Getting giddy for release day of “The Great Panty Caper.” And some other stuff.

“So I hear congratulations are in order!”

Those were the words of a business colleague I ran into on my lunch break last week.

Normally when someone congratulates me, I know what it’s for. It might be related to a successful media pitch I performed in my capacity as the PR manager for my city’s tourism bureau, or it might be a commentary on the impromptu striptease I performed on the bar the previous night. Either way, I know which it is.

But in this case, I had the good fortune of not knowing which wonderful life event prompted my colleague to congratulate me. Could it be:

The bridge where my gentleman friend
popped the question.

• I got engaged. Yep, that’s right. My gentleman friend surprised me with a ring and a bended-knee proposal on a bridge in a park where we were strolling during a romantic getaway last weekend. I bawled. And I said yes. Duh. Though he will always be my gentleman friend, it looks like he’ll also be my fiancée, and (assuming he doesn’t run away screaming in the next 12 months) eventually my husband.
• I have a new book coming out October 8—holycrapthatstomorrow. The Great Panty Caper is my latest release with Coliloquy, the awesome publisher of interactive fiction (sorta like a grownup version of choose-your-own-adventure). Technically, The Great Panty Caper is part of the Getting Dumped series, so you’ll recognize the characters and details if you’re a fan. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you can still enjoy The Great Panty Caper since it’s a standalone novella that makes sense even if you’ve never read anything else I’ve written.
  
• Early reviews for The Great Panty Caper have been rolling in quickly and making my head swell like an aroused flesh banana. Reviewers have written things like, “This book had me laughing out loud,” and “You will fall in love with the Shultz sisters.” Oh, and my favorite, “I read this book in one sitting. Then I immediately went back and read all the alternative versions. Then I had to go read one of Tawna Fenske's other books.” Music to an author’s ears!

With so many awesome things happening in my life, it’s understandable they’d blur together. I figured I might as well take advantage of that, and asked my gentleman friend if he’d like to tie the knot at the landfill (the setting for the first two Getting Dumped stories).

He hasn’t replied yet, but I’m sure that’s only because he’s so overcome with joy.

If you want to get your hands on The Great Panty Caper you can find it here for Kindle, or here for Nook, or here for the iBookstore, or here for Kobo, or here for Android. It’s only $1.99, which is less than a three-pack of Trojan Magnum condoms and almost as fun.

To follow the whole blog tour, here’s the lineup of friends, fans, street team members, and random strangers blogging about The Great Panty Caper:

• Ocober 8: Coliloquy
• October 10: Jennie Shaw of Well Shut the Front Door (review)
• October 11: Jennie Shaw of Well Shut the Front Door (interview)
• October 12: Erica of The Book Cellar (review)
• October 14: Lynn Reynolds (review)
• October 15: Heidi of CosmoChickLitan (review)
• October 17: ChickLit Central (promo post + giveaway)
• October 18 Elizabeth Flora Ross of The Writer Revived (review)
• October 20: Kate of Verb Vixen (review & character profile)
• October 21: Mary of Bookswarm (review)
• October 23: Kiera of Love,Romance, Passion (review)

Blue Cat, one of the stars of The Great Panty Caper.

Huuuuuuuge (like massive, Trojan Magnum sized) thanks to all those lovely folks for the wonderful buzz about  The Great Panty Caper. Seriously, guys, you’ve made this one of the most fun book releases I’ve ever had.

So back to the colleague who congratulated me.

I finally gave up guessing and inquired which accomplishment he was praising.

“I heard you fixed the popcorn maker in the break room,” he said. “I know how much you love that thing.”

Um, thanks?

Not safe for work....but you totally want to watch this!

For a few weeks now, I've been gushing about Coliloquy, the publisher that just released my quirky romantic caper, Getting Dumped, as one of their first "interactive fiction" titles.

When my agent first called me about getting involved with something so new and unique and...um, well, different, I'll admit it – I didn't totally understand. Choose-your-own-adventure? For grownups? On Kindle? Well, OK...maybe.

It wasn't until I had a chance to talk with Coliloquy co-founder Lisa Rutherford that I totally got it.

And holy cow, you'd better believe I signed that contract within hours.

Since I'm guessing some of you might still be hazy on the concept, I wanted to share a video of the amazing Lisa Rutherford speaking at a conference and offering a demo of how different types of interactive fiction can work. It's an awesome overview not only of the interactive fiction concept, but of why Coliloquy is so incredible I just had to get involved.

I'll warn you there might be a tiny smidge of risque language right near the end, so consider this not safe for work.

But you should definitely check it out when you aren't surrounded by co-workers or toddlers or monkeys easily offended by slang terms for female genitalia. I promise it'll get you as jazzed about interactive fiction as everyone else seems to be.

Here's the link (with a little intro text to set things up, just so you know you won't go straight to the video).

Whaddya think? Exciting, huh?

And admit it....are you as delighted as I am by the idea of customized erotica? I think I need to lie down now.

Why I shouldn't be trusted to communicate this week

Yesterday, I sent a congratulatory note to a friend who landed an agent. I tried to type "yaaay!" but my phone decided I meant "yeast!"

So my friend either thinks I'm baking sourdough, or hoping to discuss infections. Either way, this is the sort of week I'm having.

Tuesday evening, I got a note from my real estate agent alerting me that a house I really, really like in a neighborhood I really, really love, just went up for sale at a price I might actually be able to afford without selling my nipples on the black market. I was still squealing with excitement when an email arrived from my literary agent (who, incidentally, shares a first name with my realtor. I know, right?)

She had some exciting news, too. News I decided to post to Twitter immediately, along with an Amazon link.

You see where this is going, don't you?

Yup, I tweeted the link to the house. After four-dozen replies from confused readers wondering why I wanted all 2,315 of my Twitter followers to see photos of a foreclosed home in Central Oregon, I figured out how to delete the tweet and post the right link.

Only it turns out I kinda wasn't supposed to post the link just yet because it's sorta still a secret. Sorta.

"Feel free to mention that it's up in broad strokes," came the note from my publisher, which sent me into giggles and fits. It's up? Broad strokes? Sometimes, I swear you guys are just feeding me the filthy jokes.

Oh, and here's what else I'm allowed to say: "Shh...still being tested, but guess what's up in the Amazon store?! Just a few days to launch and lots of details!"

So that's what I can tell you right now. In case you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, rest assured, this is the story of my life. I shared news about my new project with Coliloquy here, so that should give you another clue.

Stay tuned for more details next week. And feel free to share any embarrassing "you won't believe what I did" stories of your own. It'll make me feel better.

Oh, and if you get any texts, tweets, or email messages from me this week, I'd like to apologize in advance. For whatever.

Do I have to sweep my floor for the naked men?

Back when I was racking up rejection letters faster than a stripper collects sequined g-strings, my amazing agent gave some great pep talks (though sadly, no sequined g-strings, which is a bummer since I kind of wanted one).

One of the pep talks offered the up-side to the number of manuscripts I'd written and subsequently seen rejected. Someday, she assured me, one domino will fall and everything will sell and you'll suddenly have more book deals than you can handle.

I loved the pep talk, but had a hard time envisioning what that day might look like. I imagined a lot of half-naked men writhing on my office floor, but didn't get much further than that in my fantasies about an overabundance of authorial good fortune.

But I think I finally get it.

The great news is that I have a lot of...well, great news to share. The not-so-great news is that I haven't yet figured out how to clone myself to handle all the book stuff (not to mention the half-naked men on my floor).

But I'd rather focus on the great news.

First up, Publishers Marketplace just released the official announcement of my new book deal with Coliloquy:

You should be able to click that to make it readable, and in case you missed last week's announcement about the new deal, you can check out my posts here and here.

To sum it up in a nutshell, here's the official marketing lingo I'm allowed to share about what Coliloquy is and what my story is about:

"Active fiction" is a new type of e-reading experience that allows the reader and the author to interact with each other and the text in new and different ways.

In Getting Dumped, Tawna gives you one very simple choice point: Which guy should JJ call? Depending on your choice, you’ll get to know one of the guys a bit more intimately. Don’t be afraid to read all three versions–it’s for JJ’s own good, after all! And of course, feel free to re-read YOUR favorite over and over again. Tawna still isn't sure who JJ should end up with, so she's eager to see who her readers prefer. She sees the aggregate statistics on who gets picked the most, so the more you read, the more you influence what she writes.

So there's that. Super exciting, to be sure, and I promise I'll have more details very soon.

Then there's the news that Amazon and Barnes and Noble just posted the cover for Believe it or Not, my second romantic comedy that's slated for release with Sourcebooks in March 2012.

I'm actually not 100% sure if that's the final, OFFICIAL cover or just the cover for the advance reading copies, but I figure it's got to be pretty close since it's online, and obviously everything online is true and accurate.

Pretty, no?

Then there's the news that Making Waves has been picked for not one, but two online promotions through Amazon. The first kicks off December 17, and here's what the Sourcebooks publicist told me about it:

Amazon is running a great promotion the week prior to Christmas, another one of their “Big Deals.” They have chosen Making Waves to be a part of this promotion, and it will be priced at $0.99 from December 17-23.

This sort of thing is fabulous news for a no-name debut author like me, since budget-conscious Kindle owners are often willing to take a gamble on a new author when the price is right. It's a terrific way to get some exposure.

And of course, for those of you I've already exposed myself to (snicker) it's a terrific way for you to pick up a cheap e-book gift for a Kindle-toting loved one this holiday season.

So there you have it. Three chunks of good news related to three different books. Crazy times, to be sure!

Now where are those naked men?

The art of the tease

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been called a tease.

Raise your other hand if you’ve secretly considered it a compliment.

Crap, I can’t type with both hands in the air.

The art of the tease is something romance authors work long and hard (snicker) to perfect. Your characters might want to jump each other’s bones on page one, but you’ve got 350 pages to fill. Odds are good you’ll run out of sex positions by then, and sad as it is to say, even I’d be bored by 350 pages of playing spear the donut.

I heard an editor once say she prefers to have the couple in a romance novel swap their first kiss by page 50 and first sex by page 100. It’s a rule I’ve never followed, and so far, no one’s yelled at me for it. I far prefer the long, drawn-out tease. I want the couple to come close to burping the worm once, twice, maybe three times, building the tension and leaving the reader squirming in her chair.

There’s an art to the squirming, though. Interrupt too many hookups with a ringing telephone or some other clichéd contrivance and you’ll have your reader rolling her eyes instead of diddling herself under the desk turning the pages of your book.

I've heard people say the romance novels are all about how to get two people together, but I disagree. Getting them together is the easy part. Creating a long, slow, tease that keeps them from consummating their relationship for much of the book is the tough part.

With all this talk about teasing, I feel obligated to say I'm not quite done doing that with my new book deal for Coliloquy. I shared some of the details on Monday and Tuesday, but I can't give it all up just yet. Stay tuned here for more info, or sign up with Coliloquy to be first to hear about release information.

In the meantime, how do you feel about the fine art of the tease? Can you think of examples of authors or significant others who've done a particularly good job with it? Please share!

It's time for me to put my hands down and quit typing with my toes.

How you know your new publisher rocks

In case you've ever wondered, here's how you know if your new publisher rocks so hard they'd make Popeye seasick.

You walk out to your mailbox on a gloomy Monday afternoon expecting the usual assortment of bills, pizza coupons, and sex toy catalogs church bulletins.

Instead, you find this:

Yes, Coliloquy – the folks publishing my new "active fiction" title later this week – sent me a new Kindle loaded with all their launch titles. Holymotherofcrap, isn't that cool?

As you know, I've had to be pretty secretive about the nature of this project. There are still a few things I'm not allowed to reveal until release day, but I asked permission to answer some of the questions you guys posed in the comments yesterday.

The Sprouting Acorn asked:
I'd still like to know what the cat photo had to do with the clues in Friday's post.

That's an easy one! When I sat down to write Getting Dumped, I decided JJ needed a pet. I looked to my own four-legged brood to assess who'd make the best character in a romantic caper. It didn't take long for me to settle on Blue Cat:

I acquired Blue Cat by accident several years ago when I wandered into Petco for aquarium plants. They had a section of cages filled with death row cats who'd been at the animal shelter for too long, and Blue Cat caught my eye because he was huge and mostly bald.

"Someone adopted him for a month and then brought him back so matted they had to shave him," the attendant explained.

His tag said he'd been at the shelter for more than a year and that he was 13 years old. "No one's going to adopt an elderly, bald, 300 pound cat who's probably crazy after being incarcerated for a year," I said. "I'll take him."

On his first visit to the vet, he threw such a snarling, howling conniption fit, the vet tech tried to send us home. But the vet came in and wrestled him to the ground so she could peer at his teeth. "This cat isn't 13 years old," she said. "He's maybe 3 or 4."

Despite his occasional surly disposition (usually tempered by spending an hour chasing the dog around the house) Blue Cat is the most loving of my three feline companions. The sheer size of him means he puts my legs to sleep when he sits on me, but whenever I feel glum, I can count on Blue Cat to magically appear and offer his lap-warming services. He chases large dogs out of the yard, and the neighbors have dubbed him "Battle Cat" for his tough-guy walk and fearless nature.

That's Blue Cat in a nutshell, and you'll be seeing quite a bit of him in Getting Dumped.

Now for the next blog reader comment:

Steph Schmidt wrote:
I signed up for Coliloquy but after reading that blurb I'm impatient as all hell for it to launch (never mind I lack an e-reader, mere details at this point).

Thanks for your eagerness! For the initial launch, Kindle will be the only format for Getting Dumped. There are super-techy reasons for that, but I'm not allowed to go into details just yet. Consider it a good reason to add a Kindle to your holiday wish list, or stay tuned for details about other formats and platforms.

Sierra Godfrey wrote:
Very interesting! I look forward to seeing how this works. Any chance you can outline what exactly actively interacting with you entails? Er...we ARE reading, right?

We're getting into top-secret territory here, but I promise I'll be able to share more details later this week. For now, here's the official marketing lingo I'm allowed to post:

"Active fiction" is a new type of e-reading experience that allows the reader and the author to interact with each other and the text in new and different ways.

In Getting Dumped, Tawna gives you one very simple choice point: Which guy should JJ call? Depending on your choice, you’ll get to know one of the guys a bit more intimately. Don’t be afraid to read all three versions–it’s for JJ’s own good, after all! And of course, feel free to re-read YOUR favorite over and over again. Tawna still isn't sure who JJ should end up with, so she's eager to see who her readers prefer. She sees the aggregate statistics on who gets picked the most, so the more you read, the more you influence what she writes.

If it sounds fun to read, I can tell you it's been 10-times as fun to write. The authors among you will all be familiar with how much second guessing goes into every decision you make when plotting a book. It's been amazing to be able to sit back and say, "here are a few ways this can go, let's have readers pick!"

I'll share more info as soon as I can, and I promise to post Amazon links and other goodies once I have the go-ahead.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go play with what came in the mail.

The Kindle, you perverts. The Kindle.

How I fulfilled my trashy fantasies

When I was five, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Waiting for the garbage truck with my kid brother.

Every Tuesday morning, I'd scramble to the big picture window at the front of the house and wait for that familiar rumble. I'd sit, mesmerized, as the garbage truck came lumbering down the street.

"Garbey-guck," my two-year-old brother would announce.

"Damn straight," I'd say (or something to that effect). "Someday, I'm going to drive one."

I'm 37 now, and I haven't entirely fulfilled my fantasy. But I've come close.

In the spring of 2008, I got laid off from a job as the director of marketing and franchise development for a chain of photo studios. I was thrilled.

Because it gave me the chance to combine my adult career fantasy of being a novelist, with my childhood career fantasy of working with trash. I remember the phone call I made shortly after my layoff. My words came out in an excited jumble, and the receptionist was so silent afterward that I thought she'd hung up on me.

"Let me get this straight," she said at last. "You want to come here to the Deschutes County Department of Solid Waste to do research for a mystery/romance novel."

"Yes!"

"Romance," she repeated. "And mystery. In a landfill?"

"Yes!"

There was another long pause, so I decided to press my luck. "Do you think there's any chance I could drive the compactor?"

I didn't get to drive the compactor, but I did get to sit in the cab and make growly noises, followed by the occasional beep-beep for backup effect. I can honestly say that doing research for Getting Dumped was some of the most fun I've ever had in my life.

And in case you haven't figured it out yet, Getting Dumped is the secret project I've been hinting about for awhile now. The book is set to release this week, and here's a blurb:

Losing a cushy marketing job only to end up driving heavy equipment at the landfill would be a tough blow for most women.

But JJ Schultz isn’t most women, so she gamely swaps office politics and dry cleaning bills for a chance to crush garbage with a 150,000 pound machine. As it turns out, she doesn’t miss her old life too much…though her love life was sure a lot simpler when she didn’t wear a hardhat every day. Between her hot new co-workers and her on-again-off-again boyfriend, JJ has her hands full.

But the drama kicks into high gear when JJ and her sister, Lori, find evidence of a counterfeit handbag operation – something local police deem only slightly more urgent than collecting fruit flies. JJ soon finds herself unraveling a sinister plot in the company of a tie-tugging accountant, a straight-to-video action hero turned secretary, a suspicious but sneaky-hot engineer, and a host of other characters with questionable hygiene and morals.

Now here's the kicker – the book is being released as an "active fiction" title. Er, what does that mean? Well, it's a brand new kind of e-reading experience that allows the reader and author to interact with each other and the text in new and different ways.

Think grown-up, modern version of those choose-your-own adventure novels from childhood.

Intrigued? So was I when my agent called early last summer positively shrieking with excitement over this hot new opportunity. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and soon I was almost as excited about being one of the launch authors for Coliloquy as I was about driving the garbage truck.

I'll be able to share more details over the next couple days, but you can click that Coliloquy link to sign up for an alert when the launch titles go live this week.

For now, I'd love to hear more about what you wanted to be when you were young. Did it change when you got older? Have you ever had the chance to fulfill any childhood career fantasies? Please share!

I'll be sitting in the backhoe at the construction site down the street making growly noises. If you see me, don't interrupt.

Photo Phriday, pheaturing hints about next week's book release

As I shared yesterday, I have a top secret new book scheduled to release next week. I can't spill all the details yet, but I will tell you it's a totally new concept in publishing and storytelling, and I'm crazy excited about it.

Or maybe just crazy.

Since this is my second time around the book release block, I've come to the conclusion there's some mysterious, magical force that causes life to throw all manner of chaos at an author at the precise moment she's preparing for a book release.

If my brain weren't fried, I might try to write a post with a bunch of cleverly worded clues about the book and the publisher.

But clever wording is beyond my grasp right now, so how about a few clues in picture form?

Intrigued? Or just confused? Come back next week, and I promise that will all make sense.

Er, maybe.

Have a great weekend, guys!