Crazy end to the year/Happy holidays

I can't help but think that spraining my foot the first week in October led to a crazy spiral of events to close out the year. I was pretty much out of commission for 6 weeks or so, while my foot healed - although I was able to ride once or twice, as long as I took it easy on anything other than walking (which, for Promise's sake, I need to do anyway). But, I wasn't able to go to the gym or even walk the puppy...and prior to that, I had been going to the gym 3-5 times a week and had lost 20 lbs. since January.

When the time changed in November, I told my foot "Too bad, so sad. If you're going to be sore, fine, but I can't take being stationary anymore." I decided to take advantage of the change and started getting up at 5 a.m. to walk Jazzy. At first, it helped a lot, and resulted in a calmer puppy at the end of the day, after being crated while we're at work. And then she started to get worse after our walks. I experimented with not walking her to see if she was any less of a beast, and she was. So, I learned that walking her at night was a better option than walking her, crating her again while I got ready for work and then having her out while I checked email, fed her and crating her again when I left for work. We currently do 2-3 miles a couple times a week, mixing in just having fun and walking and/or jogging with working on obedience.

Then, the night before Thanksgiving, my grandmother was taken to the ER with pneumonia. They did not admit her, but instead, took her back to hospice with a hefty round of antibiotics. She went downhill quickly, was unable to get out of bed and as time went on, was in quite a bit of pain. She passed away peacefully on December 13. While I am very sad that she's no longer here, I am also relieved that she is not in pain anymore, and that she isn't fighting anymore. I'm grateful to have gotten 20 months or so beyond what they estimated when she was diagnosed with renal cancer just over 3 years ago -- and also to have had that time to prepare for this emotionally. She was a wonderful, kind person and I have many amazing memories from years past that I will always treasure.

The week before my grandmother passed, I had accepted a new job, and gave my notice the day before...what an awkward situation that presented! I had too much to finish during my resignation period, including wrapping up final details for our Annual Meeting, to take more than a couple of hours of bereavement time. She would have wanted me to carry on, and since my initial breakdown after finding out, I have been relatively fine. Random things that make me think of her make me sad, but not to the point of being emotional. I know she's in a better place, and that knowledge helps a LOT.

I also know she was thrilled (and lucid for the first time in weeks) when I told her about the new job. So, that gave me some comfort as well.

In the midst of being laid up with injury and the stress of watching my grandmother go slowly and then ever increasingly downhill, I managed to put back on 10 lbs. of the weight I had worked so hard to lose during 2011. I've given myself some clearance until Christmas is over and plan to get back into the routine of going to the gym starting again next week, while I am temporarily unemployed! This weight CANNOT stick around...it's not welcome here!!!

Things are looking up. I don't know if it's in my stars or not, but with the acceptance of this new job, it seems like all the other little things that had been going awry have finally started to fall into place and sorting themselves out.

I am looking forward to starting 2012 off anew on several different levels.

And, my new job is MUCH closer to the barn (about 15 miles!), so I have renewed hope that I will be able to trek up there after work once in a while, in addition to trying to be more religious about going on the weekends. Unfortunately for Promise, she's been sort of on the back burner since the last time I posted. I'm sure she's happy being a horse, but I miss her and can't wait to see her again.

I hope all of you, your families and your critters, have a wonderful holiday season and a happy, healthy new year.

Quality time

After over a month of absolute insanity, I finally found the energy (and gas money) to go visit Miss Promise yesterday. 


I trudged into the barn feeling desperately guilty for being such a terrible horse mom only to find her contentedly munching on a round bale with her two closest buddies. I fed her a mint and we picked up where we left off (I guess I'll never know if it was the mint or not!). She followed me to the gate, stood waiting while I closed it behind her and looked pretty happy while I spent some time brushing her.


She's got quite a nice winter coat started -- and the best part is, she's not shedding at ALL. This is a change from last year...I've mentioned before that she had been lightly shedding pretty much all year round. Her coat is soft and shiny and is that beautiful seal bay color that I only get to see in the winter time, now that we live in Florida. She even has some dapples!


She's gained some weight, too. She's much less ribby than she was last time I was there. And, the "shelf" she had developed between her spine and the top of her ribcage has filled in some, as well. It's not quite perfectly smooth, but there is no, well, shelf, that stops your hand as you run it from spine to belly. 


All in all, she's looking pretty good for a senior citizen that's had a rough two years filled with injuries and lameness! Her right hind finally, officially has a real scar on it - hard, grey, unmovable - the cankles are gone. And, she is relatively sound, although I wasn't convinced she was quite sound enough to hop on even for a walk...I do feel like it's arthritic rather than anything else, from the weather changes we've had recently. Who knows, I just might change my mind and go for a short walk this afternoon. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone has a wonderful day with family and friends. I have a lot to be thankful for...and I would also like to wish Harley a happy birthday. It's been 3 years since we lost her (9/13/08) and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't still think of her and miss her. She would have been 15 today.


Happy birthday, sweet puppy girl! Thank you for all the wonderful years -- and for sending us Jazzy!

Just in case you forgot why my blog is called "It's a good thing you're cute"

When the clocks changed, I decided to be proactive and take advantage of it. I started getting up at 5 a.m. to walk Jazzy before getting ready for work. It was going pretty well, I got up 4 days the first week -- I skipped Friday because I was going out of town and had a long drive to make. Then I skipped Monday because I had a long drive back Sunday night. But, she also had puppy class Monday night, so she got to get out and about. Tuesday morning, I got up and we walked a half mile. Wednesday morning, I got up and we walked a mile.

Now...I don't have photographic evidence, because it occurred to me to take pictures after I'd already been to the trash can.

Jazzy somehow managed to let herself out of the crate yesterday (Wednesday)...I have a feeling the bottom latch on the side door was not latched to begin with, but who knows.

She had a small accident in the house and knocked all of the pillows off the futon and love seat. She didn't chew on a single piece of furniture (or the pillows) that we can see and very nicely avoided chewing on anything pertaining to computers in the office. Pretty impressive.

Not so impressive is the fact that she ate one of my good sneakers (I had a barn pair and a gym/dog walking pair). Now, granted, it's partially my fault for leaving them in the bathroom after our walk yesterday, instead of putting them in my bedroom where they belong...but I assumed with a puppy that should be safely tucked into her crate for the day, that they would be safe from harm, despite my laziness.

Sigh. She sure proved me wrong, didn't she?

Needless to say, she's not going on any walks of any kind until I get a new pair. My barn sneakers are fine for the barn but they are so old and beat up that they no longer have any support and as a result, if I really walk in them, I get very sore.

It's a good thing she's cute! She's also lucky I didn't serve her the other sneaker for dinner. O:)

Happy (belated) Halloween!

Jazzy went to puppy class in costume last night. She was quite a hit - there's no denying she looks adorable in her little pumpkin costume! And she was much more focused than she was the first class, so I have hope it'll keep getting better!

We're working on heel, automatic sitting when we stop, changing direction in a heel, down, stand and stay.

Cuteness quota

Jazzy is getting big pretty quickly. It seems like yesterday that she could sit in my lap while I was on the computer and have plenty of space...now I have to turn her away because she's just not so little anymore!


She starts puppy school on the 24th, and I am SO looking forward to having some things to work on! She's tough...seriously lacking in the manners department and very opinionated. It's been a while since I've trained a puppy so I am in desperate need of a refresher...plus having the structure and socializing and distractions is going to be very helpful...AND challenging.

good mare, bad owner

Good mare:

Promise got last weekend off due to bad weather, and yesterday off while I recovered from lack of sleep after a Toby Keith concert Friday night. I played lazy most of the day. I went up this afternoon hoping to be able to ride...and found this:

Not too shabby. So, after she very politely told me she didn't need to show off anymore (in the last video, lol)...we went back to the barn and tacked up. Had a nice ride, mostly walk, but we did trot a few times around and cantered about half a circle in each direction. The right hind felt sticky when it was on the outside, but she worked out of it reasonably well. And then to cool down we did some serpentines, working off my legs and trying to gently remind her to loosen her mouth. 

Oh yea, check out the leg below. I am very happy to report that what is left feels VERY much like the scars on her left hind that I assume are the result of barbed wire as a baby. It is grey, hard to the touch, smooth and not the least bit tender. We just may have finally beat this thing!

All in all, she was good. Moving well, happy and quite full of herself. 

Bad owner:

We finish our ride and I bring her back to her stall to untack her - she's STILL in heat, so I figure she probably needs to pee. I undo the girth, toss it over the saddle, pick the saddle up off her back and turn to take 2 steps to the wall and place it there. In the time it took me to do that (*maybe* 5 seconds), she reached down to scratch her face on her leg, the reins dropped down to her ears and she promptly stepped in them. When she brought her head back up, they broke. Sigh. 

Yup. Not my brightest moment today...I definitely know better.

Years ago I learned the hard way that after every ride, she scratches her face on her leg and I have to make sure to grab the reins so she doesn't step through them...because it's ugly when she tries to bring her head up and finds she can't. Normally, when the reins don't break, it results in a rather understandable, albeit dramatic, bronc session. 

This time, luckily, they broke...but unluckily, now I have to find a pair of reins that won't break the bank so I can continue riding. Ah well. Better than breaking while I was riding, right? 

Contest, Update, Random Thought

Shameless plug for a second entry: 
Don't miss out on a chance to win one of Kate's fantastic hand-painted saddle pads! Visit The Adventures of Lucy to enter!


Update:
Miss P (maybe it should still be Miss W) was still sassy and still in raging heat on Saturday. Apparently, she's been in heat for at least two weeks and she can't keep her eyes off this new gelding in the stall beside her.


But, on the bright-not-so-slutty side, she was quite sound...so much so that I promptly dragged her sassy little butt back to the barn and threw my saddle and bridle on. We then proceeded to mostly walk, but we did trot around twice in each direction (my foot wasn't too crazy about me posting) and I even let her canter half way around in each direction. She was good. Forward, but stiff through the mouth. I didn't ask for very much in terms of bending, as it really wouldn't be fair, but in previous rides, she's retained a good amount of the softness she had when she was in regular work. Could just be a side effect of the mood she's been in. Who knows?


Random Thought:
I had an rather odd thought just as I was falling asleep the other night and it made me go..."Hmm?"


I think the majority of her behavior for the vet was hormonal/herd-boundness. But I can't help but wonder how much of it is related to her last vet visit (with this same vet), which was that emergency call back in February, where she was clearly in quite a bit of pain and pretty distressed. 


Anyone think memory might have something to do with it? Thoughts? I could be crazy, too. :)

Vet's report

I am still stewing about Ms. Wench's behavior for the vet. I think the thing that really gets me is that I had her ground tied while I groomed and examined the leg myself and she never moved a muscle. And then she proceeds to kick the friggen vet. Grr.

Anyway. The vet was worried it might be a "summer sore" (Click to read more.) -- which I had never heard of before, but I guess it makes sense. After looking at it, she decided it probably wasn't that, after all. But the lack of obvious healing definitely has her worried. I mean, it's been 6 months. It's more than long enough.

She gave us more oral antibiotics and an antibiotic cream to apply under a bandage during the day, when she's inside. She recommended no bandage when she goes out, to decrease rubbing and let it get air. Luckily, she goes out at night when the flies are less. She also recommended Granulex spray for when it's not wrapped and to then coat it in SWAT to keep flies off of it.

She also suggested worming her, even though she isn't due for a couple more weeks, and gave us some extra-strength oral worming thing (no clue what it's called) to give 2x a day for 3 days in addition to that.

If it's not obviously improved in 14 days, she wants to come back and do an x-ray to make sure there isn't a bone chip causing the trouble. Also something I had never heard of.

Hmm, learning all kinds of things lately.

She did agree that putting her on Pergolide was probably a good move and when I mentioned some of the symptoms, thought it was definitely a good possibility. So, 2 vets are with me. And I do think it's making a difference, even in terms of how bad this heat cycle is.

It's hard to tell if it was the last round of antibiotics or the Pergolide that made the difference in this cut, but unfortunately, delaying one or the other wasn't possible without stopping her other supplements or delaying the antibiotics. Catch-22.

The good news is, she's feeling better. The bad news is...

...that made her an incorrigible, insufferable, hormonal, raving lunatic Wench for the vet this morning. Oh, wait. She's in raging heat like I have NEVER seen before on this mare. Never in all the years I've owned her, have I had to clean her back legs or seen her flash at the boys quite so much. Disgusting. 


There, I think that covered it. 


Oh yea, and I did a face plant into my front porch the other night and thought I broke my foot. After x-rays, it turned out to just be a sprain. But, my gimp of a mare was walking better than me today. Go figure.


Anyway, after speaking with the vet the other day, we agreed on an exam. Plus, she was slightly overdue for her coggins, so needed an appointment anyway. The barn owner and I brought her up to speed on everything that has happened since the emergency call back in February.


She goes to examine the right hind. Ms. Wench (as she will be known from here on out) kicks her. Yes, I'm serious. The vet smacked her a few times, although IMO not quite hard enough. Ms. Wench-Drama-Queen proceeds to freak out like she's never been smacked for bad behavior (let's be honest, I would have kicked her back and have, on several occasions in years past). She backs up, dragging me into the barn and almost knocks herself out on the top of the door frame when she tries to rear. 


Sigh. Alrighty then. 


Shank goes from her nose to her mouth. She knows I'm mad because I don't put it there anymore. She licks and chews and settles down enough for the vet to examine the leg, put antibiotics on it, etc. We talk about a plan of action and then the vet gets ready to draw blood for the coggins. At the sight of the needle, Ms. Wench starts flipping out. I tighten the shank a little bit and release when she stops. When the vet gets close enough to stick her, Ms. Wench shifts into reverse and starts pulling and threatening to rear...again. 


Nuh-uh. We're NOT playing this game. You're being ridiculous and exceedingly dangerous. Not to mention the fact that I've had MORE than enough of the attitude. So do us all a favor and lose it.


I stop her and move the shank from her mouth to her upper gum, under her upper lip. My disclaimer is this: putting a chain there is a last resort on any horse. I hate doing it. I don't pull or tug, I tighten it enough to release the endorphins and release. Unless they pull back, in which case, they're pretty much doing the same thing a pinch collar does to a dog when the dog pulls.


She immediately stops. Now there's no question she's in DEEP trouble. (In fact, if I could recreate this scenario, I'd be doing it over and over and over until she stood there like she's supposed to.) She eventually puts her head down for me and calmly lets the vet stick her and draw blood. I remove the shank as soon as the vet removes the needle and give her a handful of alfalfa pellets then lead her back to her stall, where she proceeds to flood the place.


Charming, mare. Absolutely charming.

Improving? Cushings? I think so.

Reference August 14's post, Psst! Check this out! to see the improvement. The difference in her coat and topline is really starting to show. Her hips are still pretty bony, but it takes a while to fill in the spot behind the belly.

I think she needs another round of antibiotics, so I will have to save up the $100 to get another bottle from the vet in the next week or so.

A little more about Jazzy

Drakkar (or Drake, left) and Jazzy (right) on July 24.

Since Kate over at The Adventures of Lucy asked about the Plott Hound breed, I thought I'd give a little more information about the little monster!


Plott Hounds are the state dog of North Carolina and are primarily used for hunting bear, mountain lions and boar. They are a coonhound that was originated in Germany as the Hanoverian hound and then brought to the United States by the Plott brothers in the 1700s, where they continued to refine their lines. They are the only UKC hound breed that does not trace back to the foxhound. And are one of the only breeds to be considered American.


Females weigh up to 65 lbs, have fine, short and smooth hair that can be any shade of brindle or black. Many of the brindles have hazel eyes - which is pretty cool.

Jazzy at the dog park, July 24.

Since they are "scent" hounds, when we agreed to foster, we decided to name them after scents. And so, they became Drakkar (as in Noir, the cologne) and Jasmine. We hadn't intended to keep either of them, but when an application came in for them, we started to get really bummed out about the thought of NOT having Jazzy. Also, the application was for a family with two children under the age of 7, and while Drake was more easy going and would be a good fit for them, we felt that Jasmine would not be. So, we told the rescue (which is run by a good friend of my mom's) and decided to keep her.

Jazzy, July 13.

This puppy is incredibly smart and makes our rather genius rottie Harley look like a slacker. At 12 weeks, she was already sitting on command, responding pretty regularly to "leave it" and was very quickly catching on to walking on a leash. 


Although her nose sometimes takes over the rest of her brain, at just about 5 months, she will do ANYthing for a cookie or praise. She heels well, knows she should sit when we stop walking (but gets lazy when she's tired!) and has a great recall for her age -- even at the dog park, she'll at least head my way if I call her! If she is uncomfortable (like another dog playing too rough), she'll come check in. 


She can sit, down, heel on leash or off 9 times out of 10. And at the park this weekend, on the third cookie, I had her going back and forth through an agility tunnel like she'd been doing it all her life. Sometimes, if I ask for something, I swear I can see her thinking about it and then she'll give it a really good guess.


I think the best thing she's learned so far is to ring a bell on the doorknob when she needs to go out!

Jazzy, September 4.

You can see that in a few short weeks, she has just about tripled in size.


The plan is to do beginner obedience starting in a couple of weeks, then depending on where she is, either repeat beginner or go straight to intermediate. I would like to do obedience and agility with her. My mom is contemplating doing scent trials of some sort, so we're going to see if we can get her to differentiate between equipment - i.e. collar and leash for obedience and agility and a harness for scent training. It'll be interesting. I figure if horses can understand the difference, so can she. 

This pup LOVES to work and part of the reason we didn't want her going to a home with kids is (we wanted her!!) but also, she NEEDS a job to do.

Therapy and A New Addition

Sometimes, climbing on the back of a horse and walking around is all the therapy I need. 

It's even better if it's my own horse. We walked around on the buckle for 10-15 minutes and just enjoyed each others' company. I had intended to mosey down the trail a little, but when we got down to the river, I was concerned by how muddy the other side looked. So, I made her walk in a couple of steps, stand there calmly, and then let her go back to the arena and called it a day.

The ears don't lie :)

She was not as sound as when I posted on August 14, but she looks really good at the walk. And, she no longer has "cankles" for hind legs - they look normal! (I did not realize how bleached out her tail was at the bottom until I looked at this photo -- I guess she IS still a redhead!)

Still battling that cut, but it looks a bazillion times better. 

Her topline still leaves a lot to be desired, but to be fair, she's not in work and she's a senior citizen. 

I do think that her belly is not quite as large, however. Here's the photographic proof -- (That's her boyfriend Ruler hanging over.) But I also was able to get her girth to 4 and 4 without even trying, and am pretty sure that if we'd actually been working, I could have easily gotten another hole on either - or both - sides. 

And finally, we have a new addition to the family...we were fostering her and her brother, and decided that we weren't letting her go because she reminded us too much of Harley. Meet Jasmine -- aka Jazzy or Jazz -- the 5 month old Plott Hound. 

Psst! Check this out!

Improving

I can't deny being horrified when I got to Promise's stall on Saturday and saw how raised the "scab" (I use the term loosely) and proud flesh were on her right hind. I tried to keep my panic internal because I hadn't examined it yet...I tried to convince myself maybe it wasn't as bad underneath.


I got my surgical scrub and mixed it with water, then went in to pull the "scab" off. Ewww. Raised just under a quarter of an inch above the skin and nasty looking. (I didn't take pictures for that very reason.) 


I wanted to cry (and vomit). Instead, I tried to figure out how I could get my hands on some hot water...in a moment of pure genius, I remembered there is a little coffee pot in the barn owner's office. I went and made some hot water there while Promise finished her dinner. Then I dumped 3/4 of my scrub/water mix and added the hot water to the remainder and went to town scrubbing.


It didn't take much at all to get the proud flesh off and it immediately started bleeding...quite profusely. Hooray!! And it didn't seem to hurt at all anymore. I made sure it was clean, rinsed it will cool water from the hose, hoping to not only wash the scrub off, but also slow the bleeding. Then I applied the first coat of Wonder Dust. 


Bled right through it. Instantly.


I let it sit for a minute or two, added a little more, let it sit, then gently hosed again and reapplied the Wonder Dust. Blood continued to run down her hoof. Hmm. I wanted it to bleed freely, but this was getting ridiculous. People were going to think I was murdering her.


I let it sit a bit longer, adding a little more Wonder Dust whenever I saw a wet spot appear. Then did a pressure wrap with vet wrap for a few more minutes. Soaked through it quickly, but it was definitely slowing down. I had some gauze and more vet wrap on hand just in case I needed to rewrap.


Since the horse in the stall adjacent to where I had her cross-tied was being a jerk and was biting her side while I was trying to tend to a hind leg (grr), I moved her outside (closer to the hose), removed the vet wrap before hosing it again and reapplying the Wonder Dust...again. This time, it did its job and the bleeding kept slowing down. While I waited, to be sure she was ok to turn out, I examined the left hind. 


The swelling appeared to be mostly toward the back where that "wind puff" is - in fact, the leg as a whole it looked relatively normal. There wasn't a trace of heat anywhere. And she was standing and walking pretty normal on it.


After chatting with the barn owner for a few minutes, where we agreed she should get the remaining 4 or 5 days of antibiotics, I finally felt comfortable enough with the lessening blood flow to put her out with her boyfriend for the night. 


She trotted (gimped) out of her stall eagerly and looked back at me like, "Thanks, Ma!" It was hard to tell on the zig-zag path she took which hind leg was causing more gimpiness, but I will take a closer look this weekend. With any luck, she'll be even more back to normal. She was pretty cheerful and definitely seemed to be feeling much better (the barn owner corroborated this theory!). She had put on a little bit of weight in a week, and she should have started the Pergolide late last week, too.


So, I guess for now, I listened to the right instinct. Fingers crossed that the Pergolide will have as much effect as the antibiotics seemed to.


The barn owner seems to have even more respect for me after an email conversation a week or so ago where I pretty much laid out where my thought process was. She said she just loves owners like me who are concerned for the quality of life of the animal and not just prolonging life for themselves. She also said if she was seeing pain all the time, she would absolutely let me know. 


Oh, and thanks to Kate for suggesting Cellulitis. I have never encountered this before, but the more I read the more it sounded plausible. That is really what prompted me to push the vet hard to get me some antibiotics...and let me tell you, I waited after work for 2.5 hours in a gas station parking lot for his partner to meet me with the bottle, on the way to her next call, lol. So, I'm glad they seem to be working!

A quick update

There was little change in the general appearance of the left hind - it is still quite swollen and very warm, even after cold-hosing. The swelling seems to begin a couple of inches below the hock and extends downward. She is not walking any better.


However...her demeanor had changed considerably. While still a bit duller than I would have liked, she was alert and interested in both me and my mother (I brought her with me for a second opinion I didn't have to pay for) and the doritos we smuggled for her. Her eyes did not have that same cloudy, pained look to them that had me so incredibly upset last weekend.


Based solely on the change in attitude, my mother's opinion was to not give up on her quite yet. She agreed the state of her legs is definitely not good but that attitude is a good indicator of quality of life - and level of pain.


So. Euthanasia is still on the table. BUT. 


My last push to see if there is anything I can treat for to prolong quality of life is going to be to do a blood panel looking for Cushing's Disease. It has been in the back of my mind for a while that she is showing some signs of early onset of CD. She doesn't by any means have all of the symptoms, but many don't. The symptoms I've noticed include (obviously) slow healing in addition to loss of topline while maintaining a "pot belly" and although her coat is not overly thick and is definitely NOT curly or wavy, she IS shedding a LOT - like an abnormal amount, especially considering the heat - and has been for some time now. In addition, she has always been a heavy drinker (and therefore a heavy urinator) - which could be coincidence, since it's a trait she's always had.


I am going to make it clear to the vet that I'm at the end of my rope here. I do not want to ultrasound or x-ray, but will have him give me his evaluation of the left hind in terms of best theory from what he sees and feels -- but I have a gut feeling that she's blown a tendon or something, in which case, there truly is only one option.

Thank you.

Thank you all for your kind words. (Lisa, that quote really helped more than I can tell you.:)


This is hard. Ultimately, I didn't have to have the final say with Harley, I only had to have an opinion. She wasn't my dog in the literal sense, just in the companion/best friend/grew up together sense. I have the final say here and SO completely wish I could pawn it off on someone else right now!


I also know that I can't.


I have not made an official decision yet but obviously I am leaning more in one direction than the other because I need to do the right thing for her, no matter how much it hurts me or how much my wonderful boyfriend begs me to keep trying to find a solution - to try x-rays or putting her out to pasture or...etc. I appreciate that he wants to protect me.


But it's not about me.


For both emotional and financial reasons, it will need to be sooner rather than later if euthanasia is to be the final outcome.


At first, I selfishly thought, "Well, I don't want to do it before August 1 because my birthday is coming up and that would suck." And then I unselfishly realized that yes, it would suck...but ultimately, it would be better for both of us - her pain would be over and I wouldn't have to watch her living in pain. And if I use my birthday as an excuse to prolong it, what next...can't do it before September 1 because it's a long weekend? Too much going on?


Forget it. It's not about me. One more time for good measure...this isn't about me. And there's the first step to recovery. :)


Anyway, I put her SmartPak on hold yesterday to buy some time with my billing cycle...and, well...there's a good chance I'm not going to need it. I haven't heard back from the barn owner, which is unusual. But I will stick to my week to see what happens with the left hind and go from there.

I think it's time to make a decision

October will be two years since the original injury to Promise's right hind leg -- whatever that injury may have actually been, it has resulted in chronic lameness off and on (mostly on) ever since. The injections didn't help for very long and it seems that the joint supplement I put her on helped at first, but is no longer doing very much for her.


The cut below her fetlock is not really getting any better. I took Laughing Orca's advice and purchased some Vetericyn (ouch to the $39.99 price tag on a 16 oz bottle) for her and although it has helped make minor improvements that may not have happened otherwise, it just is not doing enough.


Below is a picture taken yesterday, followed by a picture taken on 7/3.

It's just not healing and I don't really know why.

On top of that, when I got there yesterday, she was dragging her toe on the left hind. This mare is not lazy and has never had a toe-dragging problem until these recurring problems began with the right hind. So now, she is dragging both toes, although the left is currently worse...and is already showing wear on the hoof. I saw no evidence of swelling, bruising, cuts, tenderness, nothing. Just toe-dragging and short-stepping symptoms of lameness. 

As a result, she's obviously not walking well. Today, the left fetlock looked like a softball and was pretty warm. I walked her, albeit slowly, for about 15 minutes then let her graze off-lead for another 10. She barely moved while grazing. I then walked her back up to the barn and cold-hosed her leg for another 10 minutes or so. The walk from the arena to the barn had her huffing. And neither the walking nor the hosing changed the swelling in the left fetlock. 

She's not miserable but she's not herself, either. She was happy to see mints but didn't try to mug me for them like she usually does. This horse has never refused to walk forward, she's never stopped and looked at me like she just couldn't do it. I'm having serious flashbacks to Harley. 


I don't want to have to make this decision, but I'm afraid I don't have a choice anymore. And I'm afraid in many ways that it's already been made for me. I am giving her another week to see what changes occur with the left hind. But I can't keep doing this...I have to be the one to decide when it's been long enough...and I think it has been. It's not fair to either one of us and I just don't have the financial means to keep trying things that will only be temporary fixes anyway.

I've officially lost count

As per usual, there is good news and bad news. The good news is, she's looking better...the photo below is after I was awful and scrubbed the scab off of it. That's right, it was scabbed!! But, the scab was rather dirty and gross, and I want her body to try again. It is smaller, the proud flesh is considerably less - it did bleed when I scrubbed, but seemed MUCH less tender to the touch. She kept her toe on the ground for the entire process, where she had been lifting the foot away previously. So, definitely progress in the healing/ouchiness department.

The bad news is she's still lame, although she is minutely better than she was last week at the trot, and I thought her walk really looked pretty good after she had trotted around for a few minutes.

So, I'm guessing it's going to be a few more weeks. And, the insane heat is certainly not helping her healing ability. 

The Healing Process Part 201726495

I didn't post last week because the small changes in Promise's leg were not really evident from the photos I took of it. Today, on the other hand, it is looking infinitely better. She's moving well at the walk, but overall, she's still very lame - which is upsetting, because last week she looked to be about 70% sound at the trot. And, I was hopeful that she'd be about 80% this week. 


No such luck...she looked worse. However, it could be due in part to the healing process, and in part to the amount of proud flesh that I need to deal with for real, tomorrow:

But, if you compare to the last photo I posted, it has filled in considerably - it is level with the area, instead of being sunken in like it was before. It looks a little irritated here, to reflect her mood at the time of the photo. lol. I spent a good 20 minutes scrubbing, spraying with peroxide, rinsing, scrubbing, etc. until the peroxide completely stopped foaming. I 100% certify this cut is CLEAN. 

I also spent a good amount of time scrubbing, picking and generally cleaning up the hair and skin around it as it was fairly crusty from Wonder Dust application, weeping, etc. You can see quite a bit of new hair and skin growth around it, also. So, the mare wasn't very happy with me, but all things considered, she was an angel about the whole process and didn't once try to kick me in the head.

I coated it with furazone - since I couldn't make it bleed, Wonder Dust was rather pointless - and rewrapped it. Tomorrow, I will boil some water and pack it in a thermos before I head out. By the time I get there, it should be just hot enough to deal with the proud flesh. 

I have a feeling it looks much better underneath that rather nasty disaster!

Sigh.

Life seems to have gotten slightly crazy again all of a sudden...and I didn't really notice until I realized I hadn't updated in quite a while. 

I had a great ride again 2 weeks ago, that very closely mirrored the one I wrote about on April 29, minus some of the drama, and mistakes. I think I did a better job of keeping my body steady and strong and of supporting her so that she could better carry herself. This was pretty well proven when she picked up the right lead the first time I asked!

And then I wasn't able to get up there last weekend because of Mother's Day and family stuff. I'm feeling incredibly guilty, because I can't help but wonder if she'd been worked last weekend, if this wouldn't have happened:

Since it is the SAME spot, and was previously scabbed over with an ugly grey, scar-like scab, but not making any additional progress healing, I think it's fair to assume that this is blown abscess #2.


It's really pretty gross looking - the cellphone picture just doesn't do it justice, lol - and it seems fairly ouchy. I cleaned it up, and wrapped it with vet wrap to see how she was moving. She's walking decently, but she's pretty lame at the trot. It's definitely not coming from high-up on the leg, so it is related to this little beauty. Then I unwrapped it and let it air out while we hand-grazed and talked with the barn owner for 30 minutes or so. 


Cleaning round #2, with lots of peroxide, water, and scrubbing. (Yea, she hates me right now.) It didn't fizz much, so that's a really good sign. But I think there is more to it underneath some of the crusty hair surrounding it, I just don't want to cause her any unnecessary pain to find out. 


I let it air dry while I pulled her mane, then put Wonder Dust on it, wrapped it with a diaper, vet wrap and a single turn of duct tape and then turned her back out with her buddies. 


On the bright side, she's sound in the front after only a week with no shoes! 

Who Am I With My Horse?

I took this "quiz" in the spur of the moment...I happened to see one of my horse friends had taken it and posted her results on Facebook. If you haven't done it, go here: http://www.epala.org/

If you decide to do it, post your archetype in the comments. I am curious.


My results? I am a Shaman. This analysis is so spot on, it's eery. Here's what it says:

How they see the world. As connected and as One. That everything happens for a reason and there are no absolutes, no either/or. 

Emotion/Energy. Understand emotion as a message. Able to acknowledge emotion without acting on it. Understand the electromagnetic charge of emotion in relationship to horses. 

Shadow. Understand and accept their dark side and have “tempered” it over the years so that the emotional charge of it doesn’t harm humans or horses. 

How they are toward others. Balanced. Enjoy the company of others but also appreciate solitude. Seen by others as calm, wise, pleasant to be with. Enjoy being “in service” to others. 

How they see horses. As partners. As different but equal in terms of deserving a voice, a choice. Advocate for horse. Horses drawn to steady, calming ways. “Horse Whisperer.” 

What they want from a horse. Whatever the horse is able to give given who they are, their situation and their history. Will ask of a horse and then wait to see the response. Expectations are minimal – take what is offered by the horse and work forward from that point. 

As a riding student. Have a special connection with whatever horse they ride. No matter riding ability have a calm, open, curious presence when learning. Will be less inclined to choose mechanical aids for riding (crops, whips, spurs, some bits, biting devices). Uncanny ability to calm horses in any environment with no obvious effort or technique – just their presence. 

As an instructor or trainer. Calm demeanor with the wisdom to understand what each rider and horse need to gain connection. Focus of lessons and training on horse/human relationship such that horse then performs from a place of trust and respect.

As a competitor. Less drawn to competition than other archetypes. If competing, has the ability to stay calm and focused. Enjoys the challenge of competition in partnership with horse. Results not so important. 

Riding discipline drawn to. Shamans have such a deep connection to horses they can step into almost any discipline and create a profound relationship with the horse. 

Horses they are drawn to. Horses of all kinds are drawn to the Shaman and most Shamans appreciate all kinds of horses. 

Horses they should to avoid. None. A shaman is a gift for any horse to have in their life. 

Horsemanship tools and/or training of choice. The Shaman brings a magic to any tool or training technique they become involved with. Whatever they use or however they apply it – the horse will always be considered and a goal of partnership will be the outcome. 

Greatest Strength. Way of knowing intuitively and through wisdom how to connect and form a true partnership with horses where the horses have choice. 

Greatest liability. Not being understood or accepted by others who still see horses through a dominance/submission paradigm. 

Important lesson. Be willing to teach others how to manifest their Shaman energy with horses. Don’t keep wisdom to self or downplay its importance for the evolution of the horse/human relationship. 

Activities for Growth. Mentor young people in the ways of partnership with horses.