be the one case it is not true.  One reviewer wrote she could not sleep for nights after reading it and had to stop.  Here is that review:

"I began reading 100 Unfortunate Days over a month ago. I read more than half, late at night, in one sitting. I felt an immediate kinship with the protagonist. I asked myself, had Crowe inexplicably been inside my head extracting images? Or had the worms squished their way inside, muddying up my brain? I had an uneasy feeling that the worms were already there, dormant, and 100 Unfortunate Days disturbed them. That night I had a dream or a vision of an old ghost-man smiling at me, on the verge of a laugh, at the foot of my bed. I didn't read any more for 7 days. Then i read a bit past day 75. This time i was visited by a demon troll who tried to take away my breath as i slept. I didn't read again for 14 days. I finished it today and I agree with Crowe, there should be a disclaimer before Day 1 because I am fairly certain that parts of this book may have been infected by the devil and in turn may contaminate you. That's balderdash, right? Maybe. If you are a skeptic and take this work as pure fiction from a very talented, highly imaginative authoress, go ahead and turn the page...and wish me luck tonight while i sleep..."

Maybe I will add that disclaimer...
  
I don't want to believe in the devil, but I may have to say that I do...

Protection from St. Michael--you may need it after this post:

http://www.traditioninaction.org/religious/b009rpMichael.htm

Do You Believe in Possession? A True Story

When I was in tenth grade my best friend went to Portugal for a month during the summer.  Her health had been slightly off, so I was surprised her family was taking her on such a long trip. 

When she came home she had on a new gold necklace with a locket and a bracelet with some charms on it.  When I asked her what was in the locket, she told me she would rather not talk about it.  Eventually she talked. 

She told me a priest in Portugal gave them to her after her exorcism to keep away the devils.  He told her she had been possessed by several demons, and she should wear the charms at all times, and never open the locket. 

She told me her relatives kept her in her room for several days and nights, and she could hear chanting in a language she could not understand through the walls.  She said the night before the exorcism she could understand.

The next day her family brought her to a cave, and the priest began a prayer and that is the last thing she remembers.  They told her she fell backwards like she had fainted, and her head was bent so far back they thought she would break her neck.  Her stomach began to rise and fall, and when her eyes fluttered like she might be waking,  all four people there could not lift her.

They told her the priest said one of the spirits haunting her was someone her own father had harmed in a business transaction, and this was its way of doing him harm.

On a rainy, boring Saturday as we sat in her room she decided to open the locket.

Inside was a tiny ladder, a lightning bolt, some white cloth, dust or dirt, a cross, and several other items I cannot remember.  She poured them out in her palm, and as she was examining them she shook her hand and remarked they had burned her.  She told me they left red marks on her hand but would not show me.  I was scared and went home. 

I remember her thinking the devil was after her, and her boyfriend and I would tease her and try and scare her. 

She got sicker and sicker from an ailment that was never quite figured out, and eventually passed away from what the doctors said was Wilson's disease.

A few years after that her boyfriend fell off of a second story balcony and broke his neck.  He has been in a wheelchair ever since.

I called her in the hospital in NYC a few days before she died and her mother would not let me speak to her on the phone, but I heard her voice in the background.  Her once friendly, happy voice sounded like knives being dragged down a chalkboard, and I will never forget it.

Did she die from a disease?  Was she possessed?  Did the items in her charm actually burn her hand?  The timing of all the events was amazing, and I am still scared of the devil probably more than I should be.  There is a part of me that feels I should not be writing this, that I should leave it alone.  Do you think I should be scared?

Someone who read my book 100 Unfortunate Days said talent is usually called a gift from God, she said my book might be the one case it is not true.  One reviewer wrote she could not sleep for nights after reading it and had to stop.  Here is that review:

"I began reading 100 Unfortunate Days over a month ago. I read more than half, late at night, in one sitting. I felt an immediate kinship with the protagonist. I asked myself, had Crowe inexplicably been inside my head extracting images? Or had the worms squished their way inside, muddying up my brain? I had an uneasy feeling that the worms were already there, dormant, and 100 Unfortunate Days disturbed them. That night I had a dream or a vision of an old ghost-man smiling at me, on the verge of a laugh, at the foot of my bed. I didn't read any more for 7 days. Then i read a bit past day 75. This time i was visited by a demon troll who tried to take away my breath as i slept. I didn't read again for 14 days. I finished it today and I agree with Crowe, there should be a disclaimer before Day 1 because I am fairly certain that parts of this book may have been infected by the devil and in turn may contaminate you. That's balderdash, right? Maybe. If you are a skeptic and take this work as pure fiction from a very talented, highly imaginative authoress, go ahead and turn the page...and wish me luck tonight while i sleep..."

Maybe I will add that disclaimer...
  
I don't want to believe in the devil, but I may have to say that I do...

Protection from St. Michael--you may need it after this post:

http://www.traditioninaction.org/religious/b009rpMichael.htm